Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen, by Shunryu

Every person is a philosopher by nature; however, we are quickly dissuaded from this delightful activity by those who call philosophy impractical. But there is nothing more practical than knowing who you are and what you think. Try it sometime.

Re: Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen, by Shu

Postby admin » Mon Jan 25, 2016 3:51 am

Brown Rice is just Right
Shunryu Suzuki Lecture
Morning Sesshin Lecture
Sunday, February 1, 1970
City Center

How do you-- how do you like zazen? [Laughs, laughter.] And maybe-- maybe better to ask you how do you like brown rice? [Laughs, laughter.] I think this is better question, you know. Zazen is too much. [Laughs, laughter.] Brown rice, I think, just right. [Laughter.] But actually not much difference. [Laughter.] Zazen has strong f- [partial word]-- zazen is strong food like brown rice. And I was very much interested in the way you eat brown rice. [Laughs.] I'm-- I'm very much impressed, you know, the way you eat brown rice.

Can you hear me?

I think you, you know, naturally, when you eat brown rice, you have to chew it. Unless you chew it, it is difficult to swallow, so you chew it very well. Your mouth, you know, looks like a part of a kitchen [laughs]. You are cooking, you know [laughter, laughing], brown rice in your mouth and to be a very good food-- tasty food. While you are, you know, chewing, actually brown rice become more and more tasty. So I think brown-- your mouth-- when you eat brown rice your mouth is kitchen. But usually, you know, I realize that usually our mouth is not kitchen when we eat. You know, we-- no-- when, for an instance, when we eat white rice, you know, we don't chew so much. We just, you know, put-- put it in our mouth and without chewing so much. And feeling is so good, so it naturally goes to our throat. So we don't chew it.

I think Japanese people, you know-- at first I understand our ancestors who are eating brown rice. But because white rice is easier to eat or taste good, so they become more interested in white rice instead of brown rice. But actually when you, you know, accustomed to brown rice, the white rice is not, you know, so tasty. We, you know-- when you put it in your mouth, we think it is good, but that's all. No more, you know, variety or no more depth of taste. But brown rice-- at first it is not so good, and it is difficult to eat-- swallow. So while you are chewing, it become more tasty. And when it become tasty, you know, you-- you hesitate to s- [partial word]-- even to swallow because it is so good [laughs, laughter]. Brown rice has that much, I think, taste in it.

That kind of, you know-- I think the brown rice is more-- much more natural to our body-- or digest-- stomach, because our mouth originally is a, you know, a kind of, you know, not just-- not just a part of organ to digest or to eat s- [partial word]-- to chew something or to taste something, but also it is a part of organ to digest things. This kind of, you know, process of digestion should start from here, from our mouths, and naturally should be carried on, you know, to our tummy. And you know, we must think more about this. When we, you know, digest completely the food, what will become of it? It will [be] carried over, changing its chemical quality. It will, you know, circulate all of our body. And what will become of our body [laughs], is, you know, sooner or later we will die. [Laughs, laughter.] And from, you know, to eat brown rice is, you know, best, you know-- you know, the most natural to our-- to us who is, you know, changing one thing to the-- to another.

Now when you eat white rice, you know, that kind of natural process will be disturbed by-- by your mouth, you know, because your mouth stop chewing it, and stop cooking it, and stop changing it to-- into something. Without changing it, your mouth will, you know, push the rice in your tummy. So there is some gap [laughs] in our organic process of activity.

This organic process is called-- in one word, we call it emptiness, you know. It is, you know, we call it-- our activity is-- rice is-- or brown rice empty because it will eventually die [laughs] with our body. But it, you know, it changes. And while it-- it is changing, it carried on-- it carries on our life energy. And this maybe called also emptiness.

Why we call it emptiness is-- it has no, you know, form-- no special form. It has some form, but that form is never-- is never permanent. And there is no end in-- in changing of its form [?]. So, you know, there is no other word than to call emptiness, you know.

We know we are empty, and we started to know now this earth is empty [laughs]. It is not permanent. We started feeling that way, you know, already. And then you may wonder, “What is this universe?” But this universe has no limit. If there is a limit to this earth, there should be something outside of it, you know.

So in one word, there is no other word, you know, emptiness-- than emptiness. So emptiness is ultimate, you know, reality. And emptiness, you know, is not something which could be understand when you, you know, make a space trip, you know. Emptiness could be understood when you are chewing rice, you know, and when you are perfectly involved in chewing brown rice. And your world is, you know, with-- with brown rice. That is, you know, actual emptiness.

But you may say that is not empty, you know. We are doing something. When you say so, we say that is illusive. You think in that way because of your illusive tendency. We have that kind of illusion. That brown rice has no form is, you know, right understanding [laughs], you know. And brown rice is always changing with us is right understanding. And, “Here is brown rice, and here is I who is chewing it,” is elusive-- illusion, which was caused by our illusive tendency of thinking.

But we-- we have to completely-- but or because, I don't know [laughs] which to say [laughs]-- we must be, you know, completely involved in, you know, chewing rice when we chew rice. When you are chewing, you know, rice, if you think of white rice, you know, which you ate at some restaurant [laughs], that is-- that is wrong practice caused by illusion-- illusive tendency of making everything substantial being. White rice doesn't exist, you know [laughs]. What-- that which exist for you right now is brown rice and you yourself. Nothing else exist. You may say, “This floor exist,” you know. “This zazen room exist.” But that is also actually illusion.

So we have to get rid of-- we have to get rid of this kind of illusive practice, or else we cannot practice right practice. And at the same time, we should accept this illusive practice too [laughs], you know. We should accept it, knowing that ii illusion, you know. To know that is illusive practice-- when you know that is illusive practice, that is not illusive practice. That is true practice. For the right practice it is illusive practice, but right practice exist because of your illusive practice. So our, you know, imperfect bad zazen is very important-- very, very important.

If you seek for-- if you try to perfect practice-- if you try to practice perfect zazen only, ignoring your illusive practice, that practice is not true practice because even though you say “pure right practice,” but that is illusion for you because that which you have is illusive [laughs]: brown rice, which doesn't taste so good. So even though-- even brown rice, if you think-- if you chew it so that we can get some delicious, you know, taste of it, that is for us also illusive practice.

So when you put brown rice in your mouth, [the fact] that you don't feel so good is, you know, there, you know, there is right practice. When you feel pain in your leg, that is the practice you have now. That is a practice you should strive for without, you know, thinking about some, you know, wonderful feeling of practice. That is illusion. So if you [are] caught by it [laughs], you know, you will lose your practice and you will hate your practice. So you lose-- you-- your practice will be completely [laughs] lost. Even though you continue that kind of practice for a thousand years, you will [not] gain anything. But even though you do not practice zazen, if you chew brown rice, if you accept brown rice and started to chew, you know, over and over, and you-- and you-- if you find true meaning of emptiness in each chew, then, you know, that is real practice. That is real zazen.

We say “Accept things as it is.” Or we say “eternal present” or “emptiness” or “buddha-nature.” The words-- meaning of those words is, you know, quite simple. Understanding our life-- positive way and negative way-- and appreciating our life moment after moment, and completely satisfied with the surrounding, completely. And continue our life in this way is, you know, our practice. And Buddhism-- Buddhism is there when we have that kind of practice.

Dogen Zenji says, you know, we like something which is not true, and we don't like something which is true [laughs]. I think that is very true [laughs, laughter]. We don't like something which is true. Something which we like is-- mostly is not true because mostly it is just idea created by yourself, you know, and which will create some difficulty for you [laughing]-- some trouble for you. And that is something by which you will be sacrificed.

So forever we are, you know-- we cannot escape from our suffering, and there is no chance for us to attain enlightenment. But if you like it, that is another matter [laughs]. If you like it, it is okay. But you should know this is not true, you know. And if you know that is not true, you know, it means you accept-- you have there reality. When you say, “That is not true,” that is reality. Or when you say, “This is true,” and “This is complete,” you know, then that is not reality any more. There no such thing exist in this world. You-- if you say, “This is permanent,” that is also not true.

Something which exist is bound to change or bound to be-- to vanish, you know. If there is something which does not, you know-- which exist forever, that is not a true-- true being. That is something-- something wrong with it or with you, you know. Maybe mo- -- [Word and sentence not finished. Tape turned over.]

To-- to make further, you know, effort to understand things, that is to deny, you know, like scientist, you know, you deny the truth you found out-- you have now, and, you know, deeper understanding of the truth is true denial. In, you know, Zen-- Zen training is famous for its, you know [laughs], for its difficult-- for its strictness. We are raised up, you know, under the scolding voice and slap.

But it does not mean you are no-- you are, you know, useless or you should, you know, you shouldn't be here-- you should go out. It means that, in other word, help-- help you, you know, to find yourself more-- to study yourself more. So we try to give you chance to find yourself more-- to study more. If you go out, you know-- if you run away [laughs], that's all, you know.

You are, you know-- you know, also-- you think if you go somewhere else, you know, you will find some good teacher [laughs]. But, you know, as long as you have that kind of attitude, you know, choosing or discriminate-- discrimination, you will not have a good teacher. It is you which is wrong [laughs], not teacher. If you met with good teacher, you know, because you cannot accept good teacher because of your discrimination, because of your lack of effort to be yourself. Actually you are escaping from yourself, but that is not possible. If that is possible, you may find out some good teacher [laughs, laughter]. But that is not possible.

So the most important point is, you know, to deny yourself and to establish yourself in its true sense without establishing yourself on your delusion. So we say, “Establish yourself on yourself, not on your delusion.” And without-- but without delusion we cannot live, we cannot practice. So delusion is necessary. But delusion is not something on which you can establish yourself. It is like a, you know, stepladder, you know. You can use it, but you shouldn't stay on stepladder [laughs, laughter]. But without it you cannot, you know, climb up.

So with this, you know, confidence you must study our way. So that is why I said, “Don't run away! Stick to me!” But it does not mean [laughs], you know, stick to me [laughs, laughter]. It means stick [to] yourself, you know, not to delusion. Sometime I may be a delusion [laughs]. You may, you know, you may overestimate [laughs]: “He is a good teacher.” That is already delusion-- a kind of delusion [laughs, laughter], you know. I am, you know, your friend, you know. I am just practicing with you as your friend who has many stepladders [laughs, laughter].

So anyway, you know, we must-- we cannot be-- we shouldn't be disappointed with bad teacher [laughing], with bad students. Bad student and bad teacher, you know-- if we-- bad teacher and bad student strive for, you know, truth will establish something real, you know. That is our zazen, you know. We must continue to practice zazen and continue to chew brown rice. Eventually, we will accomplish something.
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Re: Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen, by Shu

Postby admin » Mon Jan 25, 2016 3:51 am

The Zen of Going to the Rest Room
Shunryu Suzuki Lecture
Sunday, March 29, 1970
San Francisco
(title from book: Not Always So, p. 42)

How do you feel now? [Laughs.] Excuse me. I thought of funny thing right now [laughs]. I feel as if, you know-- I don't know how you feel, but I feel as if I-- I have finished, you know, things in restroom [laughs]. As I am pretty old, you know, I go to restroom so often. Even when I was young, I went [to] restroom more than, you know [laughs], usual person. I had, I think, some advantage, you know [laughs, laughter], because of that. When I went to tan- [partial word]-- Eiheiji and sit in tangaryo, for seven days [laughs], I could go to restroom without any guilty conscience because I had to [laughs, laughter]. I was so happy [laughs, laughter] to go to restroom. I think someth- [partial word]-- to go to restroom is something to do, you know [laughs, laughter], with our practice.

Ummon may be the first one to make some connection between our practice and restroom. “What is our practice?” Or “What is buddha?”-- someone asked him. He said, you know, “toilet paper”-- no, not toilet paper. Nowadays it is toilet paper, but he says [laughing, laughter], “something to scratch your-- scratch yourself after you-- after finishing restroom.” That is what he said. And since then, you know, many Zen masters [are] thinking about or practicing on that koan: What is toilet paper? [Laughs.] What he meant by it?

Anyway, our practice is closely related to our everyday life. Physiologically it may be-- our-- to go to-- we go-- we have to go to restroom, but psychologically I think we have to practice zazen. In our everyday life, we, you know, eat many things, good and bad: something fancy or something simple, something tasty or something tasteless like water.

But after having this kind of food in our everyday life, in term of study, but actually if you eat, you know, if you study too much without practicing zazen, our thought eventually will become very unhealthy. I think that is, at least, one reason why we practice zazen. It is necessary for us to make our mind blank before we study something. It is like a, you know, to draw something on white paper. If you-- if you don't use clean white paper, you cannot, you know, draw something which you want. Sometime you may use some colored paper, but colored paper, you know, is also originally white paper. So it is necessary for us to go back to our original state where we have no-- nothing to see, or nothing to think about. Then you will understand what you are doing, you know.

The more you practice zazen, I think, the more you will be interested in your everyday life. At the same time, you know, you will find out, you know, what is something necessary and what is not necessary-- what part should be corrected or what part should be emphasized more. So by practice you will-- you can organize your life more-- more, and at the same time you will know how to organize your life. For some purpose we organize our life, but more important thing is to observe our situation clearly. And to observe our situation clearly we should blank our mind and to start from original starting point. That is, you know, to go to restroom [laughs]. You know, if you go to restroom and get rid of old-- squeeze out [laughs, laughter] all the polluted water, then, you know, you will feel good, you know, and you will be encouraged to drink more [laughs, laughter] and to eat more.

But after you eat it, you know [laughs], you should go to restroom. The all-- what you eat will be get rid of by going to restroom or exhalation and-- inhaling and exhaling. In this way, you know, actually we keep alive. Because I feel, you know, I must say something right now, I make it, you know-- I make my idea, you know, I put some water in my idea so that I can talk [laughing] twenty minutes or thirty minutes or more [laughs, laughter].

