Identified as a trouble maker by the authorities since childhood, and resolved to live up to the description, Charles Carreon soon discovered that mischief is most effectively fomented through speech. Having mastered the art of flinging verbal pipe-bombs and molotov cocktails at an early age, he refined his skills by writing legal briefs and journalistic exposes, while developing a poetic style that meandered from the lyrical to the political. Journey with him into the dark caves of the human experience, illuminated by the torch of an outraged sense of injustice.
In an hour of darkness In an hour of grief When we look to the news And find no relief
A clown in the White House Rules a vampire ball Where the blood flows freely Right through the halls
A front man is needed For the main freak show So out to the barracks They presently go
They find a pliable man With shoulders like stone Who says what he means And does what he’s told
And he’s got FOUR STARS That General Petraeus He’s got FOUR STARS That’s four more than you He’s got FOUR STARS That’s enough to betray us He’s got FOUR STARS So what you gonna do?
When the refugees are in millions And the prison’s filled with innocents When car bombs detonate routinely Still criticism’s unseemly
When a man with a multi-colored map Sits down and tells you where it’s at And answers every question In just the perfect way You gotta say
That’s why he’s got FOUR STARS Good ole General Petraeus He’s got FOUR STARS What’s that mean to you? He’s got FOUR STARS That’s enough to betray us He’s got FOUR STARS Just enough to pull us through
When history judges men It does so with a mighty pen A name may be forgotten Or forever engraved in stone
For villainy, for virtue For loyalty or treason, For General Petraeus They won’t have to find a reason
They’ll say he had FOUR STARS That he used to betray us FOUR STARS And a shell game on the news FOUR STARS Yeah that General Petraeus He has FOUR STARS That’s four more than you
From the Lair of the Defense Command Comes the order Destroy all men Destroy all creatures That walk on two Legs are verboten And tits are, too.
How it began we can't recall First we drove them Now they drive us all We're like cattle And they're the prod Lay down and worship The mechanical god
Do you remember when we used to play In the land called the USA? Little children and mothers too On the swings in the skies of blue Then there came that Terrible day When they burned the skies away
Now it's black from border to border You know the law It says we torture Stay inside Till the curfew's over We're rounding up some terrorists So where's your son? He's on the list
Wake up Wake up The bad dream's over Wake up, wake up, We crossed the border Wake up, wake up, We killed the monster Wake up little child And hug your father
Oh no you don't You little shit You thought you'd get Away with it We caught you now The fun is over Your little friends Your little games Your big ideas They're to blame.
In the movie The hero finds the great device Plants it behind the monster's eyes Pulls the pin And pays the price Then it's off to paradise
So this is it The brand new order No one is Free Where are your papers? This isn't you In this picture These prints are fake she's not your sister You're just another war resister
You should have stood When you had the chance Now you're a victim of circumstance They give the orders And you kneel down Last thing you feel Is the stony ground Just wish you could have said
Fuck you And your fucking order Your fucking guns And fucking borders Fuck you and your dollar bill Fuck you and your torture skills You'll have to kill me to shut me up Does anybody Wanna back me up?
When you look on this world Filled with sadness and grief You might think that death Is your only relief
But if you could just learn To lie through your teeth You wouldn't have to eat hamburger, You'd dine on prime beef Instead of smokin' shake, You'd be tokin' fine spleef
Cause God loves a hypocrite Sure as you're born And a lie's the best shelter From blame and scorn The truth's just plain trouble, But don't look so forlorn, Just start spewin' bullshit You'll find shelter from the storm
Some people are blessed With a flexible tongue That they occupy With spreading cowdung
Whether lobbyists, lawyers, Judges or thieves, They make a fine dollar From social disease They all stand around And share pats on the back So glad to be one Of such a fine bunch of chaps
Cause God loves a hypocrite Sure as you're born And a lie's the best shelter From blame and scorn The truth's just plain trouble, But don't look so forlorn, Just start spewin' bullshit You'll find shelter from the storm
Some think that lying Won't take you that far, But to get someplace these days You don't drive a car
You fire up a printing press And co-opt TV, Rig polls and elections Pay folks to deceive -- When the votes are all counted What a surprise! The one who wins Is the one who lies.
Cause God loves a hypocrite Sure as you're born And a lie's the best shelter From blame and scorn The truth's just plain trouble, But don't look so forlorn, Just start spewin' bullshit You'll find shelter from the storm
Heaven’s perfect, so why should eye care? They say that we’re all gonna end up there. White light and blue sky, up on Cloud 9, But down here there’s no time to be divine.
