The satirical diary about Charles Carreon
by Christopher Recouvreur
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Librarian's Comment: This page represents a hate site created by Christopher Recouvreur against attorney Charles Carreon, and Librarian Tara Carreon, where in a case of supposedly legal identity theft, he fraudulently signs his hate posts with Charles and Tara's names. This is what the Free Speech Mafia has given us. We have Paul Levy of Public Citizen to thank for this. The REAL Charles Carreon can be found here. The REAL Tara Carreon can be found here.
Nowadays, there’s a lot of people claiming to be parodists who wouldn’t know how to execute a parody if they were told they would die at sunrise if they failed to do so. The operator of Charles-Carreon.com is such a man. I can imagine Popehat, in his cups, at the end of a long, boring night in his glassed-in command post, looking over the smoggy skyline towards San Bernardino, getting his jollies sending Recouvreur a text telling him he’ll hang at dawn if he can’t actually launch a real parody site against Carreon before the first rays of sun tint the sky. Poor Christopher would probably not be shocked to be told that he has fallen far short of executing a real parody.
Christopher Recouvreur is not a parodist. He is a fabulist. He makes things up about me. He imagines me doing things, and imagines my wife doing things, and puts words in the mouth of “Charles Carreon.” These words he puts in my mouth are like nothing I have ever said or would say. There’s no ironic play on my true character. He’s pretending that Charles Carreon is a silly guy, that his brain works in funny ways, and that everyone should make fun of him. There’s no parody there.
I mean, I’ve done a few parodies, so I would recognize it if someone actually parodied me. Like I took the “Hotel California” tune and wrote anti-Bush lyrics for it in “Hotel Babylonia.” I ripped off Elton John and did that “Condoleezza” song about George W. Bush’s love for his Secretary of State. I stole Elvis’ “Blue Suede Shoes” as the music for my late-term craziness opus – “The Old Ve-to,” and clipped the Sex Pistols’ “God Save the Queen” for my tour-de-force reconciliation of the opposites – “Vlad and Me.” I’ve put funny political lyrics in rock tunes lampooning conservative politicians and policies – a harmless enjoyment that is probably sufficient to get you some unwelcome attention. Like from faux parodists like Recouvreur, a Rapeutationist pretending to be an artist. Give you any odds that he did not draw that cartoon of me on the dinosaur. (Can I buy it?)
If you were an artist, and you wanted to parody me, you would have to actually look at what I have done, and start making fun of that, which of course would be possible, because everything can be made fun of, and I make the job easier by engaging in outlier behavior, like leaving the big city law grind, spending years living in yurts in the woods of Southern Oregon, and having a well-known identification with rock and rollers as heroes. C’mon, guys! There’s stuff to work with here. I’m Mexican, and you can always parody Mexicans easily, can’t you? Oh, I don’t fit the stereotype! Damn! I’ve written smart-alecky songs like “Explode on the Border,” with inflammatory lyrics like, “I’ll show you what this burrito’s for!” Don’t be lazy. You can use that.
-- Parody vs. Fabulism, by [The Really Real] Charles Carreon
[Monica Lewinsky] A meta-analysis done out of the Netherlands showed that for the first time, cyberbullying was leading to suicidal ideations more significantly than offline bullying. And you know what shocked me, although it shouldn't have, was other research last year that determined humiliation was a more intensely felt emotion than either happiness or even anger.
-- Monica Lewinsky (TED Talks)
Table of Contents
• Today I conquer the internet (6/18/12)
• Quick Update! (6/18/12)
• The Next Nuclear Holocaust (6/18/12)
• This is what I am talking about (6/18/12)
• New Client? (6/19/12)
• Don't mess with my mom, or I'll go Tucson Jack on you (6/19/12)
• My email address is not on the internet (6/19/12)
• Barre Cleveland vs The Dawg Dish (6/19/12)
• I will subpoena the internet now (6/20/12)
• Class Action Suit (6/20/12)
• I don't care if you're in Canada. I'll find you. (6/20/12)
• Wasn't Me (6/20/12)
• Copyright and Digital Libraries (6/21/12)
• F the EFF (6/21/12)
• I can't sue myself (6/21/12)
• A break from character (6/21/12)
• You are not the internet (6/22/12)
• Branson owes me dinosaurs (6/22/12)
• I warned you all (6/23/12)
• Get me out of here! (6/23/12)
• Finally Some Respect (6/24/12)
• My dick works (6/24/12)
• Told you so (6/25/12)
• A look back in time (6/26/12)
• All of your domains are belong to me (6/26/12)
• Snakes in the grass (6/26/12)
• I find myself at a loss for words (6/27/12)
• Oh yes she did (6/27/12)
