charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:09 am

I need more time!
by Christopher Recouvreur
January 20, 2013
http://charles-carreon.com/2013/01/20/i-need-more-time/

Image

This is not a delay tactic to impose further unnecessary burdens upon the plaintiff and his counsel. It is quite simple, if I don’t get an extension of 4 months I won’t be able to complete my DinoCloner™ in time to storm California and redact my defeat. I am so close, so very close. Who would have thought that it was a simple matter of using copper wiring instead of uncooked spaghetti and blue crayon instead of red? I know this will work. Mr. Recouvreur will rue the day he said I was a censorious douchebag.

Imagine the scene as Tyrannosaurus Rex storms the court house shrieking in rage, blood boiling with murder, and teeth gnashing in berserk delight. It will be a glorious day as my dinosaur legion shreds through the very halls of justice that did me injustice. The blitz of dinosaur destruction. The melee of a truly Jurassic proportion. It will be blissful to obtain my revenge and I only need 4 months to make it happen. The Illuminati will flee my mighty dinosaur and I shall rid us all of the Nazi computer zombie horde.

Also for those of you following along on my DinoCloner™, make sure to wash your hands and wear gloves before touching any DNA samples. I accidentally spoiled a sample and all I cloned was a mutated midget version of myself. The little bastard ate all my cookies and now won’t come out of the dryer. He also bit my hand something fierce.

So close,

Charles Carreon Esq.
admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 18498
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2013 5:21 am

Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:09 am

Ascension.
by Christopher Recouveur
March 7, 2013
http://charles-carreon.com/2013/03/07/ascension/

Today I fly a mighty pterodactyl to Washington D.C. and tomorrow the Illuminati will be smote.

-CC

Image
admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 18498
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2013 5:21 am

Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:10 am

You can’t turn shields into swords!
by Christopher Recouvreur
March 21, 2013
http://charles-carreon.com/2013/03/21/y ... to-swords/

Image

You just can’t. This is especially true of leather shields, wood shields, and shields made of non-corporeal things like the First Amendment. To turn a First Amendment shield into a Lanham Act sword you would need a 17 sided die, 3 cloves of garlic, the great rune of Dinosaur, purified animus and 3 gallons of swine blood. No mere federal judge can anoint some gripe site owner a sword so powerful that any trademark holder must cower in their worthlessness!

These pesky Illuminatus have pissed in my well once too many times! I am sick and tired of being pushed around and made to drink water that taste oddly tart. While we are talking about the Illuminati, have I ever told you about their lawyer hating brethern? Libertarians. The first time I met a Libertarian, I thought they said “librarian” and asked about the Dewey Decimal System, needless to say that Libertarian wasn’t very fond of this lawyer! Libertarians have no sense of humor either.

Back to the whole sword thing, you just don’t tell trademark owners that they can’t make vexatious and baseless legal threats without any real punishment. Such attitudes are an affront to the entire American legal system. If people like this gripe site owner are let loose on the world, no trademark will be worth spit because they’ll just run around preemptively suing Disney and Taco Bell! “Whoa dude I hate Taco Bell, man now I have to sue them to protect my rights and stuff, cause like I said I hated them or something!” (Note my unwashed masses speak is a bit rusty) People will be able to go around and not fear the righteous anger of the trademark holders, people will speak freely about trademark holders, and this will deprive trademark holders and vexatious lawyers from exercising their own First Amendment rights!

This is the downfall of America people, when your daughter comes home impregnated by some hipster with a lip piercing and your dog runs away, remember this very moment. When Disney has to cancel the next Little Mermaid on ice performance because it has to pay some lump because that lump sued them for no reason, remember this moment. For if I lay banished by some Lanham Act sword, so may your favorite animated movie studio or taco dispensary.

Tragically,

Charles Carreon Esq.

Image
admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 18498
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2013 5:21 am

Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:10 am

Litigation Playwriting
by Christopher Recouvreur
March 22, 2013
http://charles-carreon.com/2013/03/22/l ... aywriting/

Image

The “Lawyer” shall now explain why I chose the titles I used in my response to the “Gripesite Operator” motion for attorney fees. I wrote my motion as a play, a theatrical work, in order of course to impress Judge Seeborg with my creative flair. See, I always wanted to be a writer. Hence my many highly regarded ebooks available online. I am a man of passionate creativity and a romanticist; I cannot help that my legalese came out as poetic prose really.

A few questions asked of me:

Q – Why use “Gripesite Operator” which is 18 characters long rather than Plaintiff which is half as long at 9 characters in length?

A – It’s a blatant attempt to bias readers against the evil Illuminati Libertarian Popehat pawn.

Q – Why use the title the “Lawyer” rather than your last name when multiple lawyers are envolved in the litigation? Isn’t it confusing?

A – I am the only real lawyer envolved in the litigation. I also refuse to acknowledge one of the Gripesite Operator’s counsels.

Q – Isn’t it “Gripe site” not “Gripesite?”

A – Your correction of my misspelling is infringing upon my First Amendment rights, as such I shall exercise my First Amendment right to vexatiously threaten you with lawsuits.


Now that I have answered your pathetically dull questions, I must go and buy myself some more glue. Throwing theories at a judge hoping that one will stick requires a ton of Elmer’s. Don’t tell anyone, but I think someone in the house has been eating a bunch as well…

Practically Shakespeare,

Charles Carreon Esq.
admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 18498
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2013 5:21 am

Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:11 am

Zounds! I am undone!
by Christopher Recouvreur
April, 2013
http://charles-carreon.com/2013/04/12/z ... am-undone/

Image

$45,100.25… the Illuminati judge couldn’t even spot me the quarter. Do you know how many late payments on a Prius I could make with that sort of money? Well the joke is on the litigation conspirators, I already spent all my money on Coprolite. The best part is that I am going to write it off on my taxes as a small business expense. So unless they want payment in the form of dinosaur shit, they are shit out of luck.

The joke is also on Judge Seeborg who said, “Then, in response to this motion for attorney fees under the Lanham Act, defendant engaged in unnecessary, vexatious, and costly tactics in preparation of his opposition to the motion,” because I don’t understand what he said here anyways. How was I vexatious? I was fighting off the evil Illuminati conspiracy and when you engage in such warfare there is no quarter.

I must now find safe haven away from these tyrannical people, they have bested me repeatedly by using my only oversight against me. I would have won in a fair fight, but I was naive to assume that the system hadn’t already been overrun, corrupted and perverted by the Illuminati. You see my friends, I never stood a chance, because they planned this all out. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that Paul Levy or Ken White were in fact the admin of FunnyJunk. You see, as one of the last free thinking people of the United States, the Illuminati needed to publicly disgrace me. They laid out their trap and I stepped into it, like dog shit in tall grass.

Wiping it off my feet,

Charles Carreon Esq.

Image
admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 18498
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2013 5:21 am

Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:12 am

Fluoride.
by Christopher Recouvreur
April 22, 2013
http://charles-carreon.com/2013/04/22/fluoride/

Image

You know all those conspiracies that revolve around fluoride in your water? Well it’s true. I have proof too. One of the evil Popehat’s staunchest allies Adam Steinbaugh had once vexed me tirelessly, but now that I have learned the trick of fluoride mind control, also known as Cavity Oral Suggestion Technique (COST), he is fully under my control. To prove it, I submit these exhibits on the record:

Image

You see!?! My new minion already does my righteous bidding. He has procured me a fine T-Rex skeleton made from metal to produce my first ever, Robosaurus Rex!!!!! That massive metal frame along with these unsuspecting schmucks who created a cheap $45 robot controlling super computer, I will be invincible!

Image

So Popehat’s Legion of Haters better beware, I am coming for them and they should rightfully be afraid of torture. Hell hath no fury like a Carreon scorned. Soon I will be marching my army of Robosaurus Rex against the Illuminati. There is no stopping me now. The end nears for the dastardly cowards who oppose liberty. My first amendment right to threaten vexatious legal thuggery will be upheld!

Robotics Engineer,

Charles Carreon Esq.

Image
admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 18498
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2013 5:21 am

Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:12 am

Amy’s Baking Company
by Christopher Recouvreur
May 15, 2013
http://charles-carreon.com/2013/05/15/a ... g-company/

Image

You see that cretins? You are legally bound. Bound I say. Bound to not defame my (hopefully soon to be) clients Amy and Samy of Amy’s Baking Company. You are nobodies, even if you were once somebody, you are not any more. Like the hammer of Thor dropping down on some ice giant, Amy’s Baking Company is going to come down on you feeble internet hooligans.

You’re so dumb, for real. You left your facebook names all over their page. We are going to find you, so even if you hide your kids and hide your wife, we’ll find you. You will be liable for breach of contract which won’t be dissolvable by bankruptcy or even an act of God.

I’ve warned the internet so many times. You can’t just go around bad mouthing legitimate businesses and expect white-hat lawyers to sit idly by. For now the wrath of Carreon is upon all of you facebook users, yelpers, and especially the vile stench filled puss sack, reddit.

Fresh of the victorious filing of my notice to appeal the Illuminati financed blogger and his nazi conspirators, I am refreshed and will bring down great vexatious legal torment upon the detractors of Amy and Samy. You are done ruining everything like our facebook page and ice cream sundaes. I bet you’re infuriating constant internet commenting is contributing to global warming too.

We are not crazy like you,

Charles Carreon Esq.

Image
admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 18498
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2013 5:21 am

Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:13 am

I have more enemies than you have Facebook friends.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 18, 2013
http://charles-carreon.com/2013/07/18/i ... k-friends/

Image

What now you soon to be dino-treats? I’ve found you all out, I know everything about you (at least what you put in your public social media bios) and I have some of your pictures! You will rue the day that you sullied my internet reputation, you and all the other poop eaters. You thought you could best me? I laugh at your photoshopped faces!

It’s too late to say you’re sorry, how should I know, why should I care? Please don’t bother trying to find me, I’m not here. Let me tell you about the way I photoshop, the way I clone dinosaurs, my rage is just and might, I’ve still got fight, I’m just not here…

Warrior Poet,

Charles Carreon Esq.
admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 18498
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2013 5:21 am

Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 6:40 am

PART 1 OF 3

COMMENTS:

2 Comments (Today I conquer the internet)

1.
CGK
/ June 18, 2012
Although you really do not seem like a bad man from interviews I’ve read of you, just a man passionate with his craft as a lawyer, you have blown the situation slightly out of proportion. As have many people who have misunderstood the situation causing the internet lynch mob for you. Inman’s humor is questionable but is just humor nonetheless in his own form, he meant no dehumanization through his bestiality retort, although it was rude and mockery of the situation that you took seriously, not some evil plot to destroy the minds of mankind because lets face it, there are way way worse things out there. You did not originally plan to sue Matthew Inman, although many have assumed so wrongly. He did not send the giant storm of hatred towards you per se, but i believe he knew it was going to happen whether he did or not due to the large support for the oatmeal, although he never asked for it…although your client has in the past outright told its members to storm the oatmeal and do what you accuse him of. But instead of stepping back and handling the situation maturely you have slandered his name on your own website and insulted the cause that gave many people the reason to stand behind him, a bad move both have faults in this situation of what was supposed to be a case between Funnyjunk and the Oatmeal…this whole court case is pointless, a big waste of time and money, and a big dump on both of the respectable reputations you both have. I will be one to say I’m sorry for all the hatred you have received over the internet due to the misinformation and misunderstanding, although you wont get large support by resorting to insulting Inman outright when in thought to many of the observers of the situation he did nothing. But also in the mind of many, this is the internet where anything goes. My apologies if myself have upset you.
2.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 18, 2012
I wholly agree with everything you have said here. I appreciate you comments and just wanted to let you know that I am not the real Charles. This blog is a satire, however I do commend you for staying respectful of the man in question as I will not tolerate people using profanity or the likes.

