charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:07 pm

Dietz Economics 102B
by Christopher Recouvreur
January 9, 2013
http://charles-carreon.com/2013/01/09/d ... mics-102b/

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http://rapeutation.com/perezexhibits13.pdf

Every time I think I can’t be more impressed with Christopher Dietz of Dietz Development LLC, I find myself incorrect. When reviewing that dastardly Jane Perez’s “evidence” against the honorable Dietz, I found these documents adding an additional wrinkle to his deviously splendid plan!

What brilliant strategy, cunning business sense, and diabolical genius. Dietz according to complaints against him, takes contracts then does little to no work and bills people for extra unperformed services (sheer brilliance!), then according to this documents I unearthed, he doesn’t even pay his employees! That’s right, he takes your money, doesn’t spend anything on materials, and then keeps all the money for himself! Dietz is truly a high priest of the Capitalist Buddha.

A man with such ability and skill at being a vexatious twat-waffle will be a worthy opponent to defeat the likes of Paul Alan Levy and his Illuminati brethren at Public Citizen and the ACLU. I could not ask for a better champion to reclaim my honor be default fact that I support him morally! Yes, I have been forced to capitulate to the Illuminati conspiracy, but now the Dietz cometh to smite the Illuminati unto the bowls of netherworld.

Today we lay waste to the first amendment rights of all netizens so that tomorrow we can cement a future where no matter what a business person does (or doesn’t) do to/for them, they will never be able to speak out in an open forum without dire legal consequences. This isn’t about Jane Perez, it’s about every dirty little peasant who complained about a $6 sandwich at some shop because it wasn’t hot enough, or there was mold on the bread. For fucks sake, you are paying $6 and you want quality control? Get a real job, like a lawyer, and be able to afford a real meal.

This country and her citizens have gotten completely out of hand. You can’t just complain about anything you want online. You can’t claim even with filing a police report that you think someone stole from you. Next time buy a goddamn safety deposit box like a real person with a job would do. Or a massive underground safe like a good Bond villain would do. Do something other than tattle on a poor contractor. Just because Dietz doesn’t pay his employees doesn’t mean they might have taken property to feed their families. It means they must be frugal with what money they have. This whole Jane Perez and Yelp affair is sickening.

The Silencer,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:07 pm

I need more time!
by Christopher Recouvreur
January 20, 2013
http://charles-carreon.com/2013/01/20/i-need-more-time/

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This is not a delay tactic to impose further unnecessary burdens upon the plaintiff and his counsel. It is quite simple, if I don’t get an extension of 4 months I won’t be able to complete my DinoCloner™ in time to storm California and redact my defeat. I am so close, so very close. Who would have thought that it was a simple matter of using copper wiring instead of uncooked spaghetti and blue crayon instead of red? I know this will work. Mr. Recouvreur will rue the day he said I was a censorious douchebag.

Imagine the scene as Tyrannosaurus Rex storms the court house shrieking in rage, blood boiling with murder, and teeth gnashing in berserk delight. It will be a glorious day as my dinosaur legion shreds through the very halls of justice that did me injustice. The blitz of dinosaur destruction. The melee of a truly Jurassic proportion. It will be blissful to obtain my revenge and I only need 4 months to make it happen. The Illuminati will flee my mighty dinosaur and I shall rid us all of the Nazi computer zombie horde.

Also for those of you following along on my DinoCloner™, make sure to wash your hands and wear gloves before touching any DNA samples. I accidentally spoiled a sample and all I cloned was a mutated midget version of myself. The little bastard ate all my cookies and now won’t come out of the dryer. He also bit my hand something fierce.

So close,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:07 pm

Ascension.
by Christopher Recouveur
March 7, 2013
http://charles-carreon.com/2013/03/07/ascension/

Today I fly a mighty pterodactyl to Washington D.C. and tomorrow the Illuminati will be smote.

-CC

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:07 pm

You can’t turn shields into swords!
by Christopher Recouvreur
March 21, 2013
http://charles-carreon.com/2013/03/21/y ... to-swords/

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You just can’t. This is especially true of leather shields, wood shields, and shields made of non-corporeal things like the First Amendment. To turn a First Amendment shield into a Lanham Act sword you would need a 17 sided die, 3 cloves of garlic, the great rune of Dinosaur, purified animus and 3 gallons of swine blood. No mere federal judge can anoint some gripe site owner a sword so powerful that any trademark holder must cower in their worthlessness!

These pesky Illuminatus have pissed in my well once too many times! I am sick and tired of being pushed around and made to drink water that taste oddly tart. While we are talking about the Illuminati, have I ever told you about their lawyer hating brethern? Libertarians. The first time I met a Libertarian, I thought they said “librarian” and asked about the Dewey Decimal System, needless to say that Libertarian wasn’t very fond of this lawyer! Libertarians have no sense of humor either.

Back to the whole sword thing, you just don’t tell trademark owners that they can’t make vexatious and baseless legal threats without any real punishment. Such attitudes are an affront to the entire American legal system. If people like this gripe site owner are let loose on the world, no trademark will be worth spit because they’ll just run around preemptively suing Disney and Taco Bell! “Whoa dude I hate Taco Bell, man now I have to sue them to protect my rights and stuff, cause like I said I hated them or something!” (Note my unwashed masses speak is a bit rusty) People will be able to go around and not fear the righteous anger of the trademark holders, people will speak freely about trademark holders, and this will deprive trademark holders and vexatious lawyers from exercising their own First Amendment rights!

This is the downfall of America people, when your daughter comes home impregnated by some hipster with a lip piercing and your dog runs away, remember this very moment. When Disney has to cancel the next Little Mermaid on ice performance because it has to pay some lump because that lump sued them for no reason, remember this moment. For if I lay banished by some Lanham Act sword, so may your favorite animated movie studio or taco dispensary.

Tragically,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:08 pm

Litigation Playwriting
by Christopher Recouvreur
March 22, 2013
http://charles-carreon.com/2013/03/22/l ... aywriting/

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The “Lawyer” shall now explain why I chose the titles I used in my response to the “Gripesite Operator” motion for attorney fees. I wrote my motion as a play, a theatrical work, in order of course to impress Judge Seeborg with my creative flair. See, I always wanted to be a writer. Hence my many highly regarded ebooks available online. I am a man of passionate creativity and a romanticist; I cannot help that my legalese came out as poetic prose really.

