charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 3:49 am

Did I ever tell you about the time…
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 12, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/12/d ... xclude=364

I tried to sue the Oregon Bar? It almost happened. Then some Nazi conspirator decided she’d go and shoot me down. Telling me that I am misinterpreting the facts and not knowing my legal apple from the my legal orange. One is orange and one is red, well sometimes pink, or green, or yellow, or… oh never mind.

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I bet she’s a friend of Matthew Inman too. It’s all part of an Oatmeal conspiracy that goes even into the past! That’s right Paul Levy, Matthew Inman, Adam Steinbaugh, Nicholas Weaver, Will Ross and Christopher must have figured a way to go into the pass and commit rapeutation! Those evil Illuminati bastards. How the hell did they develop time travel before I was able to clone dinosaurs? Now they can go back in time and retrieve actual dinosaurs… oh my god… the Illuminati could go back in time and stop me from being born! THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE MYSELF IS TO WRAP MY WHOLE BODY IN TIN FOIL!! My god. They all must be sued. Along with the above mention persons, I will sue Does 1-1000, Ann Bransom (who has never produced dinosaurs for me), ArsTechnica, Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Billy Crystal, Anderson Cooper, and Queen Latifah. This is no longer a fight for the present or the future, but for history itself!

Not Selfish,

Charles Carreon Esq.

prosecution correspondence-p0001 – p0087 <– The full file.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 3:49 am

Wikipedia is Mafia
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 12, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/12/w ... -is-mafia/

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So I went to great lengths to create a wikipedia article that read like a resumé. I used the LLC of a porn actress that I registered a trademark for. See who edited my first wikipedia page and her wikipedia page? Want proof? Here you go. So I develop this devious plan to make us look like Gods of the Internets and then wikipedia bans our account? Mafia conspirators. They probably are part of the Oatmeal Time Travel Conspiracy, or OTTC as I like to call it.

This is preposterous. I made my own wikipedia page to look good on the internet. Then these wikipedia people take part in rapeutation. Don’t they understand that free speech is only speech that makes me look good? How is a White Hat Internet Lawyer supposed to look good without creating his own wikipedia page? I mean other than taking more than one notable case ever, a case I kind of got kicked off of… This is blatant DIRA. I bet wikipedia took part in the DOS attacks on my site too. Those evil bastards. I wonder who’s in charge of wikipedia? How do you find out that sort of information? Maybe I’ll sue them to find out and gain dinosaur cloning technology.

Super Honest,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 3:50 am

I am not a hypocrite.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 13, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/13/i ... hypocrite/

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See this is how I know Christopher had to use his work computer to blog about me, because I used my work laptop for personal reasons and everyone does what I do. Not only did I use my work laptop for personal emailing, I took it, didn’t want to give it back, and allowed other persons to use it. So the proof is pretty solid. The only way anyone can do anything is to use their work computer duh. It’s just good logic. It’s the scientific process, you start with a conclusion based on your own past experiences, and you say anything to convince anyone it’s true. Just like “water evaporating,” I mean who comes up with that stuff. Water is a liquid, not a gas. Everyone knows that. That’d be like saying water could become a solid. Crazy talk.

The real reason I couldn’t return the laptop and tried to haggle for it, is because I had semi-working schematics of a dinosaur cloning device. You don’t just give Canadians the ability to clone dinosaurs, that’d be treason or something. Unfortunately we could not get the cloning device to work because when I scanned the crayon drawings, the wax melted some and we lost a few computations. It was a disappointing time in my life. I had the amber locked mosquito and everything, which I later ate when I had the munchies one late night…

Scientist,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 3:50 am

A cave. A man. A cloning machine.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 14, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/14/a ... xclude=368

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I am back in my undisclosed mud cave impenetrable underground lair. The Illuminati are every where now and I’ve had to go black from the last several hours. Only now as Tara pedals our old exercise bike for our generator can I boot up the old Tandy 1000. It’s been a hectic 24 hours and I am unconvinced that the CIA doesn’t know what I am up to. We have began to build our dinosaur cloning device. I am short some materials so I will list them below, encase you can help supply them. Items crossed out are already ready to go.

1.15 empty peanut butter jars, preferably Skippy brand.

2.3000 yards of aluminum foil.

3.3 sporks.

4.500 yards of duct tape.

5.1 modern PC.

6.3000 yards of unwaxed floss.

7.3 pounds of weapons grade plutonium.