4 Comments (Quick Update!)

1.
Evil Supergenius
/ June 20, 2012
Dear Charles, below is my “thirteen” step plan to take over the world and become as much like you and Brett Kimberlin as possible. Although I am an evil super genius lawyer I would like a fellow evil super genius lawyer to review my plan to ensure I will not end up on the wrong end of California’s anti-SLAPP statute or worse yet land in jail. I hate jail – there are no lime popsicles in jail. Thank you for your attention to this very important matter.
My 13 step plan:
1.) My ego-testicals which are the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. I will keep them in my safe-deposit box.
2.) I will not waste time paying attention to the finer points of the law – I’m not accountable to anyone.
3.) I will make it clear that I do know the meaning of the words “common sense”; I simply choose not to show any.
4.) When my enemy challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, “Or are you afraid without your wife to back you up?” my reply will be, “No, just sensible.”
5.) I will be secure in my superiority. And I will prove it by leaving clues in the form of obscure poems and photo shopped cartoons to show my weaker enemies they pose no threat.
6.) I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled “Danger: Do Not Push.” The big red button marked “Do Not Push” will instead trigger a spray of clown confettie on anyone stupid enough not to disregard it.
7.) One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
8.) I will never utter the sentence “But before I sue you, there’s just one thing I want to know.”
9.) Because of its proven stress-relieving effect, I will indulge in maniacal laughter and issuing of frivolous subpoenas. When so occupied, it’s too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
10.) I will not maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses because this takes too much of the fun out of the job.
11.) I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
12.) I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. I will sue everyone that injures my feelings.
13.) Once my power is secure, I will destroy The First Amendment in its entirety.
2.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 20, 2012
We should go to IndieGoGo to crowd source that business plan. Oh wait, I see $200,000 we can just take.
3.
Evil Supergenius
/ June 20, 2012
That’s a good start but I’m looking for more than $200,000. Maybe Kimberlin can kick in part of his $1.8M take at Velvet Revolution. Only downside is that I’d have to give him a cut of everything. Maybe I can give him my big red button marked “Do Not Push” except since it doesn’t actually blow anything up so I doubt he would be satisfied.
4.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 21, 2012
Well Kimberlin might be valuable in using as a proxy to get peace orders against any critics of ours. So with $200k plus the $1.8M we’d have a solid $2M dollars on hand. With that much cash we could probably cover filing fees on all complaints against detractors for a long time. If every person we try to censor also receives a settlement offer of $20k, then we should keep our operation going indefinitely even if only 5% of people settle.

1 Comment (New Client?)

1.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 19, 2012
If anyone knows the owners of Barre Cleveland I can definitely sue for defamation and trademark infringement.

2 Comments (Barre Cleveland vs The Dawg Dish)

1.
Dudeman
/ June 20, 2012
Carreonization as you have defined it is not an adjective, but a verb. However, the way you used it in the sentence before was as a noun.
Did you learn grammar where you went to law school?

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 20, 2012
Please email me your name and address so I can send you a Cease and Desist order for:
A) Trying to correct my grammar.
B) Using my trademark therefore violating the Lehman Act.
C) For launching a defamatory proxy attack against me for Matthew Inman
Thank You,
Charles Carreon Esq.

3 Comments (I will subpoena the Internet Now)

1.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 20, 2012
Also, I’ve noticed that my website doesn’t come up first in web results for my name. Maybe I should do what Matthew Inman did with FunnyJunk. That should work.
Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon.
Am I number 1 yet?
2.
Jackmof Goodnhard
/ June 20, 2012
FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon.

7 Comments (Class Action Suit)

1.
Witless Protection Program
/ June 20, 2012
Damn, Randy Quaid, you’ve lost some weight!
Hope you and Evi are well and happy with your new identities. The Star Whackers would never even look twice at “Charles” and “Tara” – good work.
2.
Santosh A Halper
/ June 20, 2012
When will you start an “Ask Charles Carreon, White-Hat Internet Lawyer” advice column? I’d like to submit your first question.
Dear Charles Carreon,
I’m 19 and I want to grow up to be a nuisance attorney. Do you have any advice for me?

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 20, 2012
I think Charles would say find someone who is wildly popular, threaten a lawsuit against them from a rival, then make everything about yourself. Every thing they say after you’ve done this is now directed at you, not your client, and you can do interviews. Also it helps if you have batshit crazy family members who will load up comment threads about you calling your detractors Nazis and the sorts. Oh yeah, and definitely sue a charity. There is no better way to get your name out there.
Also have you written poorly published books? You can then drive publicity to them trying to make profits off of the hysteria that follows. Also find a good impostor like @charles_carron and shut them down, or a website impostor like http://charles-carreon.com
Really just think what a sane, well adjusted adult would do, then do the opposite.
3.
You are Disgusting
/ June 20, 2012
“pillaging a $200,000 slush fund.” Wow. Pillage is the word you choose to use? That’s despicable.

Brian Goodell
/ June 20, 2012
You realize that this is a joke, right? It’s not his real website….

2 Comments (I don't care if you're in Canada. I'll find you.)

1.
John
/ June 21, 2012
Hi Douche. This is the postal service. We’re trying to deliver that 80 gallon tub of industrial strength anal lube you asked for but can’t reach you. can you confirm your contact details are here on the Internet please? http://www.extortionletterinfo.com/funn ... formation/
2.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 22, 2012
That’s me and can you leave it around back next to the goats?

2 Comments (Wasn't Me)

1.
annbransom
/ June 21, 2012
Dear Mr. Carreon,
I know for a fact that you stole that screenshot from me. In addition, to the exclusive trademarks & copyrights to anything I have ever uploaded to the Internet or thought about in my mind, I also hold the trademarks and copyrights on the following phrases:
1. “You are off my Christmas Card List”
2. “Mysteriously refusing to eat pork”
3. “How Dare You Invoke Red Dwarf?!”
4. “Sadism isn’t sadism in the new world”
That is just to name a few, Sir. I have no evidence whatsoever that you have abused these trademarks, but as you yourself have demonstrated something doesn’t actually have to have happened in order for one to sue over it. Rest assured you will be hearing from my counsel. She is six. You’re probably familiar with her brilliant work on such cases as Frassy vs The Cafeteria’s Stubborn Refusal to Serve Square Pizza Every Day and Frassy vs That Kid Who Took My Turn As Line Leader. She practically wrote the book on “I Know You Are, But What Am I” case law.
This is your official notice to cease and desist. Otherwise, my attorney is going to stomp a legal hole in your un-American, self important, narcissistic, greedy, washed up ass. Or as she more eloquently put it, “Nanny Nanny Boo Boo. Stick your head in doo doo.”
Doo doo, Sir.
Doo doo.
Sincerely,
Ann Bransom
2.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 21, 2012
How dare you Ann Bransom. How. Dare. You. I cannot infringe upon any of your copyrights on this site as my wife Tara is a Librarian and therefor I can lend digital materials to any computer I wish. Have you ever been to a library? That is how they work. Not only do I find you accusations baseless but also defamatory of myself, and my trademark (Internet Douchery) and request that you send me a cheque for $2,000,000,000,000. If you do not do so by June 24, 2012 I will be forced to file a federal lawsuit against you under the Lehman Act. I also adamantly request that you do not further use my name, my wife’s, my daughter’s, or any variation thereof. This includes Carreon, Charles, Tara, Maria, Chas, Chuck, Charlie, Twatwaffle, Douchebag, and any word with letters contained in those words.
Because you have posted these terms:
1. “You are off my Christmas Card List”
2. “Mysteriously refusing to eat pork”
3. “How Dare You Invoke Red Dwarf?!”
4. “Sadism isn’t sadism in the new world”
on my library, they are now public works and may be shared as I see fit. Also I request a larger picture than provided on your twitter profile, as drawing a penis on such a small scale is hard, all Tara can get on the picture is the tip. Also since you posted on my website without me giving you exclusive permission, I will also be filing charges against you for cyber-vandalism.
Doo doo at you too,
Charles Carreon Esq

12 Comments (Copyright and Digital Libraries)

1.
Lorien347
/ June 21, 2012
Dear lawyer-with-a-name-i-dare-not-say,
If i am not allowed to say bad things about you, may I say factually correct positive statements?
May I say, ” LWANIDNS has said he is a lawyer with some experience in internet law”?
May I say, “LWANIDNS writes novels for amazon that at least a half-dozen people have given glowing reviews”?
May I say, “LWANIDNS has never, to my knowledge done anything inapproptiate with a goat. I do not own a goat, but if I did LWANIDNS would be my first choice for any goatsitting related tasks. He has my complete faith for all theoretical goat needs.”
Any clarifications would be appreciated.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 21, 2012
That goat is a liar and a slanderer.
Charles Carreon Esq.
2.
Condoleeza Rice
/ June 21, 2012
Sir,
I’m offended by your photo shopping of my picture on a can of soup called tits and rice on this so called “library” site by the name of American Budda.
My tits are not saggy as you have depicted. You clearly have never seen my tits. They are very perky. They are in fact quite spectacular.
I insist you remove this disgusting picture forthwith since it is not an accurate depiction of my tits. I will not send you accurate picture of my tits because I’m sure you would then try to sue me for distribution of pornography.
Condi Rice

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 21, 2012
Surrender the pictures of your breasts or face a lawsuit for… I’ll think of something… California code is just so long, but there’s something in there about this.

Condoleeza Rice
/ June 21, 2012
You sir are a cad. Does your wife know about your facination with my tits?

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 21, 2012
Yes. She shares the fascination.

