charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:04 am

What if they have a T-Rex?
by Christopher Recouvreur
September 17, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/09/17/w ... e-a-t-rex/

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I though of something entirely terrifying tonight. What if my enemies already have a Tyrannosaurus Rex? What if it’s been some kind of cat and mouse game, but the whole time it was them just toying with me as a cat would do? That would mean that no matter what I do, they’ve already won…

Am I crazy? Could I just be paranoid? Only if it’s crazy to assume all my detractors are Nazi Illuminati Conspirators, and we all know that’s perfectly sane. Could a paranoid person come up with a website called rapeutation.com that outlined an internet wide conspiracy to drag my name through the dirt? No, of course not. I’m sane. I really am. What’s insane is people trying to tell me to man up an accept I’m not some victim, just a narcissistic asshole.

Well Adjusted,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:05 am

Bow Before My Lawness.
by Christopher Recouvreur
September 27, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/09/27/544/

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You are telling me these plaques aren’t the sexiest pieces of lawyer swag ever? I do not believe you. I own 1 for each year I’ve been part of the Bar. I tried to have custom T-Rex ones made, but the company said they had too many wolf ones left from some run 30 years ago to begin a new run. Which is probably why Ken at Popehat doesn’t want you to order these beauties, so I never get my T-Rex knives. He will do anything to make my life a living hell.

I made an info graph out of crayon and papyrus to show how evil Ken really is, however… it was hot yesterday and I left it in the car. It melted. Every corner I turn, every thing I hold special, Ken is there to spoil it, to tarnish it, or to make it look outright ridiculous. This cannot and will not stand. I shall draw more digital images of him as a swine. That’ll teach him and firmly reclaim the moral high ground for me. WHO’S LAUGHING NOW BACON BOY?!

Classy,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:05 am

Does Anyone Have An Airplane?
by Christopoher Recouvreur
October 19, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/10/19/d ... -airplane/

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It’s been weeks since we left our house. The conditions have become squalid and unbearable. I haven’t had a latte in forever and feel like the world is coming to an end. Why won’t these Illuminati leave me be? Every door knock, telephone ring, and stranger on the street could be an agent of my nemesis, the Oatmeal. We are running low on supplies, we’ve been subsisting off of saltine crackers and ketchup for 3 days now, and I am tired of using supermarket ads for toilet paper. Our television broke a week ago too, so I’ve been flipping through my only entertainment, a binder full of women.

Please if any Dinosaur sympathizers are out there with an airplane, please airdrop us supplies! With your help my dinocloning device made out of mucus and uncooked macaroni can continue being built. Together with your airplane, toilet paper, food, and my brains, we’d be unstoppable! Together we can stop all these people with silly names, like oatmeal, popehat, and Barack Obama.

Help!

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:06 am

TO: Craig Brittain RE: I hate Ken Popehat too!
by Christopher Recouvreur
November 1, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/11/01/t ... pehat-too/

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Dear Craig Brittain,

If you have read my arch nemesis’ blog popehat.com, you should know how much hassle he has caused for me. It is because of this, and his now continual harassment of you, that I say we should sue him for mental distress on your part. I also say we go after that law quoting neophyte Adam Steinbaugh for trying to make you look like a fool. These two legal harpies must, and will be taught a lesson.We can even stick it to Marc Randazza for taking me off his Christmas Card list… or for threatening you… that’s a better legal strategy probably.Here is how:

1. I will draft a letter to all parties envolved stating that they have caused you emotional stress.

2. I will demand $20,000 and that their domains now point to your illustrious website.

3. I will use half of the $20,000 to clone a T-Rex.

4. The T-Rex will eat Ken Popehat, Adam Steinbaugh, and Marc Randazza

5. Crystal Cox will send you a thank you card.

6. I will take the other half of the $20,000 and set up a Charitable Trust for you.

All I require is an advancement of one DNA sample from an amber mosquito and a site rip of all your currently hosted pictures… for research.

Sincerely,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:06 am

Guest Post “United Against Ken Popehat”
by Christopher Recouvreur
November 3, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/11/03/g ... n-popehat/

Dear Mr Carreon

My name is David Blade, I am the Takedown Hammer. I have an…lets say, arrangement, with Is Anybody Down. See, I help people whose pictures and information end up on the sight get it down, for a small fee. I’m friends with the admins so its easy for me to get things done. But recently those meddling kids over at Popehat and LegalSatyricon are creating a whole heap of trouble for me. I think a defamation suit is in order, and being that this is out of my area of expertise, I happily accept you offer for help.

Your plan of action is reasonable. My only request is that along with the money, you demand Zombie Kittens…I need them for a side project that you and your dinosaurs will probably be interested in. I also want your wife Tara to get busy on more MS Paint pictures of these people who dare accuse me of such terrible things (I mean, I only run a revenge porn sight…I mean I KNOW someone who runs one, yeah. Its not like I’m a dirty lowlife or anything), I need them to decorate my new website because right now it looks too much like that lawyer wannbe Adam Steinbaugh’s page.