A few questions asked of me:

Q – Why use “Gripesite Operator” which is 18 characters long rather than Plaintiff which is half as long at 9 characters in length?

A – It’s a blatant attempt to bias readers against the evil Illuminati Libertarian Popehat pawn.

Q – Why use the title the “Lawyer” rather than your last name when multiple lawyers are envolved in the litigation? Isn’t it confusing?

A – I am the only real lawyer envolved in the litigation. I also refuse to acknowledge one of the Gripesite Operator’s counsels.

Q – Isn’t it “Gripe site” not “Gripesite?”

A – Your correction of my misspelling is infringing upon my First Amendment rights, as such I shall exercise my First Amendment right to vexatiously threaten you with lawsuits.


Now that I have answered your pathetically dull questions, I must go and buy myself some more glue. Throwing theories at a judge hoping that one will stick requires a ton of Elmer’s. Don’t tell anyone, but I think someone in the house has been eating a bunch as well…

Practically Shakespeare,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:08 pm

Zounds! I am undone!
by Christopher Recouvreur
April, 2013
http://charles-carreon.com/2013/04/12/z ... am-undone/

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$45,100.25… the Illuminati judge couldn’t even spot me the quarter. Do you know how many late payments on a Prius I could make with that sort of money? Well the joke is on the litigation conspirators, I already spent all my money on Coprolite. The best part is that I am going to write it off on my taxes as a small business expense. So unless they want payment in the form of dinosaur shit, they are shit out of luck.

The joke is also on Judge Seeborg who said, “Then, in response to this motion for attorney fees under the Lanham Act, defendant engaged in unnecessary, vexatious, and costly tactics in preparation of his opposition to the motion,” because I don’t understand what he said here anyways. How was I vexatious? I was fighting off the evil Illuminati conspiracy and when you engage in such warfare there is no quarter.

I must now find safe haven away from these tyrannical people, they have bested me repeatedly by using my only oversight against me. I would have won in a fair fight, but I was naive to assume that the system hadn’t already been overrun, corrupted and perverted by the Illuminati. You see my friends, I never stood a chance, because they planned this all out. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that Paul Levy or Ken White were in fact the admin of FunnyJunk. You see, as one of the last free thinking people of the United States, the Illuminati needed to publicly disgrace me. They laid out their trap and I stepped into it, like dog shit in tall grass.

Wiping it off my feet,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:08 pm

Fluoride.
by Christopher Recouvreur
April 22, 2013
http://charles-carreon.com/2013/04/22/fluoride/

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You know all those conspiracies that revolve around fluoride in your water? Well it’s true. I have proof too. One of the evil Popehat’s staunchest allies Adam Steinbaugh had once vexed me tirelessly, but now that I have learned the trick of fluoride mind control, also known as Cavity Oral Suggestion Technique (COST), he is fully under my control. To prove it, I submit these exhibits on the record:

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You see!?! My new minion already does my righteous bidding. He has procured me a fine T-Rex skeleton made from metal to produce my first ever, Robosaurus Rex!!!!! That massive metal frame along with these unsuspecting schmucks who created a cheap $45 robot controlling super computer, I will be invincible!

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So Popehat’s Legion of Haters better beware, I am coming for them and they should rightfully be afraid of torture. Hell hath no fury like a Carreon scorned. Soon I will be marching my army of Robosaurus Rex against the Illuminati. There is no stopping me now. The end nears for the dastardly cowards who oppose liberty. My first amendment right to threaten vexatious legal thuggery will be upheld!

Robotics Engineer,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:08 pm

Amy’s Baking Company
by Christopher Recouvreur
May 15, 2013
http://charles-carreon.com/2013/05/15/a ... g-company/

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You see that cretins? You are legally bound. Bound I say. Bound to not defame my (hopefully soon to be) clients Amy and Samy of Amy’s Baking Company. You are nobodies, even if you were once somebody, you are not any more. Like the hammer of Thor dropping down on some ice giant, Amy’s Baking Company is going to come down on you feeble internet hooligans.

You’re so dumb, for real. You left your facebook names all over their page. We are going to find you, so even if you hide your kids and hide your wife, we’ll find you. You will be liable for breach of contract which won’t be dissolvable by bankruptcy or even an act of God.

I’ve warned the internet so many times. You can’t just go around bad mouthing legitimate businesses and expect white-hat lawyers to sit idly by. For now the wrath of Carreon is upon all of you facebook users, yelpers, and especially the vile stench filled puss sack, reddit.

Fresh of the victorious filing of my notice to appeal the Illuminati financed blogger and his nazi conspirators, I am refreshed and will bring down great vexatious legal torment upon the detractors of Amy and Samy. You are done ruining everything like our facebook page and ice cream sundaes. I bet you’re infuriating constant internet commenting is contributing to global warming too.

We are not crazy like you,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:09 pm

I have more enemies than you have Facebook friends.
by Christopher Recouvreur
July 18, 2013
http://charles-carreon.com/2013/07/18/i ... k-friends/

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What now you soon to be dino-treats? I’ve found you all out, I know everything about you (at least what you put in your public social media bios) and I have some of your pictures! You will rue the day that you sullied my internet reputation, you and all the other poop eaters. You thought you could best me? I laugh at your photoshopped faces!

It’s too late to say you’re sorry, how should I know, why should I care? Please don’t bother trying to find me, I’m not here. Let me tell you about the way I photoshop, the way I clone dinosaurs, my rage is just and might, I’ve still got fight, I’m just not here…

Warrior Poet,

Charles Carreon Esq.
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Re: charles-carreon.com, by Christopher Recouvreur

Postby admin » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:09 pm

PART 1 OF 3

COMMENTS:

2 Comments (Today I conquer the internet)

1.
CGK
/ June 18, 2012
Although you really do not seem like a bad man from interviews I’ve read of you, just a man passionate with his craft as a lawyer, you have blown the situation slightly out of proportion. As have many people who have misunderstood the situation causing the internet lynch mob for you. Inman’s humor is questionable but is just humor nonetheless in his own form, he meant no dehumanization through his bestiality retort, although it was rude and mockery of the situation that you took seriously, not some evil plot to destroy the minds of mankind because lets face it, there are way way worse things out there. You did not originally plan to sue Matthew Inman, although many have assumed so wrongly. He did not send the giant storm of hatred towards you per se, but i believe he knew it was going to happen whether he did or not due to the large support for the oatmeal, although he never asked for it…although your client has in the past outright told its members to storm the oatmeal and do what you accuse him of. But instead of stepping back and handling the situation maturely you have slandered his name on your own website and insulted the cause that gave many people the reason to stand behind him, a bad move both have faults in this situation of what was supposed to be a case between Funnyjunk and the Oatmeal…this whole court case is pointless, a big waste of time and money, and a big dump on both of the respectable reputations you both have. I will be one to say I’m sorry for all the hatred you have received over the internet due to the misinformation and misunderstanding, although you wont get large support by resorting to insulting Inman outright when in thought to many of the observers of the situation he did nothing. But also in the mind of many, this is the internet where anything goes. My apologies if myself have upset you.
2.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 18, 2012
I wholly agree with everything you have said here. I appreciate you comments and just wanted to let you know that I am not the real Charles. This blog is a satire, however I do commend you for staying respectful of the man in question as I will not tolerate people using profanity or the likes.

