charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:43 pm

Copyright and Digital Libraries.
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 21, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/21/c ... xclude=195

Nothing I do is illegal. If you do it, it might very well be, but I am exempt for two main reasons. First I am the law. Second, Tara is a librarian. So we can either sue your pie hole shut so fast you won’t even be able to swallow your pie, or we can claim we are fair use non-infringers of your copyright. Now this topic was brought up in the comments section of my last entry, and I need to clarify. My wife and I can draw genitalia all over your pictures and post them to our website. We can call for bankers to be water boarded. We can use other people’s money for our own rent. I can disclose all our emails and letters. We can do anything we want, because I can and will try to bend the law to my needs. I can use a dead man’s name to sell my services. I am above you. I am your transcendent legal god.

You however have many fewer rights than I. You cannot use my name to make fun of me. You cannot draw pictures that I might perceive are my mother. You cannot call me a content thief. You cannot chose how to use your own trademark. You cannot ask for civil debate. You cannot use my tactics against me. You cannot publish my legal letters to you.

Anyone who challenges these rules will learn that my pen is mightier than the sword. One last thing, Tara says your dick is small.

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:43 pm

F the EFF
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 21, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/21/f-the-eff/

Looks like no one ever learns. In their little press release the EFF uses my name twice. I have a trademark on my name, and therefor I am entitled to damages now 2 fold. What is 2 x infinity? I don’t know, Tara tells me 2 x infinity is the sign of the dinosaur reemergence. I am not so sure. However in the interest of negotiating, I will accept a live TyrannosaurusRex as compensation. I have consulted with my trusted advisor Brett Kimberlin and we have concluded a 4 step response.

1.Further perjure ourselves to the court to obtain a peace order against Matthew Inman and the EFF.

2.Subpoena all social media in order to send Cease and Desist orders to all critics of this litigation.

3.Try to settle with said critics for defamation in the amount of $100,000.

4.Any settlements will be used to create a new TV network called Carrion News. It will only display my political leanings and vilify all that oppose myself or Brett.

Also to those who oppose me in the comments of these (or any) posts, Tara is already drawing dicks on your avatars.

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:44 pm

I can’t sue myself.
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 21, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/21/i ... exclude=78

Over at the popehat.com they claim that I may have broken attorney client privilege. I ask you Ken, how are they going to do anything about it buddy? I am their lawyer and I won’t sue myself! Take that smart man. Also since you have used my trademark in your blog many times, I am requesting that you shut down popehat.com and point it’s domain to this blog or else I’ll file a federal lawsuit against you. I have warned my detractors many times about this and now Tara has followed through on the threat. As promised, you are now the meat in a Condolezza Rice and Rush Limbaugh sandwich:

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I still await all illegal cybervandal posters on this blog to forward me their pictures for dick drawing. Also I remind you:

“I am not a politician,” he says sternly when asked about the apparent discrepancy. “I have not deceived anyone. I am not able to stand armies. It is entirely distinct. The grounds for engaging in savage satire of people who are murderers [is a] completely different situation. That’s like comparing touch football with warfare.”


Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:44 pm

A break from character.
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 21, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/21/a ... character/

Readers,

I am not posting this satirically as I originally intended. I had half of this post drafted and then realized the subject matter would be done a disservice by making it into another joke. As anyone who reads this blog might know, I value free speech. I also can be a world class troll if I need to. Maybe that is why I am such a proponent of the First Amendment. I believe through free speech we are granted the ability to do real journalism based on fact and truth without fear of retribution or intimidation.

That being said, free speech and journalism fails when our journalist become lazy and start taking shortcuts. Shortcuts like just pasting an interview into an article with no analysis of the facts. Journalism where the author of an article becomes a mouthpiece for the subject of his piece. I have seen many easily researchable errors while covering Charles Carreon. I also see something sinister happening where Matthew Inman (under advice) is no longer fixing these errors in interviews because of the legal action taken against him. Journalist are allowing Mr. Carreon to frame the conversation as he sees fit, and not standing up for the truth.

Dave Thier of Forbes – Quotes Charles Carreon that IndieGoGo is going to take 9% of the Bear Love fundraiser. When called out on actual facts he in the comment section repeats 9% then does not respond to figures actually obtained from IndieGoGo.com

Michael Cavna of the Washington Post – Repeats Carreon’s line that the picture Matthew Inman drew was of Carreon’s mother, even though it was of the FunnyJunk admin’s mother.

These are but a few of many examples of letting one person frame a debate with journalist who could, and should, place emphasis on the truth. Without a diligent press our freedom will fail. We cannot as a free people allow shortcuts or lack of analytical thought to take us down a dark path. This is also a reminder to anyone who reads a news article, think critically. Do not assume fact because it is in print. Research it if the subject interests you and be a party to our freedom.

Thank You,

Chris

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:44 pm

You are not the internet.
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 22, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/22/y ... -internet/

Stop it right now with your delusions of grandeur. You are not the internet. The internet loves me. I am practically a God. I find it disingenuous that people claim I am a dick. People love me, they make pictures of me for God’s (or my) sake. I am idolized. On top of that people are calling my ethics into question? All I want is to safely put into trust the funds I donated to. To make sure they get to their rightful owner. All I want is respectful spirited debate. However people keep satirizing me like the true Nazis they are. Don’t they know I’m 1/64th Jewish possibly, according to Tara?

Stop it now, before I break out the Lenham Act on you all and take all your $20,000.

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:44 pm

Bransom owes me dinosaurs.
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 22, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/22/b ... dinosaurs/

So another day goes by and I sit here sipping my Starbucks. Then I am rudely notified by Tara (who was dressed up as Carl Jung) ash she came rambling into my inner sanctum of the Carreon cave. What does she have for me? THIS! Serenity of self love shattered. Shattered I say. Some things you accept gracefully, but I am not, and I will never be, a jelly bean accountant. What sort of job is that anyways? Who counts jelly beans all day other then Tara occasionally?

