charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:44 pm

I warned you all.
by Christopher Recouvreur
6/23/12
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/23/i-warned-you-all/

I told you it was coming. This will be the first in a long series of my righteous vengeance. Matt Scott, I find you guilty of blatant use of my name. Your sentence is penis.

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Now how smug do you feel with that on your chin? Tara was giggling as she crafted this masterpiece. I feel she really captured the subject in his awe of my righteous cartoon dick. You cannot stop me, I will not be reasoned with. I continue my righteous quest to find a Judge who doesn’t care about justice, so that I may make the American legal system my play thing. I am above reproach. Remember that.

Your Vengeful Legal God,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:45 pm

Get me out of here!
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 23, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/23/g ... t-of-here/

“I’ve come to see clients and witnesses as fuel to burn, weapons to deploy, and obstacles to be destroyed.” Maybe it’s that quote that got me relegated to representing me, myself, and Tara. Well I did get a new client, however I might have messed that up… I just wanted to get my way. I just wanted to be the savior of the internets. I really need clients, any clients will do. I can’t stand it any more, being stuck in this god forsaken desert with this mad woman ranting and raving all through the night. If I am lucky, I get possibly 2 hours sleep. Please, either join my Class Action Suit, or find me someone to work with. Why do you think I filed a lawsuit out of the state I live? SO I COULD GET AWAY. I mean that’s why I tried to represent a Nevada LLC who’s owner is based in New York. TO GET AWAY! So again, I ask, for all that his holy, please sue someone. I can stand it. She never sleeps.

Also this man is an impostor, @ChasCarreon. I will be sending Twitter another Cease and Desist and demand that they turn over their domain name to me. They obviously are repeat offenders and have refused to hand over any dinosaurs I’ve requested. Once I own Twitter, I will find my impostors, and photoshop dicks all over their impostor faces. Oh glorious day.

Sometimes I drink more Starbucks than usual,

Charles Carreon Esq
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:45 pm

Finally Some Respect
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 24, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/24/f ... e-respect/

An article came out where I finally don’t sound like a complete lunatic! Wait what the hell… they updated it? What the fuck. NOOOOOO! Now I sound even crazier than before…

Inman posted Carreon’s letter on his website and said he would not pay the $20,000, but instead raise that amount to be split between the American Cancer Society and National Wildlife Federation, and send the attorney a photograph of the cash along with a drawing of Funny Junk’s mom seducing a kodiak bear. Born was the charity fundraiser dubbed “BearLove Good. Cancer Bad.”

In his lawsuit, Carreon described the fundraising logo as a “misogynistic cartoon depicting an obese female dressed in her underwear, with pendulous breasts popping out of her brassiere, an enormous posterior distended by an overstretched thong, rouged cheeks, and a crudely-lipsticked mouth, calling out to an apparently disinterested brown bear half her size, ‘COME HURR AND LOVE MEEEE!’” He also felt the mother drawing was aimed at his parent.

“Unbeknownst to Mr. Inman, I was very, very attached to my mom,” Carreon said by phone, referring to his mother as “a nice Catholic woman” who died in a drowning accident. “It struck a nerve.”


What the Nazi Illuminati Conspiracy Batman?! This is like the time the Nader campaign censored Tara for being too crazy. I mean we got Tech Dirt calling me nutty, ArsTechnica calling me hated, and now they’re changing articles where I finally sounded competent? I thought for once we’d get past the fact that I have the reading comprehension skills of a third grader. No this won’t due. I am going to sue the Mercury News for using my name. That’ll show them. Then they’ll have to write whatever I want or stop writing what so ever. Did they think that free speech applied to talking about me? Well at least Tara has figured out who’s behind that parody site of mine. It turns out it’s a person I am talking to in the comment section here, if that’s confusing enough! That’s some space man sending satellite brain waves down from the heavens stuff right there. People don’t get me, I’m like John Lennon. Which aptly enough makes her Yoko Ono.

Your Bear Killer,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:45 pm

My dick works.
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 24, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/24/my-dick-works/

HOW DARE THEY!?! DEFAMATION! These twits over at the Seattle Times said I was impotent! Let me quote this.