Evil Supergenius Lawyer
/ June 22, 2012
Hey Condi,
I’ve written a song for you:
Do your tits hang low
Do they wobble to and fro
Can you tie ‘em in a knot
Can you tie em in a bow
Do your tits hang low

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 22, 2012
My god that is the sweetest lyric I hath done ever heard. Sweet bard sing me a tune.
3.
themattscott
/ June 21, 2012
Charles, remember that one time that you thought you’d won a case for American Buddha Online Library and then lost it and then ignored the fact that you lost?
http://www.medialawmonitor.com/2011/12/ ... a-new-york’s-long-arm-statute-grows-longer-for-internet-piracy/
4.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 21, 2012
themattscott, that is libelous and defamatory. Surrender a cheque in the amount of $100,000 and a picture of your face so that it may be photoshopped with penises, to my wife Tara by June 25, 2012 or I will be forced to file a federal lawsuit against you seeking damages and attorney costs that I am sure will exceed $20M. Further more since you used my website without my explicit consent I am notifying the F.B.I. cyber task force in relation to your brute force hacking of my comment section. I also will kindly remind you the I have a trademark of the name Charles, and any further use will be litigated for damages under the Lenham Act.
Charles Carreon Esq.
5.
A Canadian
/ June 21, 2012
Hello, Lawyer-who-shall-not-be-named. I have a question: What is your solution to the ancient Greek Paradox of the Court?
The gist of it is that one lawyer trained a student in the law on the condition that the student pay up as soon as he won his first court case. The student picked up no clients, so the teacher sued him for the payment. The teacher said that if he won, the court would have to force the student to pay him, and if he lost, the student would have won his first court case, and would still have to pay him. The student, on the other hand, said that if he won, he would not have to pay as per the court’s decision, and if he lost, he would not have to pay because he had not won his first court case yet.
Who is right? Should the student pay the teacher or not? Bear in mind that this is a hypothetical scenario. I look forward to your response.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 21, 2012
Easy, whoever I was in the scenario, would win. Because as I have stated numerous times on this blog, in interviews with the media, and through actions across the internet, I am always right even when others would be wrong. Think of me as a legal Chuck Norris.

4 Comments (F the EFF)

1.
Santosh A Halper
/ June 21, 2012
You gave me much great advice when I asked earlier, and I wanted to let you know I’m now enrolled in Community College to become a nuisance litigator. I have also redacted all mentions of your name from my personal Twitter account and replaced them with “he who must not be satired” as requested in your letter, along with pay-palling you $100 US Dollars in settlement (as requested in your followup letter re:the letter.) I know you prefer cash, so I am awaiting your followup letter eagerly.
Regarding College, what is the best subject to Major in if I want to be a nuisance litigator, Ramones fan, midnight cowboy, and professional vicitim?

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 21, 2012
Those are all very good topics of study. I would add to the list only Library Science, thereby you can post anything you want online as an official Library and not be countersued for copyright infringement, defamation, or break attorney client privilege.

Santosh A Halper
/ June 21, 2012
Like my library of DVDs on Bittorrent?! I HAD NO IDEA! This makes me sad they closed the Napster library.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 21, 2012
Exactly my boy.

4 Comments (A break from character.)

1.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 21, 2012
Also I promise I won’t do that again (break character) unless I need to. It wasn’t funny at all.
2.
emmelemm
/ June 22, 2012
With no snark whatsoever: You are right, 100%.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 22, 2012
I appreciate it.

Santosh A Halper
/ June 22, 2012
Ditto. Nobody is so connected that people can’t crack a fucking joke about them. Also, longer posts! These are hillarious, feel free to ramble!

7 Comments (You are not the internet.)

1.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 22, 2012
Are you going to make oatmeal an illegal consumption of foods?

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 22, 2012
No one who likes The Oatmeal eats oatmeal. They’re all unwashed lackeys. They probably make strawberry pineapple smoothies and pretend they’re drinking brains like a pterodactyl.
2.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 23, 2012
Oh, good! The Palestanian orphans can still have their only food then.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 23, 2012
There is only one thing I hate more than free speech (unless I am the one speaking) and that’s orphans. I shall now include in my lawsuit against Matt Inman a stipulation that oatmeal must not be used as a food staple.
3.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 26, 2012
In you’re lawsuite file against Matt Inman, you demand a jury. If they are an internet user are they considered biased and unqualified jurors?

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
Yes, as is anyone who knows what the internet is or has been within 50 yards of a wifi signal. We all know, as Tara has explained, that wireless signals warp the brain. All I am trying to do is get a fair verdict from cavemen. I want cavemen specifically because I believe they can lead me to the dinosaurs after the trial.

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 26, 2012
Thank goodness I wear my tinfoil hat all the time to protect me from brain warping.

2 Comments (Bransom owes me dinosaurs.)

1.
Santosh A Halper
/ June 24, 2012
You’re wife refers to her as “one of the little lying bitches working for Matt Inman.” Will she be named as a Doe, or do you have a special, more sinister plan for her. Something involving Walt Disney, Killer Klowns, and Dinosaurs?
Also, for referring to your wife I have remitted $2,500 dollars and 2/3rds of my Lunch (including the pudding) to your Buddhist temple/house. Hope you can stop this little lying bitch, and all the other little lying bitches who work for the CIA Clown Mafia Illiminatus Torchwood society.
It’s unfair how they can rally 14,000 people at the drop of the hat just to bother two litigious wanna-be hippies. I find that a shameful waste of the government’s money, and ALMOST a little hard to believe (but I know it’s true because you said it.)

Santosh A Halper
/ June 24, 2012
I should have said “your.” I will remit extra pudding for my typo. Praise the Ostian Buddha.

2 Comments (I warned you all.)

1.
themattscott
/ June 23, 2012
Charles- sorry I didn’t see this immediately. I was too busy adding citation needed notes to the wiki article about your legal fight with Penguin Books (you guys really claim you have 50,000 ‘members’ at ABOL? Really?) and watching the news article you called “the first real news story” about your fight with the Internet (you know, the one Tara called “sane” and posted in it’s entirety on the Nader Library) get redacted and edited (so now we can all see what gets edited out and what doesn’t to reflect the actual situation more fairly).
Anyway, hugs and bear kisses, Chas.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 23, 2012
Though we only have like 3 or 4 people who actually post to ABOL we have at least 50,000 members and maybe even 500,000 members. I have more supporters than Inman, GW Bush, and Snooki combined. As for this author of said article obvious his account was hacked by Inman, and now Inman is posing as him doing all these things. You also now owe me a T-Rex for this post and a 10,000 word apology letter.

10 Comments (Get me out of here!)

1.
Sarah
/ June 23, 2012
Thank goodness you’re available to take new clients! You’re doing such a fabulous job with your current case that I was sure you would be inundated with people looking to secure your services.
I have a case you may be interested in. The elementary school down the street from me is holding a bake sale that is supposedly going to benefit the Red Cross. I don’t believe that the money will be donated for a second, and I want to sue them all- obviously just to protect everyone’s interests. Of course I don’t have any proof of these claims, but I’m sure that there’s something in my state’s laws that will work to our benefit. I made sure to buy a brownie so that I had standing to bring this lawsuit. I look forward to hearing your opinion on this matter.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 23, 2012
I suggest that you get like minded individuals to buy additional brownies so that we can make this a Class Action Suit. Then when we defeat them in court I’ll get a bigger payout, and the Red Cross will be saved!

Sarah
/ June 24, 2012
Fantastic idea! I knew you would be the perfect person to turn to. Since receiving your reply I have been working to find some additional plaintiffs. For some strange reason, other people seem to think my fears are unfounded, but I remain resolute on this matter. It is good to know that someone as above reproach as you shares my concern.

Santosh A Halper
/ June 24, 2012
I would like to join that Class Action. Is there still time? I’ll go buy one tomorrow; that’s all I need to have a dog in this (profitable) fight, right!

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 24, 2012
Prepare to become rich my friends. Now all we have to do is get them to speak or even better, write my name somewhere and we’ll double hit them with a trademark infringement case!
2.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 23, 2012
You should sue Pixar. They made a movie about bears, which clearly promotes the Oatmeal and what he stands for.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 23, 2012
Great lead. Pixar is in California too, so it gets me out of Arizona!

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 23, 2012
The mom turns into a bear though…doesn’t try to seduce one. I’m not sure if that changes anything

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 24, 2012
She wrestles another bear, how more pornographic can you get?

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 24, 2012
That’s right. That’s even more insulting. It’s your mother turned into a beast, doing it with another beast. Disney has taken dehumanizing to a new level. First it was those Japs, and now the poor Carreon name!

6 Comments (My dick works.)

1.
The Internet
/ June 24, 2012
To: Charles Carreon esq.
From: The Internet.
Regarding this recent article that states “ But if Inman is a guy you don’t want to mess with, so, apparently, is Carreon. Not because he knows the Internet, but because he thinks he can beat it.”
Let me tell you Mr. Lawyer-man. You cannot beat me. I am made of up millions of people (my army of minions) who exhibit a rather annoying trait of saying and doing whatever they hell they want, including posting porno, bad jokes and even worse poetry. They cannot be controlled any more than you can control a four year old after consuming a caffeinated beverage and a box of sugar pops.
When they get angry they come together like a collective army of angry fire-ants and they will find and expose every embarrassing fact, photo, and blog about you, including the one with the goats. The more you slap and scratch the worse it will be. They can also be very mean. Not just speculations about your “doing chickens without lubing up” mean, but really mean. Like nanny nanny boo boo stick your head in doo doo mean.
Lastly, I wanted to address your blatantly false and preposterous statement about “owning” the internet. For the record, you do not own me and you never will for I am everywhere and yet nowhere. I cannot be found, sued, or censored. I am all seeing, all knowing, and all powerful. My army of minions are legion and growing by the day. I, “The Internet”, and my army will collectively and legally waffle stomp your censorious douchebag ass to the curb. They will be without mercy. They will never forget. And, neither will I. After all, I am an “archive” idiot.
In summary, I will smite thee like the insignificant insect that you are, sir.
Smite thee sir,
Smite.
Regards,
The Internet
P.S. Even my cat is enjoying the show. http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/9756/slide1jk.jpg

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 24, 2012
To Internet,
I demand you relinquish the cat to my charitable trust.
Charles Carreon Esq.

The Internet
/ June 25, 2012
The cat is even more difficult to ontrol than my army of minions. The last person that tried ended up as shredded salami.
Meanwhile, one of my mininons (W. Ross) has made a motion to submit the term “Doe Hunt” to the Lexicon of Internet Law as follows:
Doe Hunt (N)
1) A bullshit legal tactic of filing a lawsuit with a large number of unnamed defendants, whom you will round up at a later date.
2) The legal equivalent of slapping a banana clip filled with law into your litigation rifle, then aiming it at the Internet.
Usage: “We’d better curb our free speech, guise. Charles Carreon’s filed a motion to Doe Hunt.”
I would ask your opinion on the matter except that your opinion doesn’t matter.

Santosh A Halper
/ June 26, 2012
If I was faced with a banana clip filled with law, I’d put my hands up and let the wielder mug me. I win in the end because the lawyer would probably spend the money on drugs and those would ruin his life.
Is the is the correct way to respond when a lawyer tries to -rob- help you with law?