8.3 sticks of Juicy Fruit.

9.100 yards cat5 cabling.

10.2 centrifuges.

11.A microwave oven.

12.9 panels of sheet metal.

13.13 hamsters.

14.M&Ms.

15.10′ of PVC piping, 2″ diameter.

16.Frog blood.

17.1 copy of Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton

Soon with your help we will raise a mighty Tyrannosaur Army to silence our critics and enslave those who would hack into my blog to post comments! I will suppress all bloggers including that Little Lying Bitch. My mighty reptilian legions will devour all detractors including Paul Levy, Cathy Gellis, Kenneth White, Marc Randazza and Martha Stewart (because we all know you can’t bake cookies that good without a heaping scoop of evil). Once they have fallen, my army will march upon the Halls of the Oatmeal and deal him a defeat that no Pterodactyl will be able to save him from. Anyone who says different is a quack. The only people who disagree with my mighty quest are Illuminati scientist who try to convince us that some invisible force keeps us from falling off the planet into space. How the hell would you fall into space? SPACE IS UP! Liars.

Jurassic Cave Dweller,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 3:51 am

Captain Obvious is obviously…
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 15, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/15/c ... obviously/



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Who does this guy think he is? If I was a candy bar, I’d be a Mounds bar not an Almond Joy. I find the mere implication of me being a nut (especially if he means a tree nut) to be based outside of reality, slanderous, and just silly. However since Mr. Captain Obvious wants to talk about me using my god granted trademark, I will be suing him for numerous remedies including but not limited to dinosaurs. These internet people who use dark magic to create videos of me are just zombie slaves to the Illuminati. They are mindless vandals and want to create anarchy!

I’ve also been using digital forensics to track this Captain Obvious and without a doubt I can say he is this man:

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Bobby Ray Inman. Aka the Illuminati mastermind who cloned himself to create Matthew Inman. It’s the only logical answer. Anyone who says otherwise is a baboon wearing people clothes. Also while researching this Captain Obvious/Bobby Ray Inman connection I found on the internet someone saying that if you mix different colors of light together it becomes white. That’s ridiculous, to prove this false I got out my watercolors and mixed all the colors together and got black. Further proof that the Illuminati are trying to deceive us through their “science.” I tell you what, if you can’t lick it, it isn’t real. Think that over.

Internet Sleuth,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 3:52 am

The clock tolls at midnight.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 16, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/16/t ... -midnight/

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I don’t set my alarm clock for midnight. So I just don’t get this saying. I think the saying is defamatory to my clocks because anyone who utters it is spreading falsehoods. I will not stand idle while people defame me, my property, or common sense. If I could, I’d sue whoever says that. It’s right up there with the supposed “moon landing” on my pet peeves list. The moon is above us, how could an “astronaut” stand upon it and not fall down onto the Earth? There is no way that’s possible, it’s common sense. Things fall down. I mean look at the quality of the video footage? They made it look all grainy to hide the cords as they ‘hopped” around on the movie set. I might have believed them had they used a digital camcorder, but of course then you’d see the strings attached.

Look at that! The flag’s shadow doesn’t even go in the same direction as the actor. You people are all mad to believe these Illuminati lies. Their “science” is just a tool of deception and enslavement. Can you imagine if they’re willing to fake something like this, what else they are willing to fake? It’s like these wikipedia people trying to tell me there is no 5 second rule when you drop your food on the ground. It’s just common sense that when you drop food on the ground, that the germs take time to crawl all over it. Everyone knows germs have limbs. I’ll remind you, these are the same “scientist” who told me I couldn’t clone dinosaurs. I can and will clone dinosaurs, I just haven’t figured it out yet.

Truth Speaker,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 3:52 am

Get Dave!
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 17, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/17/get-dave/

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This Dave guy is supposedly linked up to the website charlescarrion.com. Now I am not 100% sure, but I am pretty sure he’s the reincarnation or clone of Dave Thomas. It’s gotten to this my dear readers (all but the hackers who comment on my blogs), these Illuminati have now begun a massive cloning program of past fast food historical figures to warp our minds and convince us to eat their hamburger lies. The CIA also controls another smiling fast food icon:

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However I can see through his ketchup colored smile right into his Illuminati lies. See how he’s trying to be a Buddhist to throw us off? I wonder what he has on under that mustard colored jumpsuit. Probably a Nazi uniform, that’s what. I should have know McDonald’s is evil. Look into his hollow zombie eyes? Mind control? Yes. Of all things I know to be true, this is the most important fact of all: You don’t put ketchup and mustard on a hamburger, you put ketchup on a hamburger and mustard on a hotdog. Proof that they’re trying to distort our sense of reality. How long have you been eating their Illuminati deception? I bet you’ve had their mustard flavored kool-aid at some point in your life. This all brings me back to their attempts to deceive the general public, a public I am trying to save by spreading the truth. Remember, if you can’t lick it, it isn’t real, but if it’s a hamburger and when you lick it, it taste like mustard, it probably isn’t real either.