But actually, I want you, you know, to feel how you feel after zazen. And, you know, in comparison to your everyday life-- how usual person enjoy their life-- the way to enjoy our life is completely-- may be very different-- not completely, but-- .

Usually, you know, our culture is based on some gaining idea, you know: to accumulate something. Science, for an instance, is accumulation of our knowledge, you know. Modern science-- scientist-- I-- I don't think is greater than the scientist in the 16th century. But we have-- the difference is we accumulated our scientific knowledge. And we human being knows how to accumulate it. That is good point and at the same time eventually there is-- we have some danger to bury it, you know-- to be buried underneath the accumulated knowledge [laughs, laughter]. And we have some danger, also, you know. Trying to survive without going to restroom. Actually, you know, we almost underneath [laughs, pauses, laughter]-- we are already swimming in the pond of polluted water and air. We are talking about air pollution, but that is just a picture of human being. Actually we are hardly, you know, survive in polluted knowledge.

So maybe that is okay, you know, if we know-- if each one of us know [how] to go to restroom without, you know, attaching to something you have in your body. If you have it in your body, you will become attached to it until you get rid of it. Because we think things are yours, you know, ours, we become attach to it. If we think we have everything, we will not be attached to it.

Actually, we have everything. Without going to the moon, you know, we have it. To go to-- try to go to moon means, you know, we are-- we think the moon is not ours. Our mind, as Buddha told us, is with-- with everything, or everything is our mind. Within our mind, everything exist. If we understand things in that way, then we will understand our activity. When we understand ourselves, we will try to, you know, exchange our property with something else.

To study something is to appreciate something. To appreciate something is to be detached from things. When we become detached from things, everything will be ours. Our practice is, you know, to obtain this kind of big mind-- in other word, to-- to go beyond our-- each being-- each being including ourselves, and let ourselves work as it work. That is zazen practice. And when we practice zazen, we actually clean up various attachment we have.

We are very much afraid of, you know, death. But, you know, death is something which should happen to us when we are mature enough, you know. When you are young, maybe, you will be very much afraid of death. And if you die, that is terrible thing [laughs]. Yeah, it is so, you know. But if I die, it is not so terrible thing to me and to you too, because I am matured enough, you know, to die.

So I understand our life-- my life pretty well, and I understood what is human life, you know-- what is to live one day, and what is to live one year, and what is to live, you know, sixty years or one hundred years. So you-- anyway, when you become mature, experienced things-- or when you eat, you know, many things in this life, I think you-- you will be happy to die as if you go to restroom [laughs, laughter]. Yeah, actually it happens in that way, you know.

Old man of eighty or ninety, you know, haven't not much, you know, problem-- difficulties. Physically, they may suffer, but that suffering is not so big as you see, you know. You know, it is our habit, you know, when we feel uneasy, and from, you know-- when they are young, they have been, you know, thinking about death [as] something terrible [laughs], you know, so when they are dying, you know, they think it is terrible. But actually it-- it isn't.

And there is some limit in our capacity to endure suffering-- physical suffering. And mentally we-- we have, you know, limit of capacity, but we think it is limitless. That is, you know, why we under- [partial word]-- we have limitless suffering is because we have limitless desire, you know. So that kind of desire, as Buddha said, create our problem. If you understand our life clearly, actually there is not much problem in our life. Because we do not sit, you know, and we are creating problem, one after another, we are accumulating our problems one after another with limitless desire, so we have fathomless [bottomless?] fear.

So if we only know how to clear up our mind, we will not have so much problem as usual person would have. But as-- as you go to restroom every day, you know, we have to practice zazen every day.

If, you know, zazen practice is just for-- just to have good feeling in restroom it is all right if you go once [laughs], you know. But, you know, our actual practice or need of practice is much more than that-- not to at- [partial word]-- not just to attain some freedom from things, but to continue cleaning our mind. That is absolutely necessary.

And in monastic life, the most important thing will be-- or the most good practice-- the best practice will be to clean restroom. So wherever you go, whatever monastery you may go, you will find out someone-- some special person who is cleaning restroom always. We do not, you know, clean our restroom just because it is dirty. Whether it is clean or not, you know, we should clean, you know, restroom until you can continue it-- you can do it without any idea of, you know, clean or dirty. If so, that is actually, you know, our zazen practice.

To extend our practice to everyday life is maybe difficult, but actually it is quite simple. It cannot be so difficult, but, you know, as we are lazy, you know, as we don't continue it [laughs], that laziness makes it difficult, that's all. That is why we put emphasis on endurance, or to continue it. We say there should not be any cessation of practice. Practice should go, one after another.

Some student who practice very hard, you know, zazen practice, liable to ignore our everyday life. If someone, you know, attain enlightenment, you know, someone may, you know, ignore our life: “I had attained enlightenment under some great Zen master, so whatever I do, that is okay. [Laughs.] I have complete freedom from good and bad. The only, you know-- those who do not have enlightenment experience stick to the idea of good and bad.” [Laughs.]

Saying in that way, they ignore their everyday life. They do not take care of their life. They do not how to-- they don't know how to organize their life and what kind of rhythms they should have in their own life. Old man has-- an old man has, you know, old man's rhythm of life-- way of life. Young man has, you know, young ones has their own, you know, way of life. How to know the rhythm of their own life is, you know, to-- to understand what they are doing. And if you want to understand what we are doing, it is necessary to see our activity, our life, with clear mind-- not m- [partial word]-- yeah, mind-- or through zazen experience.

Why I came to America was, you know, I was almost, you know, disgusted [laughs] with Buddhist life in Japan. You know, I have too many problems [laughs]. That is maybe why, you know, I came to America. I didn't know that, but I think perhaps [laughs] that will be the reason-- would be the reason why I came to America. But when I was, you know, in Japan, I didn't practice zazen [laughs] as I do here, as a matter of fact [laughs, laughter]. Since I came to America, you know, I have-- I don't have same problem, you know, as I had in Japan. But I had very different problem [laughs] which I had in Japan. Hmm. I have no time to explain it [laughs, laughter].

Anyway, you know, my mind is like a garbage can [laughs]. So, you know, even I am in America, which is called free country, you know [laughs], my mind is garbage can-- even though I am, you know, I am practicing-- practicing zazen with you. I am a Japanese, and I have many Japanese friends there. So I have enough problem which Japanese-- most Japanese people have [laughing]. In addition to, I have some other problem.

So sometime I-- I, you know, I wonder, you know, what am I doing here, you know. But when I know what I am doing, you know, clearly, without any overestimation or underestimation, very honestly [laughs], truly, I have not much, you know, burden in our mind-- especially zazen practice has been [sighs]-- I think will be-- the great help, you know. If I haven't had practicing zazen, you know, I wouldn't have survive in this way, you know.

Last year I was pretty weak, you know, but I am recovering even little by little. I think that is merit of zazen or because of zazen I think I can survive anyway. And, you know, I have no joy of accumulating anything, you know. But I have joy of getting rid of, you know, something dirty [laughs]. That is, you know, how-- why I can survive in this way.

I started my practice when I was pretty young, actually. But the more-- actually I think I started my practice in its true sense after I came to San Francisco. I think you have pretty difficult time with me [laughs]. I know that, you know, and I am doing, you know, something-- I am making you, you know-- making your practice difficult. But this kind of effort to understand things from another angle without communicating [with] the people who-- who is brought up [in a] quite different cultural background, I think you will understand things more clearly.

To understand things just, you know, [from] some certain egoistic personal or national viewpoint is our weak point. So we cannot develop our culture in its true sense. When our culture came to this point, only way to-- to make our culture healthy is to participate [in the] various cultural activity-- cultural activity of various human being. Then you will understand yourself better, as I understood myself better, you know-- zazen better since I came to San Francisco.

If you understand yourself better and others better, you know, there is not much to study-- just to be yourself. And just to be good American is just to be good Japanese. And just to be good Japanese is just to be, you know, to be good American. Because we stick to [laughs], you know, Japanese way or American way [laughs], our mind become wastepaper basket.

I think that is-- if you notice this point, I think how important-- you will understand how important it is to practice zazen. Maybe I am forcing you Japanese practice [laughs]. I know, you know, what I am doing [laughs, laughter]. But there is some reason, you know, why I do this. If you are ready, you know --

[Sentence not finished. Tape turned over.]

-- to get rid of various dirty things, then there is no need. But fortunately or unfortunately, even though you don't like it, we should go to restroom [laughing]-- stinky restroom. I am so sorry [laughs, laughter], but I think we have to go to restroom anyway [laughs] as long as we live.

If I am young, you know, I like to sing a Japanese folk song right now [laughs] about restroom [laughs, laughter].

Thank you very much.
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Re: Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen, by Shu

Postby admin » Mon Jan 25, 2016 3:51 am

Caring for the Soil
Shunryu Suzuki Lecture
Mahayana and Hinayana Buddhism
Sunday, January 25, 1970
San Francisco
(title from book: Not Always So, p. 47)

The difference between so-called-it Theravada Buddhism and Sarvastivadian or Hinayana and Mahayana is very important and directly, you know, concerned with our present problem. We are supposed [laughing] to be Mahayana Buddhist, but I think most of us are Hinayana, actually. There is not much Mahayana students. Almost all of us may be Hinayana or sectarian Buddhists because we study Buddhism as something which is already given to us, like Hinayana Buddhist thought Buddha already gave us-- have given us-- the wonderful teaching. So what we should do is to preserve his teaching as you like-- as you put food in refrigerator [laughs]. That is Hinayana way. And to study, you know, Buddhism is to take out food from refrigerator. So wherever you want it, it is already there. That is Hinayana way of understanding.

But Mahayana students rather interested in how to produce food from the field-- from the garden. So naturally Mahayana Buddhist, you know, put the emphasis on ground or garden which has nothing in it, you know, which you don't see anything in it. You know, if you see the garden, you don't see anything. But if you take care of seed, it will come out.

So we-- Mahayana Buddhist make our effort to, you know, to see something come out from ground. And joy of the Mahayana Buddhist is joy of take care of the garden. That is Mahayana Buddhist. So we-- Mahayana Buddhist-- that is why Mahayana Buddhist, you know, put emphasis on emptiness. Emptiness is-- is a garden where you cannot see anything. But it is, actually, mother of everything from which, you know, everything will come out.

Teaching eventually will be almost same, but our attitude towards teaching is different. So actually, Mahayana teaching and Hinayana teaching does not differ so much. And so we say, “We should practice Hinayana teaching with Mahayana spirit, with the gratitude of raising things or taking care of teaching or to appreciate teaching. How to appreciate teaching from nothing is, actually, our practice.

All of us has buddha-nature, so the teaching which will grow from the buddha-nature will be the same. But attitude is different. When you, you know-- when you think teaching is already given to you, then your effort-- naturally, you know, how to apply the teaching in this common, you know, world-- ordinary world so that, you know, they make a great effort to apply the teaching to the-- our mundane world. So that is a difficulty they had.

And the more and more the teaching is flavor or real sense. I think you-- Yoshimura Sensei told you about something-- a teaching of 20-- 12 links, you know. Did you or--[?] I think most of them listened to his lecture. And their-- Hinayana understanding of the 12 links and Mahayana understanding of it is quite different. One is, you know-- Hinayana Buddhist apply that teaching of 12 links, you know, for our actual life, you know, how we born and how we die.

But the original purpose of the teaching-- when Buddha told us the teaching, he used it to explain the interdependency of the-- of various being. So there is a big difference between the interpretation of the same teaching.

The more and more Buddha's teaching became very common and meaningless. Buddhas, you know, Buddhas-- why Buddha told us, you know-- how Buddha-- and how Buddha tried to save us is to destroy our common sense.

You know, we are not usually, you know, as a human being, we are not interested in nothingness, you know, nothingness of the ground [laughs]. If you-- you have something on-- in the garden, you will be interested in something which is on the-- in the garden. That is our tendency. But we are not so much interested in-- usual person, at least, is not interested in the bare, you know, soil. But if you, actually, if you want to have good harvest, the most important thing, of course, is to make rich soil and to cultivate the soil and to weed the soil. That is the most important thing.

The Buddha-- Buddha's teaching is about not what is there, but how it grows and how to take care of things. So he is not interested in, you know, various idea of deity, you know. But he rather interested in the deity, you know, which will grow [laughs] from the ground. So for him everything may be some holy being-- not special, you know, given deity. So he looks like atheist, you know. He doesn't-- he was not interested in some special deity, which we find out as something which is already there. He is not interested in them. But he was interested in the ground from which various gods will appear.

And this difference, you know, or lack of understanding of Buddhism result many non-Buddhist practice. For an instance, you know, in this zendo, in our group, we have, you know, officers, you know [laughs]. But, you know, officers are, you know, someone who appeared from the group, you know. So sometime, you know, officers are not someone who is, you know, the most respectable-- which our-- we must know from where he appeared [laughs]. You know, from our group he appeared, tentatively, to take care of our group. That is officer. But when we understand officers or respect officers as someone who is-- who is selected people from your group, and who is the most respectable people because he is officer, that-- that is very non- [partial word]-- un-Buddhistic understanding. As we are living as a Buddhist in this Zen center, there must be someone who should take care of-- someone should take care of our group. That is officer.

As a officer he is not, you know-- he should be grateful [1 word] as a officer, as a-- to take-- he should be interested in to take care of our group rather that someone who is respectable, who is capable, you know. There is big difference, you know, in understanding themselves and in understanding officers, you know, his-- their own understanding as a officer and people's understanding of officer.

When-- I am not blaming [laughs], you know, anyone who is in the position of officer, but I am a, you know-- as an example, I'm talking about this matter, but don't misunderstand me. When you become officer, you know, when you become officer you think you are some special person. [Laughs.] That is also very un-Buddhist-- Buddhistic idea. We-- each one of us comes out of the ground of Zen Center, you know. The ground [laughs] is the most important thing from which everyone of us comes out. So it is the ground, you know, which should be taken care of-- not the plant, you know. If the ground is good, naturally good officers will appear. So we should respect all of the members of the group. Take care of Zen Center and you yourself, as a member of Zen Center.