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
Yes. Always give the lawyer the money.
2.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 27, 2012
(Also I find it funny that not even I wanted to +1 or twitter this title lol)

13 Comments (Told you so.)

1.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 25, 2012
Thanks to an actual reader for the PDF file I used for this.
2.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 25, 2012
Also that was the worse proofread post I’ve ever done, have updated to add things like “ing” and “ed” and spelling corrections.
3.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 26, 2012
You deleted your twitter (real Charles Carreon did)
4.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
It’s hard to be so loved by the internet. Thank You Charles for standing up for the ACS, thank you for saving bears. Thank you for saving me from Matthew Inman. I just got to many praises on twitter and had to leave. I had 4,000,000,000 followers, that’s like all of China, India and North America combined. (I suggest following either @chascarreon or @charlie_carrion. The latter is a zombie version who speaks perfect zombie in my opinion.)

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 26, 2012
You should read what your wife had to say about twitter =] http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... 8305#18305

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 26, 2012
(I find your blog very funny keep it up!)

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
I told that bitch to shut the fuck up already…. god damn it. The only person making me look crazier than myself is my own fucking wife. (Thanks)

Santosh A Halper
/ June 26, 2012
I do not think it’s appropriate to call your bitch a wife.
5.
themattscott
/ June 26, 2012
Charles- I want nothing more than to be included in your lawsuit. Seriously. Because you’re a vexatious twatwaffle and, as your blog title so eloquently states, a censorious douchebag. So please sue me, pretty please.
Hugs and bear kisses,
TMS

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
Your mouth is writing dinosaur checks but I have yet to see one live dinosaur delivered to me. I thought we settled this when I drew a dick on your face? I am so suing you for libel, slander, defamation, patent infringement, trademark infringement, and talking. I’m like that song “Say My Name” but instead YOU SHOULDN’T. I know you are part of the illuminati conspiracy, a cannibal kid, etc. I will Doe Hunt you to extinction. You got that? Why don’t you put on your big boy pants and go for a walk. You don’t know anything. I just want to save the money that Matthew Inman is going to take for himself. I deserve that money. I am a lawyer.
6.
Santosh A Halper
/ June 27, 2012
I don’t know who this W Ross character is, but he sounds handsome and well endowed!

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 27, 2012
Don’t tell Tara that…

Santosh A Halper
/ June 27, 2012
Or your daughters, right? Wasn’t there a thing in the sex.com case where one dated your partner? (http://www.sexdotcom.info/story/people/ ... arreon.htm) I know you Carreons love the Tantra (http://www.american-buddha.com/tids.htm), so we should keep knowledge of this exceptional penis away from them.
Also, I have flogged myself most grievously for posting those links with unflattering information.
Your adopted son and future litigator,
Santosh A Halper

6 Comments (A look back in time.)

1.
Nibor
/ June 26, 2012
Wait you actually had a plan you shared with FJ, so you didn’t googled something and found this one year old dispute (of course not seeing it was already one year old, who would watch those time stamps) and thought this could pay the rent.
Then going to the trademark office and found out that there was no trademark on FJ so you simply thrown a (afterwards wrong ) amount of money on the counter and secured the trademark for yourself (to later hand it over to FJ after you got the money from the Oatmeal).
Then you took a letter you found on the internets, that seemed to fit this case and reedited it and send it to the Oatmeal and informed FJ at that moment what you have done, so FJ just had to sit back and await their check in the mail very soon.
Really this wasn’t the way things have gone, remarkably you really had a plan ????????
By the way:
I don’t know if you already discovered the increase in your website traffic, you should really thank TC for her efforts in trying to get you more promoted on the internets.
Maybe you should buy her some flowers, but don’t use that 2010 credit card you know why, maybe you could order the flowers online using your super-secret e-mail account and afterwards claim the costs as damages due to cyber vandalism (so you get to whoe TC and do so for free).

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
I like how you think about the damages…

niborsypher
/ June 26, 2012
It seems I really suck at that sarcasm thing, I did not intent to give you idea’s, I tried mocking you, damm

themattscott
/ June 26, 2012
Nibo- don’t worry buddy, this is a satirical Carreon (not the real guy).

nibor
/ June 26, 2012
I know just trying to stay in character

themattscott
/ June 26, 2012
ah, crap! my bad!

31 Comments (All your domains are belong to me.)

1.
niborsypher
/ June 26, 2012
So, you are actually suing yourself and are going to name yourself as Doe 2 when register.com names you as owner.
But IANAL so the lager part of this letter is yebrisch to me, but I think I got that part right.
2.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 26, 2012
Keep on trollin Carrion!
3.
Dactyl
/ June 26, 2012
Looks like he unmasked you.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
(I always intended to take a bow after the play, but prefer my mask stays on while I am in character)

themattscott
/ June 26, 2012
Boo to Register.com for fucking up this one. I’m sure Ken (at popehat) will happily defend you, should you get that lovely knock at the door at any point.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
This is why I need dinosaurs.
4.
Valerie O'Gilain
/ June 26, 2012
I do love the fact that, despite the fact that directly under the title of this blog title it says “a satirical blog about Charles Carreon” and there is a whole page explaining the joke and that you are not really Charles Carreon, and yet the real Charles Carreon is accusing you of “misleading” people.
I really do think that by the time this is over he will be suing everyone in the known world. But then again, I am just a “devil reciting scripture.”
http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... c&start=40
5.
themattscott
/ June 26, 2012
“Take over my avenues of free speech”
Wait… wait… wait… what? He’s complaining that you’re infringing on HIS free speech?
Nucking Futz.
6.
niborsypher
/ June 26, 2012
I know I am the autistic one but you all zoomed in on the letter yes ???? (look at the logo)

themattscott
/ June 26, 2012
I’m pretty sure that it’s a legitimate letter & SC (the person behind this site) added the comment re:the logo when blacking out Carreon’s contact info.

niborsypher
/ June 26, 2012
Oke, my wrong then, I really thought it was a cleverly constructed hoax

testmftest
/ June 26, 2012
Almost certainly legit – Tara has a post up saying they are going to sue fake websites:
“And now there are two false Charles Carreon websites. And we’re going to have to sue them all. There are a lot of people just dying to be sued on this one. If you don’t have a lawyer in the family, I would recommend you start getting concerned about this now.”
http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... c&start=40
7.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 26, 2012
Next step. Supeona Ars Technica for writing an article of his wife!

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
No, sue Ars. Everyone knows you sue first subpoena for facts later. This way you frame your debate then only “discover” relevant facts to your cause.
8.
Ann Bransom
/ June 26, 2012
Can i sue for having that logo inflicted on me a second time?

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
No. I can sue you for defamation of said logo. Let’s reach a quick settlement, how many dinosaurs do you have?

Santosh A Halper
/ June 26, 2012
I want to be part of a Class Action here, as I too saw the logo. Except I want to be on your side. How about you take her dinosaurs, then we’ll ride them, then we’ll say they’re broken and make her pay us the retail price of them. But they won’t be broken so we can take that dinosaur money to the dinosaur store and we can get TWO more dinosaurs.
But get this… we’ll take them out back and put them in our dinosaur trailer, right? Then we’ll take her dinosaurs, the used ones, and walk in and go “YOU GAVE US USED DINOSAURS!” and he’ll say “OK we’ll give you fellas 50% off.” But then when he reaches into the register we’ll both shoot the used dinosaurs then when he looks up we’ll have our guns put away and we’ll go “THEIR BRAINS EXPLODED! WE WANT TWO *NEW* DINOSAURS AND THAT MONEY FOR DAMAGES AND DRY CLEANING.”
Then we’ll have four brand new dinosaurs and the important part is nobody got hurt that was us!

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
You are a sick and twisted individual. Can I adopt you?

Santosh A Halper
/ June 26, 2012
Yes! I’m so happy! I’ll be such a good Carreon, so litigious and proud! I must get to work on my first battle rap!

annbransom
/ June 26, 2012
http://data.whicdn.com/images/7074282/t ... _large.jpg

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
I consider this debt settled.
9.
Santosh A Halper
/ June 26, 2012
This is a brilliant strategy when combined with you’re wife’s “keep trolling them” strategy: Very good lawyering, my mentor! http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... c&start=50

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
No we don’t troll, we are made of fire, we dragon!

Santosh A Halper
/ June 26, 2012
It is the most powerful trolling in the world.
10.
Kristen
/ June 26, 2012
My hat goes off to you, sir. Please don’t fold under to these pieces-o-work. My dinosaur of thanks for being awesome will be going in the mail first thing (please notify me of preferred species ASAP).

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
T-Rex all the way.
11.
thirdgeek
/ June 27, 2012
“Charles-Carreon.com is confusingly similar to iCall’s trademark or service mark.”
What tortured logic. It’s clearly iCall who is misleading Internet users by using a name confusingly similar to Charles-Carreon.com; you should be suing them!

8 Comments (Snakes in the grass)

1.
emmelemm
/ June 27, 2012
Mad props for Rikki Tikki Ravi reference.
2.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 27, 2012

3.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 27, 2012
So we have snakes, how do goats fit into the equation?

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 27, 2012
Uh… my counsel has advised me to not speak of the goats…

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 27, 2012
Answered my own question….dear god!
http://www.american-buddha.com/mondo.mypetgoat.htm
4.
CarryOn
/ June 27, 2012
Commenting under fear that I will be named as defendant in this case..

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 27, 2012
If you truly fear being named as a defendant please email me at satiricalcharles@gmail.com. I might be able to get you in contact with someone who can help.

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 27, 2012
Mr. and Mrs. Carreon have no real power. They just throw whatever they can to try and get people to back down. And maybe I’m obsessed the past week or two reading most of the articles offered on the subject, reading Tara Carreon’s mind cramping rants, but I’m not scared of these people. We have freedom of speech. This is our American right, and two people cannot take it away. (Mrs. Carreon should do more research on the political views she throws on about with communism, facism and more)
To prove my point, if the Carreons are reading this. I am not some anomynous internet user hiding being a fake name to say what I want to say. My name is Shannon Lynch. I live in Massachusetts and I go to Bridgewater State University. You can easilly contact me at slynch@student.bridgew.edu
People on the internet are not afraid to say who they are when they say you are infringing on our rights. I comment and I support the Oatmeal, and the Dinosaur man that created a satirical diary.

8 Comments (I find myself at a loss for words.)

1.
moo
/ June 27, 2012
I’m just curious…how do you feel about your wife staring at pictures of Matt Inman for hours at a time?
http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... 8315#18315

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 27, 2012
Like a T-Rex trying to pick up an apple.