4 Comments (Quick Update!)

1.
Evil Supergenius
/ June 20, 2012
Dear Charles, below is my “thirteen” step plan to take over the world and become as much like you and Brett Kimberlin as possible. Although I am an evil super genius lawyer I would like a fellow evil super genius lawyer to review my plan to ensure I will not end up on the wrong end of California’s anti-SLAPP statute or worse yet land in jail. I hate jail – there are no lime popsicles in jail. Thank you for your attention to this very important matter.
My 13 step plan:
1.) My ego-testicals which are the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. I will keep them in my safe-deposit box.
2.) I will not waste time paying attention to the finer points of the law – I’m not accountable to anyone.
3.) I will make it clear that I do know the meaning of the words “common sense”; I simply choose not to show any.
4.) When my enemy challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, “Or are you afraid without your wife to back you up?” my reply will be, “No, just sensible.”
5.) I will be secure in my superiority. And I will prove it by leaving clues in the form of obscure poems and photo shopped cartoons to show my weaker enemies they pose no threat.
6.) I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled “Danger: Do Not Push.” The big red button marked “Do Not Push” will instead trigger a spray of clown confettie on anyone stupid enough not to disregard it.
7.) One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
8.) I will never utter the sentence “But before I sue you, there’s just one thing I want to know.”
9.) Because of its proven stress-relieving effect, I will indulge in maniacal laughter and issuing of frivolous subpoenas. When so occupied, it’s too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
10.) I will not maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses because this takes too much of the fun out of the job.
11.) I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
12.) I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. I will sue everyone that injures my feelings.
13.) Once my power is secure, I will destroy The First Amendment in its entirety.
2.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 20, 2012
We should go to IndieGoGo to crowd source that business plan. Oh wait, I see $200,000 we can just take.
3.
Evil Supergenius
/ June 20, 2012
That’s a good start but I’m looking for more than $200,000. Maybe Kimberlin can kick in part of his $1.8M take at Velvet Revolution. Only downside is that I’d have to give him a cut of everything. Maybe I can give him my big red button marked “Do Not Push” except since it doesn’t actually blow anything up so I doubt he would be satisfied.
4.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 21, 2012
Well Kimberlin might be valuable in using as a proxy to get peace orders against any critics of ours. So with $200k plus the $1.8M we’d have a solid $2M dollars on hand. With that much cash we could probably cover filing fees on all complaints against detractors for a long time. If every person we try to censor also receives a settlement offer of $20k, then we should keep our operation going indefinitely even if only 5% of people settle.

1 Comment (New Client?)

1.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 19, 2012
If anyone knows the owners of Barre Cleveland I can definitely sue for defamation and trademark infringement.

2 Comments (Barre Cleveland vs The Dawg Dish)

1.
Dudeman
/ June 20, 2012
Carreonization as you have defined it is not an adjective, but a verb. However, the way you used it in the sentence before was as a noun.
Did you learn grammar where you went to law school?

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 20, 2012
Please email me your name and address so I can send you a Cease and Desist order for:
A) Trying to correct my grammar.
B) Using my trademark therefore violating the Lehman Act.
C) For launching a defamatory proxy attack against me for Matthew Inman
Thank You,
Charles Carreon Esq.

3 Comments (I will subpoena the Internet Now)

1.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 20, 2012
Also, I’ve noticed that my website doesn’t come up first in web results for my name. Maybe I should do what Matthew Inman did with FunnyJunk. That should work.
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Am I number 1 yet?
2.
Jackmof Goodnhard
/ June 20, 2012
FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon. Charles Carreon.

7 Comments (Class Action Suit)

1.
Witless Protection Program
/ June 20, 2012
Damn, Randy Quaid, you’ve lost some weight!
Hope you and Evi are well and happy with your new identities. The Star Whackers would never even look twice at “Charles” and “Tara” – good work.
2.
Santosh A Halper
/ June 20, 2012
When will you start an “Ask Charles Carreon, White-Hat Internet Lawyer” advice column? I’d like to submit your first question.
Dear Charles Carreon,
I’m 19 and I want to grow up to be a nuisance attorney. Do you have any advice for me?

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 20, 2012
I think Charles would say find someone who is wildly popular, threaten a lawsuit against them from a rival, then make everything about yourself. Every thing they say after you’ve done this is now directed at you, not your client, and you can do interviews. Also it helps if you have batshit crazy family members who will load up comment threads about you calling your detractors Nazis and the sorts. Oh yeah, and definitely sue a charity. There is no better way to get your name out there.
Also have you written poorly published books? You can then drive publicity to them trying to make profits off of the hysteria that follows. Also find a good impostor like @charles_carron and shut them down, or a website impostor like http://charles-carreon.com
Really just think what a sane, well adjusted adult would do, then do the opposite.
3.
You are Disgusting
/ June 20, 2012
“pillaging a $200,000 slush fund.” Wow. Pillage is the word you choose to use? That’s despicable.

Brian Goodell
/ June 20, 2012
You realize that this is a joke, right? It’s not his real website….

2 Comments (I don't care if you're in Canada. I'll find you.)

1.
John
/ June 21, 2012
Hi Douche. This is the postal service. We’re trying to deliver that 80 gallon tub of industrial strength anal lube you asked for but can’t reach you. can you confirm your contact details are here on the Internet please? http://www.extortionletterinfo.com/funn ... formation/
2.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 22, 2012
That’s me and can you leave it around back next to the goats?