The earth is turning in the Milky Way, I reckon that it’s gonna stay that way, My momma bore me, my daddy taught me, The earth will rest me in its heart someday.
Yeah heaven’s perfect, so why should eye care? Don’t figure I could pay the rent up there. White light and blue sky, up on Cloud 9 My neighbor says that it’s a real good time.
The highway’s filled with rollin’ automobiles That whisk us through domesticated fields, We rarely stop to see what’s on the way, It always looks the same, anyway.
Yeah heaven’s perfect, and I might care, If it was somethin’ like the County Fair When some old blues band plays a funky tune The beer is cold and it’s the middle of June.
They put another WalMart out this way, They said it couldn’t wait another day, They gave ‘em tax breaks, they gave us jobs, Thank god that Michael Moore is such a slob.
Heaven’s perfect, as everyone knows, The place where all good people go, In glorious garments, that they’ve put on, Arrive like soldiers on the shores of dawn.
Yeah heaven’s perfect, but I’m just not there, A thousand promises won’t drag me there, Yeah I’ll just stay here see what I can do On my perfect Friday afternoon.
Heaven’s perfect, so why should eye care? They say that we’re all gonna end up there. White light and blue sky, up on Cloud 9, But down here there’s no time to be divine.
The earth is turning in the Milky Way, I reckon that it’s gonna stay that way, My momma bore me, my daddy taught me, The earth will rest me in its heart someday.
I was born down in Texas Silver spoon in my nose I tasted sweet senoritas Hey you know how it goes
Then I went into politics Man, I sure got it right Made lots of money Made even more friends It was a fool's delight
At last I came to the castle With the doors open wide And I concluded without much ado, Heaven's safe, but the profit's in Hell
Then I opened my Bible And it showed me the way There was voting on the Senate Floor I thought I heard them say
Welcome to the Hotel Babylonia Such an ancient place (such an ancient place) There'll be no disgrace Plenty of guns in the Hotel Babylonia You can find terrorists here Any time of year
Alberto is so helpful He has explained so clear How it is that I'm invincible How the story ends
How they give me the power How we do what we will One voted to stay my knife The others voted to kill
So I dialed up the Congress "We need money and time" They said take everything you need We're drinking Jack Abramoff's wine And I hear Achmed Chalabi calling From far away There's so much money here that we can make Come and we can play
We're living it up at the Hotel Babylonia Such an ancient place (such an ancient place) There'll be no disgrace Plenty of guns in the Hotel Babylonia You can find terrorists here Any time of year
Baghdad's one big blister Filled with murder and crime And I've spent everything the world will earn Until the end of time
And in the prison courtyard We strung up old Saddam But he died like an iron man and on YOU TUBE he lives on
Now I try to remember How I got to this place I'm naked as a jaybird Facing some disgrace
"Relax," says Maliki We are glad to deceive You'll be here another twenty years Don't even try to leave
We're living it up at the Hotel Babylonia Such an ancient place (such an ancient place) There'll be no disgrace Plenty of guns in the Hotel Babylonia You can find terrorists here Any time of year
Well it’s two-thousand seven Feelin’ pretty far from heaven Unable to rise Above the debate Degenerating into Senseless Hate
Lily-livered preachers And Southern Belles Shack up together in Baghdad hotels They schlep salvation in their private hells Built by Halliburton Cause the sacred sells
Now listen God Almighty Got some questions for you Why do the KKK love ya And the Jews do to? Is banking always sacred? Isn’t oil, too? Are you in it for the money? Are you cut in, too?
I read an expose on you It told me what you’re trying to do It told me who you’ve bought And who you’ve sold The deals you cut in the Age of Gold
And I ain’t hatin’ Satan, He didn’t do anything wrong He was put up to it Set up Taken down Like Saddam.
Why do you bless the virtuous hypocrite Give ‘em wealth and all the rest of it Leave little children dying Mothers crying Planet burning Species dying
And I ain’t hatin’ Satan, He didn’t do anything wrong He was put up to it Set up Taken down Like Saddam.
If you can’t control your creations, If justice doesn’t exist, Then wherefore are you God Almighty What type of game is this?
And I ain’t hatin’ Satan, He didn’t do anything wrong He was put up to it Set up Taken down Like Saddam.
