by admin » Sat Jun 20, 2015 8:55 am
PART 3 OF 4
[Derren Brown] Alright, thank you. Thank you, Dave. So I'm now going to give Kris's friend, Sibley, his cue. Now the cue is to suggest to Kris that after the night that they've had, they are better off going to the shop, buying some beers, and then going back to Kris's flat. What do you, my lovely audience, want to happen when they get to the shop? Either Kris will be the shop's 5,000th customer, and win a basket full of goodies, or you can have him framed for shoplifting.
[Audience] [Laughing]
[Derren Brown] Voiceover Man, those options again, please.
[Voiceover Man] So, will you choose Option A: he's the shop's lucky 5,000th customer, or Option B: he's accused of shoplifting?
[Derren Brown] Audience, it's time for you to take control, Remote Control. So cast your votes now.
The votes have been counted, we now have 60% of you, 60% of you have chosen that he gets framed for shoplifting.
[Audience] [Cheering and clapping]
[Derren Brown] Okay, let us go to the shop and make it happen. Hello, shop, can you hear us in the shop? Fay, give us a wave if you can hear us. Fay, can you hear us? Give us a wave if you can. Stand blankly and do nothing if you can hear us. Fay, can you hear me, Fay? Fay, if you can hear me, I need you to give us a wave. Fay, give me a wave.
Hey! Alright, so we are going with the shoplifting scenario. You can lose the sashes and the hats. Repeat, lose the sashes and the hats. We are going shoplifting, we are not going 5,000th customer. Get rid of them. Okay, so I now need to give the cue to Sibley -- that's Sibley there in the orange shirt -- who is going to suggest that they now leave after the night they've had.
Very nice.
They are all looking very friendly.
That's Sibley's bag. That might be important in a minute. And off they go.
So they are going to be leaving this bar, and the shop they're heading to is only a couple of doors down. Sibley knows to make sure they go into the shop. Our shop actors are waiting.
So here's how this is going to work. All night Kris's friend Sibley has been carrying a bag. You can see him holding that bag there. And in a moment, Sibley's going to get the cue to leave the shop, but leaving the bag containing stolen goods with Kris. So once Sibley is gone, Kris is going to be accused of shoplifting. Alright. So let's go over to the shop and make it happen. So Fay, who is our shop assistant actor, Fay, can you go over and give Sibley his cue, please?
[Fay] Hello, can I help you?
[Kris] Well, we're deciding which one.
[Sibley] We're loading up on beer.
[Fay] Sorry.
[Sibley] Shit, my bladder is kicking off. I'm going to go on back and meet Tom. Look, seriously. Take that. Hold my bag. I'll see you soon.
[Derren Brown] That was his cue. He's nipping off to the loo.
[Kris] [Inaudible] Yeah, standard. Yeah, I'll see you there.
[Derren Brown] So the shopkeeper won't accuse him of anything until he comes to the till to actually pay for what he's got in the basket. And here we go.
[Shopkeeper] Is that it?
[Kris] That's it.
[Shopkeeper] Are you sure? Are you sure that's it?
[Kris] That's everything [inaudible]
[Shopkeeper] Well, what about the stuff that you put in your bag?
[Kris] It's not my bag. [Inaudible]
[Shopkeeper] No, I've seen you, just now, put something in your bag. Yes.
[Kris] What?!
[Audience] [Laughing]
[Shopkeeper] Right. You've taken that from there.
[Kris] Why would I take it? Why would I take it?
[Shopkeeper] That's right, why would you take panty liners and peas? What are you going to do with panty liners and peas?
[Audience] [Laughing, Cheering, Screaming, Clapping]
[Shopkeeper] Fay, can you lock the door? I'm going to have to call the police here.
[Derren Brown] Fay, you need to call the police.
[Shopkeeper] Call the police please, Fay.
[Kris] Because I promise I have not done anything wrong.
[Shopkeeper] For a man to nick panty liners and peas.
[Audience] [Laughter]
[Derren Brown] So the police have been called.
[Kris] I swear to you.
[Shopkeeper] Look, that's your bag, isn't it?
