charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:59 pm

WordPress is part of the Nazi conspiracy.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 23, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/23/w ... onspiracy/

So I am trying to write a post and have all these graphic aids and links to relevant material like the good internet specialist I am, and the Nazis at wordpress.com won’t let me link or upload photos. Their user forums say they are “down” but I know better. Their part of the CIA Illuminati mission: Bowl of Oatmeal. Bastards.

FUBAR,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:59 pm

Jack Daniel’s needs new representation.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 23, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/23/j ... sentation/

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Look at this. Just look at it. Blah blah blah, I’m a nice Tennessee lawyer. What the hell are these people doing? Not only do they not threaten this person’s ability to speak freely about their brand, but they even offer him money? YOU DEMAND MONEY! This is what gives us lawyers a bad name, people trying to deceive the public into thinking we should be nice and polite. I don’t care if they got the intended result. We are lawyers, warriors of the legalese, knights of financial destruction, bearers of the bar, etc. These guys came out looking like Colonel Sanders (another cloned fast food Illuminati pawn). You never go full Colonel Sanders.

What sort of lawyering is that? How are you supposed to finance a dinosaur army with good wishes and polite word craft? I am going to write Jack Daniel’s today and demand they drop their incompetent counsel in trade for my services. Not only will I not throw their money away at any would be author turned copyright infringer, but I’ll procure the finest dinosaur DNA for a joint cloning venture. Look at the picture above, my experiments with Tyrannosaurus DNA and kitten DNA is really paying off. We are just a few steps away from crushing these First Amendment advocates. With my newly preposed tort and the dinosaur clones, we’ll rule the internet and the world. Below is how I will respond in the future to trademark infringement if I become Jack Daniel’s lead counsel:

1.Demand at least but not limited to $100,000

2.Threaten to sue in any of 30 jurisdictions in order to scare the target into compliance.

3.Demand they hand over all copies of the infringement for destruction and any domain names they control.

4.Inform them that I can litigate for essentially forever, especially once I clone myself therefor ensuring my immortality.

5.That once I crush the Illuminati, I will use their time travel devices to erase the infringer from existence.

6.That I can and will name them horrible things like “rapeutationist” and draw genitals on their faces.

7.Demand attorney fees in the form of dinosaurs.

8.Ask that they forward my demand letter to Ralph Nader.

Mad as hell,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:00 pm

Often imitated never duplicated.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 25, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/25/o ... uplicated/

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John C. Dorvak is about to get a cease and desist like he’s never seen before. These sort of theories and government conspiracies are clearly plagiarized from Nader Library. It’s like he took entire posts, combined them into one, and changed the words around to hide it. This is unacceptable and I do not find it the least bit amusing. I would be okay with this only if I felt he was being genuine, which clearly he is not because he never once mentioned the Illuminati or dinosaurs. We all know that secret government wire taps have to be approved by Matthew Inman and his Illuminati cohorts. It’s basic logic.

I don’t know where this Johnny boy gets off trying to twist the facts and deceive good Americans into believing that the NSA or FBI act upon anything without their Nazi conspirator’s approval. I will not have my beliefs distorted to fit into some technobabble fantasy land. This is the worst sort of crime imaginable, a crime of faith and virtue. Why do these people think that they can mock intellectual property that others have spent their entire lives creating and researching. You know how many religious teachings had to be perverted to come up with that work? Billions. Seriously. So go ahead and laugh John, but when the dinosaur revolution begins you’ll be another dinosnack.

With steel resolve,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:00 pm

Be Heard V
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 26, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/26/be-heard-v/

Anonymous wrote:

Mr. Carreon, no doubt are you aware of the shitstorm that went on when tosh.0 made a heinous rape joke: such behavior is very problematic. This isn’t a threat of any kind, but I, and many others, would greatly appreciate if you didn’t fling around the word ‘rape’ in such a joking manner, such as with your website: “rapeutation.com”

The usage of the word is highly offensive and references a terrifying act of power and violence against another individual that, while I do not wish to diminish whatever trauma you may have received via threats and humiliation due to the oatmeal case, is not comparable to a sexual assault. I would appreciate it if you would put this into consideration and rename your website.