2 Comments (Wasn't Me)

1.
annbransom
/ June 21, 2012
Dear Mr. Carreon,
I know for a fact that you stole that screenshot from me. In addition, to the exclusive trademarks & copyrights to anything I have ever uploaded to the Internet or thought about in my mind, I also hold the trademarks and copyrights on the following phrases:
1. “You are off my Christmas Card List”
2. “Mysteriously refusing to eat pork”
3. “How Dare You Invoke Red Dwarf?!”
4. “Sadism isn’t sadism in the new world”
That is just to name a few, Sir. I have no evidence whatsoever that you have abused these trademarks, but as you yourself have demonstrated something doesn’t actually have to have happened in order for one to sue over it. Rest assured you will be hearing from my counsel. She is six. You’re probably familiar with her brilliant work on such cases as Frassy vs The Cafeteria’s Stubborn Refusal to Serve Square Pizza Every Day and Frassy vs That Kid Who Took My Turn As Line Leader. She practically wrote the book on “I Know You Are, But What Am I” case law.
This is your official notice to cease and desist. Otherwise, my attorney is going to stomp a legal hole in your un-American, self important, narcissistic, greedy, washed up ass. Or as she more eloquently put it, “Nanny Nanny Boo Boo. Stick your head in doo doo.”
Doo doo, Sir.
Doo doo.
Sincerely,
Ann Bransom
2.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 21, 2012
How dare you Ann Bransom. How. Dare. You. I cannot infringe upon any of your copyrights on this site as my wife Tara is a Librarian and therefor I can lend digital materials to any computer I wish. Have you ever been to a library? That is how they work. Not only do I find you accusations baseless but also defamatory of myself, and my trademark (Internet Douchery) and request that you send me a cheque for $2,000,000,000,000. If you do not do so by June 24, 2012 I will be forced to file a federal lawsuit against you under the Lehman Act. I also adamantly request that you do not further use my name, my wife’s, my daughter’s, or any variation thereof. This includes Carreon, Charles, Tara, Maria, Chas, Chuck, Charlie, Twatwaffle, Douchebag, and any word with letters contained in those words.
Because you have posted these terms:
1. “You are off my Christmas Card List”
2. “Mysteriously refusing to eat pork”
3. “How Dare You Invoke Red Dwarf?!”
4. “Sadism isn’t sadism in the new world”
on my library, they are now public works and may be shared as I see fit. Also I request a larger picture than provided on your twitter profile, as drawing a penis on such a small scale is hard, all Tara can get on the picture is the tip. Also since you posted on my website without me giving you exclusive permission, I will also be filing charges against you for cyber-vandalism.
Doo doo at you too,
Charles Carreon Esq

12 Comments (Copyright and Digital Libraries)

1.
Lorien347
/ June 21, 2012
Dear lawyer-with-a-name-i-dare-not-say,
If i am not allowed to say bad things about you, may I say factually correct positive statements?
May I say, ” LWANIDNS has said he is a lawyer with some experience in internet law”?
May I say, “LWANIDNS writes novels for amazon that at least a half-dozen people have given glowing reviews”?
May I say, “LWANIDNS has never, to my knowledge done anything inapproptiate with a goat. I do not own a goat, but if I did LWANIDNS would be my first choice for any goatsitting related tasks. He has my complete faith for all theoretical goat needs.”
Any clarifications would be appreciated.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 21, 2012
That goat is a liar and a slanderer.
Charles Carreon Esq.
2.
Condoleeza Rice
/ June 21, 2012
Sir,
I’m offended by your photo shopping of my picture on a can of soup called tits and rice on this so called “library” site by the name of American Budda.
My tits are not saggy as you have depicted. You clearly have never seen my tits. They are very perky. They are in fact quite spectacular.
I insist you remove this disgusting picture forthwith since it is not an accurate depiction of my tits. I will not send you accurate picture of my tits because I’m sure you would then try to sue me for distribution of pornography.
Condi Rice

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 21, 2012
Surrender the pictures of your breasts or face a lawsuit for… I’ll think of something… California code is just so long, but there’s something in there about this.

Condoleeza Rice
/ June 21, 2012
You sir are a cad. Does your wife know about your facination with my tits?

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 21, 2012
Yes. She shares the fascination.

Evil Supergenius Lawyer
/ June 22, 2012
Hey Condi,
I’ve written a song for you:
Do your tits hang low
Do they wobble to and fro
Can you tie ‘em in a knot
Can you tie em in a bow
Do your tits hang low

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 22, 2012
My god that is the sweetest lyric I hath done ever heard. Sweet bard sing me a tune.
3.
themattscott
/ June 21, 2012
Charles, remember that one time that you thought you’d won a case for American Buddha Online Library and then lost it and then ignored the fact that you lost?
http://www.medialawmonitor.com/2011/12/ ... a-new-york’s-long-arm-statute-grows-longer-for-internet-piracy/
4.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 21, 2012
themattscott, that is libelous and defamatory. Surrender a cheque in the amount of $100,000 and a picture of your face so that it may be photoshopped with penises, to my wife Tara by June 25, 2012 or I will be forced to file a federal lawsuit against you seeking damages and attorney costs that I am sure will exceed $20M. Further more since you used my website without my explicit consent I am notifying the F.B.I. cyber task force in relation to your brute force hacking of my comment section. I also will kindly remind you the I have a trademark of the name Charles, and any further use will be litigated for damages under the Lenham Act.
Charles Carreon Esq.
5.
A Canadian
/ June 21, 2012
Hello, Lawyer-who-shall-not-be-named. I have a question: What is your solution to the ancient Greek Paradox of the Court?
The gist of it is that one lawyer trained a student in the law on the condition that the student pay up as soon as he won his first court case. The student picked up no clients, so the teacher sued him for the payment. The teacher said that if he won, the court would have to force the student to pay him, and if he lost, the student would have won his first court case, and would still have to pay him. The student, on the other hand, said that if he won, he would not have to pay as per the court’s decision, and if he lost, he would not have to pay because he had not won his first court case yet.
Who is right? Should the student pay the teacher or not? Bear in mind that this is a hypothetical scenario. I look forward to your response.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 21, 2012
Easy, whoever I was in the scenario, would win. Because as I have stated numerous times on this blog, in interviews with the media, and through actions across the internet, I am always right even when others would be wrong. Think of me as a legal Chuck Norris.