I thought I made it clear before, that I am an Internet Lawyer. I only help the good and good looking, of which I am both, hence I represent myself. I repeat I do not count jelly beans. Even the mention of it is slanderous and opprobrious. I now am quite sure that this lady owes me two Tyrannosaur Rexes, a Stegosaurus, a Platypus, and her domain name. If she does not surrender said dinosaurs and immediately point her domain at this blog, I will take action in the following ways:

1.File a grievance with the United Nations.

2.Sue the Children’s Hospital of Seattle.

3.Rename today Branson owes me dinosaurs day on my personal calendar.

4.Give interview to anyone who will listen on how your blog is improperly setup under California Law.

5.Place a peace order on you so that you may not speak my name.

So how funny do you feel now? Thought so.

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:44 pm

I warned you all.
by Christopher Recouvreur
6/23/12
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/23/i-warned-you-all/

I told you it was coming. This will be the first in a long series of my righteous vengeance. Matt Scott, I find you guilty of blatant use of my name. Your sentence is penis.

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Now how smug do you feel with that on your chin? Tara was giggling as she crafted this masterpiece. I feel she really captured the subject in his awe of my righteous cartoon dick. You cannot stop me, I will not be reasoned with. I continue my righteous quest to find a Judge who doesn’t care about justice, so that I may make the American legal system my play thing. I am above reproach. Remember that.

Your Vengeful Legal God,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:45 pm

Get me out of here!
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 23, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/23/g ... t-of-here/

“I’ve come to see clients and witnesses as fuel to burn, weapons to deploy, and obstacles to be destroyed.” Maybe it’s that quote that got me relegated to representing me, myself, and Tara. Well I did get a new client, however I might have messed that up… I just wanted to get my way. I just wanted to be the savior of the internets. I really need clients, any clients will do. I can’t stand it any more, being stuck in this god forsaken desert with this mad woman ranting and raving all through the night. If I am lucky, I get possibly 2 hours sleep. Please, either join my Class Action Suit, or find me someone to work with. Why do you think I filed a lawsuit out of the state I live? SO I COULD GET AWAY. I mean that’s why I tried to represent a Nevada LLC who’s owner is based in New York. TO GET AWAY! So again, I ask, for all that his holy, please sue someone. I can stand it. She never sleeps.

Also this man is an impostor, @ChasCarreon. I will be sending Twitter another Cease and Desist and demand that they turn over their domain name to me. They obviously are repeat offenders and have refused to hand over any dinosaurs I’ve requested. Once I own Twitter, I will find my impostors, and photoshop dicks all over their impostor faces. Oh glorious day.

Sometimes I drink more Starbucks than usual,

Charles Carreon Esq
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:45 pm

Finally Some Respect
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 24, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/24/f ... e-respect/

An article came out where I finally don’t sound like a complete lunatic! Wait what the hell… they updated it? What the fuck. NOOOOOO! Now I sound even crazier than before…

Inman posted Carreon’s letter on his website and said he would not pay the $20,000, but instead raise that amount to be split between the American Cancer Society and National Wildlife Federation, and send the attorney a photograph of the cash along with a drawing of Funny Junk’s mom seducing a kodiak bear. Born was the charity fundraiser dubbed “BearLove Good. Cancer Bad.”

In his lawsuit, Carreon described the fundraising logo as a “misogynistic cartoon depicting an obese female dressed in her underwear, with pendulous breasts popping out of her brassiere, an enormous posterior distended by an overstretched thong, rouged cheeks, and a crudely-lipsticked mouth, calling out to an apparently disinterested brown bear half her size, ‘COME HURR AND LOVE MEEEE!’” He also felt the mother drawing was aimed at his parent.

“Unbeknownst to Mr. Inman, I was very, very attached to my mom,” Carreon said by phone, referring to his mother as “a nice Catholic woman” who died in a drowning accident. “It struck a nerve.”


What the Nazi Illuminati Conspiracy Batman?! This is like the time the Nader campaign censored Tara for being too crazy. I mean we got Tech Dirt calling me nutty, ArsTechnica calling me hated, and now they’re changing articles where I finally sounded competent? I thought for once we’d get past the fact that I have the reading comprehension skills of a third grader. No this won’t due. I am going to sue the Mercury News for using my name. That’ll show them. Then they’ll have to write whatever I want or stop writing what so ever. Did they think that free speech applied to talking about me? Well at least Tara has figured out who’s behind that parody site of mine. It turns out it’s a person I am talking to in the comment section here, if that’s confusing enough! That’s some space man sending satellite brain waves down from the heavens stuff right there. People don’t get me, I’m like John Lennon. Which aptly enough makes her Yoko Ono.

Your Bear Killer,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:45 pm

My dick works.
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 24, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/24/my-dick-works/

HOW DARE THEY!?! DEFAMATION! These twits over at the Seattle Times said I was impotent! Let me quote this.

We know what the townspeople think: Carreon is a nuisance, shooting blanks.


Ask anyone. My dick works. ANYONE! Tara can tell you. Our goat… I mean… I’m having a really bad day here. I thought I’d sit an meditate, with my cowboy hat on, dreaming of being John Wayne and Matthew Inman was some guide with a weird accent. Then what happens… NAZIS! I am going to sue the Seattle Times for:

1.One billion dollars. Because my dick does work.

2.Their domain name.

3.Them to do fluff pieces on me for eternity.

4.60 dinosaurs. That’s right, mess with my erection, I get lots of dinos.

5.All of their staff members pictures for Tara’s art.

Charles Carreon Esq, Properly Functioning Men Parts.
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