charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:49 pm

It’s all in the apostrophe.
by Christopher Recouvreur
June 30, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/30/i ... postrophe/

So Tara figured it out. It’s all in Inman’s grammar. His apostrophes are secret codes to incite rebellion and empower the Illuminati. His fixation with the English language betrays his knowledge of the “truth” language that can subvert the government and stop your taxation. These apostrophes here and there, not here nor there, they are a code. If we can break this code we could never pay a bill again. I hate paying bills, and when I fall late on them, I sue. See people don’t realize that about me sometimes. My therapist explained it to me well one day. This is how I work:

1.Get idea.
2.Take brash action.
3.Fail.
4.Blame others.
5.Sue.

It’s a simple blueprint that I repeat over and over, and it feels like I can’t stop. Like the time I built a house without a permit to use the land. Then when I got cited and eventually had to demolish the structure, I…. SUED. However unfortunately I lost that case because Oregon colluded to keep a Tyrannosaurus Rex away from me. They even had the gall to say that were no live dinosaurs in Oregon… typical CIA answers. You know what they say… Haters going to hate, Slater’s going to slate, and I’m going to slate.

Judging Your Grammar Nazism,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:49 pm

I donate because I care.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 1, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/01/i ... se-i-care/

So the only reason anyone would donate money to anyone else is for a tax exemption.

Finally, Inman fails to see that in order to avoid taking improper advantage of his misappropriation of the names of NWF and ACS, by means of which he led Bear Love donors to believe they were making tax deductible donations,


Seriously. Who the hell wants to pay taxes, and who cares about people with cancer? No one. So our government made it legal to claim any money you gave to the unwashed masses for their cancer could be deducted from your tax bill, that way cancer got its and you got yours. Now I only donated to Bear Love to get my goddamn tax credit, and I can’t even get it because I didn’t donate to the actual charity or something. What bullshit. See, I’m not suing to take all the money from Matthew Inman, all I want is my $10.00 tax credit and for everyone else to get their tax credit… man that sounded better in my head. I seriously need to buy better bullshit at the crazy market. No one is going to believe that’s why I’m suing Inman.

Fourth, they did not disclose Indiegogo’s fees at any time, since there is no “clickwrap” agreement to be signed digitally by donors at the time of contribution.


Maybe the whole part where I explain how they didn’t clickwrap a disclosure on any fees IndieGoGo asserted will stick. I’m shoveling shit faster than I can even keep up on that document. I impress myself sometimes. I don’t understand why we can’t just settle this thing out of court, I’ll accept $211,000 or one live Tyrannosaurus Rex. Let’s be reasonable people. I will also be filing to change the lawsuit parties to this:

CHARLES CARREON VS. THE ILLUMINATI
United States District Court
Northern District of California
Case No.: CV-12-3112-EMC


That will really hit home the point that I am a sane individual who can be trusted with a charitable trust. See they are the crazy people, The Illumianti. I am just a simple man, fighting for justice for all humans with the last name Carreon.

Respectfully,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:49 pm

Clarification.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 1, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/01/clarification/

I can see how this looks bad.

“California code is just so long, but there’s something in there about this,” (Note interview happened the night before the article was published otherwise known as June 14th)


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Based on what I saw on page one of Exhibit B, I understood that if I clicked to contribute, Indiegogo would give $5 to ACS and $5 to NWF. [...] With the expectation that I would be making a tax-deductible donation to two widely respected, trustworthy charities dedicated to the elimination of cancer the protection of wildlife, respectively, I donated $10 to the Bear Love campaign, and received the receipt attached as Exhibit C.


It looks bad, like I donated after threatening to find any way to sue Matthew Inman possible, just to twist California law in order to find cause… Seriously though, I don’t sue people over misconceived vendettas, I sue people for dinosaurs. I know it looks like I signed a letter to the court under the risk of perjury that I had no way to know that my donation was not tax deductible. I had no way to know that IndieGoGo was going to take 4% either. What sort of website offers to handle tons of financial transactions a day and charges? I thought banks, and paypal, and credit card companies just did it for the sake of humanity. NO ONE COULD HAVE KNOWN! Does anyone know a good lawyer?

Humbly,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:49 pm

I write this from an undisclosed location.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 1, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/01/i ... xclude=426

I want to have it known that I am not against the First Amendment. I love the freedom of speech. I just don’t love it when people exercise their freedom in a way that makes me look dumb. There needs to be limits, limits I say. You can’t just go around telling me you won’t take down any posts that make my client look stupid, and then humiliate me in the process. What was I supposed to do?