When you think officer is some special person, that is, you know, that understanding is to understand things, you know, as some-- to unders- [partial word]-- to have more understanding of substantiality, a concrete idea, as a officer-- officer as some special, you know, being, that is already concrete idea. Officers is something appeared from the members, you know, not special person. Cannot be any special person, because any one of you can be a officer. If members are very good, any one of you cannot-- can be a officer. But because the soil is not so good [laughs], you know, so only capable one should be officer. The fault is each one of you-- the reason why you should choose a special person. And special person should feel so bad, you know, to be appointed always same position [laughs]. “Oh, it's awful! [Laughs.] I wish someone can take my place,” you know. If they-- we are all good spirit, you know, anyone can be a officer. But that I should be always be officer is very regretful thing. The officer should understand themself in that way. Then that is very Buddhistic, you know, understanding of their position.

So Buddha says: “If people are good, good buddha will appear.” Because if people in some country, at some-- in some time are not good, they will not have good buddha. That is very interesting, you know, remark. Buddha did not think himself to be some special person. He tried to be the most common people wearing ragged robe, you know, making trip with a, you know, begging bowl, without having any special novel teaching. He just tried to be a good friend of people. That was, you know, why Buddha appear in this world, and that was what he did at his time in India.

You know, because he had that kind of spirit or understanding of world, he could be a buddha. And he thought that I am-- I have many students is because students are very good-- not Buddha himself. That is most-- the most Buddhistic understanding of teaching. But after Buddha, you know, the people respect his teaching or respect Buddha because of his-- his teaching and his character. Maybe his teaching was very good, but why his teaching was very good is his understanding of life was good. His understanding of emptiness or his understanding of people was good. And because his understanding of people was good, he loved people, and he-- he enjoy helping people. And that was why Buddha was great. [Sentence finished. Tape turned over.]

-- enjoy himself as a-- as-- because he is some special person or special sage, you know [laughs]. He enjoy himself as a friend of people. And he amazed at, you know, people's buddha-na- [partial word]-- buddha-nature, which is in each person. So it-- when he attained enlightenment, he said, “It is wonderful to see the buddha-nature in everyone of us.” That was what he said when he attained enlightenment.

And buddha-nature is not some special nature which only human being has. In Buddhism, when we say “sentient beings,” it include, you know, plants and stones and mountains and stars and the sun and everything. That is sentient being. So, in short, it is emptiness, you know. The ground from which everything comes out: stars and moon and everything comes out-- that is, you know, emptiness. That is why we call-- we put emphasis on emptiness. So emptiness could be sometime, tentatively Zen Center or America or Japan or this world or this cosmos, from which everything comes out. So purpose of our practice is how to take care of Zen Center, how to take care of America, how to take care of this world or this cosmos, and enjoy things from which appears.

I said we are mostly Hinayana Buddhists [laughs], you know, although we call ourselves-- we think ourselves Mahayana Buddhist, maybe because we don't mind [laughs] so much about precepts, or we eat feed-- meat and fish. That is why we, you may think-- because we don't mind as a Mahayana Buddhist to eat meat and to eat fish, Mahayana Buddhist is not so lazy, you know.

So we are Mahayana Buddhist. But that is not [laughing] real Mahayana Buddhist, you know. Of course, you know, Mahayana Buddhist doesn't mind so much about any special given teaching.

But we should be, you know, we should not be caught by the idea of substantiality. To be caught by idea of substantiality means, you know, to become dualistic. When we put emphasis on emptiness, you know, in emptiness there is no dualistic idea. If you, you know, start to have dualistic idea of emptiness that is not emptiness. A dualistic understanding, you know, appears when you have some idea of substantiality. When you have id- [partial word]-- some idea of duality-- priest and officer, you know-- officers-- officers and students-- that kind of idea is already very substantial-- substantial.

Because there is students, there is officer who take care of students. Without students [laughs] there is no officer. But you may think, “I was once a officer of Zen Center.” [Laughing.] He thinks, you know, he is always officer [laughs]. Very substantial, you know, idea. That kind of idea is not our idea.

In Soto school, you know, there is ridiculous things, you know, in giving some title to a person, you know [laughs]. I think only when I was in Zen Center, I am a teacher of Zen Center. I am a teacher, you know. If I go back to Japan, I don't think I can be a teacher any more because I am already too Americanized [laughs, laughter]. I don't know, you know, what is going on in America. So I cannot be a teacher, you know, if I go back to Japan. That is right, you know. I should be like that, you know.

If I think I am always teacher wherever I go, even though I join monkey teachers [laughing]-- ridiculous idea, you know. I cannot be a teacher of a monkey or monkey group or teacher of fish. That is not possible, you know. So I should not have any special title, you know. But here, today, I shall be a teacher of you, you know. I think that is real teacher.

But people, you know, very Hinayanistic people think, “I'm always teacher. I am entitled as a teacher by Soto headquarters” [laughs, laughter]. That is very, I think, Hinayanistic teach- [partial word]-- idea. And that is, I think-- that is why I don't like sectarianism. But most people, you know, involved in this kind of misunderstanding. That is why it is-- there is some difficulty in managing-- in the management of the group. If we-- we really become interested in Mahayana Buddhism, there is no problem of this kind.

Even though we are teacher and disciple, teacher and student, we are, you know, eternally friend of Buddhism. That is very important statement, I think. We are eternally, you know, friends. Tentatively, even though we have position, but we are eternally friends. This point should not be forgotten.

Thank you very much.
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Re: Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen, by Shu

Postby admin » Mon Jan 25, 2016 3:52 am

Our Everyday Life Is Like A Movie
Shunryu Suzuki Lecture
Sunday, March 15, 1970
San Francisco
(title from book: Not Always So, p. 49)

I think most of you are rather curious about what is Zen. But Zen is actually our way of life, and zazen practice is actually as-- like as you set your watch-- alarm, maybe. Unless you set your alarm, alarm clock will not serve the purpose.

So it is necessary for us to start our activity from some standpoint-- to some ground or we must have-- every day we must have starting point. Where to start is most important thing. The sun arise at certain time and setting at certain time. And the sun, you know, always repeats same thing. And we do too [laughs, laughter]. But we do not feel in that way, you know. We-- our life is not so organized, and we don't know even how important it is to-- where to know where to start our life. Zen student start our life from zazen practice. We come back to zero and start from zero. We have various activity, and how our activity arise from zero is most important thing to know, to feel, or to realize.

Usually, I think, most people practice zazen to attain something, to achieve something. But more important thing is to start, you know, to start our everyday activity-- to know where to start to everyday activity and to know how to practice zazen. When we-- before actually you practice zazen, you know, or at the moment you decided to sit, it means that you, you know, already started to set your alarm. And when you have that kind of confidence or you have made that kind of decision and start to zazen, that is zero.

And during zazen, sometime, you will hear the bird singing. That is something arise in your practice. In the same way, in our everyday life, many things will arise. But if you know where, you know-- if you know where things-- from where those things happens, you will not be disturbed by it. Because [laughs] you don't know, you know, how it happen, you lose your confidence in your life. You know, if you-- if you know how things happens to you-- ”Oh!”-- you know. And the moment something happens you will be ready for that: “Oh, something arising”-- [laughs]-- and as if your-- like you watch-- watch the sunrise: “Oh, the sun is just coming up.”

You know, anger, for an instance-- sometime you will be angry. But anger actually doesn't come all of a sudden. It comes, you know, very slowly [laughs] actually, but when you feel it comes all of sudden. That is real anger. But when you know [laughing] how it comes-- ”Oh! Anger is coming-- anger is arising in my mind”-- that is not anger. May be anger. People may say he is angry, but actually he is not angry. If you know, you know, you are almost started to crying-- ”Oh, I am crying next minute, two minutes, three minutes” [laughs]-- ”Oh, I started crying”-- that is not crying.

If you know what is zazen, you know, what is the practice, you will accept things as you accept various images in your sitting zazen. So in our zazen the most important thing is to have big mind and to accept things in your practice. And even try not to, you know, observe things how it happens to your mind.

If you practice zazen to attain some stage or enlightenment, that zazen-- like-- the man who practice that kind of zazen is-- will be the same as a man who is, you know, using alarm without setting it. It will go anyway [laughs], you know, go and go and go, until you-- until it comes to-- to some, you know, its end. It will go anyway [laughs], but, you know, it doesn't make much sense.

When you sit every morning it makes sense. You know what time it is. To know what time it is is the most important thing for us in our everyday life. To know what you are doing is the most important thing. What kind of effort you are doing and what kind of situation you are now-- that is the most important thing.

Our everyday life is like a movie, you know, which is going on wide screen, you know [laughs]. But most people may be interested in screen-- picture on the screen without realizing there is a screen [laughs, laughter]. So, you know, when, you know, you don't see anymore, you don't-- when the movie stops, you will be, you know-- when the movie stops, before it come to end maybe [you may say], “I must come again tomorrow evening” [laughs]. “I will come and see it.” And in that way, what you see is, you know, just, you know-- what you are interested in is the movie on the screen. And because you think it, it stops. You have, you know, some-- sometime you expect something for tomorrow or if-- or you will be discouraged because you don't know the screen. But if you realize-- if there is a screen, because there is screen in the movie theater-- anyway-- someone come and show you some more picture. So, you know, the most-- most important thing is to have screen in your mind [taps on something repeatedly], and that screen should be white.

The scr- [partial word]-- if the screen is colorful [laughs], you know, colorful enough to attract people [laughs, laughter], screen will not, you know, serve for the purpose. But most important thing is to have screen and to have-- not colorful-- to have plain screen, white-- pure white screen. That is the most important thing. But most people are not interested in pure white screen [laughs, laughter]. It is, I think, good thing to be excited by seeing movie. It is good, you know. But why you can enjoy the movie is, you know, to some extent you know that is movie. That is not actual, you know-- actually that kind of thing is not going.

So you have, you know-- even though you have no idea of screen, but you have-- your interest is based on, you know, some understanding of screen or machine. And you know that is something artificial. So you can enjoy it. You can enjoy something which you should enjoy, not more than that. That is how we enjoy our life. If you have no idea of screen or machine, you know, perhaps you cannot see the movie. You will do-- always do like this [laughs, laughter] [gestures: probably hiding face]. “Oh no, no, no!”

So zazen practice is, you know, necessary to know what is-- what kind of screen you have and to-- to enjoy our life as if you enjoy the movie in theater. How can you do it [is] because you have screen here [taps three times]. And you are not afraid of screen [laughs], or you don't, you know, or you do not have any particular feeling for the screen-- just-- that is just a white, you know, screen, that's all. So you are not afraid of your life at all, but, you know, you enjoy something to be afraid of [laughs]. You enjoy something, you know, which makes you angry, which-- or which makes you cry. And you enjoy cry and anger too.

But if you have no idea of screen, you know, even you will be afraid of even enlightenment. “What is it? Oh, my!” [Laughs, laughter.] If someone attained enlightenment, you know, you may ask him what kind of experience you had when you had enlightenment. “Enlightenment is this kind of experience.” “Oh, no! [Laughs.] That is not for me,” you may say.

But that is just movie, you know, something which you should enjoy. But if you want to enjoy the movie, you should know that is the combination of, you know, film and light and white screen. And most important thing is to have plain white screen. That is actually not something which you should attain, but which you have always. But why you don't have it-- you don't feel you don't have it is your mind is too busy, too busy to see, to realize it.

So once in a while, you know, you should stop all of your activity and you should make your white screen-- you make yourself sure that you have white screen. That is, you know, zazen. So that is not something to attain, but something [laughs] you must find out by practice. That is, you know, foundation of all our everyday life and foundation of all our meditation practice. Without this kind of foundation, you know, your practice will not work. All the instructions you will-- you have in our practice is to have a clean white screen as much as you can. Always, you know, it is not pure white because of various attachment to it, because of some stain previous made-- previously made for it.

We say to practice zazen is just to-- just-- when we practice zazen we are like a baby in her mother's bosom [laughs]. That is, you know, our zazen. You have no idea of anything. You are quite relaxed, but, you know, is difficult to have complete relaxation in your usual posture. That is why we take some certain posture.

This kind of instruction is necessary, and this kind of instruction is the result of various experiences of many and many people in past. And they, you know, found out this is much better than the other posture, than standing up or lying down. So according to some-- under some instruction with this kind of understanding, if you practice zazen, it will work. Whatever practice it may be, it will work. But if you do not have, or if you do not trust your own pure white paper, you cannot, you know, practice. Your practice will not work.

Thank you very much.
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Re: Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen, by Shu

Postby admin » Mon Jan 25, 2016 3:52 am

Resuming Big Mind
Shunryu Suzuki Lecture
Sesshin Lecture No. 1
Friday, February 5, 1971
San Francisco

[”For this seven-day sesshin, there are only transcriptions for lectures given on Days 1, 3, 5, 7, and the closing words. I don't know if those were the only lectures given, or the only ones recorded, or the only ones transcribed.” -- Brian Fikes.
One of the lectures on Day 2 of the sesshin, and maybe others, was given by Ryogen Yoshimura. -- Bill Redican, May 2000.]

Purpose of sesshin is to be completely one with our practice. That is purpose of sesshin. Sesshin. Sesshin means-- We use two Chinese characters for setsu. Setsu means to treat or, you know, like you treat your guests or like a teacher [student?] treat his teacher, is setsu. Another setsu is “to control” or “to arrange things in order.” Anyway, it means to have proper function of mind.

When we say “control,” something which is controlled is our five senses and will, or mind, Small Mind, Monkey Mind which should be controlled. And if-- why we control our mind is to resume to our true Big Mind. When Monkey Mind is always take over big activity of Big Mind, you know, we naturally become a monkey [laughs]. So Monkey Mind must have his boss, which is Big Mind.

