charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:57 pm

Dave Thomas Writes In
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 17, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/17/d ... writes-in/

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Dear Charles,

Thank you for including me in your lovely website. I have to say, I’m a bit confused. My website is a simply a piece of fiction. I created it in an effort to write some humor about a fictional character named Charles Carrion (the last name is based on the dead rotting meat that vultures feed upon).

It seems that funny songs are popular these days, so I produced a parody in the voice of my fictional character Charles Carrion. I admit, the site is a work in progress, and the writing is amateur and sophomoric at best, but it’s a hobby.

However, if you’d like to continue to list me on your curious website, please know that my FULL name is Dave Felton. I’m in advertising and I’m an entrepreneur.

Have a lovely day.

Dave

PS, While I appreciate your offer of the purchase of a bottle of vanilla for the domain name, please know that my asking price is $20,000. xoxo


You see how these Illuminati fast food clones roll? First they try to distort reality with logic and facts, then he tries to tell me his name isn’t Dave Thomas. This is ridiculous and quite frankly, I’m having none of it. Don’t be trying to shove down my throat some crazy conspiracy theory that you’re not the genetic clone of Dave Thomas. Buddy, we all know you are some test tube grown Illuminati drone sent to destroy my reputation, life, and freedom. See, I’ve been onto your tricks since you made square hamburger patties. What sort of mind fuck is that? A guy is just tripping out, wanting a burger, and they hand me a burger on a round bun with a square patty. I couldn’t stop sucking my thumb for days after that, rocking in the corner calling out for mommy. You’re and evil bastard Dave. Oh, and I hate your song.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:58 pm

Be Heard III
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 18, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/18/be-heard-iii/

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One Concerned Soul
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One Concerned Soul, aka One Fucked-Up Soul

Dear Mr. Carreon,

My name is Richard Walls, one of the many people whose emails you published in public recently on your site. In my previous electronic letter I assumed and gave you the benefit of the doubt having faith that you would be a sensible and appreciable man who could take my honest criticism and do some good with it. I wrote to you with a sincerely positive intention and am shocked to find that my email has found its way into your ‘hatemail’ display. You are attempting, very blatantly, to draw attention to individuals who have criticized you in a negative way which is a far more obvious attempt at defamation of character than that which has been directed at yourself. This ‘wall of shame’ is unacceptably childish for an adult, much less a legal professional, and I would advise you to remove it for the sake of what remains of your reputation in the world. I was not a part of any organized attempts to harm your character, I had no interest in bringing you down, only in helping you better understand and emerge from your situation with as little harm as possible. I am not a zombie, I am not a defamer, and I am not a man who will tolerate this ridiculous attempt at internet bullying. Your publishing of my name and email address mean only enough to catch my attention, not enough to harm or cause me any personal distress, though the concept behind this sickens me. Mr. Carreon I had hoped you would be a better man than people portrayed you but you continue to exceed the stated expectations.

Attached to this you should find a photo of myself because I am not afraid to have my opinions and my words acknowledged and attributed to me so please, go ahead. You’ve got a photo to work with so I’m sure you can give me a section in your ‘rapeutationists’ page. I’ll even write the jokes for you, ‘this dirty fecal-frumper is going to have to come out of the bathroom closet someday. Its only a matter of time afterall, everyone who disagrees with me is just a sexy turd away from ending up like this fag.’ See? I put together your two favorite things, bad poop and bad gay jokes. If you don’t like that heres a handful of things I’ve accomplished you can make fun of and demonize: Debate team, practicing poet/artist, Atheist, library volunteer work with children and young adults, volunteer shelter work, Portuguese, Eagle Scout, Under 6′ tall, roleplayer, etc. I have no fear of you or your attempts to demonize myself or any other persons seeking to honestly and critically offer their thoughts to you. You, however, seem to be terrified of it. Your blog refuses comments, your posted emails have yours omitted, and you’ve made many efforts to make it difficult for you to be reached and responded to in any form. This is ineffective and frankly, disgraceful. There is one very important thing to note though, I will not come down to your level and spout out juvenile comments unintended for humor. I admittedly made light of your situation in the concluding paragraph of my email, hoping the humor might brighten your day, but I never wrote with a malicious intent towards anyone as you have and do.

I am not a hater, I am not a detractor, I am not a zombie, I am not a rapeutationist, I am not part of any organized attack. I am a concerned individual who has taken time out of their busy day to address you in the hopes that you’ll retain some rationality and come to the conclusion that your downwards spiral will get you nowhere except deeper in the pile of shit…yes, I made a poop joke, you’re not the only one who can chuckle at brown stuff.

Sincerely,

OneConcernedSoul
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:58 pm

Be Heard IV
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 18, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/18/b ... xclude=477

Here are two letters from the secret Illuminati member Shannon. Quite frankly I can’t even figure out how Mr. Carreon was able to read her email address when she mailed him, as it was encrypted through CIA servers.

Hey SatCharles!