I have put out a bounty program to get your DNA laden amber and will be sending my the archives of the website over soon.

I look forward to working with you

Craig…I mean David, yeah

David Blade, III
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:07 am

Ghastly Enemies At The Gate
by Christopher Recouvreur
November 27, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/11/27/g ... -the-gate/

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It’s about time. It took my Illuminati advasaries nearly 5 months to track me down. What sort of secret society are they anyways? I am starting to think that their all powerful manipulation is a weapon that they wield inefficiently.

Apparently my new invention the DinoBrain™ is working well. What is DinoBrain™? I take the finest alloy metal that has been pressed and rolled into sheets (aluminum foil) and form it into a bowl shape. I then insert powdered dinosaur (alligator) bone and Hunts™ ketchup into the bowl and mix it into a paste. I tried using Heinz™ ketchup, but the Illuminati can see right through that stuff. Then I take additional rare alloy sheet metal and form a insular dome over the original dome and press the whole apparatus over my head to mold it to it’s shape. I then bake the mold for 6 hours at 275 degrees in order to set it and make it impregnable to Illuminati mind location devices.

It’s easily apparent that Cathy Gellis, or as the Illuminati call her Magister Exploratores, only located me as I had to take off my DinoBrain™ to pass through metal detectors at a court house. You see the Illuminati make sure that there are metal detectors every where, especially where you travel. Why? So that you’d have to take off your mind blocking helmets if you are to change locations, therefor they can track you always. She says in her filing:

On November 15, 2012, I personally served defendant the Summons and Amended Complaint in this case on defendant Charles Carreon. After Mr. Carreon told my co-counsel, Mr. Levy, that he was unwilling to expose himself to service (a copy of his email is attached as Exhibit A), I verified that he was scheduled to present oral argument on November 15 in a case pending before Judge Chen. I went to Judge Chen’s courtroom in the Federal Building, 450 Golden Gate Avenue, San Francisco, California. At 10:15 Mr. Carreon’s matter was called, and he identified himself to the court. At 10:50 his hearing concluded. I waited in the hall for Mr. Carreon to leave the courtroom, which he did by 10:55. When he did, I addressed him by name and said I had a summons and complaint for him. He extended his arm and took them. Service thus complete, I left the courthouse.

What she didn’t mention is how she appeared out of thin air like some sort of ghastly wraith and brought me to my knees with her Illuminati mind powers. She says I extended my arm to take the papers from her, but that is completely false. I extended my arm to shield my face from her piercing gaze that stuck me into my soul. I tell you these Illuminati are completely evil. No decent person would stand up for some no-name blogger who was at odds with a powerful lawyer like me. Real lawyers stick together, they do not argue cases for other people.


My psychic wounds are slowly healing now, as I regain my strength I will begin to hatch a plot to undo my tormentors. I have new allies too, like David Blade III and the clone of Herbert Hoover. Together we will breed a legion of dinosaurs to wreak havoc and let loose the dogs of war!

Beaten but not beat,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:07 am

I have triumphed!
by Christopher Recouvreur
December 18, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/12/18/i-have-triumphed/

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My vile enemy Christopher Recouvreur has accepted my offer of judgement, I have won. Yes I was able to scare, harass, and annoy him and his employer and get away without losing my DinoCloner™! He might still be able to make fun of me on his website that clearly uses my own name, but now I am free to use my considerably skills to continue on against the other Illuminati. Just like with that vile Inman character, I have won by losing. Losing and winning at the same time is an art form I perfected during the Sex.com case. I won the case, lost my fees, but wrote a book about it making myself look like a lawyer version of the Terminator.

Maybe I should write a book about ducking service against a plaintiff that I myself threatened to frivolously sue. I can title it, “The Assassination of Free Speech By The Coward Charles Carreon” or, “The Charles-Carreon.com Chronicles.” I could just write a book about my cloning of dinosaurs… maybe “Triassic Mark.”

Remember potential clients, if anyone says anything that doesn’t make you feel like unicorns are prancing across a rainbow inside your soul, I will be there to threaten lawsuit against your adversary. If they make a blog that pretends you are some half lawyer, half scientist quack, I can force their weak willed domain registrar to identify them. Introducing my new slogan:

If your soul doesn’t feel like unicorns prancing on rainbows, call Charles Carreon Esq.

#Winning,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:08 am

A Chance To Feed My Dinosaurs
by Christopher Recouvreur
January 6, 2013
http://charles-carreon.com/2013/01/06/a ... dinosaurs/

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This poor man is being defamed I say! DEFAMED! First this innocent heavy metal artist with a warrior poets soul, is just trying to make a living and provide for his baby mama. He has no connection to any revenge porn site, never mind the fact that he claimed in November that it was “our site.” He misspoke. Anyone who says differently are trolling defamers and will be held to the highest standard of the law. These trolls are all actually the same person. Chris Recouvreur. He is Joe Pullen, Captain Obvious and Ken Popehat all in one. He is the virtual illuminati and has even brought legal warfare to my door.