“I know I said there’d be money… um… well here’s a -picture- of money anyway… oh and a drawing of your mom trying to seduce a bear… What do you think of my job performance?”


You might not be a lawyer but imagine trying to tell a client, customer, boss, etc. that shit. That’s not something you can put on your resumé. How am I supposed to take that sentence above, go to Funny Junk and ask for a Tyrannosaurus Rex? I’m pretty sure those sort of results are what get’s you making these for a living at my age. Bad as that seems, it’s nothing compare to the truth.

Apparently this was all some Illuminati plot to discredit me. I am not sure if Funny Junk was involved in it, but Matthew Inman the clone of Bobby Ray Inman is definitely Illuminati. The Pope Hat Haters are all members of this shadowy organization trying to silence me from spreading the truth about their fascist plot to control our destiny. This is true proof that myself and Tara may be the only people left on Earth who are not being controlled by the Weeping Angels. If you need further proof look at this secret code instructing all Illuminati to converge and lay into work Project Clean Mind, aka brainwashing!

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Adam Steinbaugh • Jun 30, 2012 @9:46 pm

Now knowing this all as we do, I have moved to a secret bunker and will be surviving off of Vienna Sausages and Tang. I do not take this action lightly, but I can trust no one. For the sake of humanity we must go underground and rise again when the NWO has forgotten about us. I just wish I had secured a Tyrannosaurus Rex for the coming battles.

In Secrecy,

Charles Carreon Esq. Defender of Humanity
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:50 pm

It hurts.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 2, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/02/it-hurts/

I just received Indiegogo’s reply to my Temporary Restraining Order application and…. well… I feel like less of a man right now. I mean if some idiot law school graduate could foresee this and I couldn’t, what does that make me? I am still in hiding, but now my mood is as dark as this mud cave I am living in. I mean I could have filed the order earlier but I was busy stockpiling canned food and dry drink mixes. I could have researched how the fund donated via PayPal went straight to Inman, or consulted a tax attorney to see if Inman would even benefit from the donations. I could have found precedents like the Indiegogo attorneys instead of trying to quote random California statutes to make my complaints sound logical at the time. In retrospect, I could have just dropped this all when everyone was pissed at Funny Junk and not me, but… I didn’t, and I blame the Illuminati completely for forcing me into this. It’s a conspiracy. I just… hurt in my torso places. Anyway, I have to go pick earthworms out of my bran flakes…

Update: Inman has responded, my night isn’t getting any better… I should have hired his lawyers to represent me…

Despondently,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:50 pm

A break from character. Part 2
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 2, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/02/a ... er-part-2/

So here I find myself posting again outside of the character I have created on this website. I had said I would only do so if I was forced to, and I feel I have. This post is directed not only at Charles Carreon, but at any would be censor. You have no right to threaten me because I don’t like you. We are a society of free expression under the Constitution. We are not a society of freedom to commit Lawfare. You might be able to threaten frivolous legal action to me but I have the right to fight you with my every breath. I have never threatened you, your family, your friends, or any of your numerous organizations you have created. I have spoken out against you, I have satirized you. I have not photoshopped your face into pornography or your wife’s. Can you say the same of the people you satirized? No. I have also protected you. I have deleted comments on this blog that tried to identify your personal information. I have been granted no such thoughtfulness by you though.

There are good, decent, people in this world. People who go day by day working jobs they don’t like to support people they love. There are billionaire philanthropist who recognize other people’s plights and choose to take action. There are unintended heroes who by chance save someones life. I believe the good outweighs the bad on any given day. I also believe that if we don’t fight what we see as injustice, the bad goes on in the shadows happily unacknowledged. I am fortunate that good, decent and brilliant people have taken my defense so that I can shine a light on you. Thank you Paul Alan Levy, Cathy Gellis, and Kenneth P. White. Those people and anyone who stands up against censorship are my heroes.

You might hate what I have to say and I might hate what you have to say but I have never said anything on this blog that wasn’t done for the sake of information and humor. I have not called you a murderer and have not asked for you to be water boarded. I have remained civil as a satirist can. However now you come to me with THIS:

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You have blatantly tried to censor me and in the course have threatened a company who has provided me service. You have threatened me as well. You have said that you will litigate me when and where you want and until I can litigate no further. You have tried to use the fear of financial ruin to keep me silent.

