Altruistic World Online Library

SMISH, SMIDS, and Smurfs.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 27, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/27/s ... nd-smurfs/



Social Media Induced Self Hate (SMISH) and Social Media Induced Delusional Syndrome (SMIDS) are two undiagnosed, non-researched, unproven, and unpopular diseases much like a Smurf infestation. We all know Smurfs and cats don’t get along, but what the Illuminati Media won’t tell you is that Smurfs hate cats because their genetic markers can help in cloning freedom dinosaurs. This is a very real triad of problems facing our world today and we must take a stand against SMISH, SMIDS, and Smurfs.

So I was reading the Red Book by Carl Jung with Tara before her bedtime and came up with these terms. Here is a brief summary:

Many SMISH-sufferers alternate between SMISH and SMIDS on an occasional basis, joining occasionally with Social Media Mobs to hurl Cybercurses at various ObHats, thereby demonstrating their loyalty to dominant SMPeers, and ensuring themselves against becoming an ObHat themselves.

I have no idea what I said there, but it sounds smart right? See psychology isn’t so hard. 10 minutes of reading every night and 3 google searches and you can be a specialist in anything. You don’t need scientist telling you that the sky in blue because of some sort of refraction of light off the ocean, if that was true on land the sky would be brown or green. Stupid Illuminati lies. You don’t need teachers to teach you, you can read books and go to Nader Library for all your information. Or you can use the real truth, the one that speaks to you in your head at night and tells you the secrets of the universe. This is why I feel I am particularly well suited to give mental health advice, because the voices in my head tell me what crazy is. I know crazy on an intimate level because I am connected to the universe through my mind.

See you can’t let social normalities get in the way of your goals or pursuit of truth. This is just like the time I used my employer’s laptop for personal emails and tried to keep it. Never let the Illuminati keep you down. Never.

Psychologist,

Charles Carreon Esq.

All charity is scam. AKA Relinquish your money to I.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 28, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/28/a ... oney-to-i/



2 gazillion dollars a year is misappropriated by charities. All charities are evil. If you need to give your money away, do it the American way, invest it. Right now I am accepting all levels of investments in my next level of DinoCloning(TM) the amazing… Raccoonosaurus Rex. After the success of the Kittenosaurus Rex I’ve had investors lined up around the block, but now through my secret blog (the one you are reading now) I can accept your investments immediately. Just be a pal and leave your full name, SNN, bank account number, bank routing number, date of birth, place of birth, and mother’s maiden name in my comment section with an investment amount. Remember, don’t donate, dinoate.

Charitable Investment Manager,

Charles Carreon Esq.

Guest Blog!
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 30, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/07/30/guest-blog/



http://rapeutation.com/2012/07/28/charity-fraud/

Sometimes I hate Wikipedia, but sometimes it’s my go to source for information! You might think that’s weird but it’s not, it’s like the way David Winn Miller uses the courts for evil, instead of the way Charles uses them (for money justice.) Want to know more about David Winn Miller? Go to Wikipedia!

Except don’t go for the article about my husband, or my library’s legal troubles. Wikipedia is not a legitimate source, and it run by the Illuminati Nihilists at the Facebooks, probably. ZUCKERBERG, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO HIDE!?

For example look at the article for Ken’s hate-blog Popehat.com (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Popehat). As you can see, it doesn’t have ANYTHING AT ALL about him trying to destroy us. It doesn’t even talk about his lawyering.

So yeah, Wikipedia is pretty much a nonsource (Nonsense?) and you never really want to refer to it, except when you do because it IS the encyclopedia of the people and not the lame stream media. And if you’re not sure if a source is good or not, ask a librarian!

Consistently,

Satirical Tara Carreon

The People Rise Up!
by Christopher Recouvreur
August 1, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/08/01/t ... e-rise-up/

We live in one of the poorest neighborhoods in Tucson out of solidarity to our poor brothers and sisters (we bought our house for $170,000), and we own one Prius. We’re not by any means rich. We get by month to month like the rest of you. We hardly ever go out to eat, because it’s a waste of money. The only thing we ever buy is books and movies. We don’t go on vacations. Our biggest monthly bill is our water bill, because we do splurge on watering our little forest. The first thing we did was have a backhoe come out and dig about 25 huge holes in our yard, and plant trees.

We are common man, people’s people, dirt under our finger nails, working in the sun type of people. I mean, well… we hate the sun, hence the trees. You have to have trees, lots of trees, because they stop you from getting sun burned! Just what every average poor American does. Buy a house, hire someone to dig 25 huge holes, drive a Prius around.

Everyone knows that to show solidarity with the unwashed masses, you buy a house that people who make minimum wage can’t afford. When most poor people are forced to throw away what little money they have on rent, it really shows them what a people’s person I am to move into their neighborhood and own my house. It’s like setting a good example for them. I like to go around saying “Hi, I know you work a menial job for less than optimal wages, but look you can own your own home too. Just become a lawyer like me. Super easy.”

Everyone knows poor people need to save money. That’s why I drive a Prius. You know how much I save on gas? If only more poor people bought Priuses instead of used cars that got horrible gas mileage, they’d be rich! So stop spending a couple thousand dollars on cheap old cars and invest in your future. Anyone can make car payments of $500 a month. Get some common sense poor people.

I am a man of the people, a successful lawyer, with many clients, who just wants to show the unwashed masses how to live a good life. Is that so wrong? Soon I will buy an island so the poor people and I can live in peace and do genetic experiments to create dinosaurs.

Role Model,

Charles Carreon Esq.

Down Under.
by Christopher Recouvreur
August 3, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/08/03/down-under/

The controversial billionaire is rumoured to be planning to clone a dinosaur from DNA so he can set it free in a Jurassic Park-style area at his new Palmer Resort in Coolum.

Crocodile Dundee say what? Who does this down under brother think he is? Dinosaurs are my schtick, and mine alone. You can’t go around talking about cloning dinosaurs, I trademarked the whole idea and will now be suing this billionaire into the stone age (pun intended). This guy has a lot of balls thinking he can just ride into the dinocloning business without the years of footwork I’ve put in? Who was drawing crayon pictures of a dinosaur DNA transmonogrammer back in the 70s? THIS GUY RIGHT HERE. So Clive Palmer needs to take his attention mongering else where, because dinosaurs are all mine.

Anyways, how much is a billion Australian dollars worth in US Currency? 50 bucks right? Dude doesn’t have the capital to get this thing started, and even if he does how is he going to handle the Illuminati? I bet he didn’t think that through. We’ll see who’s laughing when Nazi shocktroopers come storming through his doors trying to assassinate him for flaunting his dinosaur plans around. I know it won’t be him, because he’ll be dead. Clive probably doesn’t even know about Wikipedia’s plot to destroy all dinosaur cloners. What a sap.

The One and Only DinoCloner,

Charles Carreon Esq.

Guest Post II (Reposted)
by Christopher Recouvreur
August 5, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/08/05/g ... -reposted/

ALL OF YOU LITTLE MONSTERS ARE WORSE THAN RUPERT MURDOCK. (And don’t say I got that from Lady Gaga. I was Lady Gaga before Madonna was Lady Gaga. She stole that from me.) If Ralph Nader was here, he’d punch your lights out, and then put you in jail forever.

@VIAANGUS I Know you’re out there, Viaangus. That’s a centurion name if I ever heard one, and the Illuminati is from Rome. HUH, CURIOUS.

@Ken You’re not even an Asian child, and that probably makes you a rapist, most likely. Clearly that is a picture of a child you abducted in order to train into another Illuminati member by making him read Al Capp cartoons. You work in a Law Firm that represents people in legal difficulties (AKA CRIMINALS AND OR HATE-CRIMERS.) Also, I don’t find you to my sexual liking, and that’s presumably important to the argument for some reason. But your pole will not come near this hole. Just know that you could have had me, and you ruined it.

@MarcRenandStimpyDazza You suggested Charles should hit me and sell my body, and worse you stopped sending us a Christmas Card. We white out all our Christmas Cards and then resell them in packs on E-Bay. Now we only have a pack of 11, and who’s going to want that? In conclusion, you’re a misogynist and probably work for the Disney Company.

@Matthew Inman You think you’re just so clever and handsome, don’t you? So deliciously, naughtily adorable, with your Dennis from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia face and your little pile of money that could buy so many domain names… Just alpha-maleing around the Internet with so many friends and making so much money… Just using that tight little bottom to seduce all the girls into following you to Budhist hell… so decadent… like the forbidden fruit of the Internet just waiting for an older woman to teach you the ways of love… What was I writing about now?

In conclusion you are all guilty of crimes against the people’s library, and I sentence you all to $500 pain and suffering. Please
remit directly to Charles’ email address, because Kickstarter refuses to host “Fund my life” projects no matter how many times I try to tell them that my forum is a digital library.

Yours in Christ,
Satirical Tara Carreon

Ken the lawyer.
by Christopher Recouvreur
August 9, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/08/09/ken-the-lawyer/



Ken White at popehat.com wants you to believe he is some sort of First Amendment advocate, but I know the real truth about him. He’s really a genetic clone created by Ruth Handler and Mattel to indoctrinate poor internet users into his hate group the Discordian Popes. This guy and his Matthew Inman apologist brainwashed followers will stop at nothing to prevent me from obtaining living Tyrannosaurus Rexes. It’s shameful to think of what lengths he’ll go to in attempt of achieving his goal.

I bet he had something to do with Jared Lee Loughner pleading guilty rather than insane. Ken probably called in his goon squad to scare the poor guy’s lawyer into that abhorrent plea bargain. The Illuminati have no shame, they control our corrupted government and feed our children lies. There is no truth in this world, but the truth of my word upon the hallowed internet. My doctrine of dinosaurs is the path of true salvation and life affirmation. The proof is right in front of you. Why else would Ken White try to discredit me in his blogs calling my legal tactics censorious, unethical, and possible dim witted? Because he is trying to lead you down to hell.

Just remember these few things:

1.Dinosaurs are good.
2.Ken White is bad.
3.Discordian Popes are a hate group.
4.Sometimes fast food ads lie.
Spiritually,

Charles Carreon Esq.

I am running for President.
by Christopher Recouvreur
August 18, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/08/18/i ... president/



After reviewing the qualifications and positions of both Barrack Obama and Mitt Romney, I have decided the only logical choice for president is myself. It’s really about the issues which I don’t think either candidate are addressing. It’s about the plight of the common man, not of billionaires and liberals living off of the system. It’s about people who don’t have giant reptiles and need to fight off shadowy underworld organizations. Here is my plan to restore America to it’s greatness.

1.Clone ultimate battle dinosaurs.

2.Crush the Nazi Illuminati conspiracy.

3.Repeal constitutional amendments 1, 4, 10, 16.

4.Make trademark infringement criminally punishable with the death sentence.

5.Shut down the internet.

Awaiting your vote,

Charles Carreon Esq.

Travis Tygart and Kickball
by Christopher Recouvreur
August 24, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/08/24/t ... -kickball/



If there is one thing I know, it’s the pain of being picked last for kickball every single time. When the girl with one leg shorter than the other gets picked before you, it stings. I believe Travis Tygart knows my pain. Why else would he spend so much time trying to prove one of the greatest examples of human fortitude was a cheat? He’s that evil little kid on Disney shows that finds anyway to sully the protagonist’s reputation. He is also on an immense power trip that only I can truly appreciate, he’s gone full USADA Carreon. His perfection of douchebaggery is so almost perfect it makes me want to cry. What could make it actually perfect? Easy. Dinosaurs. He never once demanded dinosaurs from Lance Armstrong, or even schematics for a cloning device.

You always demand dinosaurs. It’s just good evil villain etiquette to demand extravagant things. I mean you might consider Travis demanding that Lance continue to defend himself even after federal investigators gave up on the case, even after he had passed every blood test given to him, even after proving previous allegations were false, as an extravagant demand… but it just doesn’t have the same ring as Tyrannosaurus Rex. This one oversight excluded, I am humbled by Mr. Tygart’s douchery and give hommage to his complete assholism.

In Awe,

Charles Carreon Esq.

Matthew Inman has raised 1 million dollars.
by Christopher Recouvreur
August 30, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/08/30/m ... n-dollars/



I now sit here, pondering if dinosaurs sleep standing up and if they dream, and how to best pillage the money Mr. Inman has raised for my dinocloning laboratory. I would also need a good gag order from a court so that Oatmeal guy wouldn’t go blabbing to the internet about how I was try to steal from his “charity.” His internet gang are a ferocious horde or free speakers who will not be silenced no matter how much I threaten them with T-Rex destruction, I hate them, so I must silence their master before he calls upon them. It’s like what they did with my book on Amazon.com. Even my Tara can see the truth.

For example, Matt Inman’s people made thousands of bad reviews about Charles’ book, “The Sex.Com Chronicles,” on Amazon. Obviously, a thousand people didn’t read the book,

See, all those fake reviews. She says it plainly, obviously a thousand people didn’t read my book… wait… what?! What does she mean obviously a thousand people didn’t read my book? It was a good book! People read it… I mean… I even gave it away for free… so someone had to read it right? This is quite troubling… what does it mean when thousands of people read a crude artist like Inman but not a single person will read my free book? It must be a conspiracy, it just must be.

Saddened,

Charles Carreon Esq.