And when we say “Big Mind,” then while we practice zazen, it is the Big Mind controlling the Small Mind. It is not so, you know, but only when Small Mind become calm, the Big Mind, you know, start to start its true activity. So in our everyday life, almost all the time, we are involved in activity of Small Mind. That is why we should practice zazen and we should be completely involved in this kind of practice.

Good example of our practice is, you know, a turtle, you know, which has four legs, you know, and head and tail-- and six, you know, six parts of his body is sometime outside of the shell, sometime inside [laughs]. We must have that kind of, you know, activity. Sometime, you know, our head and tail and legs should be out [laughs], or else you cannot eat or anything. You cannot walk. So when you want to eat or go out [laughs, laughter], four legs should be out. [Laughs.] But if it is always out, you will be caught by something [laughs]. So, you know, in case of danger, you know, you should [laughs] draw up all the legs and head and tail. This is sesshin [laughs, laughter]. For, you know, one week our [laughs] head and tail and legs should be inside of the shell. Then, you know, no one can catch you [laughter, laughs]. In scripture said even demon or devil cannot destroy you if you, you know, are inside of the shell-- if your six parts of your body inside of-- actually, six means five senses and, you know, mind.

But in zazen we do not try to stop thinking, you know, or we do not try to listen or hear or see anything. But we, you know-- if something appears in your mind, leave it, you know. And if you hear something, you should hear it, and you should just accept it, you know. “Oh [laughs], that's all.” No second activity appears in your zazen-- should not appear. Sound-- that is one activity. Second one is, “What is the sound? Is a motor car or, you know, or garbage car, or something?” you know. That is second notion, second activity. If you hear it, that's all, you know. You hear. If you see, that's all. You have no-- you don't make any judgment. You do not figure out what it is. Just open your eyes and see something. Maybe when you practice zazen, you may, you know, try to make some sense by what you are watching, you know. What, or “It looks like river” [laughs]. “It looks like dragon” [laughs]. While you are thinking, you should not do so, you know [laughs]. When you are sitting pretty long time, you know, watching same place [laughs, laughter], it may look like, you know, various things [laughs, laughter]. It may be good idea, you know, to kill time [laughs], but it is not sesshin.

It may be good idea to be concentrated on something, you know, but to have good-concentrated mind is not zazen, you know. It is not zazen. Of course, it is one of the many elements of the practice, but calmness of mind is necessary, and you shouldn't intensify five sense organs' activity. You should just leave your sense organs as they are. That is how you free your true mind, or how you open your true mind. Only when you can do so in everyday life you will have soft mind. You don't have not much preconceived idea. Some bad habit of your way of thinking will not appear so strongly. It will appear, but it will not appear so strongly. And you will have generous mind and Big Mind, and what you will say will help others.

I think you have Zuimonki. If you read Zuimonki, you will understand why we practice zazen. One night, he [Dogen] talked to his students and said, “This story is-- the story I was told by someone, so I am not sure if that is correct or not.” But he said some influential person, Ichijo Motoie, you know, maybe his-- he may not be his direct relative but was one of the many relative. One day his sword was stolen, you know, and they knew that no one else couldn't broke into, so they thought some of his men must have stolen it. So naturally they tried to find out, and the sword was found and took back to him. But Motoie said, “This is not my sword [laughs], this isn't-- so give it back to someone who own it. This is not mine,” he said. But most of the people knew that that man who had it had stolen that sword, but because he said he did not accuse of it, so no one couldn't say anything. So, you know [laughs], nothing happened [laughs, laughter]. That kind of, you know, calmness of mind is the mind we should have, he says.

And he emphasize, you know, life of bare life, you know. Hardly support him to live-- something poor, you know-- a bare life. Without expecting anything, just practice our way. But many student asked him why that is possible, you know, without any plan-- just to live and just to practice zazen, how is it possible to support his temple or his group? But he said, “When it is difficult to support our temple, we will think about it. But [laughs] until then, it is not necessary to think about it.” [Laughs, laughter.]

So before something happens, to think about it too much is not our way. If we have generous Big Mind and if we have strong spirit of practice, then, you know, there is no need to worry about anything. That is the way how we have complete calmness of your mind. Because you have something, you should worry about it, but if you don't, there is no need to worry about losing it.

One night he said, “Even some teaching you think it is complete and right teaching, even though you think so, there may be someone who tell you better way. Then, you know, you should change your understanding of the teaching.” In this way, we should improve our understanding of the teaching forever. That is our way. So even something you think which is completely right, you know, you shouldn't stick to it. It is right at that time, so because you think so, you followed the theory or rules, but you have some, you know, space in your mind to change the idea. That is soft mind [laughs].

Why, you know, is it possible for you to change your idea, you know, is because you know what kind of monkey is thinking [laughs, laughter]. So sometime he may follow monkey's suggestion-- ”Oh yeah [laughs, laughter], that's right [laughs]. If we go that direction, we may have some food. Okay, let's go!” [Laughs, laughter.] But if there is something better [laughs], he may say, “Oh monkey, maybe better to go this way!” [Laughs, laughter.] Because he is naturally he is a monkey, he may follow, you know. But if you stick to, you know, your greed or anger or some vulgar, you know, emotional mind, stick to the thinking mind, monkey mind, he cannot change his former notion.

So in our practice, we should rely on something great. So in that great area we should, you know, sit. The pain you have in your legs or some difficulty you have when you are sitting is something happened-- something happened-- something may happen in the great area. But as long as you do not lose the feeling that you are in the area of buddha-nature, you can sit, you know, even though you have some difficulties. But when you want to escape from it, or when you try to improve your practice or improve your being in that big area, that is-- it means you created another problem for your being. But if you just exist there, then you will have chance to appreciate something which surround yourself, and you can accept yourself completely, without changing anything. That is our practice.

So it is a kind of belief or faith which is, of course, different from usual faith to believe in some concrete idea or being. But believing something which is supporting us and supporting all our activities-- thinking mind or emotional feeling. All those things are actually supported by something big which has no form or color. Which is impossible to know what it is, but something exist there, not in the sense of material or spiritual, but something not material or not spiritual. We say “spiritual or material,” but it is something more than that. Something like that always exist, and we exist in that area. When you feel in that way, that is right pure thinking. You feel in that way, that is pure feeling of being. Every activity should start from this, you know, kind of feeling.

When I was young, you know, many Zen masters says, “What is Buddha? Buddha is something which make bamboo bamboo [laughs], which make bamboo long [laughs], which make stone round.” That is [laughs] buddha-nature, they said. I couldn't understand [laughs] because I wanted to figure out what it is, you know [laughs], and I didn't feel so good if I cannot, you know, figure out what it is in usual sense: big or small, right or wrong, good or bad. But if you practice zazen, and, on the other hand, if you realize how foolish we are, you know, if you see yourself like animals in the zoo [laughs, laughter], then you will understand who you are. Each time I go to the zoo, you know, I think, you know, animals may be very much interested of human being, or American people who is black, white [laughs], yellow, and many Americans, you know. I am [laughs] American too, you know. “Oh, he is also American! [Laughs, laughter.] How strange American he is!” [Laughs.] They may, you know, enjoy us, you know. Animals in San Francisco Zoo is very lucky, you know. [Finished sentence. Tape change.] If they are in Japan, you know, they always may see small [laughs, laughter] human being-- small and short leg [laughs, laughter]. Not so interesting at all [laughs, laughter].

I don't say you should fool yourself, you know. It is exactly so [laughs]. But usually you say, “I am an American [laughs],” or, “I am a human being. So it is alright for us to kill animals, to eat animal.” But that is not right. Maybe we have to eat, but, you know, it is not right. But while you are repeating the same thing, you know, you use, you know, you begin to think in that way. So you lose your pure thinking, pure observation of yourself.

If you practice zazen, if you are brave enough to throw yourself on the floor, you know [laughs], for seven days [laughs], you may be a little bit better-- not too much, but [laughs, laughter] but that little bit is very important, you know. That little bit understanding will help your rigidness, you know, your stubbornness. Almost all the problems we create because of our stubborn mind will be vanish.

But actually, zazen help us not so much, you know, not so much. But if you know how to help yourself, you know, and if you know how valuable it is, if you have even smallest, you know, understanding of the reality, your, you know, way of thinking will completely change, and the problem you create will not be problem anymore. But as long as we live we have problem. And that is also true [laughs]. So you shouldn't think-- you shouldn't practice zazen to, you know, attain some big enlightenment which will change your whole being [laughs]. That is not right understanding. That maybe so-called-it, you know, “Zen,” you know, but true Zen is not like that.

Zen does not include all the teaching of Buddhism, but Zen-- this kind of understanding will save various labor of studying so many scriptures. If you understand little bit of this, you know, if you read scriptures, it will make sense. You don't have to, you know, seek some truth in the scriptures we have. We even try to read all the scriptures. It maybe whole life job to read our scripture once, but if you don't know the point, you know, you have to, you know, seek for the truth in the scripture. If you know this point, all the scripture you will read will help you, will be a good nourishment for us.

In this sesshin, I think we will be concentrated to have experience or to have real experience of true practice. Forgetting all about gaining idea, we should just sit here. If this room is too cold, we will make it warm, and if your legs become painful, you can stretch your legs. And if it is too difficult, you know, you can rest, but we should continue our practice for seven days.

Thank you very much.
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Re: Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen, by Shu

Postby admin » Mon Jan 25, 2016 3:52 am

Ordinary Mind, Buddha Mind
Shunryu Suzuki Lecture
Sunday, March 30, 1969
(title from book: Not Always So, p. 58)

[The point of] -- my talk is just to give you some help in your practice. So it is just help, you know. So there's, as I always say, there is no need for you to remember what I said as something definite, you know. I'm just trying to help you, so it is just support of your [laughs] practice. So if you stick to it, it means that you stick to the support-- not, you know, tree itself. You know, a tree, when it is strong enough, it may want some support. But the most important one is the tree itself, not support.

I have, you know, I am one tree, and each one of you are a tree of itself. And by itself, you should, you know, stand up. And when one tree stand up by itself, we call that tree a buddha. In other word, when you, you know, practice zazen in its true sense, you are really buddha. So buddha and tree is one, in that sense. It may be sometime we call it a tree; sometime we call it a buddha. “Buddha” or “tree” or “you” is many names of one buddha.

When you sit, you know, you are independent from various being, and you are related to various being. And when you have perfect composure in your practice, it means that you include everything. You are not just you. You are whole world or whole cosmos, and you are a buddha. So when you sit, you are ordinary man, and you are buddha. So in this sense, you are both ordinary man, ordinary man, and buddha. So you are not just ordinary man-- ordinary man. Before you sit, you know, stick to the idea of “you” or idea of self. That is sheer [fear?] old [?] ordinary man. But when you sit, you are both, you know, ordinary man and buddha. So you are not the same being. When you sit you are not same being before you sit. Do [laughs] you understand? Because, when you sit, you are ordinary man and buddha.

You may say it is not possible to be ordinary and holy [laughs]. You may think so. When you think so, your understanding is, we say, heretic understanding or one-sided understanding. We should understand everything, not just from one standpoint. We call someone who understand things from just one side, we call him “tamban-kan.” Tamban-kan in Chinese or Japanese means “a man who carry a board on his shoulder.” Because he carry a big, you know, board on his shoulder this way, he cannot [laughs] see the other side [laughs]. He is always, you know, carrying big board on his shoulder. Almost all the people are carrying big board [laughter, laughs], so he cannot see the other side. He thinks he is just ordinary man, but, you know, if he take off the board, he will understand, “Oh, I am buddha, too [laughs]. How come to be a buddha and ordinary man? It is amazing,” he may say. That is enlightenment.

So when you experience enlightenment, or when you are enlightened, you will understand things more freely. You don't mind whatever people call you. “Ordinary man.” “Okay, I am ordinary man [laughs].” “You are buddha?” “Yes, I am buddha,” you know. How come to be a buddha and ordinary man?” “Oh, I don't know why, but actually I am buddha and ordinary man.” [Laughs.] Doesn't matter. Whatever they say [laughs], that is all right.

The buddha, in its true sense, is not just different, special one from ordinary man. So ordinary man, in its true sense, is not someone who is not holy or who is not buddha. This is complete understanding of ourselves. With this understanding, if we practice zazen [laughs], if we practice zazen, that is true zazen. You will not be bothered by anything. Whatever you hear, whatever you see, that is okay. Actually, but before you have this kind of actual feeling, of course it is necessary to be accustomed to our practice. Although intellectually we understand ourselves, but if we haven't actual feeling with it, then it is not so, you know, powerful. And so that is why you must keep on our practice. If you keep practicing our way, naturally, you know, you will have this understanding and this feeling-- actual feeling, too.

Even though we use-- we can explain what is Buddhism, if you do not have the actual feeling with it, we, you know, cannot call him real Buddhist. Only when you, you know, your personality is characterized [by this] kind of feeling we call him a Buddhist. How we, you know, characterize ourselves by this kind of understanding or practice is always, you know-- it is necessary, you know, for us to be always concentrated on this point.

It is rather difficult to explain how to be concentrated on this point. There are many koans and saying on this point. And those saying looks like very different, but [laughs] actually they are all the same. Ordinary mind is tao, you know. Ordinary mind is tao, you know. Even though we are doing quite usual things, whenever we do something, that is actually Buddha's activity-- Buddha's activity, but our activity [laughs], you know. Ordinary mind is tao. Buddha's mind, Buddha's activity, and our activity are not different.