You Won’t Be Lovin’ It,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 3:52 am

Dave Thomas Writes In
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 17, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/17/d ... writes-in/

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Dear Charles,

Thank you for including me in your lovely website. I have to say, I’m a bit confused. My website is a simply a piece of fiction. I created it in an effort to write some humor about a fictional character named Charles Carrion (the last name is based on the dead rotting meat that vultures feed upon).

It seems that funny songs are popular these days, so I produced a parody in the voice of my fictional character Charles Carrion. I admit, the site is a work in progress, and the writing is amateur and sophomoric at best, but it’s a hobby.

However, if you’d like to continue to list me on your curious website, please know that my FULL name is Dave Felton. I’m in advertising and I’m an entrepreneur.

Have a lovely day.

Dave

PS, While I appreciate your offer of the purchase of a bottle of vanilla for the domain name, please know that my asking price is $20,000. xoxo


You see how these Illuminati fast food clones roll? First they try to distort reality with logic and facts, then he tries to tell me his name isn’t Dave Thomas. This is ridiculous and quite frankly, I’m having none of it. Don’t be trying to shove down my throat some crazy conspiracy theory that you’re not the genetic clone of Dave Thomas. Buddy, we all know you are some test tube grown Illuminati drone sent to destroy my reputation, life, and freedom. See, I’ve been onto your tricks since you made square hamburger patties. What sort of mind fuck is that? A guy is just tripping out, wanting a burger, and they hand me a burger on a round bun with a square patty. I couldn’t stop sucking my thumb for days after that, rocking in the corner calling out for mommy. You’re and evil bastard Dave. Oh, and I hate your song.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 3:53 am

Be Heard III
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 18, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/18/be-heard-iii/

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One Concerned Soul
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One Concerned Soul, aka One Fucked-Up Soul

Dear Mr. Carreon,

My name is Richard Walls, one of the many people whose emails you published in public recently on your site. In my previous electronic letter I assumed and gave you the benefit of the doubt having faith that you would be a sensible and appreciable man who could take my honest criticism and do some good with it. I wrote to you with a sincerely positive intention and am shocked to find that my email has found its way into your ‘hatemail’ display. You are attempting, very blatantly, to draw attention to individuals who have criticized you in a negative way which is a far more obvious attempt at defamation of character than that which has been directed at yourself. This ‘wall of shame’ is unacceptably childish for an adult, much less a legal professional, and I would advise you to remove it for the sake of what remains of your reputation in the world. I was not a part of any organized attempts to harm your character, I had no interest in bringing you down, only in helping you better understand and emerge from your situation with as little harm as possible. I am not a zombie, I am not a defamer, and I am not a man who will tolerate this ridiculous attempt at internet bullying. Your publishing of my name and email address mean only enough to catch my attention, not enough to harm or cause me any personal distress, though the concept behind this sickens me. Mr. Carreon I had hoped you would be a better man than people portrayed you but you continue to exceed the stated expectations.

Attached to this you should find a photo of myself because I am not afraid to have my opinions and my words acknowledged and attributed to me so please, go ahead. You’ve got a photo to work with so I’m sure you can give me a section in your ‘rapeutationists’ page. I’ll even write the jokes for you, ‘this dirty fecal-frumper is going to have to come out of the bathroom closet someday. Its only a matter of time afterall, everyone who disagrees with me is just a sexy turd away from ending up like this fag.’ See? I put together your two favorite things, bad poop and bad gay jokes. If you don’t like that heres a handful of things I’ve accomplished you can make fun of and demonize: Debate team, practicing poet/artist, Atheist, library volunteer work with children and young adults, volunteer shelter work, Portuguese, Eagle Scout, Under 6′ tall, roleplayer, etc. I have no fear of you or your attempts to demonize myself or any other persons seeking to honestly and critically offer their thoughts to you. You, however, seem to be terrified of it. Your blog refuses comments, your posted emails have yours omitted, and you’ve made many efforts to make it difficult for you to be reached and responded to in any form. This is ineffective and frankly, disgraceful. There is one very important thing to note though, I will not come down to your level and spout out juvenile comments unintended for humor. I admittedly made light of your situation in the concluding paragraph of my email, hoping the humor might brighten your day, but I never wrote with a malicious intent towards anyone as you have and do.