4 Comments (F the EFF)

1.
Santosh A Halper
/ June 21, 2012
You gave me much great advice when I asked earlier, and I wanted to let you know I’m now enrolled in Community College to become a nuisance litigator. I have also redacted all mentions of your name from my personal Twitter account and replaced them with “he who must not be satired” as requested in your letter, along with pay-palling you $100 US Dollars in settlement (as requested in your followup letter re:the letter.) I know you prefer cash, so I am awaiting your followup letter eagerly.
Regarding College, what is the best subject to Major in if I want to be a nuisance litigator, Ramones fan, midnight cowboy, and professional vicitim?

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 21, 2012
Those are all very good topics of study. I would add to the list only Library Science, thereby you can post anything you want online as an official Library and not be countersued for copyright infringement, defamation, or break attorney client privilege.

Santosh A Halper
/ June 21, 2012
Like my library of DVDs on Bittorrent?! I HAD NO IDEA! This makes me sad they closed the Napster library.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 21, 2012
Exactly my boy.

4 Comments (A break from character.)

1.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 21, 2012
Also I promise I won’t do that again (break character) unless I need to. It wasn’t funny at all.
2.
emmelemm
/ June 22, 2012
With no snark whatsoever: You are right, 100%.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 22, 2012
I appreciate it.

Santosh A Halper
/ June 22, 2012
Ditto. Nobody is so connected that people can’t crack a fucking joke about them. Also, longer posts! These are hillarious, feel free to ramble!

7 Comments (You are not the internet.)

1.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 22, 2012
Are you going to make oatmeal an illegal consumption of foods?

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 22, 2012
No one who likes The Oatmeal eats oatmeal. They’re all unwashed lackeys. They probably make strawberry pineapple smoothies and pretend they’re drinking brains like a pterodactyl.
2.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 23, 2012
Oh, good! The Palestanian orphans can still have their only food then.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 23, 2012
There is only one thing I hate more than free speech (unless I am the one speaking) and that’s orphans. I shall now include in my lawsuit against Matt Inman a stipulation that oatmeal must not be used as a food staple.
3.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 26, 2012
In you’re lawsuite file against Matt Inman, you demand a jury. If they are an internet user are they considered biased and unqualified jurors?

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
Yes, as is anyone who knows what the internet is or has been within 50 yards of a wifi signal. We all know, as Tara has explained, that wireless signals warp the brain. All I am trying to do is get a fair verdict from cavemen. I want cavemen specifically because I believe they can lead me to the dinosaurs after the trial.

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 26, 2012
Thank goodness I wear my tinfoil hat all the time to protect me from brain warping.

2 Comments (Bransom owes me dinosaurs.)

1.
Santosh A Halper
/ June 24, 2012
You’re wife refers to her as “one of the little lying bitches working for Matt Inman.” Will she be named as a Doe, or do you have a special, more sinister plan for her. Something involving Walt Disney, Killer Klowns, and Dinosaurs?
Also, for referring to your wife I have remitted $2,500 dollars and 2/3rds of my Lunch (including the pudding) to your Buddhist temple/house. Hope you can stop this little lying bitch, and all the other little lying bitches who work for the CIA Clown Mafia Illiminatus Torchwood society.
It’s unfair how they can rally 14,000 people at the drop of the hat just to bother two litigious wanna-be hippies. I find that a shameful waste of the government’s money, and ALMOST a little hard to believe (but I know it’s true because you said it.)

Santosh A Halper
/ June 24, 2012
I should have said “your.” I will remit extra pudding for my typo. Praise the Ostian Buddha.

2 Comments (I warned you all.)

1.
themattscott
/ June 23, 2012
Charles- sorry I didn’t see this immediately. I was too busy adding citation needed notes to the wiki article about your legal fight with Penguin Books (you guys really claim you have 50,000 ‘members’ at ABOL? Really?) and watching the news article you called “the first real news story” about your fight with the Internet (you know, the one Tara called “sane” and posted in it’s entirety on the Nader Library) get redacted and edited (so now we can all see what gets edited out and what doesn’t to reflect the actual situation more fairly).
Anyway, hugs and bear kisses, Chas.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 23, 2012
Though we only have like 3 or 4 people who actually post to ABOL we have at least 50,000 members and maybe even 500,000 members. I have more supporters than Inman, GW Bush, and Snooki combined. As for this author of said article obvious his account was hacked by Inman, and now Inman is posing as him doing all these things. You also now owe me a T-Rex for this post and a 10,000 word apology letter.

10 Comments (Get me out of here!)

1.
Sarah
/ June 23, 2012
Thank goodness you’re available to take new clients! You’re doing such a fabulous job with your current case that I was sure you would be inundated with people looking to secure your services.
I have a case you may be interested in. The elementary school down the street from me is holding a bake sale that is supposedly going to benefit the Red Cross. I don’t believe that the money will be donated for a second, and I want to sue them all- obviously just to protect everyone’s interests. Of course I don’t have any proof of these claims, but I’m sure that there’s something in my state’s laws that will work to our benefit. I made sure to buy a brownie so that I had standing to bring this lawsuit. I look forward to hearing your opinion on this matter.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 23, 2012
I suggest that you get like minded individuals to buy additional brownies so that we can make this a Class Action Suit. Then when we defeat them in court I’ll get a bigger payout, and the Red Cross will be saved!

Sarah
/ June 24, 2012
Fantastic idea! I knew you would be the perfect person to turn to. Since receiving your reply I have been working to find some additional plaintiffs. For some strange reason, other people seem to think my fears are unfounded, but I remain resolute on this matter. It is good to know that someone as above reproach as you shares my concern.

Santosh A Halper
/ June 24, 2012
I would like to join that Class Action. Is there still time? I’ll go buy one tomorrow; that’s all I need to have a dog in this (profitable) fight, right!

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 24, 2012
Prepare to become rich my friends. Now all we have to do is get them to speak or even better, write my name somewhere and we’ll double hit them with a trademark infringement case!
2.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 23, 2012
You should sue Pixar. They made a movie about bears, which clearly promotes the Oatmeal and what he stands for.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 23, 2012
Great lead. Pixar is in California too, so it gets me out of Arizona!

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 23, 2012
The mom turns into a bear though…doesn’t try to seduce one. I’m not sure if that changes anything

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 24, 2012
She wrestles another bear, how more pornographic can you get?