We know what the townspeople think: Carreon is a nuisance, shooting blanks.


Ask anyone. My dick works. ANYONE! Tara can tell you. Our goat… I mean… I’m having a really bad day here. I thought I’d sit an meditate, with my cowboy hat on, dreaming of being John Wayne and Matthew Inman was some guide with a weird accent. Then what happens… NAZIS! I am going to sue the Seattle Times for:

1.One billion dollars. Because my dick does work.

2.Their domain name.

3.Them to do fluff pieces on me for eternity.

4.60 dinosaurs. That’s right, mess with my erection, I get lots of dinos.

5.All of their staff members pictures for Tara’s art.

Charles Carreon Esq, Properly Functioning Men Parts.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:45 pm

Told you so.
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 25, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/25/t ... xclude=298

Well my detractors are out here again spewing villainous threats and making libelous statements about me (I’m looking at you W Ross and theMattScott). People out there have been claiming that I am devoid of clientele. Well my loyal followers, I have a new client and I can prove it! Here is a letter I received just today from one of our readers!

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Charles Carreon Esq

3214 Lostwood
Nowheretobefound
DI5EPAERDAFTERCLAIMTOWN
California
PP23443

Dear Mr Carreon,

I Wonder if you can possibly find the time in your obvious busy schedule to meet up
with me, for I intend to hire you as my legal representative/counsel for the here under stated affair.
The reason for me wanted to obtain your service is these that you have on first-hand knowledge of
the people involved and it seems to me that you are not deterred by some minor legal
inconveniences.

The case as I see it:

As of lately Mrs Tara Carreon and her daughter(s), when I am correctly informed these persons are
not unfamiliar to you, are stating their believes and viewpoints on an specific court case which
involves her husband/father and an breakfast meal or something. But my sources tell me that you
know which court case they are referring to.

Now there are other people that disagree with these women it is in the heated debates that follow
that lays my problem.

More than once these people refer to the women as being bat crazy, this I find despicable and I want
those people to being sued for the suggestion that they "suffer" from a case of rabies, contracted
due to the contact with bat's or their excrements.

I think we have a strong case here for it is bias, deformative and pure slander to imply such an illness
contracted from bats is present in these women, pure based on the way they express themselves.

The fact that Tara is your wife and her daughter(s) are yours to should present no legal
issue/deterrent for you as I understand from my sources.

So I want to sue all the people on the internet that suggest that my dear bats are responsible for the
crazy language posted by these women, for I have talked to them and they inform me that there is
no way the women have contracted rabies or any other bat related illness from them.

For the bats would rather clean their own droppings when these women come close for they do not
want to be implied in this madness, and stay far far away from these women in pure fear that they
could contract the thing these women carry.

Your sincerely,

Batman

7656 Batcavedrive
Eastern suburb
BATVILLE
P0443323


See that my friends, plenty of people want my services. Like this Bruce Way…. wait I wasn’t supposed to let anyone know that. Oops. Wait… I should have read that letter first… what Tara? I think he wants me to sue my wife. Well we’ll have to amend the complaint to sue anyone who mentions my wife or uses the phrase batshit crazy. That should do. So just a reminder to all readers, please don’t tell anyone I mentioned my clients real name and I am still looking for additional parties for my Class Action Suit.

Also I need to file another subpoena, it’s off to go Doe Hunting!

Censoring Your Detractors Since 2012,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:46 pm

A look back in time.
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 26, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/26/a ... xclude=458

I think it is time to share my original business plan with FunnyJunk, so that you all may see how this internet sensation began….

______________________________________________________

To: Bryan Durel
From: Charles Carreon
Subject: Your recent struggles with theoatmeal.com

Hello Bryan,

My name is Chas Carreon and I would like to propose a business plan to right a wrong done to you. I have been informed of your struggles with one Matthew Inman who has accused you of willful copyright infringement. I suggest that we make an example of this person and others through a series of steps outlined below.

1.I send a letter to Matthew Inman in order to extort recover lost profits up to the amount of $20,000.

2.I demand that he censor remove all references to FunnyJunk.com

3.I use the threat of trademark infringement to frighten encourage him.