Someone may say our activity is originated or based on Buddha's mind. And Buddha's mind is “such and such” is Buddha's mind, and the “so and so” is ordinary mind. You may, you know, say various explanation [laughs], but there is no need, you know, to explain in that way. Whatever we do, you know, if we, you know, do something we cannot say, “I am doing something,” you know, because there is no one independent from, separated from, the others. When we do [thumps stick on table] something, you know, it makes sound [laughs]. What is the sound? [Taps stick once per word.] When I say something, you are hearing it. So I cannot do, you know, anything by myself, just for myself. That is actually what we are doing, so I cannot say I am doing something. Everyone-- if someone do something, everyone is cooperated. And everyone will do something. So there is no explanation [laughs], actually, you know. So just [thumps stick] minute-- moment after moment [thumps stick], we should continue this kind of activity, which is Buddha's activity.

But you cannot say this is just Buddha's activity, because you are [thumps stick] doing actually [laughs]. You may say then, I don't know what I-- who is doing what. But why you say, “Who is doing what?” you know. You wanted to limit your activity, you want to intellectualize your activity, that's all, you know. So before you say something, the actual [thumps stick] activity is here. That is, you know, actually who we are. We are Buddha, and we are each one of us [laughs].

Our activity is cosmic activity and personal activity. So there is no need to explain what we are doing. When you want to explain it, that is all right, but we should not think if we cannot understand it, you know, because of we-- because it is impossible to understand it you should not feel uneasy. You know, actual you are here, right here. So before you don't [thumps stick] understand yourself, you are you, you know. After you understand it, you are not you anymore [laughs].

But usually you stick to who is not you, which is not you, and you ignore, you know [laughs], the reality. And you feel uneasy with the reality, and you feel something, some satisfaction, you know, which is not real. As Dogen Zenji said, you know, we human being attach to something which is not real and forget all about which is real [laughs]. That is actually what we are doing. If you realize this point, you will have perfect composure in yourself, and you can trust, you know, yourself. Whatever happen to you, it doesn't matter. You can trust yourself.

That belief or that trust is not usual trust or usual belief in [that] which is not true, [that] which is not real. So when, you know, you are able to sit without, you know, being attached to any image or any sound, with open mind, that is true practice. And that you can do that means you are [have] already absolute freedom from everything.

Right now I am put emphasis on, you know, one side of the truth. But it is all right with you to have, you know, to enjoy your life moment after moment because you are not enjoy your life as something which is concrete and eternal. Our life is momentary, and, at the same time, each moment, you know, include its own past and future. Next moment will include its own past and future. In this way, our momentary and eternal life will continue. This is, you know, how we lead our everyday life, how we enjoy our everyday life, and how we get freedom from various difficulties. How we not suffer from difficulties and how we enjoy our life, moment after moment, is our practice, based on true understanding.

I was in bed for a long time, and I was thinking about those things, you know. I am just practicing zazen in bed [laughs, laughter]. I should enjoy my bed [laughs]. Sometime it was difficult, but [laughs, laughter] if it is difficult, I laughed at myself. “Why is it so difficult?” [Laughs, laughter.] “Why don't you enjoy,” you know, “your difficulty?” [Laughs.] That is, I think, our practice.

Thank you very much.
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Re: Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen, by Shu

Postby admin » Mon Jan 25, 2016 3:53 am

Supported from Within
Shunryu Suzuki Lecture
Ekō Lecture 4
The Second Morning Eko, Part 3 of 3
Sunday, July 12, 1970
Tassajara
(title from book: Not Always So, p. 65)

[This is the fourth in a series of six lectures by Suzuki on the four ekos chanted at the conclusion of morning services at San Francisco Zen Center and other Soto Zen temples and monasteries.

The Second Morning Eko:
Choka ogu fugin

Line 1. Aogi koi negawakuwa shokan, fushite kanno o taretamae.
Line 2. Jorai, Maka Hannyaharamita Shingyo o fujusu, atsumuru
tokoro no kudoku wa,
Line 3. jippo joju no sambo, kakai muryo no kensho,
Line 4. juroku dai arakan, issai no ogu burui kenzoku ni eko su.
Line 5. Koinego tokoro wa,
Line 6. sanmyo rokutsu, mappo o shobo ni kaeshi goriki hachige,
gunjo o musho ni michibiki.
Line 7. Sammon no nirin tsuneni tenji, kokudo no sansai nagaku sho
sen koto o.

Dedication for the Morning Service Arhat's Sutra

Line 1. May Buddha observe [see?] us and respond.
Line 2. Thus, as we chant the Maha Prajna Paramita Hridaya Sutra,
we dedicate the collected merit to
Line 3. the all-pervading, ever-present Triple Treasure,
the innumerable wise men in the ocean of enlightenment,
Line 4. the sixteen great arhats and all other arhats.
Line 5. May it be that
Line 6. with the Three Insights and the Six Universal Powers,
the true teaching be restored in the age of decline.
With the Five Powers and Eight Ways of Liberation,
may all sentient beings be led to nirvana.
Line 7. May the two wheels of this temple forever turn
and this country always avert the Three Calamities.]

In the second recitation of the Prajna Paramita Sutra, we dedicate for the-- to the arhats and many various sages in the-- in the world. And what we pray is-- what we pray is-- this is the translation Mel [Weitsman] and I did. “What we pray is that the wisdom-- that the wisdom-- and Three Wisdom-- and the Six Unrestruct- [partial word]-- Unrestricted Ways of the arhats.”

Three Wisdom-- we explain the Three Wisdom. “And the Six Unrestrict-- [partial word]-- Unrestr- [partial word]-- Unrestricted Ways of the arhats may be always with us in our unceas-[partial word]-- unceasing effort to renew Buddha's way to save all sentient beings from the world of suffering and confusion.” “World of suffering and confusion” means the mappo. “And to keep Buddha's way always new to our-- always-- our al- [partial word]-- world always.” That is the spirit of Dogen.

We understand the three period of Buddhism is just the skillful means of Buddha to encourage people to practice our way. And next: “And we encourage ourselves, and we pray to-- we pray to arhats to encourage ourselves, to continue our practice, even in our adversity, and keep the wheel of dharma turning forever, and to avert disasters of fire, water, and wind, and calamities of war, epidemics, and famine. That is, actually, what it says in this eko. After reciting sutra we recite-- ek- [partial word]-- doan recite eko, as you know.

And I-- I have to explain more about what we pray in this-- the second paragraph of the eko. Actually we-- it is-- according to the usual way of observing ceremony, we Zen Buddhist apply the usual way of prayer. But, according to Dogen Zenji, there is no need for us to expect help from outside. He says: “We are protected, actually, from inside firmly, so we don't have to expect any protect from outside.” That is his spirit. Nyingmo sude ni sakan nare kemo nan somata. We are protected from inside, you know, by ourselves, always, incessantly.

So, we don't have to expect any help from, you know, outside. But actually, it is so-- our belief is so, but, when we recite sutra, we follow the usual-- we apply usually-- usual dedication-- way of dedication. And this is also Dogen's, you know, idea. He says-- for an instance-- I cannot find out his word regarding-- We, you know, ac- [partial word: actually?]-- we do not have any idea of dirty or pure, or any idea of calamity or disaster. But even so, he says, we have, you know, practice of cleaning restroom, you know. That is a kind of practice. We clean our body, you know, because our body is filthy, you know. Even though, you know, we-- our face, or mouth, or body is clean, we sh- [partial word: should?]-- when-- if you get up, you should wash your face, and rinse clean your mouth, you know, even though it is clean. We do it as a practice, you know, but not because it is dirty. That is our practice.

So, if you think, you know, to cleaning of [to clean] restroom is dirty work, that is wrong-- wrong idea. Restroom is not dirty. Clean. Even though you don't clean it, it is clean. Or more than clean. But, you know, even-- but we have to clean it as a practice, not because it is dirty. If you do it because it is dirty-- if you think you have to clean it because it is dirty, that is not our way.

[Line 6. sanmyo rokutsu, mappo o shobo ni kaeshi goriki hachige,
gunjo o musho ni michibiki.]

So far we explained goriki and hachige. And next word is gunjo o musho ni michibiki. Gunjo means “all sentient beings.” Gun is “various folk” of [or] “folks,” you know. Jo means “living being.” So it means “sentient being.” Musho means “arhatship”-- another name of arhat. Gunjo. But here it means “sentient being who is [in] confusion and suffering.” Gunjo o musho: “to lead sentient beings who is in defilement to the arhatship by the power of unrestricted power of arhat.”

[Line 7. Sammon no nirin tsuneni tenji, kokudo no sansai nagaku sho
sen koto o.]

And Sammon no nirin. Sammon means “the main gate of the temple,” but sometime it means-- sammon-- means “temple.” Sometime it is one of the building which is gate, but sometime it means “temple”-- all the temple. Sammon no nirin. Nirin is “two wheels.” Two wheel is dharma wheel and-- and alms wheel or materialistic support.

So when dharma wheel is turning, you know, our belief is if the dharma wheel is turning-- going, then the materialistic wheel will be, you know, will-- will be going, too. That-- that we are not supported by anyone means our dharma wheel, actually, is not going [laughs]. So we should know that. If our dharma wheel doesn't go-- if we are not supported by people, it means that our dharma wheel is not going. This is very true.

I-- you know-- I have-- you know-- I-- since I know this world of Dogen Zenji, I experienced it, I tested whether [laughs] it is true or not. So I-- even when I was in, you know, when I was almost, you know, especially in the-- during the war, wartime, I had not much to eat [laughs]. Most priest, you know, worked to earn some money to support themselves and to support their families. But my belief was if I, you know, observe Buddhist way, faithfully, someone will support me, you know. If no one support me, it means that Dogen's world was not true [laughs, laughter]. So I never ask anyone to give anything to me, and I just observed the Buddhist way, without working in, you know, as a teacher, or as a clerk of the town office [laughs, laughter], or I-- I raised some vegetables and sweet potato [laughs]. That is why I know how to raise vegetables [laughs] pretty well.

When I was cultivating temple garden, you know, I have pretty spacious temple garden in front of the building, so I dig the garden out, and took out all the stones, and put manure in it, and I raised, you know sweet-- I was trying to raise sweet potato, and some [laughing] villagers came and helped me too. And I had a good crop.

And one day, my neighbor came and opened my rice box, you know. I had rice box as much-- as big as this [probably gesturing to students] and as long as this. Pretty big. One day, they came and-- came to help me cooking. When they opened the rice box, there was no rice at all [laughing]. She was quite astonish-- astound, and she, you know, brought me some rice-- not much, you know. She didn't have so much rice. And, you know, my neighbors and my members collected some rice, you know. But I had pretty many members, so I had a half, maybe [probably indicating that the rice-box was half-filled]-- pretty many rice. But, you know, when people found out that I have a-- a lot of rice [laughs], they come to the temple. So I gave it-- gave my rice to them. And the more I gave my rice to them, the more I got the rice [laughs, laughter].

But at the time, Japanese people had a awful time, you know. At that time, most people-- city people went to the farmer's family and [ex]changed their dressing [dresses], or geta, or whatever it may be. Something good was changed to food: potato, or rice, or sweet potato, or pumpkin. But I had no difficult- [partial word]-- no such difficulties. Most of the time, I had a plenty of food. But I didn't feel so good, you know, to eat something special, something different from the usual people, so I tried to eat the same food which was given to us.

The Tassajara food, you know, is wonderful, you know: strong and rich, in comparison to the food we had in the wartime. So I-- I don't have any complaint about food. And, if you observe our way strictly, we will be-- we are sure to be protected by Buddha. That is very true. We should-- should trust people, and we should trust Buddha. Since then, since wartime, Japanese priest started to wear, you know, your suit, you know, giving up robes-- not give up, but when they have funeral service [laughs], or memorial service, they wear it, you know, to observe service. But usually they didn't. I didn't feel so good about that, you know. So that is why I didn't, you know-- I don't wear-- that is why I always wear robes.

When I was coming to America, you know, almost all the priests who is going abroad wear, you know, good suits and shiny shoes [laughs, laughter], but the head was not shiny, their hair was pretty long and well-combed, but their shoes were very shiny. With shiny shoes and new suits [laughs, laughter], they came to America, because, you know, they thought to propagate Buddhism to America. They have to wear something-- they have to be like-- something like American people. But, even though they wear-- they buy best suits and best shoes, Japanese are Japanese. They cannot be American people anyway. And the American people will find some fault in your wearing-- way of wearing your suits or shoes. So, anyway, Japanese are Japanese, you know.

So that is one reason why I didn't come to America in, you know, suits. Another reason is I was disgusted with the priest who gave up robe and change their robe into suits to support themselves. When Dogen said: “We are protected from within, firmly, why do-- do we expect support from outside?” That is our spirit. But [laughs] nowadays they started to lose that kind of spirit. The priests in Japan-- most priests, I may say, in Japan, does not respect their way, their practice.

So we should [not?] expect from-- material support from outside, but what we-- here it says, what we pray is dharma wheel and alms-- and-- what do you call it?-- material fre- [partial word]-- wheel goes smoothly forever. But to-- to observe this kind of ceremony is important. Not because we have to beg arhats to help us, but because that is the way which we have [been] observing for long, long time. And this is, you know, how to repay the-- to the bene- [partial word]-- benevolence of the Buddha and arhats. Buddha and arhats are the people who, you know, supported themselves by their practice only, so if we observe, if we pay full respect to the arhat we will be also protected.

Sammon no nirin. Sammon no nirin. “Two wheels of Budd- [partial word]-- temple will-- may go smoothly.” We say: “-- food wheel and dharma wheel may go smoothly, and may the calamities of the country and the temple”-- calamity like war, epidemic, and famine, or fire, water, wind. And big calamity is the calamity we will have in the last period of-- kalpa-- time. Many eons of time after all the universe will have big disaster-- disaster, then we say koka.

To some extent, you know, our universe will, you know, will-- will go on and on and will be built firmly, and firmer and firmer, until some-- when we-- when the universe go to some point, it will go to the destructive-- it will enter into the process of destruction. That is also, you know, a kind of good means of Buddha.