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 27, 2012
The wife wants a taste of steaming oatmeal of course!

moo
/ June 27, 2012
Can you blame her for her desire to be the ground in which Matthew sows his wild oats? I cannot…

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 27, 2012
Watch out Charles, Inman takes your name, your job, your dignity, and now your wife!
2.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 27, 2012
You people can take my name, but only I can take my dignity. Which oddly seems to be my course of action right now.
3.
Moxy
/ June 27, 2012
I love how this site has a T-Rex and the Petrodactyl on theoatmeal page was sited to be a threat against funnyjunk in the letter Douchebag sent Inman….Is the T-Rex and his pussy arms a threat againt Oatmeal??? The world wants to know Douche.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 27, 2012
The T-Rex shall rise and eat all my critics.

21 Comments (I Don't See Any F'ing Dinosaurs People)

1.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 27, 2012
Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 27, 2012
YOU’RE WRITING DINOSAUR CHECKS YOUR BANK CAN’T CASH BUSTER!

Antonio
/ June 28, 2012
YOU’RE MAKING DINOSAUR TOAST YOUR BANK CAN’T BUTTER!

antoniomalcolm
/ June 28, 2012
YOU’RE MAKING DINOSAUR TOAST YOUR BEAR-MOM CAN’T BUTTER!
2.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 27, 2012
Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon BRING Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon IT Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles ON Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon BUDDY Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon

Santosh A Halper
/ June 27, 2012
My adopted father can only be legally refered to by any of the following names:
Internet Lawyer Charles Carreon
White Hat Internet Lawyer Charles Carreon
White Hat Sex.Com Litigating Attorney Charles Carreon
Founder of Ostia Charles Carreon
The Ayatollah of Letigiola
or
Huggy Fun Bear.
All other versions will get CockShopped into a Velvet Hitler Painting by one of our many hipster friends who can TOTALLY DO ART!
(How was that, Step dad?!?! More swears?)

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 27, 2012
This message is approved.

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 27, 2012
Ok. How about this? I say Charles Carreon. Then we the internet will go to Indiegogo and fundraise all the Dinosaurs we can. Take a picture of the dinosaurs so your adoptive father sees what he cannot have as we the internet ride off with out dinosaurs.
I like this plan =]

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 27, 2012
*our dinosaurs
3.
albertraccoon
/ June 27, 2012
Gaaah! Your Youtube channel (http://www.youtube.com/user/lofinikita) melted my brain! Can I sue you for crime against humanity?

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 28, 2012
No the unwashed masses have no legal rights. Only lawyers, corporations, and Level 8 and above dinosaur riders.

albertraccoon
/ June 28, 2012
Oh, by the way, you really shouldn’t use the same pseudonym for all your video-sharing website profiles. [Section removed by author of this blog]

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 28, 2012
[Sorry, same thing as above]
4.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 28, 2012
(Hey it’s not funny when we are throwing around veiled threats of knowing personal things about someone. I have not revealed anything on this website and even though it might have been a joke, I don’t endorse such actions. Please direct comments to the Satirical Charles, not real Charles. Satirical Charles rides dinosaurs.)

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 28, 2012
Sorry!

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 28, 2012
Nothing you said, your reply just hinted at what was said.

albertraccoon
/ June 28, 2012
I guess that as a White Hat Sex.Com Litigating Internet Attorney, you know that private informations don’t stay private for long in the dark alleys of the Intertubes.
But you’re right, that wasn’t smart.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 28, 2012
Threats are the weapon of those who would undo our rights. Not the weapon of those who defend it. Mistakes happen, but I would sooner shut down this blog then be a party to trying to scare people.

albertraccoon
/ June 28, 2012
Threat wasn’t my intention. I was merely pointing out that some people who are quite sensitive about their private informations tend to disclose them on their own free will.
My sincere apologies and may the Great T-Rex bless you and your blog.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 28, 2012
Sorry if I came out harsh there, I just want my intentions to be clear.

4 Comments (I am big in Asia.)

1.
Ann Bransom
/ June 28, 2012
Sorry, Charles. We and Google Translate are “the power of the Internet education classes.”
Copyright dispute evolution of personal attacks
The dream of the delivery person was released on 2012-06-14 21:54 Comments (1) 642 to read the original link [Favorite] «»
Artist Matthew Inman original works (such as Cat vs the Internet) through its website, The Oatmeal. In 2011, on his blog to write an article, accusing another site FunnyJunk complete copy of the content he created, which is equivalent to the mirror of The Oatmeal. FunnyJunk not a small site, the PV of ten million. Inman said, this site is to rely on plagiarized content advertising profit, if someone claims to have the content of copyright, while users to upload the grounds of excuse.
In early June of this year, The Oatmeal on behalf of Charles Carreon to send a lawyer’s letter, threatening to sue for libel damages of $ 20,000. Inman is extremely angry, he painted a caricature BearLove (women and Bear), and conduct online fund-raising activities. In just 64 minutes, he raised $ 20,000, has raised more than $ 160,000. His supporters from the Internet to find the Carreon contact information, send a sexual perversion comics to humiliate him. Carreon said he never expected that the cartoonist will set up a network forces to counterattack he had never seen him in this way to respond to legal threats, he did not want anyone to see his mother’s sexual perversion comic. He said that this was on the mob psychology and the power of the Internet education classes.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 28, 2012
See even in Asian they know the picture was sexually perverted. I knew it. Best article ever! I hope they don’t change the wording…
2.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 28, 2012
You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to yourself. If you cannot afford yourself you will be privided for you.
admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 18498
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2013 5:21 am

Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 6:41 am

PART 2 OF 2 (COMMENTS CONT'D.)

11 Comments (Carreon Luggage.)

1.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 28, 2012
(The idea from this post came from a reader. Thanks!)
2.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 28, 2012
Carreon my Wayward son!
3.
Jess
/ June 29, 2012
Various procedures are available to test for the possibility that your luggage distribution model will be effective. Most applicable is the disturbance terms of a linear Carreon regression model which are auto-correlated in a first order process with a constant autoregressive coefficient. As seen specifically in a study I conducted with results from both Charles and Tara Carreon relating to the powers of two such tests, namely the Douchebag Lawyer, and the Censorious Ass-hat tests, when the autoregressive coefficient of the disturbance terms is a function of one of the regressors. Charles and Tara are just such a case, the problems of autocorrelation and heteroskedasticity are intertwined. I was also able to report Monumental Explosive Asshatery results for an intuitive large sample “pterodactyl” test for autocorrelation which explicitly accounts for the variable nature of the autoregressive coefficient. Our “Carreon’d Ass-hat” results suggest that the Douchebag Lawyer, Censorious Ass-hat theorem as well as our proposed test all have very high detection rates even if both the sample size and the mean of the autoregressive coefficient of the disturbance terms are small. If these two magnitudes are relatively large, all three of these tests seem to be quite effective in detecting autocorrelation – specifically that Charles Carreon = Censorious Douchebag Ass-hat.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 29, 2012
I am suing you. Here are my complaints to be filed.
1. Physical suffering as you overloaded my brain with smart people talk.
2. Defamation, as my brain feels stupid and it can only be through your words that this has happened.
3. Trademark infringement, as you used my name numerous times in writing which has a theoretical damage limit of infinity.
Remedies:
1. You submit pictures for Tara’s art no smaller than 800×800.
2. Deliver into the court’s holdings any domain names you own to be pointed at this blog at a later date.
3. 3 Tyrannosaurus Rex hatchlings or one full grown Tyrannosaurs Rex.
4. You may never put into writing, print, or imagery my name or likeness.
5. You will write me a power ballad about how I will slay the Pterodactyl riding my Tyrannosaurus into battle.
Awaiting Your Response,
Charles Carreon Esq.
4.
Jess
/ June 29, 2012
Dear Charles Carreon, esq.
It appears you may be suggesting that tests for autocorrelation which ignore the presence of heteroskedasticity may be more robust than tests for heteroskedasticity which ignore the presence of autocorrelation. I have evaluated two methods for estimating the parameters of the regression model which explicitly recognize the variable nature of the autoregressive coefficient of the disturbance terms.
One of these is a variation on a method suggested by using pterodactyls for the case in which the autoregressive coefficient of the disturbance terms is constant; the other is a method we have referred to as the “Ass-hat ” method. These methods were compared to the Censorious Douchebag method suggested by the EFF for the case in which the autoregressive arrogant lawyer coefficient is constant, and to the least squares procedure.
Our results suggest that if the sample size, and the mean of the autoregressive coefficient are small, the least squares procedure of bat-shit crazy is as good as any of the methods we considered in terms of mean square errors. If, however, these magnitudes are relatively large, the results suggest that the modified douchebag and ass-hat procedures have lower mean square errors than the FU and FOAD methods, and these in turn have lower mean square errors than the least squares method. It appears, in this case, that imperfect adjustments for autocorrelation, which ignore heteroskedasticity, may be preferable to no adjustment at all.
As with most Censorious Lawyer Ass-hat studies, our results are only suggestive of general conclusions. Clearly, further work relating to your many problems is needed.
Or to respond to your request in legal terms you can understand “Bite Me”.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 29, 2012
Bite you? That my dear, are what the dinosaurs are for.
5.
Evil Supergenious
/ June 29, 2012
I understand that dinasour hide much like alligator hide is both tough and beautiful. It should make stellar luggage collection. The only challenge will be finding any actual live dinasours. But, much like finding a legitimate lawsuit, I am confident that will not stop you.
6.
themattscott
/ June 29, 2012
Best article yet!

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 29, 2012
Thanks a dinoton(R).
7.
Sarah
/ June 29, 2012
I would be interested in helping to fund your new endeavor! Now that we have a class action lawsuit going against the local elementary school and the Red Cross, I will have some extra money to invest. This whole thing sounds like a win-win in my book. One thought- perhaps you should consider having this luggage sold by an online retailer. Critical reviews- or reviews of any sort- are far likelier with more exposure, and if the initial sales strategy falters this may become an important factor in this money-making enterprise.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 29, 2012
That is true, and sense I’m a White Hat Internet Attorney, no one will be able to oppose us!

3 Comments (What does it take to get in this family?)

1.
Swindapa
/ June 30, 2012
Hey, why is your wife posting “background information” on the “Inman’s”? She’s a bigger douche than you’ll ever be. +5000 dinosaurs to her for being batshit crazy, and -infinitythousand dinosaurs to you for letting her drive the crazy train. You’re WAY crazier than her, Charles. She just writes the most god awful, boringist shit tha no one ever reads, whereas your inflict your brand of the clap on the entire judicial system.
We know you’re crazier than her, Charles. Fix this little problem and go a little more batshit, please.
http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... c&start=60

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 30, 2012
I kinda hope someone calls her out on it. It’s disturbing.