I will not stand down now, or ever. Did you think that because I choose to remain anonymous (for this reason exactly) that I am weak? My voice is as loud as yours and with every threat it becomes louder. I will not bend or break. I will remain a lawful citizen who chooses to speak out. I will not be censored as you have tried to do to myself and others. This isn’t just about me, this is about my children and yours. So that they can one day speak out as I have if they feel the need.

You are probably going to try to make this about trademarks, however as people’s right to create fair use sites based on trademarks has been settled numerous times before, that is a hollow argument. This is about you being upset and wanting to use whatever law you think you can to stop me from speaking. This is about you thinking that because you have the resource of being a lawyer yourself that you can shape the public conversation as you see fit. This is about you using your resources to shut down critics like your parody accounts on Twitter, or offering a $500.00 reward to anyone who would name the person behind it. Or threatening bloggers with legal action, as your wife has done. These are the actions of a censor.

This site will be a part of your living legacy. I had thought I’d do this website and eventually it’d stop getting traffic one day. That I’d move it to another domain, created for a new project, for archive purposes alone. I know some day no one will care about you enough to look at this site. However today I swear before anyone who is reading this and before my deity of choice, that this domain will stay open and available to the public as long as I can afford to do so.

You could have engaged me in meaningful dialogue. You could have put your angry hat away and emailed me. I would have agreed to disagree, but I would have listened to your concerns. I might have even agreed to find a mutually respectful compromise. I can disagree with your actions and still seek civility. That is over now. I have been threatened, my rights have been threatened, and I do not negotiate under threat. You cannot silence me for disagreeing with you. You cannot silence others who disagree with you.

Consider this my not so kind hearted way of saying fuck off,

Satirical Charles
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:50 pm

Donna Barstow
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 3, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/03/donna-barstow/

I have read that you are having troubles with people reposting your content to their site and making fun of it. As I am a Internet Lawyer, I know very well how frustrating the people of the internet can be. It must be even more frustrating that they might be gays, African Americans, Muslims, or Mexicans. I believe I can help. For the retainer fee of 1 live Tyrannosaurus Rex, I will send these awful minorities a cease and desist demanding that they relinquish their domain name to you, remove all your stolen content from all internet sites ever, and pay $20,000 for defamation. I litigated the sex.com case and won, so you are in excellent and professional hands. Also if you would like we could trademark your name so that anyone who uses it would have to pay you licensing fees or you could just sue them if your disagreed with what they had to say.

Another avenue I am very skilled at is managing client’s trust funds. We could set up a trust so that any litigation taken against you would not be able to dip into said fund. I would expertly manage it and you could feel safe your were in good hands. Please feel free to call me any time at: 900-CAR-REON [$4.99/minute] and remember, when the internet gets you down, Keep Calm and Call Carreon.

Warm Regards,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:51 pm

Wait a second here…
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 3, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/03/w ... cond-here/

WHO DO PAUL LEVY AND CATHY GELLIS THINK THEY ARE? Here is how the legal system works folks.

1.I send cease and desist letters quoting random laws, demand dinosaurs.

2.You either A) Hand over dinosaurs and cease and desist or B) move to step 3

3.I then threaten you with anything that sounds really scary. I prefer ultra villainous 10 point plans when I’m really feeling frisky.

4.You either A) Hand over dinosaurs and cease and desist or B) move to step 5

5.I sue you and take said dinosaurs by legal force.

6.You cry.

Where in the 6 step legal plan cited in every law book Tara’s ever written, do you sue me? Answer: NO WHERE! You can’t sue me for wanting to sue you, that’s some sort of time paradox, like when Marty McFly’s mom had a crush on him in the past. It’s wrong, it’s dirty, it shouldn’t happen. Not only do they sue me, but they infringe my trademark in the very filing by using my name?! This is unacceptable, preposterous, and maniacal. These Illuminati will stop at nothing.

Nothing is sacred. I specifically told Paul to forward my letter to Ralph Nader, not send it back to me attached to a declaratory filing! Can he not read? I ASKED FOR RALPH NADER NOT LAWSUITS!

Okay so I’ve tried to count how many times these people have used my name, and I ran out of fingers, toes, and broken crayons, so let us assume that they owe me the following.

1.Citizen Public will point it’s domain at this blog.

2.Cathy Gellis will point her domain at this blog.