This is so cool! I figured the slime ball wouldn’t even take the time to read my email, much less post it for the whole world to see!! I feel so powerful right now I’m almost giddy. All of this just because I love my oatmeal!

I’ve been called many things in my 48 years on Earth, but no one has ever called me a “rapeutationist” before. I might need to get some new business cards made. I think it should be spelled with a capital R for proper reverence and effect. After all, there can be that many of us, right? I was never comfortable with the whole “soccer mom” stereotype label. OMG-the other mom’s are going to be so freaking jealous when they hear about this! Top that bitches!
I am disappointed that he didn’t answer any of my questions and that you have to scroll through almost all of the other letters to get to mine. Do you think I should write him again with a little reminder that I’m still awaiting his reply? You know us rapeutationists, if nothing else, we are a determined group! Of course, I can only speak for myself, I wouldn’t want to overstep my bounds or misrepresent myself as a “rapeutationist.” You know, if you say it slowly, it almost sounds kind of sexy in a weird, twisted way. You gotta give him credit, the guy has a way with words!

So thanks for the heads-up!

Shannon (yep-it’s my real name)

————————————————————————————————
First of all, thank you again for letting me know about this. Mr. Carreon has not made any direct contact with me even though he has my full name, city of residence and a valid email address. I have lived in the same home for 18 years, so my street address and home phone number would be easy to locate either online or in the local phone book.

Those of us here in Seattle are proud of the neighborhood we call “Funky” Fremont, also known as “The Center of the Known Universe.” The residents like to claim they started the bumper sticker revolution that asked for “Whirrled Peas” rather than world peace. They host a naked bicycle parade every year on the summer solstice that is a sight to behold. They even have a life-size troll carved under the I-5 Freeway bridge at the Fremont Exit. Matthew Inman and The Oatmeal are an important piece of the Fremont family.

I can copy any design or project but I didn’t inherit the gene to create new and magical things and I am in awe of those that can. Mr. Inman has the ability to make people laugh in a world where there is sometimes very little to laugh at. My life isn’t an easy one, I won’t bore you with the details, but I need every laugh, smile, or guffaw I can get. When FunnyJunk stole original ideas from Mr. Inman. He went through the proper channels asking them to stop. As a result, he has ended up in a big fat pile of crazy.

I was not, as Mr. Carreon claims, “marshaled into an army” nor did I try to ”besiege (my) website and send (me) a string of obscene emails.” I wouldn’t have a clue how to “besiege” any one or any thing. I have no idea what a “denial of service” attack is either. I’m just a gal from Seattle lending support to neighbor. I wrote one polite, slightly tongue-in-cheek letter asking the attorney representing Funnyjunk to explain what had happened and what was going to happen. (I also asked him his personal views of television programs such as LA Law and Mad Men, but that is neither here nor there.) My letter contained no obscenities. The idea that he is accusing me of a form of rape makes my stomach turn. His mocking of such a serious crime against humanity is vile and I believe shows his true colors.

Print this and my first letter to you if you wish. Like I have said before, I’m a big girl and can spot a bully a mile away. I speak only the truth and live my life with no regrets. Bring it on Mr. Carreon. You have been warned.

Shannon Radoll (this is my real name)

aka-Shannon in Seattle, sradoll@yahoo.com
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:58 pm

Illuminati Propoganda
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 20, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/20/i ... ropoganda/

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These Illuminati will stop at nothing, nothing I say! First they try to convince us that water can be a gas, when we all know it’s a liquid. Then they try to convince me that without gravity I could fall into space. Hello? Things don’t fall up! It isn’t enough that they clone Dave Thomas, that they brainwash Ronald McDonald, and they try to fake the moon landing…

Now these slanderous infidels try to tell me that dinosaurs are birds? BIRDS?! Yeah like I’m going to clone some Tyrannosaurus Rex and it’s going to cluck around looking for seeds. What idiots. Do you know how big a seed would have to be to feed a Tyrannosaurus Rex? Why would it even need teeth and claws if it were to eat seeds. Dinosaurs don’t have feathers, haven’t they seen Jurassic Park? Idiots. If dinosaurs had feathers I’m not a competent lawyer! These revisionist are trying to rewrite history and science as we know it and I just cannot understand why no one else sees it. This is all part of the OTTC. Just remember, if Michael Crichton didn’t write it about dinosaurs, it isn’t true.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:59 pm

Goodbye.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 21, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/21/goodbye/

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Twelve candles I’ve lit tonight
While twelve families are left to cry
These candles to illuminate spirit’s sight
Their souls immortal, as our bodies die
Give them a path through your light
Stolen from us without a reason why
Let these candles burn tonight
So that tomorrow we can say goodbye

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:59 pm

The conspiracy continues.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 21, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/21/t ... continues/

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I have started mapping this evil time traveling plot against me and the decency I stand for. It goes back centuries and time itself has been unraveled to attack me. It all started after the drafting of the United States Constitution. Did you know there were no guarantees of free speech in it? No these rights were amended through the Bill of Rights created in 1789 and ratified in 1791. The Constitution was created in 1787!