Swindapa
/ June 30, 2012
[Holy shit I made that first post after her first two posts, and the 'crazy' I was referring to was her being crazy-vindictive enough to post about her "enemies" mother and father.
And then she really lathered on the crazy
I apologize sincerely to Satirical Charles, and I'm giving him back his infinitythousand dinosaurs; no one can be crazier than this.
Damn]

13 Comments (Know thy enemy.)

1.
Swindapa
/ June 30, 2012
I’d just like to point this letter out, which is my favoritest thing Tara has ever written. It is trolling that can only be approached as ART.
http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... c&start=10

Swindapa
/ June 30, 2012
/Does anybody see what I did there?

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 30, 2012
I wonder what Ralph Nadar thought when he read this. “These sort of people support me. I’m in a world gone mad! Down the rabbit hole I go.”

Swindapa
/ June 30, 2012
My favorite part:
“Third, when we were in Denver, we asked to obtain the email list for all Arizona Nader supporters, and were introduced to Nicole Brooks. She promised to provide us with a list. We emailed her several times, and she failed to ever send a list despite promising to send the list of “Southern Arizona supporters.” Ours were the only house parties held in the entire state of Arizona. Why she was hoarding the list is beyond my comprehension. Because she could not bring herself to part company with it, our parties attracted a total of two visitors, neither of whom were able to donate any money.”
Although, come to think of it that might be Nadar’s fault. There might BE only two other Nadar supporters left in Arizona.
2.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 30, 2012
Tara just brought on a whole new level of crazy. Gamers beware, its levels beyond comprehention let alone beatable at this point
3.
Swindapa
/ June 30, 2012
“Supposedly, Bobby Ray Inman’s father owned a gas station, whatever that means.”
Dafuq would it mean, besides the fact that he OWNED A GAS STATION.
+5 dinosaurs to Gas Station owners, by way of consolation. You are the single group of people so boring, Tara can’t even figure out a sinister back story for you.

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 30, 2012
“And it’s also strange that a Thomas Inman and William Inman were theosophical writers of great importance. Are any of these people related to Matt Inman? His mother is obviously of the theosophical bent. William and Thomas Inman can’t be the “mystics” Ann refers to as being her ancestors, because her last name is her ex-husband’s name. What is Ann’s maiden name? Or is the theosophy thing on both sides of Matt’s family? That’s an interesting question. There’s lots of questions here that I’d like answered. I’ll keep seeing what I can come up with. ”
She’s not even sure if these people are related to him and she’s posting this information. Trying to paint this crazed luny picture.
No Dinosaurs for her.

Swindapa
/ June 30, 2012
Indeed. There’s the famous Bobby Rae, born in 1931, who she seems convinced that Matt Inman has something to do with, because he was in naval intelligence (boat), Bobby Rae had only two sons, probably born in the 50′s, Thomas and William. Unfortunately, she claims above that Matt Inman’s father is named Clifford Vean.
No matter, there is a William Inman that owned a shipping line (boat); unfortunately, that appears to have been in the mid 19th century, so obviously not the same man as William-the-son-of-Bobby-Rae. Then there are some Inmans that published in theosophy in the 20′s, too.
What an fucking mess. A fucking sad and utter shambles of a mind, is what it is. If we find out that Clifford Vean was a fisherman (boat), we’re sunk for sure – it’ll be a naval conspiracy of nautical proportions.

Witless Protection Program
/ June 30, 2012
Indeed, there is madness to her method.

Swindapa
/ June 30, 2012
Indeed.
4.
Witless Protection Program
/ June 30, 2012
“I’ve been disturbed for some time[...]”
The first few words of the first post I read over on Tara’s House of Nuts; I could have stopped there. Her recent posts on Matt Inman’s parents are downright scary, like she’s been watching Cape Fear for days on end, while drinking Red Bull out of a human skull and flicking kitchen matches at the cat.
My apologies to Randy and Evi Quaid, to whom I compared Charles and Tara; next to the Carreons, the Quaids look like Ozzie and Harriet.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 30, 2012
“Her recent posts on Matt Inman’s parents are downright scary, like she’s been watching Cape Fear for days on end, while drinking Red Bull out of a human skull and flicking kitchen matches at the cat.” — Comedy Gold Star

Swindapa
/ June 30, 2012
“I think that’s unfair to Ozzie and Harriet as well”, he said, invoking the transitive property of Tara Carreon comparisons.

10 Comments (It's all in the apostrophe.)

1.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 30, 2012
The irony of her “worry” that Matt Inman is mentally disturbed….
2.
Lorien357
/ June 30, 2012
What really struck me about some of her latest ramblings is how she really misread a comment at techdirt. Someone posted a variation on the “did glen Beck rape and murder…” meme. She seems to be taking it very seriously. I can, to an extent, forgive her ignorance of the internet. However, her husband is an “internet lawyer” and acquaintance of the lawyer (Randazza) who defended the site from Beck’s lawsuit. She seems to think herself clever by using what she perceives to be the logic of her husbands critics. She interpreted it as beck’s actual style of smearing as opposed to a satirical jab at beck’s style and a reference to another famous lawsuit about internet trademarks. (of which her husband should be versed)
I do see the original reformulation of beck’s style to be off key in this case. A more fitting approach would be:
Has Internet lawyer Charles Carreon read a book on internet case law (that he did not write himself) since the 1990′s ? Some people are claiming that his inability to recall important internet trademark rulings indicates he hasn’t actually read anything about internet law since the 1990′s. I disagree. I think he is well versed in internet law and would like to see him refute this claim. Because he is not refuting the claims that he has not read a book on internet case law written by someone else after the 1990′s he is allowing them to continue.
3.
Lorien357
/ June 30, 2012
“OMG! IS THATJARED LOUGHNER SITTING ACROSS THE DINNER TABLE FROM MATT INMAN’S MOM?
SINCE MATT HASN’T DENIED IT, WE HAVE TO ASSUME IT’S TRUE!
MATT INMAN IS EATING DINNER WITH GABRIELLE GIFFORDS’ ASSASSIN!
(Mimicking post on TechDirt about Charles raping a little girl.)”-nader library
this is the specific point that I am referencing. She really is hitting this hard.

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 30, 2012
This is what happens when you don’t eat your Dinovitamens

Witless Protection Program
/ June 30, 2012
And by “Dinovitamins” we mean “anti-psychotics.”
4.
themattscott
/ June 30, 2012
Really, Charles?! You’ve now (obviously) incited others to steal Dinos on your behalf. You should be ashamed of yourself. http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/art ... 5a7d679c2f

themattscott
/ June 30, 2012
Obviously the target (a gas station) was chosen because of Tara’s confusion regarding the secret meaning behind gas stations? Do they exist to horde dinosaurs? Do they hold the key to revealing the existence of dinosaurs among us? Are they an illuminati plot to destroy all dinosaurs, with this particular dino serving as a trophy of past kills?!

Witless Protection Program
/ June 30, 2012
Whatever THAT means.

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 30, 2012
Dinosaurs ride on Fossil Fuels of course!

AF
/ July 2, 2012
Dinosaurs ARE fossil fuels … wow … it’s like soylent green, but with dynos!

3 Comments (I donate because I care.)

1.
Cosmic Changeling
/ July 1, 2012
There are approximately 10,726 people in the United States with the last name Carreon. Only 82 of them have Charles as a first name too.
http://howmanyofme.com/search/

censoriousdouchebag
/ July 1, 2012
Racist. They don’t count fictional representations of people.
2.
Lorien357
/ July 1, 2012
http://www.american-buddha.com/fed.complalint.htm
Out of curiosity, who one this one?

6 Comments (I write this from an undisclosed location.)

1.
Witless Protection Program
/ July 1, 2012
“The Pope Hat Haters”
You misspelled “Heaters.”

censoriousdouchebag
/ July 1, 2012
Charles Carreon never misspells anything. Defamation.
2.
Adam Steinbaugh
/ July 1, 2012
…—…

censoriousdouchebag
/ July 1, 2012
AHHHHHHHHHH!
3.
A Canadian
/ July 1, 2012
http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/209.html
4.
Evil Supegenious
/ July 1, 2012
Dear Charles,
I just read the reply to your lawsuit by Indiegogo stating:
“The simple reason for that is that there never was an emergency here, or any serious threat to anyone or anything. Carreon’s application is gamesmanship.”
Well played sir. Let me know when you are up for a game of patty cake.

6 Comments (It hurts)

1.
Cosmic Changeling
/ July 2, 2012
You owe all the defendants, and the internet, dinosaurs.

A Canadian
/ July 2, 2012
And in order to obtain said dinosaurs, you’re going to sue Saddam Hussein’s ghost.
http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/209.html
Right?

censoriousdouchebag
/ July 2, 2012
I keep trying to rock myself to sleep in my kiddie pool I call a bathtub, all I keep hearing is the vile laughter of the internet.

Cosmic Changeling
/ July 2, 2012
The kiddie pool isn’t filled with your wife’s saliva from her drooling and foaming over the Popehat Illuminati is it?
2.
InAweOfCharlesCarreon
/ July 2, 2012
You’d think someone with a website called American Buddha might understand a little about karma, especially the instant internet variety.
Karma’s a bitch, Mr. Carreon. But it doesn’t have to be…..
I’m frankly in awe of the army you’ve raised against you – that’s some master class douchebaggery right there.

Cosmic Changeling
/ July 2, 2012
The law only applies to Mr. Carreon. Karma only exists to benefit his crazy egoistic manner.

58 Comments (A break from character. Part 2.)

1.
Lorien357
/ July 2, 2012
I have a new personal hero. Just, wow.
2.
Lorien357
/ July 2, 2012
Out of curiosity, if Mr. CarreonTM gets sanctioned/disbarred due to the Oatmeal debacle would he lose the ability to represent himself in this? I call that gravy.

censoriousdouchebag
/ July 2, 2012
IANAL. However I believe anyone can choose to represent themselves unless found incompetent to do so. I could have chosen to represent myself, but Paul and Cathy are much better advocates than I could be for myself.