[Kris] That's not my bag. It's my mate's. He ran off.
[Shopkeeper] Do you know what, I think I've seen your face here before! You've been in the shop before, haven't you?
[Audience] [Laughing]
[Kris] No, I've never been in the shop before.
[Shopkeeper] I think you have.
[Kris] Never.
[Derren Brown] Okay, the police should be coming in about 20 seconds.
[Shopkeeper] Because your face does ring a bell [inaudible]
[Derren Brown] Okay, can we send in the police? They should be just around the corner. Here they come.
[Audience] [Cheering, laughing, clapping]
[Derren Brown] They'll be coming in. Of course, they'll be some CCTV footage to answer this once and for all.
[Policeman] What's your name, sir?
[Kris] My name is Kris Colbert. I'm happy to look at the security cameras to prove my innocence. Because I did not put them in there.
[Shopkeeper] Let's do it.
[Policeman] [Inaudible]
[Kris] Because I did not put them in there.
[Shopkeeper] No, no, no, don't shake my hand!
[Audience] [Laughter]
[Derren Brown] Okay, so they're off to look at some CCTV. And when they emerge, they're going to say one of two things: either there's nothing on the footage and they're going to let him off, or the footage clearly shows Kris stealing the goods, and the policemen will arrest him.
Audience, it's time for you to make your fifth decision of the night. Voiceover Man, those options again, please?
[Voiceover Man] Will you choose Option A: he gets let off scot free, or Option B: he gets arrested?
[Derren Brown] Audience, it's time for you to take Remote Control. Cast your votes now.
Thank you very much. Your votes are in, and I can now reveal to you that the majority of you have gone for the arrest.
[Audience] [Laughing, cheering and clapping]
[Derren Brown] So let's get the shop assistants, let's get Fay, the shop assistant, to cue the police and make it happen. That's the cue.
[Shopkeeper] He's just a thief. That's what he is.
[Policeman] Okay, I'll tell you what. I viewed the tape. [Inaudible] And it seems to me there's a question to answer.
[Kris] A question?
[Policeman] Yeah, it doesn't look right to me.
[Shopkeeper] He's a thief. You should be ashamed of yourself. Look at these items: panty liners and peas!
[Audience] [Laughter]
[Policeman] Hold on! Hold on! What we need to do is take you down to the station, and I'm going to [inaudible] You don't have to say anything. [Inaudible]
[Audience] [Clapping]
[Derren Brown] Oh, there he goes! Oh, they're taking him out, they're going to put him in the van.
[Audience] [Laughing]
[Derren Brown] Okay, off they go. Alright, now, he's in the van. They're taking him off to the police station. Now you remember Kris's colleague, Jenny, from earlier on? Let's get back to her now, and have her make the call with the good or the bad news. Now she's going to tell him one of two things: either she's won a brand-new TV and she's going to give it to Kris, or she's going to tell him that he's going to get fired on Monday.
[Audience] [Laughing]
[Derren Brown] Over to you, Voiceover Man!
[Voiceover Man] Will you choose Option A: he gets a brand new telly, or Option B: he's going to get fired on Monday?
[Derren Brown] Audience, it's time for you to take Remote Control. Cast your votes now!
Excellent, thank you very much, audience. You are a bunch of meanies. We have 67% have voted, and he's going to get fired.
[Audience] [Cheering and clapping]
[Derren Brown] So let's go to Jenny and make it happen. Jenny, come back. I'm sorry. The audience has spoken. So you're going to make the call. You know the story. He's in the police van at the moment.
[Jenny] Oh, he's having such a bad night!
[Derren Brown] Yes, he is having a bad night. It will be fine in the end. So do you want to give him a call, and explain to him what has happened?
[Jenny] Okay.
[Kris] Hello?
[Jenny] Hey Kris, are you alright?
[Kris] Uh, not at the minute. I'm in a police van. I can't talk now.
[Jenny] What? Are you kidding me?
[Kris] No, I genuinely can't talk now.
[Jenny] I don't believe you. But anyway, I've got some, well, some bad news for you.