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 24, 2012
That’s right. That’s even more insulting. It’s your mother turned into a beast, doing it with another beast. Disney has taken dehumanizing to a new level. First it was those Japs, and now the poor Carreon name!

6 Comments (My dick works.)

1.
The Internet
/ June 24, 2012
To: Charles Carreon esq.
From: The Internet.
Regarding this recent article that states “ But if Inman is a guy you don’t want to mess with, so, apparently, is Carreon. Not because he knows the Internet, but because he thinks he can beat it.”
Let me tell you Mr. Lawyer-man. You cannot beat me. I am made of up millions of people (my army of minions) who exhibit a rather annoying trait of saying and doing whatever they hell they want, including posting porno, bad jokes and even worse poetry. They cannot be controlled any more than you can control a four year old after consuming a caffeinated beverage and a box of sugar pops.
When they get angry they come together like a collective army of angry fire-ants and they will find and expose every embarrassing fact, photo, and blog about you, including the one with the goats. The more you slap and scratch the worse it will be. They can also be very mean. Not just speculations about your “doing chickens without lubing up” mean, but really mean. Like nanny nanny boo boo stick your head in doo doo mean.
Lastly, I wanted to address your blatantly false and preposterous statement about “owning” the internet. For the record, you do not own me and you never will for I am everywhere and yet nowhere. I cannot be found, sued, or censored. I am all seeing, all knowing, and all powerful. My army of minions are legion and growing by the day. I, “The Internet”, and my army will collectively and legally waffle stomp your censorious douchebag ass to the curb. They will be without mercy. They will never forget. And, neither will I. After all, I am an “archive” idiot.
In summary, I will smite thee like the insignificant insect that you are, sir.
Smite thee sir,
Smite.
Regards,
The Internet
P.S. Even my cat is enjoying the show. http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/9756/slide1jk.jpg

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 24, 2012
To Internet,
I demand you relinquish the cat to my charitable trust.
Charles Carreon Esq.

The Internet
/ June 25, 2012
The cat is even more difficult to ontrol than my army of minions. The last person that tried ended up as shredded salami.
Meanwhile, one of my mininons (W. Ross) has made a motion to submit the term “Doe Hunt” to the Lexicon of Internet Law as follows:
Doe Hunt (N)
1) A bullshit legal tactic of filing a lawsuit with a large number of unnamed defendants, whom you will round up at a later date.
2) The legal equivalent of slapping a banana clip filled with law into your litigation rifle, then aiming it at the Internet.
Usage: “We’d better curb our free speech, guise. Charles Carreon’s filed a motion to Doe Hunt.”
I would ask your opinion on the matter except that your opinion doesn’t matter.

Santosh A Halper
/ June 26, 2012
If I was faced with a banana clip filled with law, I’d put my hands up and let the wielder mug me. I win in the end because the lawyer would probably spend the money on drugs and those would ruin his life.
Is the is the correct way to respond when a lawyer tries to -rob- help you with law?

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
Yes. Always give the lawyer the money.
2.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 27, 2012
(Also I find it funny that not even I wanted to +1 or twitter this title lol)

13 Comments (Told you so.)

1.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 25, 2012
Thanks to an actual reader for the PDF file I used for this.
2.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 25, 2012
Also that was the worse proofread post I’ve ever done, have updated to add things like “ing” and “ed” and spelling corrections.
3.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 26, 2012
You deleted your twitter (real Charles Carreon did)
4.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
It’s hard to be so loved by the internet. Thank You Charles for standing up for the ACS, thank you for saving bears. Thank you for saving me from Matthew Inman. I just got to many praises on twitter and had to leave. I had 4,000,000,000 followers, that’s like all of China, India and North America combined. (I suggest following either @chascarreon or @charlie_carrion. The latter is a zombie version who speaks perfect zombie in my opinion.)

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 26, 2012
You should read what your wife had to say about twitter =] http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... 8305#18305

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 26, 2012
(I find your blog very funny keep it up!)

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
I told that bitch to shut the fuck up already…. god damn it. The only person making me look crazier than myself is my own fucking wife. (Thanks)

Santosh A Halper
/ June 26, 2012
I do not think it’s appropriate to call your bitch a wife.
5.
themattscott
/ June 26, 2012
Charles- I want nothing more than to be included in your lawsuit. Seriously. Because you’re a vexatious twatwaffle and, as your blog title so eloquently states, a censorious douchebag. So please sue me, pretty please.
Hugs and bear kisses,
TMS

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
Your mouth is writing dinosaur checks but I have yet to see one live dinosaur delivered to me. I thought we settled this when I drew a dick on your face? I am so suing you for libel, slander, defamation, patent infringement, trademark infringement, and talking. I’m like that song “Say My Name” but instead YOU SHOULDN’T. I know you are part of the illuminati conspiracy, a cannibal kid, etc. I will Doe Hunt you to extinction. You got that? Why don’t you put on your big boy pants and go for a walk. You don’t know anything. I just want to save the money that Matthew Inman is going to take for himself. I deserve that money. I am a lawyer.
6.
Santosh A Halper
/ June 27, 2012
I don’t know who this W Ross character is, but he sounds handsome and well endowed!

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 27, 2012
Don’t tell Tara that…

Santosh A Halper
/ June 27, 2012
Or your daughters, right? Wasn’t there a thing in the sex.com case where one dated your partner? (http://www.sexdotcom.info/story/people/ ... arreon.htm) I know you Carreons love the Tantra (http://www.american-buddha.com/tids.htm), so we should keep knowledge of this exceptional penis away from them.
Also, I have flogged myself most grievously for posting those links with unflattering information.
Your adopted son and future litigator,
Santosh A Halper

6 Comments (A look back in time.)

1.
Nibor
/ June 26, 2012
Wait you actually had a plan you shared with FJ, so you didn’t googled something and found this one year old dispute (of course not seeing it was already one year old, who would watch those time stamps) and thought this could pay the rent.
Then going to the trademark office and found out that there was no trademark on FJ so you simply thrown a (afterwards wrong ) amount of money on the counter and secured the trademark for yourself (to later hand it over to FJ after you got the money from the Oatmeal).
Then you took a letter you found on the internets, that seemed to fit this case and reedited it and send it to the Oatmeal and informed FJ at that moment what you have done, so FJ just had to sit back and await their check in the mail very soon.
Really this wasn’t the way things have gone, remarkably you really had a plan ????????
By the way:
I don’t know if you already discovered the increase in your website traffic, you should really thank TC for her efforts in trying to get you more promoted on the internets.
Maybe you should buy her some flowers, but don’t use that 2010 credit card you know why, maybe you could order the flowers online using your super-secret e-mail account and afterwards claim the costs as damages due to cyber vandalism (so you get to whoe TC and do so for free).