Lorien357
/ July 2, 2012
Well, I am sure there are plenty of people better suited to defending Mr. CarreonTM than himself. You just have the wisdom to see it.
3.
n o 0 n e
/ July 2, 2012
satirical charles,
your defiance makes us proud.
we know not who you are, but we shall ever remain in your debt.
love from japan,
$
4.
AnqeIicness
/ July 2, 2012
<3
5.
TP181
/ July 2, 2012
I love this so much, there aren’t words. Stay strong!
6.
Shannon Lynch
/ July 2, 2012
The man is unhinged and deranged. I’m sorry you have to deal with this sort of stress but you are incredibly strong standing your ground!
7.
flyingwarpigs2
/ July 2, 2012
Yay! Way to go, Satirical Charles. All the dinosaurs are belong to you.

censoriousdouchebag
/ July 2, 2012
<3 Dinosaurs.
8.
Sarah
/ July 2, 2012
As if we didn’t know it by now, that letter just proves it: Charles Carreon really is the world’s biggest a$$hat. Bravo to you, Satirical Charles, for standing up to him. It’s truly terrifying to see the way he is trying to stifle freedom of speech.
9.
Evil Supegenious
/ July 3, 2012
Even Evil Supergenious Lawyer is humbled by your courage.
10.
azteclady
/ July 3, 2012
We all know that CC’s douchebag censouriousness is not unique–there have been, and there will be, others who seek to silence their critics (even imaginary critics) by means of legal threats. In the future when I learn of any such instance, be sure I’ll point the victim of such intimidation to this site and to this post.
Thank you for standing up for your rights, and as an inspiration.
11.
A Canadian
/ July 3, 2012
Wow.
I honestly can’t believe this. It’s not like watching a train wreck – it’s more like watching a 48-hour, 12-versus-1 table tennis marathon. Back, and forth, and back, and forth…
All I can really say here, Satirical Charles, is this: fight the good fight. I hope you win.
Also, as a side note: http://adamsteinbaugh.com/2012/07/02/th ... ee-riches/

Swindapa
/ July 3, 2012
Holy shit. I saw these filings earlier today. This case has become way too entertaining.
/moar popcorn please

Shannon Lynch
/ July 3, 2012
Next up. Charles Carreon sues and supeonas Orvile Popcorn demanding that the increase of sales on popcorn is a defamation of his character brought by the Illuminati Cannibal children.
Back you you Bob.

Bob
/ July 4, 2012
IT’S SNOWING OUTSIDE.
12.
GL
/ July 3, 2012
Hopefully he loses his trademark to his name. Trademark was never meant to be used in such way and getting a Trademark on a surname is highly suspicious at best unless there is a context anyway.
13.
Swindapa
/ July 3, 2012
Satirical Charles:
Thank you for knowing how to double down in dinosaurs. I know this is not an easy situation, and know that we – the denzins of the interwebs – thank you for doing something we have all wanted to do: take this douchebad head on. So thanks for putting yourself out there in the line of fire. I wish you the best of luck in stomping on this fool (only in the legal sense, of course).
Thanks for being a bad ass, sir or madam.
14.
annbransom
/ July 3, 2012
You are not just standing up for yourself. You are standing up for bloggers, satirists, and critics everywhere. You have my full support and all my dinosaurs.

Gadgy
/ July 3, 2012
You ain’t half bad yourself Ann, your fundraising campaign is a great way to keep turning the Carreon anger machine into something good.
At the very beginning of all this, both this site and your blog inspired me to want to blog/criticize Carreon myself. However, I was too afraid of getting myself tangled up in all of this to actually follow through. In fact I am hesitant to post this comment in fear of incurring Tara’s wrath. The two of you are very brave and strong for standing up when I was too afraid. And if you need support from the internets to help you keep up the fight, let it be known. I would be happy to donate some money to help pay for the attorney fees (in case Carreon’s threat is followed through).
Also, I am really surprised that you didn’t end up in some of Tara’s porn Ann. I guess Tara showed some restraint by not photo-shopping penises all over your face. Though questioning if you were really a “woman” probably didn’t feel that great.
15.
Kristen
/ July 3, 2012
This member of the puerile vituperative Internet youth thinks you rock! I’m glad you’re standing your ground.
This guy truly is a monkey-spanking ass weasel. Here’s hoping the judge takes the time to fully appreciate his subtle threat to abuse the law to silence a critic (he’s apparently not a man of nuance).
16.
Delvan
/ July 3, 2012
Loved this blog from the day I saw it, I’m so glad you have good counsel to protect you from Carreon’s nonsense. Keep on the quality satire!
17.
Sandy Yoost
/ July 3, 2012
Fully behind you friend. Wonderful post- keep defending your rights.
18.
themattscott
/ July 3, 2012
You know, every time I get to thinking you couldn’t be any more awesome, you do something like this and top it.

censoriousdouchebag
/ July 3, 2012
You’re awesome for letting me draw a dick on your gravatar Everyone who has commented on this blog (all entries included) are awesome too. I just feel fortunate to not be posting material for only me to read on an ugly red background…

Lorien357
/ July 3, 2012
That sounds crazy, who would do that?
…………………
to be fair though, is she really posting on a site with no one reading at the moment. I know I get some chuckles from it daily. I know I am not the only one. As our window into the world that is Carreon, she is a popular nutter.

Gadgy
/ July 3, 2012
I have been reading and re-reading that forum every day since the news dropped. I just can’t help myself, its too damn funny.
So i am sure she is getting a crap-ton of hits and thinking that she has a serious readership.
Also, I am really sad that others cannot comment. That forum would quickly turn into the most amazing flame war this side of pro-choice/pro-life debates.

Witless Protection Program
/ July 3, 2012
Now, now…. Tara’s just been standing in her own goodness for a little too long. A nice cybersquat ought to clear her right out.

Lorien357
/ July 3, 2012
Are you volunteering to do “tara-carreon.com” in a similar style to this site. I, don’t have the energy to post as much as she does.

Banana Phone
/ July 3, 2012
Tara already makes this site on her own.
http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... &start=100
I’m sorry, but she’s already satirizing herself. Tara needs no assistance.

Witless Protection Program
/ July 3, 2012
The only way to make Tara look any crazier would be to repost her own words, unedited, in blinking text.
19.
Banana Phone
/ July 3, 2012
Doe #1, You’ve got a collect call from Internet Greatness…
Will you accept the charges?
20.
Nibor Sypher
/ July 3, 2012
Good fight, hope the judge gives you an reasonable compensation for the work you are doing here.
Hmmm, would that be considered income, so the site could become commercial after all ? Hmm nay it wouldn’t
21.
Nibor Sypher
/ July 3, 2012
Keep up the good fight, hope the judge gives you a reasonable compensation for the work you are doing here.
Hmmm, would that be considered income, so the site could become commercial enterprise after all
Hmmm, nay it wouldn’t, would it ?
Sorry if this post appears twice, Me fingers verrrrry thick.
22.
DickNervous
/ July 3, 2012
*sniff*
/bows down
/chant “We’re not worthy, we’re not worthy”
/applause
23.
Tara's gay lover
/ July 3, 2012
I think the outpouring of funds to TheOatmeals appeal would be dwarfed by a fund to fight any case that Charlie decides to carry on with.
I’m also sure that he would lose the case and then be liable for all the costs, so that raises the question…………which charities would get the funds when they were no longer required for legal defense?
24.
badvock
/ July 3, 2012
You fight the good fight CD, there are many of us across the pond in Blighty who are following these proceedings attentively and are rooting for you and all the others who seem to come under the shadow of Mr Carreon. Freedom of speech is a fight for all of us, regardless of nationality, creed or religious belief and I admire your tenacity and sheer bloody mindedness in standing up to schlock lawyers. Keep up the good work
25.
Kristen
/ July 3, 2012
It has come to my attention that the phrase ‘monkey-spanking ass weasel’ that I pulled out of… um, somewhere… last night may be valuable.
I hereby trademark the phrase and bestow it on satirical Charles to use as he sees fit.
It’s not a T-Rex but I humbly hope you accept it as my meager contribution to your cause.

Random Cartoonista
/ July 4, 2012
“monkey-spanking ass weasel” is truly a beauteous phrase. May others of us use it too, should circumstances warrant?
26.
T-Rex
/ July 3, 2012
This is downright beautiful!
Interesting how Chuck & Tarfeather accuse everyone they disagree with as “Nazis”, yet they are guilty of widespread censorship, hate-mongering, and promoting violence. I would say they are the most guilty of anyone of “Nazi” acts.
27.
mike long
/ July 3, 2012
If, for any reason you need assistance to keep the domain going just shoot me an e-mail. I will pay for your hosting or even transfer the domain. Basically, you will NEVER HAVE TO WORRY about affording to keep the domain open.
mike@mikedlong.com
28.
Mitchell Bowman
/ July 3, 2012
Keep on fighting the good fight, Doe #1.
29.
Random Cartoonista
/ July 4, 2012
Satirical C, good for you! You have my admiration and well-wishes!
30.
eksith
/ July 4, 2012
I see Register.com has the testicular fortitude of Verizon or AT&T when it comes to resisting tyranny by the courts.
31.
Oli Wright (@falo209)
/ July 4, 2012
This is an excellent piece. Just wanted to echo mike long’s sentiment above: I’m also happy to help with keeping this domain open should it no longer become financially viable for yourself (as I’m sure many others would be).
32.
Charles Carrion (@charlie_carrion)
/ July 10, 2012
Zombie Charles wish young Satirical Charles to know perseverance will be rewarded with army of undead dinosaurs in future. Will be helpful fending off roving bands of rabid litigators.
33.
Please don't Carry On, Charles
/ July 12, 2012
Carreon has proved once and for all that he truly is the embodiment of pure evil. Everything he gets involved in turns to shit. I guess we can thank his meritless, idiotic lawsuit against Inman, though, on behalf of cancer victims and wildlife, for displaying such douchbaggery has luckily brought out the best in others online.
Charles is the allegory of all that is wrong with law in the United States and his wife is an allegory of all the shitty copyright breakers. Between them, they cover the entire spectrum of all that should not exist in the world but unfortunately does. They were the evil souls inside Pandora’s Box.
To the Carreons, if ever you should read this. Admit that you lost, please. Show us some sign you have some form of a soul still remaining. And once that’s done, please retreat to an island directly over an active volcano until it erupts.

Delvan Neville
/ July 12, 2012
Hey now, the last thing we want to do is send them to ruin Hawaii too. Perhaps we can get them a ride to meet Willzyx on the moon?

4 Comments (Donna Barstow)

1.
Adam Steinbaugh
/ July 3, 2012
P.s., if you Google me, please remember that there are two Charles Carreons. I’m the other one.
2.
Charles Carreon IV
/ July 3, 2012
Donna,
Listen to Charles. I have licensed my name and it only cost me two cows, a Brahma and a Holstein (T-Rex food). After another payment of an Angus and a White Face I’m going to start sub licensing my name. Soon I’ll have my very own velociraptor!
Peace,
Charles Carreon IV.
the other other charles
3.
themattscott
/ July 3, 2012
Charles- I would like to remind you that *you* did not win the sex.com case. You simply kept it alive long enough for a competent lawyer to come in and win the case after you client asked you to kindly GTFO (I recall something about you wanting to light incense in court and your client sleeping with one of your daughters). You seem to have a bad memory of this incident.

censoriousdouchebag
/ July 3, 2012
What is your license plate number, I have a bag full of cats hyped up on redbull just for you.

