charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:44 pm

I can’t sue myself.
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 21, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/21/i ... exclude=78

Over at the popehat.com they claim that I may have broken attorney client privilege. I ask you Ken, how are they going to do anything about it buddy? I am their lawyer and I won’t sue myself! Take that smart man. Also since you have used my trademark in your blog many times, I am requesting that you shut down popehat.com and point it’s domain to this blog or else I’ll file a federal lawsuit against you. I have warned my detractors many times about this and now Tara has followed through on the threat. As promised, you are now the meat in a Condolezza Rice and Rush Limbaugh sandwich:

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I still await all illegal cybervandal posters on this blog to forward me their pictures for dick drawing. Also I remind you:

“I am not a politician,” he says sternly when asked about the apparent discrepancy. “I have not deceived anyone. I am not able to stand armies. It is entirely distinct. The grounds for engaging in savage satire of people who are murderers [is a] completely different situation. That’s like comparing touch football with warfare.”


Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:44 pm

A break from character.
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 21, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/21/a ... character/

Readers,

I am not posting this satirically as I originally intended. I had half of this post drafted and then realized the subject matter would be done a disservice by making it into another joke. As anyone who reads this blog might know, I value free speech. I also can be a world class troll if I need to. Maybe that is why I am such a proponent of the First Amendment. I believe through free speech we are granted the ability to do real journalism based on fact and truth without fear of retribution or intimidation.

That being said, free speech and journalism fails when our journalist become lazy and start taking shortcuts. Shortcuts like just pasting an interview into an article with no analysis of the facts. Journalism where the author of an article becomes a mouthpiece for the subject of his piece. I have seen many easily researchable errors while covering Charles Carreon. I also see something sinister happening where Matthew Inman (under advice) is no longer fixing these errors in interviews because of the legal action taken against him. Journalist are allowing Mr. Carreon to frame the conversation as he sees fit, and not standing up for the truth.

Dave Thier of Forbes – Quotes Charles Carreon that IndieGoGo is going to take 9% of the Bear Love fundraiser. When called out on actual facts he in the comment section repeats 9% then does not respond to figures actually obtained from IndieGoGo.com

Michael Cavna of the Washington Post – Repeats Carreon’s line that the picture Matthew Inman drew was of Carreon’s mother, even though it was of the FunnyJunk admin’s mother.

These are but a few of many examples of letting one person frame a debate with journalist who could, and should, place emphasis on the truth. Without a diligent press our freedom will fail. We cannot as a free people allow shortcuts or lack of analytical thought to take us down a dark path. This is also a reminder to anyone who reads a news article, think critically. Do not assume fact because it is in print. Research it if the subject interests you and be a party to our freedom.

Thank You,

Chris

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:44 pm

You are not the internet.
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 22, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/22/y ... -internet/

Stop it right now with your delusions of grandeur. You are not the internet. The internet loves me. I am practically a God. I find it disingenuous that people claim I am a dick. People love me, they make pictures of me for God’s (or my) sake. I am idolized. On top of that people are calling my ethics into question? All I want is to safely put into trust the funds I donated to. To make sure they get to their rightful owner. All I want is respectful spirited debate. However people keep satirizing me like the true Nazis they are. Don’t they know I’m 1/64th Jewish possibly, according to Tara?

Stop it now, before I break out the Lenham Act on you all and take all your $20,000.

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:44 pm

Bransom owes me dinosaurs.
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 22, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/22/b ... dinosaurs/

So another day goes by and I sit here sipping my Starbucks. Then I am rudely notified by Tara (who was dressed up as Carl Jung) ash she came rambling into my inner sanctum of the Carreon cave. What does she have for me? THIS! Serenity of self love shattered. Shattered I say. Some things you accept gracefully, but I am not, and I will never be, a jelly bean accountant. What sort of job is that anyways? Who counts jelly beans all day other then Tara occasionally?

I thought I made it clear before, that I am an Internet Lawyer. I only help the good and good looking, of which I am both, hence I represent myself. I repeat I do not count jelly beans. Even the mention of it is slanderous and opprobrious. I now am quite sure that this lady owes me two Tyrannosaur Rexes, a Stegosaurus, a Platypus, and her domain name. If she does not surrender said dinosaurs and immediately point her domain at this blog, I will take action in the following ways:

1.File a grievance with the United Nations.

2.Sue the Children’s Hospital of Seattle.

3.Rename today Branson owes me dinosaurs day on my personal calendar.