Do you see what I see? The Oatmeal sent his legions back in time to intimidate and coerce the leaders of our young republic to include the Bill of Rights! Why? So they could attack me! So they could say whatever they thought about me, and generally be mean stinky pants. This OTTC is wide ranging and at the root of every “freedom” that has been used to deprive me of my rightful due. They are changing our very history so they can bring me battle on multiple fronts!

This is like when they successfully convinced people the Earth revolved around the Sun. If the Earth moves around the Sun why does the Sun move in the sky? You can’t answer that, because it’s false. If the Sun was the center of the galaxy it wouldn’t move! Next they’re going to tell me the Moon changes in the sky because the Earth revolves around that too. Madness. I can’t begin to even understand how these Illuminati have infiltrated every aspect of the scientific community, but the proof is there. If I see it happen with my own eyes, I know it’s true.

Martyr,

Charles Carreon Esq.



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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:59 pm

WordPress is part of the Nazi conspiracy.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 23, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/23/w ... onspiracy/

So I am trying to write a post and have all these graphic aids and links to relevant material like the good internet specialist I am, and the Nazis at wordpress.com won’t let me link or upload photos. Their user forums say they are “down” but I know better. Their part of the CIA Illuminati mission: Bowl of Oatmeal. Bastards.

FUBAR,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:59 pm

Jack Daniel’s needs new representation.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 23, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/23/j ... sentation/

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Look at this. Just look at it. Blah blah blah, I’m a nice Tennessee lawyer. What the hell are these people doing? Not only do they not threaten this person’s ability to speak freely about their brand, but they even offer him money? YOU DEMAND MONEY! This is what gives us lawyers a bad name, people trying to deceive the public into thinking we should be nice and polite. I don’t care if they got the intended result. We are lawyers, warriors of the legalese, knights of financial destruction, bearers of the bar, etc. These guys came out looking like Colonel Sanders (another cloned fast food Illuminati pawn). You never go full Colonel Sanders.

What sort of lawyering is that? How are you supposed to finance a dinosaur army with good wishes and polite word craft? I am going to write Jack Daniel’s today and demand they drop their incompetent counsel in trade for my services. Not only will I not throw their money away at any would be author turned copyright infringer, but I’ll procure the finest dinosaur DNA for a joint cloning venture. Look at the picture above, my experiments with Tyrannosaurus DNA and kitten DNA is really paying off. We are just a few steps away from crushing these First Amendment advocates. With my newly preposed tort and the dinosaur clones, we’ll rule the internet and the world. Below is how I will respond in the future to trademark infringement if I become Jack Daniel’s lead counsel:

1.Demand at least but not limited to $100,000

2.Threaten to sue in any of 30 jurisdictions in order to scare the target into compliance.

3.Demand they hand over all copies of the infringement for destruction and any domain names they control.

4.Inform them that I can litigate for essentially forever, especially once I clone myself therefor ensuring my immortality.

5.That once I crush the Illuminati, I will use their time travel devices to erase the infringer from existence.

6.That I can and will name them horrible things like “rapeutationist” and draw genitals on their faces.

7.Demand attorney fees in the form of dinosaurs.

8.Ask that they forward my demand letter to Ralph Nader.

Mad as hell,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:00 pm

Often imitated never duplicated.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 25, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/25/o ... uplicated/

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John C. Dorvak is about to get a cease and desist like he’s never seen before. These sort of theories and government conspiracies are clearly plagiarized from Nader Library. It’s like he took entire posts, combined them into one, and changed the words around to hide it. This is unacceptable and I do not find it the least bit amusing. I would be okay with this only if I felt he was being genuine, which clearly he is not because he never once mentioned the Illuminati or dinosaurs. We all know that secret government wire taps have to be approved by Matthew Inman and his Illuminati cohorts. It’s basic logic.

I don’t know where this Johnny boy gets off trying to twist the facts and deceive good Americans into believing that the NSA or FBI act upon anything without their Nazi conspirator’s approval. I will not have my beliefs distorted to fit into some technobabble fantasy land. This is the worst sort of crime imaginable, a crime of faith and virtue. Why do these people think that they can mock intellectual property that others have spent their entire lives creating and researching. You know how many religious teachings had to be perverted to come up with that work? Billions. Seriously. So go ahead and laugh John, but when the dinosaur revolution begins you’ll be another dinosnack.

With steel resolve,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:00 pm

Be Heard V
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 26, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/26/be-heard-v/

Anonymous wrote:

Mr. Carreon, no doubt are you aware of the shitstorm that went on when tosh.0 made a heinous rape joke: such behavior is very problematic. This isn’t a threat of any kind, but I, and many others, would greatly appreciate if you didn’t fling around the word ‘rape’ in such a joking manner, such as with your website: “rapeutation.com”

The usage of the word is highly offensive and references a terrifying act of power and violence against another individual that, while I do not wish to diminish whatever trauma you may have received via threats and humiliation due to the oatmeal case, is not comparable to a sexual assault. I would appreciate it if you would put this into consideration and rename your website.


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