3.Kenneth P. White will point Pope Hat at this blog.

4.I will take under my charitable trust, 300 living Tyrannosaurus Rexes, or 900 T-Rex eggs.

5.Paul Alan Levy will forward all of Tara’s writings to Ralph Nader.

If my demands are not met, I will make further youtube videos, force feed red bull to cats and release them in your parked cars, and sue you for suing me.

Battle Warrior Armored,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:51 pm

Be Heard Part 1
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 3, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/03/b ... xclude=445

An anonymous reader sent me this. The fact that they have to worry about sharing their opinion upsets me. If you are causing people to think twice about expressing themselves, good chances are, you are now a censor. I guess that’s what happens when you threaten to name 100 Does in a lawsuit. You make anyone who talked about you wonder “Am I next?”

Honestly, I’ve been willing to give Mr. Carreon the benefit of the doubt. Despite all appearances he may truly believe he is right in all of this. Possibly this is the result of his otherwise noble intentions corrupted for reason I cannot fathom. I could imagine he is lonely. I could imagine he is confused by the legions of friends and acquaintances that have shunned him publicly. I start to pity him.

But, just as I am starting to wonder how hollow his world is, I feel fear. I have been reading and commenting on various blogs during this ordeal. I have not been as derisive as most, but I have openly mocked him. I have been doing the same types of activities that I have been doing on many different hobby sites. Could I somehow be drug into this as one of Carreon’s enemies? Could I be sued by Charles Carreon for generally minding my daily business? His ability to find cause is impressive. I wouldn’t have the resources to defend myself if he tried to hound me today, or three years from now. His actions and attitudes have made my daily routine feel dangerous. I am afraid to post, to read, to surf. He might somehow decide I have wronged him.

This is why, in the moment before I feel real pity for the fate he has inflicted upon himself, I think to myself, “Fuck you, Charles Carreon.”


Another reader emails me:

I used to work for the Ramones for quite a while with the sound company and I can tell you WITHOUT A DOUBT that the Ramones would not appreciate that toolbag Charles Carreon wearing any Ramones swag in public. I wish he would refrain from tarnishing the Ramone image while he spreads his legal clap-trap around the web.


Being an informative person I reply:

How do you feel about him using joeyramone.org for his stuff?


To which they replied:

If it was up to me, I`d sue him for using the likenesses and what not. As a matter of fact, now that I`m aware of this site, I`ll call attention to it to the appropriate people.


If anyone else has emailed me or is going to, and wants to be in my next segment let me know. I might even turn “Ask Charles” into an actual page. Ideas?

[Edited for clarity]
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:51 pm

Charles Carreon vs the Illuminati.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 3, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/03/c ... exclude=70

I have had some time to reflect over the events since last Friday. Tara and I laid out on the desert ground staring up at the stars and looking for the satellites that control people’s thoughts, one of our favorite hobbies and I got to thinking… I need to amend my legal strategies immediately to counter the Illuminati threat. These people are running around hacking the court filing system and making me look like a loon. I am not a loon, or a looney toon, or anything that begins loo. I am a great and mighty defender of the legal rights of people to file whatever lawsuit they want, whenever they want, where ever they want, no matter it’s merits.

1.File a federal lawsuit against Paul Levy for using my name in a blog.

2.Force all bloggers and journalist to redact my name and place in it’s place Censored on the request of Charles Carreon Esq.

3.Sue the internet itself to point all hyperlinks to this blog so that I may teach you all my religion of censorship.

4.Demand that Universal Studios, who made Jurassic Park, provide me with live dinosaurs trained to eat my critics.

5.Also demand that Universal Studios make a trilogy of movies centering around me in the wild west as Arizona Kid.

6.Have the phrase Jelly Bean removed from all online sites as well as printed material.

7.Install Tara Carreon as Acting Despot of the United States of Charles Carreon.

8.Make the acronym EFF illegal.

9.I will sue anyone who registers a domain name for me in my name because Charles Carreon doesn’t have domain names, he just has righteous legal thunder.

10.I will also sue Chuck Norris and the Most Interesting Man in the World, for being perceived as more righteous than I.
Also one last warning to whoever these people are commenting on my blogs, I never gave you permission, stop hacking my internet systems. I will use the finest internet forensics to track you down and sue you, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day I will be there. Some people are calling me a censor, why is that a bad thing? I just want people to only say nice things no matter what I do. You can trust me.

Defiant Against Logic,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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