4.Give interview to anyone who will listen on how your blog is improperly setup under California Law.

5.Place a peace order on you so that you may not speak my name.

So how funny do you feel now? Thought so.

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:44 pm

I warned you all.
by Christopher Recouvreur
6/23/12
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/23/i-warned-you-all/

I told you it was coming. This will be the first in a long series of my righteous vengeance. Matt Scott, I find you guilty of blatant use of my name. Your sentence is penis.

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Now how smug do you feel with that on your chin? Tara was giggling as she crafted this masterpiece. I feel she really captured the subject in his awe of my righteous cartoon dick. You cannot stop me, I will not be reasoned with. I continue my righteous quest to find a Judge who doesn’t care about justice, so that I may make the American legal system my play thing. I am above reproach. Remember that.

Your Vengeful Legal God,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:45 pm

Get me out of here!
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 23, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/23/g ... t-of-here/

“I’ve come to see clients and witnesses as fuel to burn, weapons to deploy, and obstacles to be destroyed.” Maybe it’s that quote that got me relegated to representing me, myself, and Tara. Well I did get a new client, however I might have messed that up… I just wanted to get my way. I just wanted to be the savior of the internets. I really need clients, any clients will do. I can’t stand it any more, being stuck in this god forsaken desert with this mad woman ranting and raving all through the night. If I am lucky, I get possibly 2 hours sleep. Please, either join my Class Action Suit, or find me someone to work with. Why do you think I filed a lawsuit out of the state I live? SO I COULD GET AWAY. I mean that’s why I tried to represent a Nevada LLC who’s owner is based in New York. TO GET AWAY! So again, I ask, for all that his holy, please sue someone. I can stand it. She never sleeps.

Also this man is an impostor, @ChasCarreon. I will be sending Twitter another Cease and Desist and demand that they turn over their domain name to me. They obviously are repeat offenders and have refused to hand over any dinosaurs I’ve requested. Once I own Twitter, I will find my impostors, and photoshop dicks all over their impostor faces. Oh glorious day.

Sometimes I drink more Starbucks than usual,

Charles Carreon Esq
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:45 pm

Finally Some Respect
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 24, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/24/f ... e-respect/

An article came out where I finally don’t sound like a complete lunatic! Wait what the hell… they updated it? What the fuck. NOOOOOO! Now I sound even crazier than before…

Inman posted Carreon’s letter on his website and said he would not pay the $20,000, but instead raise that amount to be split between the American Cancer Society and National Wildlife Federation, and send the attorney a photograph of the cash along with a drawing of Funny Junk’s mom seducing a kodiak bear. Born was the charity fundraiser dubbed “BearLove Good. Cancer Bad.”

In his lawsuit, Carreon described the fundraising logo as a “misogynistic cartoon depicting an obese female dressed in her underwear, with pendulous breasts popping out of her brassiere, an enormous posterior distended by an overstretched thong, rouged cheeks, and a crudely-lipsticked mouth, calling out to an apparently disinterested brown bear half her size, ‘COME HURR AND LOVE MEEEE!’” He also felt the mother drawing was aimed at his parent.

“Unbeknownst to Mr. Inman, I was very, very attached to my mom,” Carreon said by phone, referring to his mother as “a nice Catholic woman” who died in a drowning accident. “It struck a nerve.”


What the Nazi Illuminati Conspiracy Batman?! This is like the time the Nader campaign censored Tara for being too crazy. I mean we got Tech Dirt calling me nutty, ArsTechnica calling me hated, and now they’re changing articles where I finally sounded competent? I thought for once we’d get past the fact that I have the reading comprehension skills of a third grader. No this won’t due. I am going to sue the Mercury News for using my name. That’ll show them. Then they’ll have to write whatever I want or stop writing what so ever. Did they think that free speech applied to talking about me? Well at least Tara has figured out who’s behind that parody site of mine. It turns out it’s a person I am talking to in the comment section here, if that’s confusing enough! That’s some space man sending satellite brain waves down from the heavens stuff right there. People don’t get me, I’m like John Lennon. Which aptly enough makes her Yoko Ono.

Your Bear Killer,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:45 pm

My dick works.
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 24, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/24/my-dick-works/

HOW DARE THEY!?! DEFAMATION! These twits over at the Seattle Times said I was impotent! Let me quote this.

We know what the townspeople think: Carreon is a nuisance, shooting blanks.