• I don't see any f'ing dinosaurs people (6/27/12)
• I am big in Asia (6/28/12)
• Carreon Luggage (6/28/12)
• What does it take to get in this family? (6/29/12)
• Know thy enemy (6/30/12)
• It's all in the apostrophe (6/30/12)
• I donate because I care (7/1/12)
• Clarification (7/1/12)
• I write this from an undisclosed location (7/1/12)
• It hurts (7/2/12)
• A break from character. Part 2 (7/2/12)
• Donna Barstow (7/3/12)
• Wait a second here ... (7/3/12)
• Be Heard Part 1 (7/3/12)
• Charles Carreon vs. the Illuminati (7/3/12)
• Oops (7/3/12)
• Independence Day (7/4/12)
• A question. (7/4/12)
• From the director's chair (7/5/12)
• Donna Barstow interview (7/6/12)
• Democracy! (7/7/12)
• Rapeutation (7/7/12)
• Date Rapeutation (7/8/12)
• Oh no, she bought more ammo ... (7/8/12)
• Be Heard Part 2 (7/8/12)
• Bang? (7/9/12)
• A business guide to trademarks on the internet (7/10/12)
• How many times do I have to win? (7/10/12)
• I have a dream (7/11/12)
• Viva La Raza! (7/11/12)
• I am an expert because I say so (7/11/12)
• Did I ever tell you about the time (7/12/12)
• Wikipedia is Mafia (7/12/12)
• I am not a hypocrite (7/13/12)
• A cave. A man. A cloning machine. (7/14/12)
• Captain Obvious is obviously ... (7/15/12)
• The clock tolls at midnight (7/16/12)
• Get Dave! (7/17/12)
• Dave Thomas Writes In (7/17/12)
• Be Heard III (7/18/12)
• Be Heard IV (7/18/12)
• Illuminati Propoganda (7/20/12)
• Goodbye (7/21/12)
• The conspiracy continues (7/21/12)
• WordPress is part of the Nazi conspiracy (7/23/12)
• Jack Daniel's needs new representation (7/23/12)
• Often imitated never duplicated (7/25/12)
• Be Heard V (7/26/12)
• SMISH, SMIDS, and Smurfs. (7/27/12)
• All charity is scam. AKA Relinquish your money to I. (7/28/12)
• Guest Blog! (7/30/12)
• The People Rise Up! (8/1/12)
• Down Under (8/3/12)
• Guest Post II (Reposted) (8/5/12)
• Ken the lawyer (8/9/12)
• I am running for President (8/18/12)
• Travis Tygart and Kickball (8/24/12)
• Matthew Inman has raised 1 million dollars. (8/30/12)
• Nazi Fighting Dinosaurs (9/4/12)
• This is how I thug (9/6/12)
• My letter to my new guest post author! (9/12/12)
• What if they have a T-Rex? (9/17/12)
• Bow Before My Lawness (9/27/12)
• Does Anyone Have An Airplane? (10/19/12)
• TO: Craig Brittain RE: I hate Ken Popehat too! (11/1/12)
• Guest Post "United Against Ken Popehat" (11/3/12)
• Ghastly Enemies At The Gate (11/27/12)
• I have triumphed! (12/18/12)
• A Chance To Feed My Dinosaurs (1/6/13)
• Jane Perez has a lot of gall (1/9/13)
• Dietz Economics 102B (1/9/13)
• I need more time! (1/20/13)
• Ascension (3/7/13)
• You can't turn shields into swords! (3/21/13)
• Litigation Playwriting (3/22/13)
• Zounds! I am undone! (4/12/13)
• Fluoride (4/12/13)
• Amy's Baking Company (5/15/13)
• I have more enemies than you have Facebook friends (7/18/13)
• Comments (All time)
• Ask Charles
• Be Heard
It seems anyone can pretend to be a lawyer nowadays.
2. I do not place ads on this domain or request to do commerce on it. I have had multiple offers to monetize this blog within the first 3 days of it’s existence. I have and will reject them all.
3. I think using someone else’s name to promote your goods or services is amoral.
4. I want you to be mean to my character, don’t hold back.
-- Christopher Recouvreur
While dining not long ago with a scientist who probes the workings of the brain, I enjoyed hearing about the intellectual exploits of his three-year-old daughter, clearly the apple of her Daddy's eye. I enjoyed his stories, that is, until we got to dinosaurs.
"She can recognize all the names when she sees them on the computer screen: Tyrannosaurus Rex, Brontosaurus, whatever -- and she matches them right up to the pictures'" he said happily. "The program we got her even teaches about what each one ate, and whether they could fly, and all kinds of stuff. It's amazing!"
I didn't say what was really on my mind at that point . . . something like, "I'm sure that will be really useful for her when she takes her first course in paleontology." Being something of a wimp in the presence of those who spend their days rooting around in other people's brains, I only said,
"And how long did it take her to learn all this?"
"Oh, she loves her computer. She spends a lot of time at it. When my wife and I are busy we would much rather see her there than watching TV. At least we know she's doing something educational."
"Does your little girl ever just play -- by herself, or with other little kids?"
"Oh, sure." He thought for a moment. "But she really loves that computer! Isn't it wonderful how much they can learn at this age?"
"What do you think that computer is doing to her brain?" I asked.
He paused. "You know," he said slowly, "I never thought about it. I really haven't a clue."
-- Endangered Minds: Why Children Don't Think, and What We Can Do About It, by Jane M. Healy, Ph.D.