We don't know-- to-- you know-- if you-- if we are going to the way of destruction, personally, we-- from the time we were-- we were born, we are going to the-- we are in the process of death [laughs], you know, but that is just our understanding. But at the last period of time we will have big disaster. That is the “big disaster.” The “small disaster” will be war, and epidemics, and famine, or flood, or fire, and the typhoon or hurricane. “May those, you know, disasters avert from us.” That is how we-- what we decide in the second-- in the second dedication-- dedication of the Prajna Paramita Sutra. Words is going this way, you know: “I pray, I beg, may such-and-such,” but spirit is different.

So in-- when you recite sutra, you should express this spirit, you know. We should not, you know, observe our way or recite our sutra to ask arhat to help us, you know. That is not our spirit. When we recite sutra, the feeling we create here is the feeling of non-duality, perfect calmness, and strong conviction in our practice. That kind of feeling should be always with us. If that kind of feeling [is] always with us, we will be supported anyway.

If our practice, you know, become involved in dualistic, selfish practice to support our building, or organization, or to support our personal life, you know, there is not much feeling in our dedication. Only when, you know, we have strong confidence in our way, and without expecting anything, with, you know, deep, calm feeling, if we recite sutra, there there is our rea- [partial word: real?]-- actual practice. That is, you know, context of our practice-- meaning of practice.

So if you cannot express that kind of feeling in your way of dedication, that is not our way. So Dogen says: “If we do not practice our way with, you know, with everyone, with all sentient beings, with every being in the world, or in the cosmic space, that is not Buddhist way.”

So the spirit of zazen, you know, the zazen practice, should be always with us, especially when we recite sutra or observe ceremony. The spirit should be always there, that kind of spirit: not dualistic selfish spirit, but calm, and deep, and firm-- with firm conviction, we should observe our way. That is actually arhat's unrestricted power.

So to clairvoyance or to hear something, you know, through or from distant, is just a part of our power-- unrestricted power. Our power should be always with all beings, and our everyday life should be protected-- that kind of power which pervade everywhere-- which is everywhere. That is, you know, the last unrestricted power of arhat and the most important unrest- [partial word: unrestricted?]-- power of arhat.

When we observe our way in that way, you know -- [Tape turned over. Possibly not many words lost.] -- even though you want to create karma in that way, that is not possible. Because we are always with us, we are always one with all buddha-world, where there is no karmic activity. That which is going in the world of Buddha is just, you know, Buddha activity, there is nothing but Buddha activity in the realm of dharma world. In that way, when we observe our way, we do not create any karma. We are beyond the karmic world. So with this spirit, and with this understanding, we should observe our way. So when we observe our way in this-- with this understanding, there must be actual spirit of this kind.

Nowadays, you know, as our world become busier and busier, you know, even in a big monastery in Japan, they have not much [laughs] time to dedicate, you know, our way, you know, without any idea of time. So, you know, their doan is watching always time [laughs, laughter]-- time to, maybe-- ”How many memorial service we may have?” [laughs], or “Ten more service, then it will be-- will be-- our breakfast will be-- very late, so, let's make it faster [laughing, laughter]. It become faster and faster!

As we know, you know, how much-- before we start morning service, we know how much service we will have, so from the beginning, we-- we s- [partial word: say?]: Maka Hannyaharamita Shingyo [chanting very fast]-- GONG! [Laughs, laughter.]

They may think, you know, if they recite many sutras, they will be supported better [laughing], but actually it is not so. It is same, you know. Even though you cannot observe memorial service, ten [times]-- but if you observe, you know, with the-- with our spirit, one or two, we'll be supported anyway, you know.

If we are involved in the idea of time too much, you know, or feeling of the members too much, we will lose our way, and in this way, we lose our way, we lose our practice. And naturally, people lose Buddhism, you know. Our members thinks we have our priest, but priest is not any more priest because they are already involved in dualistic practice-- involved in busy life, busy world, busy mundane world-- so there is no priest, you know. Even though priest is there, they are not practicing priest way.

So, we say, “They're-- they cover their pan with-- you know [laughing], cover of bathroom.” They mixed up, you know, worldly practice and priest practice. That is how we lose our way. So when priest observe our way like priest, there is priest. When we do not observe our way like priest, we are, you know, “cover of the restroom” [laughs], not cover of the pots and pan.

“To help others” mean-- does not mean to help others for their convenience sake. Maybe, you know, priests may be the most troublesome people [laughs]. May be very difficult to handle. Even they offer, you know, million dollar, they may say “oh, thank you.” Even one penny, they will “thank you.” They will say “thank you,” that's all. It is very hard-- difficult to handle.

That is, you know, when-- when-- when people wants real priest, they should handle priest carefully. They shouldn't mixed up, you know, priest with someone else. Though we should not lose this confidence within ourselves, we don't have to say, you know, in-- by words, but within ourselves we must have strong confidence in Buddha's way, and we should be supported from within, not from outside. So Buddhists should be Buddhist, completely. When Buddhist really become Buddhist, you will be supported as a Buddhist.

The eko will be like this:

[Line 2] We dedicate the merit of the recite-- recitation of this
Prajna Paramita Hridaya Sutra to
[Line 3] the Triple Treasures-- Buddha, dharma and sangha,
and to the sages in the sea of the fruitful world of buddhahood,
[Line 4] and the sixteen arhats and their followers who attained
the supreme attainments of the arhatship.
[Line 5] What we pray is that
[Line 6] the Three Wisdoms of-- Six-- Three Wisdoms and the Six
Unrestricted Ways of the arhats may be always
with us in our unceasing effort of-- effort to renew
Buddha's way forever. All sentient-- to-- excuse
me-- Buddha's way-- to renew Buddha's way,
to save all sentient beings, and sentient beings
from the world of suffering and confusion.
[Line 7] And all the-- and encourages-- encourage us to continue
our practice, even in our adversities, and keep the
wheel of dharma turning forever. And to avert
destruction of fire, water, and wind, and calamities
of war, epidemic, and famines.

This will be the translation of the eko. Maybe good idea to recite, you know, eko after English, you know, Prajna-- after reciting the English translation of Prajna Paramita Hridaya Sutra. In the second, you know, service. Tomorrow I will explain the third one, which is dedicated to the-- our patriarchs.

Thank you very much.
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Re: Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen, by Shu

Postby admin » Mon Jan 25, 2016 3:53 am

Open Your Intuition
Shunryu Suzuki Lecture
Sesshin Meeting
Friday, July 31, 1970
San Francisco
(title from book: Not Always So, p. 69)

-- [laughter]. What he-- she meant is if you stand up, you know, with painful legs or sleeping legs, you will [laughs]-- it will be dan- [partial word]-- dangerous [laughs, laughter]. That is why she said so-- so, you know. I think that is very important, you know, and even though you feel your legs, okay. But it is better to make it-- make them sure [laughs], rubbing, you know, your knee.

Student A: I thought what she was saying was that once we stood up, we were supposed to stand there without-- before we started walking.

SR: Excuse me, I don't--

Student A: I thought that, you know--

SR: -- I don't know what she said, you know, so it is difficult [laughter].

Student A: I just won't move [laughing] until the person in front of me leaves.

SR: When you make kinhin, you know, walk, you know, so that you give them-- You know, if you walk too slowly or if you have too much, you know, distance, between you and someone ahead of you, that will make other person difficult to walk, so you should be careful, you know, abo- [partial word]-- about distance between you and a person ahead of you. So keep certain, you know, distance. And if, you know, someone like me, you know, walk-- naturally I walk slowly, you know. That will give others some difficulties. And as I walk very slowly, we-- I will have big distance from [laughs] a person who is walking ahead of me.

So if you-- if you have too much distance in between, you know, catch up to the person. That is, you know, very small things, but that kind of small things is pretty important to-- to have good feeling in our practice.

Maybe do you have something more to say? [Apparently addressing a student who had spoken earlier.] Ah.

I am so-- so much encouraged to see so many students, old and new. I hope we can sit together with good feeling.

The purpose of sesshin is to have more stable practice for us, especially those who are involved in busy, everyday life. It is good occasion to resume our true nature and to open our mind for various circumstances you may have in your everyday life.

And it may be incredibly important to-- to practice with the students who you-- whom you [are] acquainted with. Even though you do not communicate by words, you know, just to be with them, you know, will be a big encouragement. Verbal, you know communication tend to be very superficial, but when you don't [laughs] speak, you know, your communication between you will be very much encouraged, and your mind become-- will become very subtle. And your intuition will be open by staying [in] silence. This is very-- just to stay, without saying-- stay here without saying anything for five days with you is already very meaningful. That is why we do not talk.

We, you know, when we [are] involved in some superficial interesting matters, because of some special interest, your true feeling will be covered by the-- some special feeling. So to open your innate nature, and to feel something from bottom of your heart, it is necessary to remain silent, and that kind of practice will-- through this kind of practice you will have more, you know, intuitive understanding of teaching, and your intuition will be improved.

“Not to talk” does not mean to, you know, to keep you in deaf and [laughs] dumb, you know. Just to improve your intuition, we practice silence during sesshin time. And so same thing is true with your reading. If you read something interest-- interesting, because of something you become interest-- interested in it, your intuition will be-- it will be the disturbance of your [ability to] to open your intuition. That is why we don't read.

So if you-- it doesn't mean to, you know, to confine yourself in dark, you know, room [laughs]. It means that, you know, you-- to encourage your intuition or to encourage your-- to open your, you know, true mind is why we do not read. In zazen, we do not think, you know, even.

If-- some of you maybe Rinzai student who is practicing koan practice. If so, he can, you know, practice koan practice-- practice too. But in koan practice it is not necessary to speak or to read.

Of course, for-- especially for beginners it may be difficult to stay silent or not to read even newspapers. You may be very-- you may be very-- very much bored, so-- [laughs, laughter] [sounds of nearby hammering]. You know, in that case, you should ask [for] kyosaku [laughter]. Do you know what it does [?] If you do so, someone will hit you.

And that kind of thing [door slams nearby] will be taken care of mostly by old students, you know. In, you know, in sesshin, usually, everything will be taken care of by old student, and old student help, you know, new st- [partial word]-- must help new students to practice more. And so old students, you know, take care of many things: serving meals for you, and giving some instructions, and carrying sticks. Those things will be-- should be well taken care [of] by old students.

Try anyway. Sit [laughs], you know, and see what will happen to you [laughter]. And try to keep right posture according to the instruction. Important things is to follow the rules, you know. This is very important. “To follow rules” means to find, you know, to let you find your-- yourself, you know. If, you know, there is no rules, it is difficult for you, you know, to find yourself because you don't know whe- [partial word]-- where you are. [Laughs.] If there is food, you will know what time is it, and when we should eat, and which way we should walk [laughs].

If there is no rules, you know, and no one taking care of you, it is rather difficult to practice. And it will be a great help. It is much better than to have no rules and sit in one corner of the room five days, you know, without doing anything. So rules is something you should understand. Rules is something which you-- which help you, you know. That is rules. Instead of, you know, restricting you by some, you know, cord.

If you have some question, I think I can answer.

Student B: During the sesshin should we still go on counting our breath, or would you recommend some other form of zazen?

SR: There are various kinds of practice. Following breathing, or counting breathing, or ko- [partial word]-- koan practice. But I recommend you to, maybe this time, you know, following breathing practice.

Student B: Following breathing--

SR: Uh-huh.

Student B: -- or counting?

SR: If-- if, you know-- when you find it difficult to count, you know-- no, no, to follow your breathing, counting breathing will, you know, may help you because if you count your breathing, you know exactly what you are doing. Or when you-- your practice get lost, immediately, you will, you know, know it. So that will-- will be a-- it-- that will help you. So-- but following breathing is good.

Student B: Just following breathing, but then you can't, you know, go in too deep [?].

SR: Mm-hmm. And at that time, don't, you know-- don't make too much effort in, you know, in making your breathing slow down or, you know, making faster or anything like that. Just-- if you just follow your breathing, then naturally, your-- your breathing will be good, you know, appropriate for your practice, without-- even though you don't try to make it slower, if your breathing is fast-- too fast, the breathing will be slowed down.

Student C: For dokusan do you sign up every day for that day, or do you sign up Sunday for the whole week?

SR: Maybe better to sign up, you know.

Student C: Every day?

SR: Not every day. Hmm? What-- what-- what was-- ?

Dan Welch: Just-- there'll be a list, and just sign up once, whenever. Recommend that you sign up early-- soon as possible. If there's nobody on the list, there will be dokusan, so--

Student D: Dan, will Roshi be giving dokusan, do you know?

Dan: He'll be giving a few.

Student D: Will there be a sign-up sheet?

Dan: No.

Student D: So--

Dan: I can take care of that.

SR: If you send me some patient by ambulance [laughs, laughter], I will see the patient [laughs, laughter]. Do you have some question? Hai.

Student E: This is a beginner's question, but do you-- in your last lecture you said if another Roshi had said: “You can put your mind in the palm of your hand.” And I didn't really understand, but I-- I tried that, and [laughter]-- it was very-- very calming. It made me feel very calm, and I'm wondering if that's alright to do that, to calm your expiration [4-6 words unclear]. [Laughter.]

SR: Actually then, I created one more problem [laughter]. I said, you know, so that you-- you may not be, you know, you may not be caught by some particular practice. Do you understand?

Student E: They are to do nothing but follow your breath.

SR: And, you know, we have various-- you will listen [to] various instructions, you know, but what I am saying is instruction will be given to you so that, you know-- to help you, you know, to help your practice. That is why we give you instruction. We do not give instruction so that I can force some practice, special practice, on you, you know. Or it does not mean you should do this or you shouldn't do this. You know, you may have various intr- [partial word]-- instructions, but if you, you know, think that will help, then you can do it. So that is up to you.

Student F: Where do the services take place? In the zendo also--

Dan: Yes.

SR: -- or the Buddha hall?

SR: Yeah, in zendo. In sesshin time we do everything in zendo. Some more questions?

Student G: What is the form for taking dokusan?