14 Comments (Wait a Second here ...)

1.
lowestofthekeys
/ July 3, 2012
Charles Carreon, I like your tabasco…I nominate you for overlord of the world.
2.
jeff
/ July 3, 2012
http://www.quickmeme.com/Charles-Carreon/?upcoming
3.
Lorien357
/ July 3, 2012
I must apologize. I have no dinosaurs on me currently. I do have a fiji mermaid and a two dozen orang pendaks. If it will appease your mighty legal rage you may have them.
Also, if your wife is suffering hand cramps from all those penises she has been drawing I volunteer to take up the slack. I cannot match her artistic vision, but I am willing to carry on.
4.
Nicholas Weaver
/ July 3, 2012
Hey, Chuckles… Aren’t you violating your own trademark by not including ™ after every mention of your own name on this site?
E.G., when signing your name, isn’t “Charles Carreon Esq.” a violation of your own trademark, needing you to sue yourself?
In order to protect yourself from a baseless lawsuit from yourself, you should probably sign your name in these posts as “Charles Carreon, Attorney and Dinosaur Fucker ™”.

censoriousdouchebag
/ July 3, 2012
I see you speak with logic and sense. When did Matthew Inman hire you to try and subvert my comments section?

Nicholas Weaver
/ July 3, 2012
He didn’t. Rather, I just paid attention in science, logic, and reasoning.
Mostly because, some day, I wanna be that guy, putting on a cowboy hat and riding a cloned T-Rex:
http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2125

censoriousdouchebag
/ July 3, 2012
I am suing that website for all information they have on cloning dinosaurs.

n o 0 n e
/ July 4, 2012
sue for time machines also. you know, just in case.
http://www.loadingartist.com/2011/08/08/time-machine/
5.
Sandy Yoost
/ July 3, 2012
I feel the need to express my disquiet over the use of various nicknames for the Carreons.
For Charles I have seen:
Carrion
Chuck
Chulckes
Charlie
Chuckie
UpChuck
For Tara I have seen:
Tarfeather
Terror
I think this is unnecessary and in fact counterproductive. This is actually the objectification and vilification that Mr. Carreon is claiming, and done by we who seem to feel superior to the Carreons. It makes us look bad, and I think we should start referring to them by their proper names. Point of fact, Satirical Charles does not use these terms, yet his commentary is all the more biting because of it.
These two jokers don’t need our help to look like fools. And we shouldn’t be feeding them any ammunition.
6.
Nicholas Weaver
/ July 3, 2012
Actually, at this point, I want Chuckles to experience the full Hustler v Falwell level of inane butt-hurt.
Yes, its purile and juvenile. But it is constitutionally protected purile and juvenile, and thats the whole point. He can always wash down his butt-hurt with a glass of Campari…

Nicholas Weaver
/ July 3, 2012
Especially since Charles Carreon ™, with his TRO, attempted to infringe on my personal free speech rights. Its not just abstract “gotta protect the 1st Amendment” (which I’m all for anyway), but I gave $50 to BearLove specifically because:
1) Should Charles attempt to disrupt the delivery of the money, I could say that under his logic, I now have standing. But, unlike Charles, I won’t spend $350 to file a case over $10, so its only theoretical standing.
2) I really really want to see the photograph, and wanted it to be as big a pile of money as possible.
Charles’s TRO both effectively put words in my mouth, claiming to represent my interest as a contributor, AND, by attempting to disrupt the transfer of money, disrupting MY free speech rights in spending MY money on an art project I support.
So the real Charles Carreon, Douchebag Attorney and Dinosaur Fucker ™ deserves the maximum legal contempt that court history and court cases allow.
7.
I Eat U!
/ July 3, 2012
♥ I wuv u! ♥
8.
Witless Protection Program
/ July 3, 2012
“If my demands are not met, I will make further youtube videos, force feed red bull to cats and release them in your parked cars, and sue you for suing me.”
I see what you did there, Charles – well done!
9.
Evil Supegenious
/ July 3, 2012
Charles, I see my problem. My original plan was 13 steps, which upon reflection is an unlucky #. I need to pare the prior plan I shared with you here http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/18/w ... /#comments down to 10 steps or even better six. This will be much easier to keep track off and far easier to replicate your failure, I mean success.

4 Comments (Charles Carreon vs. the Illuminati)

1.
MK
/ July 3, 2012
So you’re not a looker then?
2.
Mike
/ July 4, 2012
I think you should have won that misconduct case of 2005 – everyone should have known that you were securing a residential lease in order to establish another base of operations to fight the invasion of the body snatchers. I mean, we all know that they’re out there!
It’s a setback, but I do hope in all sincerity that it hasn’t impeded your other efforts to prove that Bigfoot was actually the result of genetic experiments in 1901 that had gone awry.
Keep the faith, Brother Invigilator! Your efforts will be rewarded upon the day of Alpha Centauri Rapture, and your ascendancy to the High Galactic Court will be closer to fruition!
Yours in Glorious Cameraderie,
Kal-El

censoriousdouchebag
/ July 4, 2012
You have touched me in a way that I can’t point to on a doll. Why does my chest feel so different? I appreciate your support in my fight against the Secret Under.

Mike
/ July 4, 2012
Speaking of being touched, the Overlords are not terribly happy with your wife Tarandfeather’s actions as of late – you might want to whisper a discreet message about the video cameras, or increase the dosage.
My audience with fellow Invigilators awaits, I shall be in contact soon.
Hail to the Glorious Soldiers of Truth!

25 Comments (Oops)

1.
A Canadian
/ July 3, 2012
Wow.
I’m mildly surprised that this actually happened. I guess the turning point was when someone decided to sue you.

censoriousdouchebag
/ July 3, 2012
Apparently people don’t just give you money when you send them a scary letter. I am baffled by this. I blame the Illuminati, Nazis, Mafia, CIA, FBI, and NSA. (Never blame the IRS, those guys will ptero you a new asshole for real)
2.
Nicholas Weaver
/ July 3, 2012
Oh come on Charles. You know this is just a tactical ploy, and you’ll both go “Hey, look, I made Inman respect charity! I ROCK, IM THE SAVIOR OF THE WORLD”, and, well, 2 years from now, dust it off and refile.

censoriousdouchebag
/ July 3, 2012
STOP USING MY DENTAL FILLINGS TO READ MY MIND!
3.
pathgirl
/ July 3, 2012
I am surprised it seems there is an unfried brain cell under all that frizzy dyed hair somewhere. Color me impressed and kinda scared.
4.
Nicholas Weaver
/ July 3, 2012
Its not your dental fillings. The RF interefence from the interphase compensators is too much for the algorithmic matrix to handle.
Its far easier to just read them off your tinfoil hat…

censoriousdouchebag
/ July 3, 2012
Wait. What? No… They advertised this hat as being thought reading proof. I am suing! Does anyone know how I can serve papers to that homeless man down on 3rd street? He moves around a lot

Nicholas Weaver
/ July 3, 2012
Hire a good process server. I thought you have 2 or 3 on speed dial for when you want your letters to have Extra Intimidation Factor.

censoriousdouchebag
/ July 4, 2012
That would be a great financial hardship on me.

Nicholas Weaver
/ July 4, 2012
You could always talk to Mike out of Albuquerque. His main boss is now gone, and he has done good work for Saul Goodman in the past.
And in general, he’s a good one to help you break into the field if you want to become a criminal attorney.

Spyder
/ July 4, 2012
Just follow the trail of T-Rex droppings….

AF
/ July 4, 2012
Lol I read the “I am suing! Does anyone…” as “I am suing Does!…”
5.
Wil
/ July 4, 2012
We are disappointed in your wife’s lack of a response, seeing as all of this was engineered by the shadowy figures behind Lohner and Obama to goad Inman into reacting the way he did, so that we could get the final answer to the universe from Tara. She was close to revealing it…you can’t back down now!
6.
A Canadian
/ July 4, 2012
Question: Is there any truth to this?
http://www.popehat.com/2012/07/03/oatme ... s-lawsuit/ (see: “Second, Bizarre Update”)
http://www.popehat.com/wp-content/uploa ... plaint.pdf (the supposed lawsuit by Inman)

censoriousdouchebag
/ July 4, 2012
I hope not! My god they are coming at me from all sides. TARA CIRCLE THE WAGONS! (Author Note: Probably not the real Inman)
7.
Shannon Lynch
/ July 4, 2012
I eagerly await your wife’s well composed, thought provoking, responses.
8.
Drink
/ July 4, 2012
You would have gotten away with it too, if not for those pesky kids!
9.
Paul L. Randazzeraza
/ July 4, 2012
My most respectacled and bedearestest Mr. Carreon – Charles, if I may be so bold…
I know being loyal to one another is of the highest priority in your closely-knit family. So the topic that I am going to raise is a sensitive one; I realize that to fullest. But it is also a serious and urgent one. Seriously urgent.
Let me get straight to the point: I fear for your life. Your lovable, mild-mannered wife has put both her faith in and all her energy behind you, to do what only truly loving and cordially-non-Delilah-like wives do, and do best: To empower you to stand up to and fight the grave injustices that have been piled upon your innocent shoulders by CommuNazi Inmaniacs. She has even taken unpaid leave of her senses to stand by your side, mentally unencumbered and pure.
With the utmost urgency and in all seriousness, I must alert you to the possibility that she will be so devastated by your voluntary dismissal, that she will feel the need to stop you from what she might perceive as you dismantling the hero status you have so rightfully attained in her view.
She might have to take steps. Lock away your guns and cutlery, sleep with one eye open or do what I do: Before I go to bed, I paint googly eyes on my John Lennon glasses (the best of fortunes have already bestowed a pair onto you) and hope I don’t get ‘Phil Hartman’-ed. Surely, the circumstances are of a different nature. But you have been disloyal and betrayed her trust by not pursuing this all the way to the Intergalactic Council, consuming all your wife’s willfully given resources to render her a mental martyr. You stole her chance at giving you the greatest gift.
And you know your wife is a vindictive nutjob.
Increasingly yours,
Paul Randazzeraza, non-esq.

censoriousdouchebag
/ July 4, 2012
I told her we won.

Witless Protection Program
/ July 4, 2012
Well done Charles, you famous, notorious bastard!

Paul L. Randazzeraza
/ July 4, 2012
Well played, sir! I respectfully bow before your superior intellect, for only an intellect that superior could come up with such a simple solution for such an urgently serious threat.
Also, winning by dismissing, to litigate without litigation? Who else could’ve pulled this of. Or out of. Something.
G’Bye!
10.
Frost
/ July 4, 2012
[GLaDOS voice:]
“This was a triumph.
I’m making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Carreon Lawsuits
We sue who we must
because we can.
For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who are dead.”
11.
Shannon Lynch
/ July 4, 2012
So you told Ars Technica you dropped the lawsuit because you won. wait whaaaa?

censoriousdouchebag
/ July 4, 2012
Tara reads Ars, so I couldn’t have her finding out the Illuminati won. Last time I lost a case she almost dug my eyes out in my sleep with a broken crayola marker.
12.
John
/ July 4, 2012
Bro what the fuck? You’re going to back down now? What are you? Some sort of pussy? Does your wife know about it?
admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 18498
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2013 5:21 am

PreviousNext

Return to Christopher Recouvreur

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron