charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

[admin]

Matthew Inman has raised 1 million dollars.
by Christopher Recouvreur
August 30, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/08/30/m ... n-dollars/



I now sit here, pondering if dinosaurs sleep standing up and if they dream, and how to best pillage the money Mr. Inman has raised for my dinocloning laboratory. I would also need a good gag order from a court so that Oatmeal guy wouldn’t go blabbing to the internet about how I was try to steal from his “charity.” His internet gang are a ferocious horde or free speakers who will not be silenced no matter how much I threaten them with T-Rex destruction, I hate them, so I must silence their master before he calls upon them. It’s like what they did with my book on Amazon.com. Even my Tara can see the truth.

For example, Matt Inman’s people made thousands of bad reviews about Charles’ book, “The Sex.Com Chronicles,” on Amazon. Obviously, a thousand people didn’t read the book,

See, all those fake reviews. She says it plainly, obviously a thousand people didn’t read my book… wait… what?! What does she mean obviously a thousand people didn’t read my book? It was a good book! People read it… I mean… I even gave it away for free… so someone had to read it right? This is quite troubling… what does it mean when thousands of people read a crude artist like Inman but not a single person will read my free book? It must be a conspiracy, it just must be.

Saddened,

Charles Carreon Esq.

[admin]

Nazi Fighting Dinosaurs
by Christopher Recouvreur
September 4, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/09/04/n ... dinosaurs/



This is why I need a Tyrannosaurus Rex. What are you going to fight a horde of Oatmeal loving Nazis with? A COMMANDO DINOSAUR THAT’S WHAT! See, I can now prove without a doubt that dinocloning is possible. If the United States did it back in the 1930′s why can’t it be done now? There is no reason, other than the Illuminati convincing us it isn’t possible. See the Illuminati know that dinosaurs could tilt the balance of power away from them, and they refuse to let that happen. More specifically, Matthew Inman and Kenneth White refuse to let that happen. This is a battle for the future, the present, and the past. A battle which we cannot lose and direly need dinosaurs to help us win.

The proof is right there in front of you. Dinosaurs have been successfully cloned and weaponized since World War II. It’s possible, it’s practical, and any sane person will tell you, a gun toting T-Rex is an awesome idea.

Hyped,

Charles Carreon Esq.

[admin]

This is how I thug.
by Christopher Recouveur
September 6, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/09/06/t ... ow-i-thug/



This is how I thug(full text). Once my detractors don’t waffle after being threatened with six figure sums, and they show the annoying tenacity to continue to mock me and bring out unethical behaviors of my past, I like to go after their employment. One of the best douchebag moves, the most censoriously brilliant play, is to try and get your critics fired. It’s right up there with going after their uninvolved family members and photoshopping dicks on their faces. Everyone uses their work computer for personal tasks, just like me. Hence it’s really easy to get people fired that way.

Even if they don’t back down after being fired, hopefully they’ll go broke and lose the ability to pay for their internet or their defense. Either way I win. If they aren’t fired they still know that if they continue criticizing me, I’ll try to hurt them in any way possible, which also chills their speech. It’s all a direct ladder of thuggery:

1.Be thuggish douchebag censor on the internet.

2.Anonymous people criticize you on websites.

3.Threaten anonymous person with big cash judgements.

4.Threaten anonymous person’s webhost for their identity.

5.Use their identity to try to shame them.

6.Use their identity to find out their employer and harass them.

Brilliant yes?

Super Thug,

Charles Carreon Esq.

[admin]

My letter to my new guest post author!
by Christopher Recouvreur
September 12, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/09/12/m ... st-author/

Hello,

I do like the idea of guest uposting on my blog as I have many readers who request more frequent and varied posts but not enough time to keep up some days. My blog mainly deals with travel, legal commentary, and cloning. I was would definitely like to expand my topics and was wondering if someone could help write a guest post about luggage for the BSDM enthusiast, midget, dinosaur cloning researcher? This is a topic that greatly interests me and my readers and would add much to my blog. Unfortunately though I write about dinosaur cloning and luggage extensively, I do not know much about BSDM or midgets. If you could recommend a luggage brand based on that outline and maybe even fine pictures of midgets doing BSDM in lab coats, I’d appreciate it.

Sincerely,
Charles Carreon Esq.

On Sep 12, 2012, at 10:08 AM, Webmaster <links@sachsmarketinggroup.com> wrote:

Hello,

I recently came across your website and I wanted to reach out to you because I admin a couple of similar websites with a primary focus on travel,
luggage, etc…

I was wondering if you might be interested in linking to our website. I think the similarity in our sites would complement each other nicely.

If you would be kind enough to link to our site(s), I would be more than happy to return the favor in some form. I have numerous contacts and tons of other sites (PR 1-4).

I would be interested in a 3-way link exchange relationship with you. Our site is here:

http://www.specialtyluggage.com/links.aspx

We also have several content writers constantly creating updated content. We would be interested in a guest post relationship as well. If that would be something you were interested in let us know.

Thank you very much. I hope to have the opportunity to build a relationship!

Sincerely,
Jordan Scardino
805.494.3232

[admin]

What if they have a T-Rex?
by Christopher Recouvreur
September 17, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/09/17/w ... e-a-t-rex/



I though of something entirely terrifying tonight. What if my enemies already have a Tyrannosaurus Rex? What if it’s been some kind of cat and mouse game, but the whole time it was them just toying with me as a cat would do? That would mean that no matter what I do, they’ve already won…

Am I crazy? Could I just be paranoid? Only if it’s crazy to assume all my detractors are Nazi Illuminati Conspirators, and we all know that’s perfectly sane. Could a paranoid person come up with a website called rapeutation.com that outlined an internet wide conspiracy to drag my name through the dirt? No, of course not. I’m sane. I really am. What’s insane is people trying to tell me to man up an accept I’m not some victim, just a narcissistic asshole.

Well Adjusted,

Charles Carreon Esq.

[admin]

Bow Before My Lawness.
by Christopher Recouvreur
September 27, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/09/27/544/



You are telling me these plaques aren’t the sexiest pieces of lawyer swag ever? I do not believe you. I own 1 for each year I’ve been part of the Bar. I tried to have custom T-Rex ones made, but the company said they had too many wolf ones left from some run 30 years ago to begin a new run. Which is probably why Ken at Popehat doesn’t want you to order these beauties, so I never get my T-Rex knives. He will do anything to make my life a living hell.

I made an info graph out of crayon and papyrus to show how evil Ken really is, however… it was hot yesterday and I left it in the car. It melted. Every corner I turn, every thing I hold special, Ken is there to spoil it, to tarnish it, or to make it look outright ridiculous. This cannot and will not stand. I shall draw more digital images of him as a swine. That’ll teach him and firmly reclaim the moral high ground for me. WHO’S LAUGHING NOW BACON BOY?!

Classy,

Charles Carreon Esq.

[admin]

Does Anyone Have An Airplane?
by Christopoher Recouvreur
October 19, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/10/19/d ... -airplane/



It’s been weeks since we left our house. The conditions have become squalid and unbearable. I haven’t had a latte in forever and feel like the world is coming to an end. Why won’t these Illuminati leave me be? Every door knock, telephone ring, and stranger on the street could be an agent of my nemesis, the Oatmeal. We are running low on supplies, we’ve been subsisting off of saltine crackers and ketchup for 3 days now, and I am tired of using supermarket ads for toilet paper. Our television broke a week ago too, so I’ve been flipping through my only entertainment, a binder full of women.

Please if any Dinosaur sympathizers are out there with an airplane, please airdrop us supplies! With your help my dinocloning device made out of mucus and uncooked macaroni can continue being built. Together with your airplane, toilet paper, food, and my brains, we’d be unstoppable! Together we can stop all these people with silly names, like oatmeal, popehat, and Barack Obama.

Help!

Charles Carreon Esq.

[admin]

TO: Craig Brittain RE: I hate Ken Popehat too!
by Christopher Recouvreur
November 1, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/11/01/t ... pehat-too/



Dear Craig Brittain,

If you have read my arch nemesis’ blog popehat.com, you should know how much hassle he has caused for me. It is because of this, and his now continual harassment of you, that I say we should sue him for mental distress on your part. I also say we go after that law quoting neophyte Adam Steinbaugh for trying to make you look like a fool. These two legal harpies must, and will be taught a lesson.We can even stick it to Marc Randazza for taking me off his Christmas Card list… or for threatening you… that’s a better legal strategy probably.Here is how:

1. I will draft a letter to all parties envolved stating that they have caused you emotional stress.

2. I will demand $20,000 and that their domains now point to your illustrious website.

3. I will use half of the $20,000 to clone a T-Rex.

4. The T-Rex will eat Ken Popehat, Adam Steinbaugh, and Marc Randazza

5. Crystal Cox will send you a thank you card.

6. I will take the other half of the $20,000 and set up a Charitable Trust for you.

All I require is an advancement of one DNA sample from an amber mosquito and a site rip of all your currently hosted pictures… for research.

Sincerely,

Charles Carreon Esq.

[admin]

Guest Post “United Against Ken Popehat”
by Christopher Recouvreur
November 3, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/11/03/g ... n-popehat/

Dear Mr Carreon

My name is David Blade, I am the Takedown Hammer. I have an…lets say, arrangement, with Is Anybody Down. See, I help people whose pictures and information end up on the sight get it down, for a small fee. I’m friends with the admins so its easy for me to get things done. But recently those meddling kids over at Popehat and LegalSatyricon are creating a whole heap of trouble for me. I think a defamation suit is in order, and being that this is out of my area of expertise, I happily accept you offer for help.

Your plan of action is reasonable. My only request is that along with the money, you demand Zombie Kittens…I need them for a side project that you and your dinosaurs will probably be interested in. I also want your wife Tara to get busy on more MS Paint pictures of these people who dare accuse me of such terrible things (I mean, I only run a revenge porn sight…I mean I KNOW someone who runs one, yeah. Its not like I’m a dirty lowlife or anything), I need them to decorate my new website because right now it looks too much like that lawyer wannbe Adam Steinbaugh’s page.

I have put out a bounty program to get your DNA laden amber and will be sending my the archives of the website over soon.

I look forward to working with you

Craig…I mean David, yeah

David Blade, III

[admin]

Ghastly Enemies At The Gate
by Christopher Recouvreur
November 27, 2012
http://charles-carreon.com/2012/11/27/g ... -the-gate/



It’s about time. It took my Illuminati advasaries nearly 5 months to track me down. What sort of secret society are they anyways? I am starting to think that their all powerful manipulation is a weapon that they wield inefficiently.

Apparently my new invention the DinoBrain™ is working well. What is DinoBrain™? I take the finest alloy metal that has been pressed and rolled into sheets (aluminum foil) and form it into a bowl shape. I then insert powdered dinosaur (alligator) bone and Hunts™ ketchup into the bowl and mix it into a paste. I tried using Heinz™ ketchup, but the Illuminati can see right through that stuff. Then I take additional rare alloy sheet metal and form a insular dome over the original dome and press the whole apparatus over my head to mold it to it’s shape. I then bake the mold for 6 hours at 275 degrees in order to set it and make it impregnable to Illuminati mind location devices.

It’s easily apparent that Cathy Gellis, or as the Illuminati call her Magister Exploratores, only located me as I had to take off my DinoBrain™ to pass through metal detectors at a court house. You see the Illuminati make sure that there are metal detectors every where, especially where you travel. Why? So that you’d have to take off your mind blocking helmets if you are to change locations, therefor they can track you always. She says in her filing:

On November 15, 2012, I personally served defendant the Summons and Amended Complaint in this case on defendant Charles Carreon. After Mr. Carreon told my co-counsel, Mr. Levy, that he was unwilling to expose himself to service (a copy of his email is attached as Exhibit A), I verified that he was scheduled to present oral argument on November 15 in a case pending before Judge Chen. I went to Judge Chen’s courtroom in the Federal Building, 450 Golden Gate Avenue, San Francisco, California. At 10:15 Mr. Carreon’s matter was called, and he identified himself to the court. At 10:50 his hearing concluded. I waited in the hall for Mr. Carreon to leave the courtroom, which he did by 10:55. When he did, I addressed him by name and said I had a summons and complaint for him. He extended his arm and took them. Service thus complete, I left the courthouse.

What she didn’t mention is how she appeared out of thin air like some sort of ghastly wraith and brought me to my knees with her Illuminati mind powers. She says I extended my arm to take the papers from her, but that is completely false. I extended my arm to shield my face from her piercing gaze that stuck me into my soul. I tell you these Illuminati are completely evil. No decent person would stand up for some no-name blogger who was at odds with a powerful lawyer like me. Real lawyers stick together, they do not argue cases for other people.

My psychic wounds are slowly healing now, as I regain my strength I will begin to hatch a plot to undo my tormentors. I have new allies too, like David Blade III and the clone of Herbert Hoover. Together we will breed a legion of dinosaurs to wreak havoc and let loose the dogs of war!

Beaten but not beat,

Charles Carreon Esq.