4.Once Matthew Inman falls we will go after anyone who has spoken out against FunnyJunk in the past and demand further extortion money settlements.

If you agree that this could be a profitable enterprise between two internet savvy individuals such as ourselves, please reply.

Your Thug Friend,

Charles Carreon Esq.

______________________________________________________

There you have it. You know what they say… best laid plans and all.

Charles Carreon Esq.



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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:46 pm

All of your domains are belong to me.
by Christopher Recouveur
June 26, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/26/a ... ong-to-me/

Step 2 in Operation Dead Bears and Happy Cancer. Remove any references from my name online that don’t directly quote me and support my statements. I submit this evidence to you my readers of how righteous my cause is, and that I will silence my detractors through any claims possible!

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Tara says this should be enough to make even the most hated members of the Pterodactyl Killer gang tremble in their computer chairs. Damn it, I forgot to demand pictures of the person’s face so Tara could draw penises on them. Well, I guess I could amend the complaint in like 3 days later. No big deal. I also need to demand more dinosaurs…

Your Righteous Defender of Silence,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:46 pm

Snakes in the grass.
by Christopher Recouveur
June 26, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/26/s ... the-grass/

Let me warn you all there are devious creatures out there, Tara call them Pisacca (Pishacha but she can’t spell), some call them demons, or pterodactyls, I call them snakes. These snakes feed you logical conclusions and try to make you a true believer in the devil Matthew Inman. So the question is, what do you do when the grass harbors snakes? You cut it down.

Think of the internet as a large field of tall grass, and you and your loved ones are walking through it. Do you want to be envenomed by these snakes? Do you want to give to charity because you are spitefully filled with venom? No you don’t. I know, because only I can tell you what to think.

We must burn the grass to the ground, we must cut it with our teeth and stop these snakes from slithering in and out of the inter tubes. There can be no true freedom when people can make fun of such a righteous man as I. I am freedom, by making fun of me, you are attacking freedom.

Your Ricki Tiki Tavi,

Charles Carreon Esq.



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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:47 pm

I find myself at a loss for words.
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 27, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/27/i ... for-words/

Why can’t I get my $200,000 without such a hassle? I have been vilified by the gestapo press and the Cannibal Kids out there. I have had this Ann lady call me a clothespin eater. I’ve had my peers shoot down my every legal theory. I just… I’m not feeling so high on life right now.

I leave you with some words from Tara:

And these Yellow Journalists say that’s how the “INTERNET” works. That’s not how the “INTERNET” works, it’s how it doesn’t work. These Yellow Journalists want to give the Internet to Loki. This attack against FunnyJunk and Charles Carreon is an attack against law and order. Matt Inman is an Internet anarchist. Fascists always love an anarchist. And the Journalists are part of the conspiracy, egging everyone on with their hate headlines, and advice for everyone to get crazy and ATTACK, ATTACK, ATTACK! There’s something very bad going on here, which greatly benefits the Publishing Industry, and the copyright chicken hawks. And I don’t know why we can’t get a simple yes or no from ANYONE about whether Matt Robert Inman is related to Bobby Ray Inman. Apparently, every journalist in the world doesn’t seem to think that knowing WHO Matt Inman is is important. He’s a man without parents, brothers and sisters, or childhood friends. A man without a past, just like Barack Obama. Sure, there’s lots of famous people like that in the world! Usually, they are children of Intelligence Agents, or Intelligence Agents themselves.

You got that right babe. Damn yellow journalist giving us up to Loki. Haven’t you people seen the Avengers movie?! LOKI IS THE BAD GUY!

Tinfoil Hat On and Ready,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:47 pm

Oh yes she did.
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 27, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/27/oh-yes-she-did/

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This week the Internet watched as an attorney tried to halt charitable giving and attack the First Amendment rights of a web comic, because said attorney’s feelings were hurt. What started as an amazing charity, which proved beyond a shadow of doubt the lengths the Internet is willing to go to preserve our rights to freedom of speech and help out great causes in the process, quickly became a legal circus, with the butthurt attorney as the ring leader. As a result of his legal shenanigans two charities that might have received sizable donations, now will not.

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