Dan: The ha- [partial word]-- before you go-- for those of you who have never had dokusan before, the jisha, right, the person you-- the attendant for the Roshi during sesshin, she's-- Laurie Palmer will do it this time. He will instruct you before it's your turn to go.

SR: Some more questions maybe?

[Suzuki whispers with student (probably Dan Welch) for 2-3 sentences.]

Dan: Okay, uh--

SR: Thank you very much.

Dan: -- if you all know where your seats are, located in the zendo. We'd like to go down and sit last [3-4 words unclear].
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Re: Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen, by Shu

Postby admin » Mon Jan 25, 2016 3:54 am

Find Out for Yourself
Shunryu Suzuki Lecture
Saturday, March 15, 1969
San Francisco
(title from book: Not Always So, p. 72)

In your zazen, perhaps you will have many difficulties or problems. But when you have some problem, it is necessary for you to find out-- try to find out by yourself why you have problem. Before you ask someone, it is necessary for you to try to find out why.

Usually your way of study is to master it as soon as possible and by some best way. So before you think you may ask someone why you have some problem. But that kind of way may be very good for your usual life, but if you want to study Zen, it doesn't help so much.

You should always try to find out what really mean by “buddha-nature” or by “practice” or by “enlightenment.” In this way, you will have a more subtle attitude towards everything until you understand things as it is.

If you are told something by someone, naturally you will stick to something you experienced or you understand-- you understood. The moment you think you understand something, you will stick to it. And you will lose the full function of your nature.

So when you are seeking for something, your true nature is in full activity, as if you are, you know-- when you-- even know what are you seeking for-- like someone who is in the dark seeking for his own pillow because he lost it. In the dark-- so you don't see anything but you're seeking for the pillow you lost. At that time, your mind is in full function. So-- but if you know where the pillow is, you know, your mind is not in full function. Your mind is acting in limited sense, you know.

So-- but if you don't know where is the pillow, you are just seeking, worried, and your mind is open to everything. In that way, you will see things as it is.

So to study means-- if you want to study something it's better not to have any purpose to study without, you know, knowing how to study or what is Buddhism. But because you do-- you are not satisfied with something which you are told, and you cannot rely on anything which was told-- which was-- which is set up by someone. Perhaps you may have this kind of feeling always. And I think you seek for freedom just because of the freedom you seek for. You try various way.

Of course, you will sometime-- you will find, sometime, you wasted your time. If some Zen master drink a lot of sake, you may think the best way to obtain enlightenment is to take a lot of sake [laughs]. Then you will attain enlightenment, you know. But even though you take a lot of sake as he do-- as he does [laughs, laughter], you will not attain enlightenment [laughs, laughter].

It looks like waste of time [laughs, laughter], but it is not so, you know. That attitude is, you know, important. To-- if you continue, you know, to try to find out in that way-- your, you know, understanding-- power of understanding will-- more and more you will gain the more power to understand things.

So whatever you do, you will not waste your time. But when you do something with some limited idea or some definite purpose, what you will gain is some concrete things which is not-- which will be-- which will be the cover of your inner nature. So it is not matter of what you-- what you study, but matter of to gain the faculty to see things as it is, to accept things as it is, to understand things as it is.

Some of you may try hard, may study something if you like it, you know. If you don't like it, you don't. You ignore it. That is not only selfish way, but also the limiting your power of study. Good or bad, small or big, we should find out the true reason why something is so big and why something is so small, why something is so good and why something is not so good. But if you [laughs] only are trying to find out something good, you know, you will always lose something. And you are limiting your faculty. So you always live in limited world. You cannot accept things as it is.

We have-- perhaps too many students in this zendo. But even there are two, three-- even [if] some master has two, three students, they will-- he will never tell you what our way in detail. The only way is to eat with him, to talk with him, and to do something-- to do everything with him. And to help him without, you know, even [being] told how to help him.

Even-- but eventually, you know, because it is difficult to help him, you will try to find out how to help him and how to make him happy [laughs]. Mostly, he is not so happy. You will be always scolded without any reason. Maybe there is some reason, but because you don't find out why so [laughs] you are not so happy and he is not so happy. So what you-- if you want to-- if you want [to] really study with him, you will try hard how to please him-- how to make your life happy with him.

You may say that is very old, you know, way. I think you had, in your civilization, sometime I think you had, this kind of life-- not like in Japan, but there is some reason why they had this kind of difficult time with their teachers. There is no particular way for us, because each one of us are different from the other.

So each one of us must have each one's own way. And according to the situation, you should change your way and-- to find out some appropriate way. So you cannot stick to anything. The only thing we have to [do] is to find out new-- some appropriate way under new situation.

For an instance, you know, in morning time we have-- we clean our room. But we have not enough rags or brooms, so it is almost impossible to participate our cleaning-- in [our cleaning]. So under this circumstances, what you should do is to find out something to do [laughs]. You may think, “It is-- there is nothing to do for me.” But there is, if you, you know [laughs], if you try hard to find out what you should do.

I don't scold you so much, but if strict-- if I were a strict Zen master I shall be very angry with you [laughs], you know, because you give up quite easily. “Oh, no. There is not much equipment to clean.” Or, “There is not much things-- there are not much things to do.” And if you sit, you know, [on] balcony with people without much help [laughs], you may easily give up to practice. “Maybe better,” you know, “not. It is not possible,” or “It may be foolish to practice,” you know, “under this circumstances-- under such a, you know, bad circumstances [laughs]. You may easily give up. But in such case, you know, you should try hard. How you should practice-- for an instance, if you are very sleepy, you know: “Oh, maybe better not to practice to zazen. Maybe better to rest.” Yeah, sometime it is better, but there is-- that is, at the same time, that may the good chance to practice.

When I was [at] Eiheiji serving a teacher-- helping teacher-- my teacher, he was-- he did not tell us anything. But whenever we make mistake [laughs], he scolded. It is a rule-- a kind of rules to open left-hand-- right-hand side, you know, [of the] sliding door. This is usual way. Little bit-- you open little bit by the handle-- not handle, but by the hole which serve the-- which-- by which we open.

So I opened this way [probably gestures], and I was scolded: “Don't open that way-- that side.” So next morning I opened, you know, the other side [laughs]. Scolded again. I don't know what to do [laughs, laughter]. The next morning I-- but I found out that the day I open this side, his guest was this side. To open this side is a rule, you know. Left-hand side is the rule. But because-- at that morning his guest was there. So, you know, I should open the other side. Before I open, we should-- I should be careful and find out which side guest is.

And one day-- yeah-- the day I [was] appointed to serve him, I gave him a cup of tea. And it is rule-- almost rule to fill eighty percent of the cup. That is the rule. So I filled eighty percent or seventy percent [laughs]. And he said, “Give me hot,” you know, “hot tea. You should fill the cup,” you know, “with very hot tea.” So next morning I filled, you know-- next morning when there were some guests, I filled all the cups [laughs] with hot water almost ninety-nine percent and served them. [SR hits or slaps something.] I was scolded [laughs, laughter]!

There is no rule actually, you know [laughs, laughter]. He himself like hot-- very hot bitter tea filled in the cup. But almost all the guest doesn't like bitter hot tea. So for him I should, you know, give him bitter hot tea. And for the guest I should give-- I should have given her-- given them, you know, usual-- given them usual way. In this way, you know, he never tells [us] anything.

If I get up earlier-- or I-- when I get up twenty minutes earlier than the handbell come, I was scolded. “Don't get up so early!” [Laughs]. “You will disturb my sleep.” Usually if I get up earlier it is good, you know, but for him it is not good [laughs]. In this way when-- if you are trying to understand things better, without any rules or prejudice, then that means selflessness.

You say “rules,” but rules are already some selfish idea. Actually, there is no rules. But when you say, “This is rule,” you are forcing something on the rules to others. You are-- so actually, there is no rules. But when it is-- rules is only needed when we have not much time or when we cannot help others more closely, more kindly. So-- or anyway, this is rules. So you should do that [laughs]. This is easy, you know. But actually-- that is not actual way-- our way. So to give each student-- to give instruction-- some instruction is not so good, you know.

If possible, we should give instruction one-by-one. But because that is difficult, we give some instruction or lecture like this [laughs]. But you shouldn't stick to lecture. You should think more what [laughs] I mean-- what I really mean. So for the beginner, maybe, instruction is necessary, but for, you know, for advanced students, we don't give so much instruction, and he should try various way.

In this sesshin I think-- or I'm-- I feel very sorry for you that I cannot help you so much. But the way you study true Zen is not [through] some verbal things. You should open yourself, and you should give up everything. And whatever it is, you should try-- anyway, you should try, whether it is-- whether you think it is good or bad. This is the fundamental attitude to study.

You should be like a children, you know, who drew things whether it is good or bad. Sometime you will do things without much reason. If that is difficult, you are not actually ready to practice zazen. It is, you know, we say “absolute surrender.” But you have nothing to surrender. If you have something to surrender, it may be-- it is usual way. But we have nothing to surrender. But you should find out always yourself. You shouldn't lose yourself. That is only things you should try.

Some more time. Do you have some question? Hai.

Student A: What do you mean we don't have anything to lose-- or to surrender?

SR: Oh. Without finding-- without-- I mean, you know, “without surrender” means when you have-- when you find it difficult to surrender, that is surrender. But you should know that is not complete surrender because, you know, you find it difficult. So that-- that much you should [be] aware of, you know-- yourself, what you are doing [laughs].

That-- that you have problem means you are not-- not yet [taps five times with stick-- once for each of previous five words], you know, surrendered enough. [Taps several times.] Something is there, you know. So you should-- you should not attach to it, or you should not [be] bothered by it, or you should not [be] satisfied with it, whatever it is, or you should not try to avoid it because it is there [taps several times]. So you should think-- or you should be aware of that, you know, problem and why you have that problem [taps several times]-- that kind of problem.

You know, if you fail to serve, you know, tea, you should think why, without sticking-- without making some excuse, you know. You failed anyway, you know. So what you should do not to fail again? So there is no rules but to be aware of what you are doing. Do you understand?

Student B: What do you mean, “We should not lose ourselves?”

SR: “Lose yourself” means you should not stick to something-- some rules or some idea. You should be more realistic [laughs]. Do you understand? Lose yourself-- lose-- ”to lose” means to stick to something, [to be] enslaved by something. We exist-- we always-- we are doing something always with-- in relation to something else. But we should not be enslaved by it. There is difference, you know: to be enslaved by it and to have a good relationship. When you are enslaved by it, some-- you're-- what you do is not pure enough-- realistic enough. Something, you know, is in it between you: rules or idea or idea of self, you know. “I am doing something.” That is actually-- ”I am doing something” means, you know, I am enslaved by “me,” ideal “me.” So, you know, we should be more realistic. Do you understand? What I want to say --

[Sentence not finished. Tape turned over.]

SR: Hai.

Student C: Do you think it's important to continue practice even when we're not feeling well? When we're ill?

SR: When you are ill, but-- sometime it may be better to sit even though you are ill. But sometime you cannot, you know. Or sometime [it] may be better not to take formal posture. But you can sit-- not sit, but you can practice our way whatever the situation is. Even though you are lying in bed, you can practice zazen-- not zazen but-- we can practice our way. Hai.

Student D: In the beginning it was suggested-- in the beginning of my practice of zazen it was suggested that I count my breaths. Are there other methods I could use? Should I just experiment around [with] different ways.

SR: Yeah. For an instance, maybe, you know-- usually our breathing is very shallow, you know, and if you try-- if you continue shallow breathing in zazen because, you know-- in everyday activity, you naturally-- sometime you take deep breathing like this [gestures], or, you know, when you do some particular activity you take deep breathing. But in zazen, you know, if you keep-- if you do shallow breathing always, you know, it is-- it create problem because, you know, in your-- in zazen you cannot do like this [speaking in an ironic voice-- sounding very tight or compressed], you know [laughs]. So you are always like this without making deeper breathing. So that is why I say, you know, take deeper breathing. You should try to make your breathing deeper. Hai.

Student E: Roshi, why do people suffer? Why do people suffer?

SR: Suffer? Yeah. The-- it means-- suffering means, you know, spiritual suffering especially or some-- most of the physical suffering too. When you have-- you-- you expect something, you have already suffering, because actually things doesn't go as you expect. So there is suffering already. Even you are ill, you know, for an instance, if you try-- if you do not try too much to, you know, to get well, it is pretty good. It is not so bad. But if you try to get well too much, that is suffering. So you should-- when you are ill, you should accept it. “Oh, I am-- I am not so well [laughs]. Maybe someday I shall be all right.” Then you have not much suffering. So, you know, some idea will create some, some-- when you expect something, we have already suffering. And that expectation is not realistic enough, usually. Hai.

Student F: If I-- if you try-- I guess if you try not to have expectation, that's negative expectation.

SR: Uh-huh.

Student F: But if you get into wanting to expect-- like someone would say, “Would you like to go get an ice cream cone?”

SR: Uh-huh.

Student F: How-- how do you, in your daily life, how do you keep from-- how do you keep a healthy mind from not expecting when some people, without knowing it, want you to get into expecting it with them?

SR: Yeah. That is-- to know, you know-- if you don't know the nature of suffering, you know, you will suffer more. But if you know why you suffer, then you think, “I expect too much,” you know. “There is no ice cream here,” [laughs] so I shouldn't think about ice cream. It is-- that there is no ice cream is-- is already not so good. But if I expect it-- if I want [laughs, laughter] to have it, you make yourself words [laughs, laughter]. So in that way, you know, you will be relieved from a lot of suffering.

Student G: Roshi, you said not to get stuck or caught by some particular idea. But it seems like many ideas have two sides.

SR: Uh-huh.

Student G: And you get stuck on one side-- still that allows the other side to help you. For instance, if you get caught by the idea of the sangha--

SR: Mm-hmm.

Student G: -- become impassioned [?] by sangha or an area [?] of practice--

SR: Yeah.