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
I like how you think about the damages…

niborsypher
/ June 26, 2012
It seems I really suck at that sarcasm thing, I did not intent to give you idea’s, I tried mocking you, damm

themattscott
/ June 26, 2012
Nibo- don’t worry buddy, this is a satirical Carreon (not the real guy).

nibor
/ June 26, 2012
I know just trying to stay in character

themattscott
/ June 26, 2012
ah, crap! my bad!

31 Comments (All your domains are belong to me.)

1.
niborsypher
/ June 26, 2012
So, you are actually suing yourself and are going to name yourself as Doe 2 when register.com names you as owner.
But IANAL so the lager part of this letter is yebrisch to me, but I think I got that part right.
2.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 26, 2012
Keep on trollin Carrion!
3.
Dactyl
/ June 26, 2012
Looks like he unmasked you.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
(I always intended to take a bow after the play, but prefer my mask stays on while I am in character)

themattscott
/ June 26, 2012
Boo to Register.com for fucking up this one. I’m sure Ken (at popehat) will happily defend you, should you get that lovely knock at the door at any point.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
This is why I need dinosaurs.
4.
Valerie O'Gilain
/ June 26, 2012
I do love the fact that, despite the fact that directly under the title of this blog title it says “a satirical blog about Charles Carreon” and there is a whole page explaining the joke and that you are not really Charles Carreon, and yet the real Charles Carreon is accusing you of “misleading” people.
I really do think that by the time this is over he will be suing everyone in the known world. But then again, I am just a “devil reciting scripture.”
http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... c&start=40
5.
themattscott
/ June 26, 2012
“Take over my avenues of free speech”
Wait… wait… wait… what? He’s complaining that you’re infringing on HIS free speech?
Nucking Futz.
6.
niborsypher
/ June 26, 2012
I know I am the autistic one but you all zoomed in on the letter yes ???? (look at the logo)

themattscott
/ June 26, 2012
I’m pretty sure that it’s a legitimate letter & SC (the person behind this site) added the comment re:the logo when blacking out Carreon’s contact info.

niborsypher
/ June 26, 2012
Oke, my wrong then, I really thought it was a cleverly constructed hoax

testmftest
/ June 26, 2012
Almost certainly legit – Tara has a post up saying they are going to sue fake websites:
“And now there are two false Charles Carreon websites. And we’re going to have to sue them all. There are a lot of people just dying to be sued on this one. If you don’t have a lawyer in the family, I would recommend you start getting concerned about this now.”
http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... c&start=40
7.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 26, 2012
Next step. Supeona Ars Technica for writing an article of his wife!

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
No, sue Ars. Everyone knows you sue first subpoena for facts later. This way you frame your debate then only “discover” relevant facts to your cause.
8.
Ann Bransom
/ June 26, 2012
Can i sue for having that logo inflicted on me a second time?

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
No. I can sue you for defamation of said logo. Let’s reach a quick settlement, how many dinosaurs do you have?

Santosh A Halper
/ June 26, 2012
I want to be part of a Class Action here, as I too saw the logo. Except I want to be on your side. How about you take her dinosaurs, then we’ll ride them, then we’ll say they’re broken and make her pay us the retail price of them. But they won’t be broken so we can take that dinosaur money to the dinosaur store and we can get TWO more dinosaurs.
But get this… we’ll take them out back and put them in our dinosaur trailer, right? Then we’ll take her dinosaurs, the used ones, and walk in and go “YOU GAVE US USED DINOSAURS!” and he’ll say “OK we’ll give you fellas 50% off.” But then when he reaches into the register we’ll both shoot the used dinosaurs then when he looks up we’ll have our guns put away and we’ll go “THEIR BRAINS EXPLODED! WE WANT TWO *NEW* DINOSAURS AND THAT MONEY FOR DAMAGES AND DRY CLEANING.”
Then we’ll have four brand new dinosaurs and the important part is nobody got hurt that was us!

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
You are a sick and twisted individual. Can I adopt you?

Santosh A Halper
/ June 26, 2012
Yes! I’m so happy! I’ll be such a good Carreon, so litigious and proud! I must get to work on my first battle rap!

annbransom
/ June 26, 2012
http://data.whicdn.com/images/7074282/t ... _large.jpg

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
I consider this debt settled.
9.
Santosh A Halper
/ June 26, 2012
This is a brilliant strategy when combined with you’re wife’s “keep trolling them” strategy: Very good lawyering, my mentor! http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... c&start=50

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
No we don’t troll, we are made of fire, we dragon!

Santosh A Halper
/ June 26, 2012
It is the most powerful trolling in the world.
10.
Kristen
/ June 26, 2012
My hat goes off to you, sir. Please don’t fold under to these pieces-o-work. My dinosaur of thanks for being awesome will be going in the mail first thing (please notify me of preferred species ASAP).

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 26, 2012
T-Rex all the way.
11.
thirdgeek
/ June 27, 2012
“Charles-Carreon.com is confusingly similar to iCall’s trademark or service mark.”
What tortured logic. It’s clearly iCall who is misleading Internet users by using a name confusingly similar to Charles-Carreon.com; you should be suing them!

8 Comments (Snakes in the grass)

1.
emmelemm
/ June 27, 2012
Mad props for Rikki Tikki Ravi reference.
2.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 27, 2012

3.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 27, 2012
So we have snakes, how do goats fit into the equation?

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 27, 2012
Uh… my counsel has advised me to not speak of the goats…

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 27, 2012
Answered my own question….dear god!
http://www.american-buddha.com/mondo.mypetgoat.htm
4.
CarryOn
/ June 27, 2012
Commenting under fear that I will be named as defendant in this case..

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 27, 2012
If you truly fear being named as a defendant please email me at satiricalcharles@gmail.com. I might be able to get you in contact with someone who can help.