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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:00 pm

SMISH, SMIDS, and Smurfs.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 27, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/27/s ... nd-smurfs/

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Social Media Induced Self Hate (SMISH) and Social Media Induced Delusional Syndrome (SMIDS) are two undiagnosed, non-researched, unproven, and unpopular diseases much like a Smurf infestation. We all know Smurfs and cats don’t get along, but what the Illuminati Media won’t tell you is that Smurfs hate cats because their genetic markers can help in cloning freedom dinosaurs. This is a very real triad of problems facing our world today and we must take a stand against SMISH, SMIDS, and Smurfs.

So I was reading the Red Book by Carl Jung with Tara before her bedtime and came up with these terms. Here is a brief summary:

Many SMISH-sufferers alternate between SMISH and SMIDS on an occasional basis, joining occasionally with Social Media Mobs to hurl Cybercurses at various ObHats, thereby demonstrating their loyalty to dominant SMPeers, and ensuring themselves against becoming an ObHat themselves.


I have no idea what I said there, but it sounds smart right? See psychology isn’t so hard. 10 minutes of reading every night and 3 google searches and you can be a specialist in anything. You don’t need scientist telling you that the sky in blue because of some sort of refraction of light off the ocean, if that was true on land the sky would be brown or green. Stupid Illuminati lies. You don’t need teachers to teach you, you can read books and go to Nader Library for all your information. Or you can use the real truth, the one that speaks to you in your head at night and tells you the secrets of the universe. This is why I feel I am particularly well suited to give mental health advice, because the voices in my head tell me what crazy is. I know crazy on an intimate level because I am connected to the universe through my mind.

See you can’t let social normalities get in the way of your goals or pursuit of truth. This is just like the time I used my employer’s laptop for personal emails and tried to keep it. Never let the Illuminati keep you down. Never.

Psychologist,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:00 pm

All charity is scam. AKA Relinquish your money to I.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 28, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/28/a ... oney-to-i/

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2 gazillion dollars a year is misappropriated by charities. All charities are evil. If you need to give your money away, do it the American way, invest it. Right now I am accepting all levels of investments in my next level of DinoCloning(TM) the amazing… Raccoonosaurus Rex. After the success of the Kittenosaurus Rex I’ve had investors lined up around the block, but now through my secret blog (the one you are reading now) I can accept your investments immediately. Just be a pal and leave your full name, SNN, bank account number, bank routing number, date of birth, place of birth, and mother’s maiden name in my comment section with an investment amount. Remember, don’t donate, dinoate.

Charitable Investment Manager,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:01 pm

Guest Blog!
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 30, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/30/guest-blog/

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http://rapeutation.com/2012/07/28/charity-fraud/

Sometimes I hate Wikipedia, but sometimes it’s my go to source for information! You might think that’s weird but it’s not, it’s like the way David Winn Miller uses the courts for evil, instead of the way Charles uses them (for money justice.) Want to know more about David Winn Miller? Go to Wikipedia!

Except don’t go for the article about my husband, or my library’s legal troubles. Wikipedia is not a legitimate source, and it run by the Illuminati Nihilists at the Facebooks, probably. ZUCKERBERG, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO HIDE!?

For example look at the article for Ken’s hate-blog Popehat.com (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Popehat). As you can see, it doesn’t have ANYTHING AT ALL about him trying to destroy us. It doesn’t even talk about his lawyering.

So yeah, Wikipedia is pretty much a nonsource (Nonsense?) and you never really want to refer to it, except when you do because it IS the encyclopedia of the people and not the lame stream media. And if you’re not sure if a source is good or not, ask a librarian!

Consistently,

Satirical Tara Carreon

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:01 pm

The People Rise Up!
by Christopher Recouvreur
August 1, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/08/01/t ... e-rise-up/

We live in one of the poorest neighborhoods in Tucson out of solidarity to our poor brothers and sisters (we bought our house for $170,000), and we own one Prius. We’re not by any means rich. We get by month to month like the rest of you. We hardly ever go out to eat, because it’s a waste of money. The only thing we ever buy is books and movies. We don’t go on vacations. Our biggest monthly bill is our water bill, because we do splurge on watering our little forest. The first thing we did was have a backhoe come out and dig about 25 huge holes in our yard, and plant trees.


We are common man, people’s people, dirt under our finger nails, working in the sun type of people. I mean, well… we hate the sun, hence the trees. You have to have trees, lots of trees, because they stop you from getting sun burned! Just what every average poor American does. Buy a house, hire someone to dig 25 huge holes, drive a Prius around.