I am not a hater, I am not a detractor, I am not a zombie, I am not a rapeutationist, I am not part of any organized attack. I am a concerned individual who has taken time out of their busy day to address you in the hopes that you’ll retain some rationality and come to the conclusion that your downwards spiral will get you nowhere except deeper in the pile of shit…yes, I made a poop joke, you’re not the only one who can chuckle at brown stuff.

Sincerely,

OneConcernedSoul
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 3:53 am

Be Heard IV
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 18, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/18/b ... xclude=477

Here are two letters from the secret Illuminati member Shannon. Quite frankly I can’t even figure out how Mr. Carreon was able to read her email address when she mailed him, as it was encrypted through CIA servers.

Hey SatCharles!

This is so cool! I figured the slime ball wouldn’t even take the time to read my email, much less post it for the whole world to see!! I feel so powerful right now I’m almost giddy. All of this just because I love my oatmeal!

I’ve been called many things in my 48 years on Earth, but no one has ever called me a “rapeutationist” before. I might need to get some new business cards made. I think it should be spelled with a capital R for proper reverence and effect. After all, there can be that many of us, right? I was never comfortable with the whole “soccer mom” stereotype label. OMG-the other mom’s are going to be so freaking jealous when they hear about this! Top that bitches!
I am disappointed that he didn’t answer any of my questions and that you have to scroll through almost all of the other letters to get to mine. Do you think I should write him again with a little reminder that I’m still awaiting his reply? You know us rapeutationists, if nothing else, we are a determined group! Of course, I can only speak for myself, I wouldn’t want to overstep my bounds or misrepresent myself as a “rapeutationist.” You know, if you say it slowly, it almost sounds kind of sexy in a weird, twisted way. You gotta give him credit, the guy has a way with words!

So thanks for the heads-up!

Shannon (yep-it’s my real name)

————————————————————————————————
First of all, thank you again for letting me know about this. Mr. Carreon has not made any direct contact with me even though he has my full name, city of residence and a valid email address. I have lived in the same home for 18 years, so my street address and home phone number would be easy to locate either online or in the local phone book.

Those of us here in Seattle are proud of the neighborhood we call “Funky” Fremont, also known as “The Center of the Known Universe.” The residents like to claim they started the bumper sticker revolution that asked for “Whirrled Peas” rather than world peace. They host a naked bicycle parade every year on the summer solstice that is a sight to behold. They even have a life-size troll carved under the I-5 Freeway bridge at the Fremont Exit. Matthew Inman and The Oatmeal are an important piece of the Fremont family.

I can copy any design or project but I didn’t inherit the gene to create new and magical things and I am in awe of those that can. Mr. Inman has the ability to make people laugh in a world where there is sometimes very little to laugh at. My life isn’t an easy one, I won’t bore you with the details, but I need every laugh, smile, or guffaw I can get. When FunnyJunk stole original ideas from Mr. Inman. He went through the proper channels asking them to stop. As a result, he has ended up in a big fat pile of crazy.

I was not, as Mr. Carreon claims, “marshaled into an army” nor did I try to ”besiege (my) website and send (me) a string of obscene emails.” I wouldn’t have a clue how to “besiege” any one or any thing. I have no idea what a “denial of service” attack is either. I’m just a gal from Seattle lending support to neighbor. I wrote one polite, slightly tongue-in-cheek letter asking the attorney representing Funnyjunk to explain what had happened and what was going to happen. (I also asked him his personal views of television programs such as LA Law and Mad Men, but that is neither here nor there.) My letter contained no obscenities. The idea that he is accusing me of a form of rape makes my stomach turn. His mocking of such a serious crime against humanity is vile and I believe shows his true colors.

Print this and my first letter to you if you wish. Like I have said before, I’m a big girl and can spot a bully a mile away. I speak only the truth and live my life with no regrets. Bring it on Mr. Carreon. You have been warned.

Shannon Radoll (this is my real name)

aka-Shannon in Seattle, sradoll@yahoo.com
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