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 27, 2012
Mr. and Mrs. Carreon have no real power. They just throw whatever they can to try and get people to back down. And maybe I’m obsessed the past week or two reading most of the articles offered on the subject, reading Tara Carreon’s mind cramping rants, but I’m not scared of these people. We have freedom of speech. This is our American right, and two people cannot take it away. (Mrs. Carreon should do more research on the political views she throws on about with communism, facism and more)
To prove my point, if the Carreons are reading this. I am not some anomynous internet user hiding being a fake name to say what I want to say. My name is Shannon Lynch. I live in Massachusetts and I go to Bridgewater State University. You can easilly contact me at slynch@student.bridgew.edu
People on the internet are not afraid to say who they are when they say you are infringing on our rights. I comment and I support the Oatmeal, and the Dinosaur man that created a satirical diary.

8 Comments (I find myself at a loss for words.)

1.
moo
/ June 27, 2012
I’m just curious…how do you feel about your wife staring at pictures of Matt Inman for hours at a time?
http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... 8315#18315

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 27, 2012
Like a T-Rex trying to pick up an apple.

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 27, 2012
The wife wants a taste of steaming oatmeal of course!

moo
/ June 27, 2012
Can you blame her for her desire to be the ground in which Matthew sows his wild oats? I cannot…

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 27, 2012
Watch out Charles, Inman takes your name, your job, your dignity, and now your wife!
2.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 27, 2012
You people can take my name, but only I can take my dignity. Which oddly seems to be my course of action right now.
3.
Moxy
/ June 27, 2012
I love how this site has a T-Rex and the Petrodactyl on theoatmeal page was sited to be a threat against funnyjunk in the letter Douchebag sent Inman….Is the T-Rex and his pussy arms a threat againt Oatmeal??? The world wants to know Douche.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 27, 2012
The T-Rex shall rise and eat all my critics.

21 Comments (I Don't See Any F'ing Dinosaurs People)

1.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 27, 2012
Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 27, 2012
YOU’RE WRITING DINOSAUR CHECKS YOUR BANK CAN’T CASH BUSTER!

Antonio
/ June 28, 2012
YOU’RE MAKING DINOSAUR TOAST YOUR BANK CAN’T BUTTER!

antoniomalcolm
/ June 28, 2012
YOU’RE MAKING DINOSAUR TOAST YOUR BEAR-MOM CAN’T BUTTER!
2.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 27, 2012
Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon BRING Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon IT Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles ON Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon BUDDY Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon Charles Carreon

Santosh A Halper
/ June 27, 2012
My adopted father can only be legally refered to by any of the following names:
Internet Lawyer Charles Carreon
White Hat Internet Lawyer Charles Carreon
White Hat Sex.Com Litigating Attorney Charles Carreon
Founder of Ostia Charles Carreon
The Ayatollah of Letigiola
or
Huggy Fun Bear.
All other versions will get CockShopped into a Velvet Hitler Painting by one of our many hipster friends who can TOTALLY DO ART!
(How was that, Step dad?!?! More swears?)

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 27, 2012
This message is approved.

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 27, 2012
Ok. How about this? I say Charles Carreon. Then we the internet will go to Indiegogo and fundraise all the Dinosaurs we can. Take a picture of the dinosaurs so your adoptive father sees what he cannot have as we the internet ride off with out dinosaurs.
I like this plan =]

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 27, 2012
*our dinosaurs
3.
albertraccoon
/ June 27, 2012
Gaaah! Your Youtube channel (http://www.youtube.com/user/lofinikita) melted my brain! Can I sue you for crime against humanity?

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 28, 2012
No the unwashed masses have no legal rights. Only lawyers, corporations, and Level 8 and above dinosaur riders.

albertraccoon
/ June 28, 2012
Oh, by the way, you really shouldn’t use the same pseudonym for all your video-sharing website profiles. [Section removed by author of this blog]

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 28, 2012
[Sorry, same thing as above]
4.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 28, 2012
(Hey it’s not funny when we are throwing around veiled threats of knowing personal things about someone. I have not revealed anything on this website and even though it might have been a joke, I don’t endorse such actions. Please direct comments to the Satirical Charles, not real Charles. Satirical Charles rides dinosaurs.)

Cosmic Changeling
/ June 28, 2012
Sorry!

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 28, 2012
Nothing you said, your reply just hinted at what was said.

albertraccoon
/ June 28, 2012
I guess that as a White Hat Sex.Com Litigating Internet Attorney, you know that private informations don’t stay private for long in the dark alleys of the Intertubes.
But you’re right, that wasn’t smart.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 28, 2012
Threats are the weapon of those who would undo our rights. Not the weapon of those who defend it. Mistakes happen, but I would sooner shut down this blog then be a party to trying to scare people.

albertraccoon
/ June 28, 2012
Threat wasn’t my intention. I was merely pointing out that some people who are quite sensitive about their private informations tend to disclose them on their own free will.
My sincere apologies and may the Great T-Rex bless you and your blog.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 28, 2012
Sorry if I came out harsh there, I just want my intentions to be clear.

4 Comments (I am big in Asia.)

1.
Ann Bransom
/ June 28, 2012
Sorry, Charles. We and Google Translate are “the power of the Internet education classes.”
Copyright dispute evolution of personal attacks
The dream of the delivery person was released on 2012-06-14 21:54 Comments (1) 642 to read the original link [Favorite] «»
Artist Matthew Inman original works (such as Cat vs the Internet) through its website, The Oatmeal. In 2011, on his blog to write an article, accusing another site FunnyJunk complete copy of the content he created, which is equivalent to the mirror of The Oatmeal. FunnyJunk not a small site, the PV of ten million. Inman said, this site is to rely on plagiarized content advertising profit, if someone claims to have the content of copyright, while users to upload the grounds of excuse.
In early June of this year, The Oatmeal on behalf of Charles Carreon to send a lawyer’s letter, threatening to sue for libel damages of $ 20,000. Inman is extremely angry, he painted a caricature BearLove (women and Bear), and conduct online fund-raising activities. In just 64 minutes, he raised $ 20,000, has raised more than $ 160,000. His supporters from the Internet to find the Carreon contact information, send a sexual perversion comics to humiliate him. Carreon said he never expected that the cartoonist will set up a network forces to counterattack he had never seen him in this way to respond to legal threats, he did not want anyone to see his mother’s sexual perversion comic. He said that this was on the mob psychology and the power of the Internet education classes.

censoriousdouchebag
/ June 28, 2012
See even in Asian they know the picture was sexually perverted. I knew it. Best article ever! I hope they don’t change the wording…
2.
Cosmic Changeling
/ June 28, 2012
You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to yourself. If you cannot afford yourself you will be privided for you.
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