[Kris] What's happening?
[Jenny] I was copied in on an email at work, it's about redundancies, and mine and your name are on the list.
[Kris] Seriously?
[Jenny] Seriously. I was supposed to have leave on Monday, I have to come back early and face the music.
[Kris] Sp we're both going on Monday?
[Jenny] Yeah, we're going to get told on Monday.
[Kris] How nice. That's beautiful.
[Jenny] I'm really sorry about that. I just thought I'd pass it on to you. Alright. Take care. I'll see you on Monday. Bye bye.
[Audience] [Clapping]
[Derren Brown] So, what was he like?
[Jenny] Uh, devastated, I think!
[Derren Brown] Excellent! So, our target, Kris, is currently being driven around by the police in the back of a van.
Now we clearly can't have the policemen take Kris to the station, mainly because they're not real policemen, and they don't work in a real police station. So instead, the police are going to get an emergency call, let him off with a caution, and drop him near his flat. But before we do that, do you want to make the next decision about his life?
[Audience] YES!!!
[Derren Brown] Alright, well, first we'll thank you Jenny.
[Inaudible] Jenny, everybody? Thank you, Jenny.
[Audience] [Cheering and clapping]
[Derren Brown] Alright. So either this evening you can end his evening here on a happy note, and let him go back to his flat where Dave will give him a 10,000 pound cash prize ...
[Audience] Woooooo!
[Derren Brown] ... or, he doesn't win the prize, and you keep things going, and have him kidnapped by a vanload of thugs ...
[Audience] [Laughing]
[Derren Brown] ... and taken to a disused warehouse.
[Audience] [Laughing]
[Derren Brown] Voiceover Man, the options please.
[Voiceover Man] Will you choose Option A: Let him go home and win a cash prize, or Option B: he gets kidnapped?
[Derren Brown] Audience, it's time for you to take Remote Control. Cast your votes now!
Okay, the votes have been locked in, and yes, we have the results. The audience are in control of Kris's life, and we'll find out which option they've chosen right after this break. See you in a few minutes.
REMOTE CONTROL
[Derren Brown] Welcome back to the final part of Remote Control, the show where the studio audience take charge of one unsuspecting person's life for a night. This evening, the audience, masked to protect their anonymity, have been remote controlling the life of 27-year-old Kris from Essex. And so far, you, the audience, have chosen to have Kris accused of pinching a girl's bum, confronted by her angry boyfriend, asked to pay for drinks he didn't order, had a pitcher of vodka spilled over him, accused of shoplifting, arrested and thrown in the back of a police van, and told that he's about to get fired. And just before the break you had the choice of Kris being given a cash prize, or being kidnapped by a gang of thugs. Now, before we find out their latest decision, we're going to go back to Kris's flat where one of our producers, Dave, has been poking around all night.
Uh, Dave, Kris has no idea that you've been there all night, has he?
[Dave] No, he has no idea.
[Derren Brown] Excellent! So let's take this to the next level and go through to the bedroom. Those are words that Dave has never heard before in his life.
[Dave] Let's have a look. Nice big bed. Let's try this one out.
[Derren Brown] Are you shouting out suggestions? What was that? Underwear drawer, they say. Underwear drawer.
[Dave] Underwear drawers? Where's that going to be? Oh, look!
[Audience Member] Put it on!
[Audience] [Laughing]
[Dave] What was that?
[Derren Brown] They said, "Put it on." Don't put it on. Don't put it on. What else we got in the room? Show us around the room? What else is in the room?
[Dave] What else have we got? We've got his wardrobe, and his special taste in clothes.
[Derren Brown] They want you to look in the bedside table, a lady was shouting out. Bedside table.
[Dave] Here, this one? Well, let's have a look.
[Audience] [Laughing and clapping]
[Audience member] Sniff his sheets!
[Derren Brown] Sniff his sheets.
[Audience] [Clapping and chanting, "Sniff his sheets"]
[Dave] Sniff his feet?
[Derren Brown] Sheets! Sniff his sheets!
[Dave] Lick his sheets?
[Audience] [Laughing]