Student G: -- even though you're caught by it, still it's kind of a skillful way for a sangha to help you, because it keeps you with it.

SR: Oh, yeah.

Student G: But how-- it's a very strange feeling, if you find yourself afraid to stop practice or to change practice--

SR: Yeah.

Student G: -- out of some formal sangha, because [you're] getting caught by both sides of the idea.

SR: Yeah.

Student G: Even though the other side may help you, still, you know, still you're caught.

SR: Yeah. If you know that point, you know-- it is necessary to know-- to understand that much. Without understanding it, you know, if you push one way always-- one side always, that will be awful. So at least we should know both side. Then the rules we have will help us. But because we don't know the other side, rules doesn't help at all-- makes us worse.

So our sangha is small world itself or society itself. So we will know-- we will learn many things. So for-- for us it is necessary to know or to understand why we have rules-- why he say so, you know. Like you steal something [laughs]. Why, you know, you should steal his way. Or-- and you should, you know, understand what he mean-- actually what he means without being caught by rules or words or what he says. And he should know why, you know, we have rules and why you have to say something to others. So actually, there is no rules. But [laughs], the rules is good devices. Hai.

Student H: In zazen, if the cushion before your eyes begins to glow, or you see the bodhisattvas blinking their eyes, or the people on each side of you seem to be mutas [?], what is happening?

SR: What is happening? Maybe that is a good experience. But sometime, you know, it is because of your bad breathing exercise. Something-- if it is healthy, you know, good experience for you, of course that is very good. But sometime, you know, it is just some created idea because of your unhealthy practice. [It is] not always-- what I mean is not always good, you know.

Student H: Well, one feels very peaceful when one sees this[?]--

SR: Mm-hmm

Student H: -- then perhaps it's good.

SR: Yeah.

Student H: But if, for instance, there's a feeling of a strong weight on the head--

SR: Yeah.

Student H: -- then that's unpleasant.

SR: Yeah.

Student H: And one doesn't know what to do.

SR: Yeah. That is, you know, your breathing is not so good. And even though it is good, we shouldn't stick to it, you know. You [?]--

Almost time?

Thank you very much.
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Re: Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen, by Shu

Postby admin » Mon Jan 25, 2016 3:54 am

Be Kind with Yourself
Shunryu Suzuki Lecture
Tuesday, February 23, 1971
Tassajara
(title from book: Not Always So, p. 77)

It is more than six months [laughs] since-- Is it working?

Student: Yes.

-- since I came to Tassajara, and I was very much impressed, you know, of your practice at this time. And I am now thinking about, you know-- not thinking about-- but actual feeling I have now, you know, and some, you know, prospect for the future-- future life of Tassajara. I feel something right, and I want to talk, you know, a little bit about my feeling and my hope.

I don't know if you have actual feeling of true practice. I don't know, because, you know, why I say so is because I didn't know [laughs], you know, when I was practicing zazen. Even though I was practicing zazen when I was young, I didn't know exactly what it was. But although I had some feeling of practice, but, you know, it was pretty difficult to talk about the feeling I had. But now, you know, the feeling I had makes some sense right now for me, right now [laughs]. But at that time, it doesn't make much sense, although I had some feeling, and sometime I was very much impressed by our practice at Eiheiji or some other monasteries. Or when I see some great teachers, listening to their teisho, I was very much impressed.

But it was difficult to organize that kind of experience-- to put some order in those experience. Maybe because I wanted to put some order, you know, it was not possible. This way is to have full experience and to have full, you know, feeling in every practice. Then that is, you know, that was our way. But maybe it is true with you.

Why we couldn't satisfy our practice is one reason I didn't. I thought I did my best, but I didn't, you know [laughs], [make] enough effort for our practice. That is why. And another reason was because, you know, I wanted to put order, you know. People say “stepladder [laughs] stepladder Zen,” you know. Actually, we are talking about, you know, enlightenment and practice is one, but still, you know, actually, my practice, at least, was stepladder practice, you know: “I understand this much, and next year,” I thought, “I understand a little bit more, little bit more” [laughs]. That kind of, you know, practice doesn't make much sense. Maybe after you try, you know, stepladder [laughs] practice, you may realize, you know, that that was mistake.

This morning, you know, when [Sotan Ryosen] Tatsugami Roshi was, you know, giving dokusan when we are practicing zazen. I cannot explain you literally what he said, but, you know, our zazen is-- If we don't, you know, feel some actual feeling of practice, some warm, you know, big satisfaction in your practice, that is not practice. Even though you sit, you know, with right posture, trying to have right posture, following your breathing, you know, and following all the instruction which was given to you, but maybe still, you know, it is, you know, empty [laughs] zazen.

Why it is empty zazen is you are just following instruction, you know, following form of, you know, practice. And you are following what the way you should do, even though you are counting, you know, you are not kind enough with yourself. That was the point of Tatsugami Roshi's saying this morning. You should be very kind, you know, with yourself. Not just count your breathing to, you know, to avoid your thinking mind, but to take best care of your breathing, you know. There is big difference, you know. Even though you are following breathing, you know, just to follow your breathing doesn't make sense. If you, you know, if you are very kind with your breathing, then, one after another, you will have, you know, refreshed warm feeling in your zazen.

Perhaps, you know, we are not kind enough with ourselves, with our practice. We understand that our practice is, you know-- Still we understand, you know, our practice by following some instruction. Or if you only follow the instruction given by some teacher, then you will have good zazen, but [laughs] it is not so. Why you have instruction is how you are able to be kind with yourself. That is, you know, purpose of instruction.

If you don't feel Buddha's mercy in instruction, and if you don't feel, you know, Buddha's mercy on your form and breathing, you know, and take care of your practice, then there is no warm feeling in it, and it is not, you know, well-satisfied zazen. You should be fully satisfied with your, you know, practice. Or you should be very kind with yourself. So, you know, when you are very kind with yourself, naturally you will, you know, feel satisfaction, you know.

A mother may take care of her children, you know, even though she has no idea of how to make her baby happy, you know. But still, what she is doing for his mother is to, you know, to make her laugh or to make [laughs] her baby, you know, happy, you know. In that way you take care of your posture and your breathing, you know. There should be some warm feeling in it. And when you have warm feeling in your practice, that is actual good example of great mercy of Buddha. If you practice, you know, this way, whether you are priest or monk or layman, you know, you have actual practice which will help your everyday life, which will be extended to your everyday life. When you do something, you take utmost care, you know, of what you do. Then you feel good, you know.

So we say, you know, you are, you know, rather something on or in what you do. For instance, you know, as Tozan Daishi said-- Tozan Ryokai Daiosho, you know. You recite his name every morning. And Tatsugami Roshi bow, you know. When Tatsugami Roshi bow, all the patriarchs, you recite their name. And Tozan Ryokai Daiosho, he, you know, attained-- It is difficult to say, you know, when he attained enlightenment [laughs]. So he [laughs] attained enlightenment so many times [laughs, laughter]. So we cannot say, you know, when. But when he was, you know, crossing river, he saw himself in the river and he said, “Don't,” you know, “try to figure out what is you. If you try to figure out what is you, what you will understand will be far away from you. You will not have even image of yourself.” Don't try to do so.

But you, actual you, are rather in the river. You may say that is just shadow or that is just, you know, reflection of yourself, not me. You may say so. But if you carefully, you know, if you see it with warm-hearted, you know, feeling, that is you, you know. [Laughs.] You know, you think you are very warm-hearted [laughs], but when you, you know, try to understand how warm I am [laughs], even by temperature, you know [laughs], thermometer, you cannot measure your feeling actual. But when you take-- see yourself in mirror or water with warm feeling, that is actually you. And whatever you do, you are there rather than here.

If this side of the monks are, you know, doing something, and the other side of the monks doing some other things, what [laughs] what Manjushri is doing [laughs, laughter]? When you do something, there is Manjushri, actually. Real you is there, you know. [Laughs.] You don't have to [laughs] seek for where is Manjushri and what is he doing. If you actually, you know, [have] good practice in your everyday life, there is our practice, and there is Manjushri, and there is true you, you know, real you. Don't say Manjushri is here or there [points] or in the middle of the zendo. It is actually, you know, there when you do things with warm heart, by your warm-hearted mind. That is actual practice. That is how you take care of things. That is how you talk with people.

So there is many ways, you know, because some of you are priest, some of you are layman, and some of you are married priest and some [of] you are not married priest. But our practice is same, not different. Those who, you know, who are not monk and priest may, you know, may his own way, you know, to go. Those who are not married or who have already married, you know, they have their own way of extending our practice to everyday life. So although our situation is different, but, you know, practice is just one.

Manjushri is actually one, but even though he is one, but [laughs] he is everywhere, you know, and with everyone, and with things what you do. Whatever practice you are involved in, there is Manjushri. But secret is, you know, not to forget the true mercy of Buddha who takes care of everything. If we lose this point, you know, whatever you do, it doesn't make any sense.

Tatsugami Roshi put emphasis on warm heart, warm zazen. If you practice zazen, you will feel very warm. Even though it is cold, but you should feel some warm feeling in your practice. That is, you know-- The warm feeling we have in our practice is, in other word, you know, enlightenment or Buddha's mercy, Buddha mind. It is not matter of just counting your breathing or, you know, following your breathing. Counting breathing is too too too, you know, tedious [laughs]. So maybe better just to follow [laughs] breathing. This is easier, you know, and less disturbance in our practice [laughs, laughter]. This is just [laughs, laughter]-- Doesn't make any sense.

The point is, you know, one after another, inhaling and exhaling, you have to take care of, you know, the breathing in and out, just as a mother may watch a baby, you know. If a baby smile, mother may smile [laughs]. If a baby cry, mother will worry. “Ohh” [laughs]. That kind of, you know, close relationship-- to be one with your practice is the point. I'm not talking about anything, you know, new. Same old things [laughs, laughter], I am sorry. But I was very impressed, you know, this morning when he was, you know, giving you dokusan. I wish you could understand Japanese [laughs], but you don't. But I think you must have felt some feeling from his, you know, talk.

Various rules we have here, you know, maybe like some, you know, I think maybe like some, you know, machine gun looking glass [sighting scope] [laughs]. Do you know the machine gun looking glass, you know? There is many line on it, you know. It is easier to see something, you know, where the target is, you know [laughs]. And it is for the teacher, of course, you know [laughs, laughter], to-- Of course it is so, but, you know, it is for the student too: to work on it, you know, to work on something more carefully, you know. When you want to work on something more carefully, naturally you will count, you know, and naturally you want to figure out how to work on it, you know. That is just, you know, relying on your machine-gun looking glass. I don't know how you call it, but they have it, you know. If you see the movie, you know [laughter], BOOM! [Laughs, laughter.] It goes in that way. And there you see, you know, the glass in that way.

It is just to help your practice, you know, for teacher, some [?], or students. It is not something actual, you know. Actual relationship between teacher and the student is this, you know: “Hi, how are you?” But this is, you know, too direct and too much, so we have to have looking glass and you [laughs]. Through it, we need something, you know, between us. If we are too close with each other we cannot see, but we can feel. But, you know, if we feel too much too close [claps hands together twice], it doesn't make any sense. We cannot help each other. So we need some distance, you know.

So the rules will give us some distance between teacher and disciple. So because of the distance, student may have some freedom in his activity, and teacher will find out how to help, you know, him. When you play something, you know, if you are too close, you cannot play game. Only when you have some distance between you, you can you play something, you know [laughs]. You have some freedom. If student do not have any freedom, you know, teacher cannot tell actually what he wants to do and what kind of, you know, instruction he need. Only when he see from distance, you know, teacher can help him.

[Sentence finished. Tape turned over.]

-- something to restrict your freedom, rather to give you freedom to behave and to act in your own way. And teacher, without criticizing him, you know, and knowing him-- knowing student what really they want to do or what kind of mistake they have, and teacher may help him more meaningful and helpful. It is, for instance, it is something, you know, to-- when you want to know whether this, you know, water is too much sugar or your coffee is too much sugar [laughs] or too little, you will stir it up, you know, or too strong or too weak. It is necessary to do something on, you know, coffee or on what you do. We should act on it, you know. That is rules. By rules we know what kind of experience you need or what kind of help you need.

The background or-- our rules is based on, you know, also a warm, kind mind. So you are, you-- It is not so important to follow the rules, you know, literal, but within the rules you should, you know, try hard. And sometime, if you don't feel so good, you should [laughs] try to break it [laughs, laughter]. You should do something like that. Oh no [laughs, laughter]. Then we will know, you know, what is wrong with him, you know [laughs, laughter]. Maybe his tongue is not so good, or today he lost his belt. That is also gives us some help, you know. So you are pretty free, you know, within our rules. But if you-- So when you practice our way, you know, our rules are very very, you know, organized and very, you know-- It doesn't, you know, words doesn't come up. Anyway, it is very good for students and for us.

That is actually Tassajara life. And that is why we make our rules [laughs] stricter and stricter, you know. Don't misunderstand us, you know. If your, you know, practice improves, you know, we have to have, you know, more-- we have to know about your practice more, you know, carefully. So we must have very, you know, small, very fine, more lines on it anyway [laughs], so that we can measure exactly [laughs, laughter]. If your practice improve, more exact [laughs], you know, glass [crosshairs] is necessary.

You may think, you know, Tassajara became more and more rigid and, you know, strict. And what be-- what will happen to us after all [laughs, laughter]? Nothing happens [laughs]. You are you-- still you. You have big freedom, you know, but your practice will be improved a lot. And when your practice improve, you have good control over your everyday life. When you have good control of your desires and everyday life, then you will have, you know, big freedom from everything. That is, you know, goal of our practice for priest and for layman.

Ahhh. I don't think I have any more time.

Thank you very much.

And, yeah, you know. I have to go. I have to leave you this afternoon. Take care of your practice. Take good care [laughs] of practice and to be very kind with yourself.
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