Everyone knows that to show solidarity with the unwashed masses, you buy a house that people who make minimum wage can’t afford. When most poor people are forced to throw away what little money they have on rent, it really shows them what a people’s person I am to move into their neighborhood and own my house. It’s like setting a good example for them. I like to go around saying “Hi, I know you work a menial job for less than optimal wages, but look you can own your own home too. Just become a lawyer like me. Super easy.”

Everyone knows poor people need to save money. That’s why I drive a Prius. You know how much I save on gas? If only more poor people bought Priuses instead of used cars that got horrible gas mileage, they’d be rich! So stop spending a couple thousand dollars on cheap old cars and invest in your future. Anyone can make car payments of $500 a month. Get some common sense poor people.

I am a man of the people, a successful lawyer, with many clients, who just wants to show the unwashed masses how to live a good life. Is that so wrong? Soon I will buy an island so the poor people and I can live in peace and do genetic experiments to create dinosaurs.

Role Model,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:01 pm

Down Under.
by Christopher Recouvreur
August 3, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/08/03/down-under/

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The controversial billionaire is rumoured to be planning to clone a dinosaur from DNA so he can set it free in a Jurassic Park-style area at his new Palmer Resort in Coolum.


Crocodile Dundee say what? Who does this down under brother think he is? Dinosaurs are my schtick, and mine alone. You can’t go around talking about cloning dinosaurs, I trademarked the whole idea and will now be suing this billionaire into the stone age (pun intended). This guy has a lot of balls thinking he can just ride into the dinocloning business without the years of footwork I’ve put in? Who was drawing crayon pictures of a dinosaur DNA transmonogrammer back in the 70s? THIS GUY RIGHT HERE. So Clive Palmer needs to take his attention mongering else where, because dinosaurs are all mine.

Anyways, how much is a billion Australian dollars worth in US Currency? 50 bucks right? Dude doesn’t have the capital to get this thing started, and even if he does how is he going to handle the Illuminati? I bet he didn’t think that through. We’ll see who’s laughing when Nazi shocktroopers come storming through his doors trying to assassinate him for flaunting his dinosaur plans around. I know it won’t be him, because he’ll be dead. Clive probably doesn’t even know about Wikipedia’s plot to destroy all dinosaur cloners. What a sap.

The One and Only DinoCloner,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:01 pm

Guest Post II (Reposted)
by Christopher Recouvreur
August 5, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/08/05/g ... -reposted/

ALL OF YOU LITTLE MONSTERS ARE WORSE THAN RUPERT MURDOCK. (And don’t say I got that from Lady Gaga. I was Lady Gaga before Madonna was Lady Gaga. She stole that from me.) If Ralph Nader was here, he’d punch your lights out, and then put you in jail forever.

@VIAANGUS I Know you’re out there, Viaangus. That’s a centurion name if I ever heard one, and the Illuminati is from Rome. HUH, CURIOUS.

@Ken You’re not even an Asian child, and that probably makes you a rapist, most likely. Clearly that is a picture of a child you abducted in order to train into another Illuminati member by making him read Al Capp cartoons. You work in a Law Firm that represents people in legal difficulties (AKA CRIMINALS AND OR HATE-CRIMERS.) Also, I don’t find you to my sexual liking, and that’s presumably important to the argument for some reason. But your pole will not come near this hole. Just know that you could have had me, and you ruined it.

@MarcRenandStimpyDazza You suggested Charles should hit me and sell my body, and worse you stopped sending us a Christmas Card. We white out all our Christmas Cards and then resell them in packs on E-Bay. Now we only have a pack of 11, and who’s going to want that? In conclusion, you’re a misogynist and probably work for the Disney Company.

@Matthew Inman You think you’re just so clever and handsome, don’t you? So deliciously, naughtily adorable, with your Dennis from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia face and your little pile of money that could buy so many domain names… Just alpha-maleing around the Internet with so many friends and making so much money… Just using that tight little bottom to seduce all the girls into following you to Budhist hell… so decadent… like the forbidden fruit of the Internet just waiting for an older woman to teach you the ways of love… What was I writing about now?

In conclusion you are all guilty of crimes against the people’s library, and I sentence you all to $500 pain and suffering. Please
remit directly to Charles’ email address, because Kickstarter refuses to host “Fund my life” projects no matter how many times I try to tell them that my forum is a digital library.

Yours in Christ,
Satirical Tara Carreon
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