Ask anyone. My dick works. ANYONE! Tara can tell you. Our goat… I mean… I’m having a really bad day here. I thought I’d sit an meditate, with my cowboy hat on, dreaming of being John Wayne and Matthew Inman was some guide with a weird accent. Then what happens… NAZIS! I am going to sue the Seattle Times for:

1.One billion dollars. Because my dick does work.

2.Their domain name.

3.Them to do fluff pieces on me for eternity.

4.60 dinosaurs. That’s right, mess with my erection, I get lots of dinos.

5.All of their staff members pictures for Tara’s art.

Charles Carreon Esq, Properly Functioning Men Parts.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:45 pm

Told you so.
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 25, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/25/t ... xclude=298

Well my detractors are out here again spewing villainous threats and making libelous statements about me (I’m looking at you W Ross and theMattScott). People out there have been claiming that I am devoid of clientele. Well my loyal followers, I have a new client and I can prove it! Here is a letter I received just today from one of our readers!

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Charles Carreon Esq

3214 Lostwood
Nowheretobefound
DI5EPAERDAFTERCLAIMTOWN
California
PP23443

Dear Mr Carreon,

I Wonder if you can possibly find the time in your obvious busy schedule to meet up
with me, for I intend to hire you as my legal representative/counsel for the here under stated affair.
The reason for me wanted to obtain your service is these that you have on first-hand knowledge of
the people involved and it seems to me that you are not deterred by some minor legal
inconveniences.

The case as I see it:

As of lately Mrs Tara Carreon and her daughter(s), when I am correctly informed these persons are
not unfamiliar to you, are stating their believes and viewpoints on an specific court case which
involves her husband/father and an breakfast meal or something. But my sources tell me that you
know which court case they are referring to.

Now there are other people that disagree with these women it is in the heated debates that follow
that lays my problem.

More than once these people refer to the women as being bat crazy, this I find despicable and I want
those people to being sued for the suggestion that they "suffer" from a case of rabies, contracted
due to the contact with bat's or their excrements.

I think we have a strong case here for it is bias, deformative and pure slander to imply such an illness
contracted from bats is present in these women, pure based on the way they express themselves.

The fact that Tara is your wife and her daughter(s) are yours to should present no legal
issue/deterrent for you as I understand from my sources.

So I want to sue all the people on the internet that suggest that my dear bats are responsible for the
crazy language posted by these women, for I have talked to them and they inform me that there is
no way the women have contracted rabies or any other bat related illness from them.

For the bats would rather clean their own droppings when these women come close for they do not
want to be implied in this madness, and stay far far away from these women in pure fear that they
could contract the thing these women carry.

Your sincerely,

Batman

7656 Batcavedrive
Eastern suburb
BATVILLE
P0443323


See that my friends, plenty of people want my services. Like this Bruce Way…. wait I wasn’t supposed to let anyone know that. Oops. Wait… I should have read that letter first… what Tara? I think he wants me to sue my wife. Well we’ll have to amend the complaint to sue anyone who mentions my wife or uses the phrase batshit crazy. That should do. So just a reminder to all readers, please don’t tell anyone I mentioned my clients real name and I am still looking for additional parties for my Class Action Suit.

Also I need to file another subpoena, it’s off to go Doe Hunting!

Censoring Your Detractors Since 2012,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:46 pm

A look back in time.
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 26, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/26/a ... xclude=458

I think it is time to share my original business plan with FunnyJunk, so that you all may see how this internet sensation began….

______________________________________________________

To: Bryan Durel
From: Charles Carreon
Subject: Your recent struggles with theoatmeal.com

Hello Bryan,

My name is Chas Carreon and I would like to propose a business plan to right a wrong done to you. I have been informed of your struggles with one Matthew Inman who has accused you of willful copyright infringement. I suggest that we make an example of this person and others through a series of steps outlined below.

1.I send a letter to Matthew Inman in order to extort recover lost profits up to the amount of $20,000.

2.I demand that he censor remove all references to FunnyJunk.com

3.I use the threat of trademark infringement to frighten encourage him.

4.Once Matthew Inman falls we will go after anyone who has spoken out against FunnyJunk in the past and demand further extortion money settlements.

If you agree that this could be a profitable enterprise between two internet savvy individuals such as ourselves, please reply.

Your Thug Friend,

Charles Carreon Esq.

______________________________________________________

There you have it. You know what they say… best laid plans and all.

Charles Carreon Esq.



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