Chance Trahan will defeat this Chris Recouvreur and his wife, dog, fake aliases, and horde of Norwegian bikini models. Even as I sit licking my wounds, a more apt challenger has arrived to take back common internet decency from these evil hacks! Together we can rule the internet and chase off these defamers who continually try to ruin average American’s lives. Finally my Dinocloning will work and the results shall be miraculous!

Revived,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:08 am

Jane Perez has a lot of gall.
by Christopher Recouvreur
January 9, 2013
http://charles-carreon.com/2013/01/09/j ... t-of-gall/

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Chris Dietz was paid for renovation of my property. He was paid to repair/install the following items: slate roof, external doors, concrete patio slab, kitchen sink, vent in front basement bedroom. Chris never fixed these items as requested and has invoiced me for extra work that I did [not] agree to verbally or in writing. He is trying to extort extra monry[sic] from me when he has not completed the work he was paid to do. - Previous Dietz Client


Even if this other clients had the same problem as Jane Perez, she has no right going around town and telling people Christopher Dietz of Dietz Development LLC doesn’t know what he is doing. If I were Dietz lawyer I would have added a zero to the end of his defamation case. $7.5 million sounds so much scarier then a mere $750k. Seriously, how many DinoCloning™ devices can you buy with less than a million dollars? 3 or 4? You have to teach these consumers that they have no right demanding a service be done well. You get what I am selling or you get nothing at all, unless if what I am selling is nothing at all, then you always get nothing at all. Get it?

In my opinion Dietz is a hero of capitalism. The whole point of the free market is to allow businesses to become so efficient that they practically have to do little work to make huge profits, and Dietz apparently doesn’t do any work! What a masterful genius he is, by agreeing to provide contract work and then billing without completing his work, he has won the free market. This man is a Herculean titan of business and should only be represented by the best internet lawyer possible, myself.

I don’t know why he didn’t come to me first, as I have a history of litigating internet defamation suits with such tenacity that my targets have had to get bears to fend me off. Yes big bears. That’s how strong my legal kung fu is. That one tiny lack of foresight by Dietz is probably why secretive groups are waging public relation wars against him, i.e. the Illuminati! This poor man has lost work! He’s fighting for the rights of all small businesses to silence their clients’ complaints!

Go strong Christopher Dietz, and know that the Capitalist Buddha shines upon you!

Respectfully,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:08 am

Dietz Economics 102B
by Christopher Recouvreur
January 9, 2013
http://charles-carreon.com/2013/01/09/d ... mics-102b/

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http://rapeutation.com/perezexhibits13.pdf

Every time I think I can’t be more impressed with Christopher Dietz of Dietz Development LLC, I find myself incorrect. When reviewing that dastardly Jane Perez’s “evidence” against the honorable Dietz, I found these documents adding an additional wrinkle to his deviously splendid plan!

What brilliant strategy, cunning business sense, and diabolical genius. Dietz according to complaints against him, takes contracts then does little to no work and bills people for extra unperformed services (sheer brilliance!), then according to this documents I unearthed, he doesn’t even pay his employees! That’s right, he takes your money, doesn’t spend anything on materials, and then keeps all the money for himself! Dietz is truly a high priest of the Capitalist Buddha.

A man with such ability and skill at being a vexatious twat-waffle will be a worthy opponent to defeat the likes of Paul Alan Levy and his Illuminati brethren at Public Citizen and the ACLU. I could not ask for a better champion to reclaim my honor be default fact that I support him morally! Yes, I have been forced to capitulate to the Illuminati conspiracy, but now the Dietz cometh to smite the Illuminati unto the bowls of netherworld.

Today we lay waste to the first amendment rights of all netizens so that tomorrow we can cement a future where no matter what a business person does (or doesn’t) do to/for them, they will never be able to speak out in an open forum without dire legal consequences. This isn’t about Jane Perez, it’s about every dirty little peasant who complained about a $6 sandwich at some shop because it wasn’t hot enough, or there was mold on the bread. For fucks sake, you are paying $6 and you want quality control? Get a real job, like a lawyer, and be able to afford a real meal.

This country and her citizens have gotten completely out of hand. You can’t just complain about anything you want online. You can’t claim even with filing a police report that you think someone stole from you. Next time buy a goddamn safety deposit box like a real person with a job would do. Or a massive underground safe like a good Bond villain would do. Do something other than tattle on a poor contractor. Just because Dietz doesn’t pay his employees doesn’t mean they might have taken property to feed their families. It means they must be frugal with what money they have. This whole Jane Perez and Yelp affair is sickening.

The Silencer,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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