Machines are the slaves Of the modern day, No need for men to labor At a poor man’s pay Microchips used to make me Feel all right They powered my iPod And the tunes were tight Then one day there came a money crunch And a Chinese robot ate my lunch
And I became a Luddite Overnight!
I used to carry my guitar In a gunny sack Go to Circle K For a midnight snack Hot dogs, pudding pops Were really cool I ate that shit Like a fuckin’ fool Then the doc said I had colon cancer In a New York minute I had the answer
And I became a Luddite Overnight!
I used to have a girlfriend Her name was Rita Then I got a computer And I ceased to meet her All night deep in Internet Seein’ silicone chicks Havin’ cybersex Then one day I got my credit card bill And I was a Jack without a Jill
Well who is Ricky Ricardo? The plastic Latino Married Lucille Ball And played Cubano In a Music Hall.
Lucy! Lucy! I don’t love you Not because of all the things you do They say you’re funny But I know you’re not Lucy Lucy I think you’re hot.
Your buddy Ethel is a laugh and a half But I think you’ve Got an incredible ass Let’s get Ricky outta the way I’m four years old And it’s time to play
Lucy! Lucy! I don’t love you Not because of all the things you do They say you’re funny But I know you’re not Lucy Lucy I think you’re hot.
Hollywood is an incredible place You’re like a clown with Makeup on your face You’re like a bird Lookin’ weird and proud You make my uncles laugh out loud.
Lucy! Lucy! I don’t love you Not because of all the things you do They say you’re funny But I know you’re not Lucy Lucy I think you’re hot.
I don’t love Lucy No, no, no She isn’t funny Let me go Stuck in the living room She makes me twitch Now where the hell do I feel that itch?
Lucy! Lucy! I don’t love you Not because of all the things you do They say you’re funny But I know you’re not Lucy Lucy I think you’re hot. Lucy Lucy I think you’re hot.
IT'S GONNA GET WORSE (BEFORE IT GETS BETTER), by Charles Carreon
Well the flood came down Took the house away Wouldn’t you know That the porch would stay On that beat up couch With the cigarette burns I can just sit here While the world turns
And it’s gonna get worse Before it gets better I heard the guv’mnt lady say Before she drove away In her guv’mnt car She was a real go-getter But she never came back this way I hope the neighbors didn’t catch her
Well eventually they brought some trailers in Of formaldehyde, plastic and tin I moved indoors one summer day Now they wanna take it all away I signed all the forms And said what can I do? They said maybe you can stay A month or two
But it’s gonna get worse Before it gets better Money doesn’t grow on trees And people aren’t honeybees Yeah it always gets worse Before it gets better That’s what they always say Forever and a day
Like Napoleon said at Waterloo When the story’s wrote Then you’re through You can bitch and moan You can cry and weep Sign a gov’mnt loan Get a repayment sheet
But it always gets worse And it rarely gets better There’s a bigger force in play I heard that preacher say Before they burned his church And the weather got wetter There’s always hell to pay At least ‘till judgment day ‘Cause it’s gonna get worse Before it gets better So I take five shots a day And now you’ll hear me say It was worse But now it's gotten better
If your life is plagued with discord, and you can't get out of bed, If you're hungover with sadness and wish that you were dead, If you've got a forty-five pointed up against your head, Then you might as well become a Buddhist And save a little lead.
Well if you dig the Mahayana You don't have to cut your hair And if you chant a little now You'll have nothing to fear When death comes strolling down the aisle And extends his hand to you, You'll say "my ticket's paid today, So what more can I do?"
The Dharma's just for losers At least that's what the Siddha said When he rolled the final snake eyes With the eyeballs from his head And dakinis started cackling Like buzzards in the sky Then he clicked his heels And grabbed his chick And flew away on high.
It's Tantra, baby, on the hoof Too hot to try to sell, And if you don't believe me We'll discuss it all in hell. The family is twisted, That's known around these parts, The men will steal your car While the women break your heart.
The crossing signs are switched up All around this place, When you play it, it's a Joker, Though you swore you drew an Ace, And the hit men play with apple pies The girls are made of stone And every word that flies about Is sure to break a bone.
The guides have all gone crazy In this place where travel's free, There's nothing more amazing Than to see one in a tree, Laughing like a psycho With his head inside a box You'd swear he'd never heard That little kids get chicken pox.
It's Tantra, baby, grab a bite And hang on to your hat, We'll feed you magic potions And lay you on a mat, We'll dance around you wildly With flowers in our hair And when you wake in our place You are a billionaire.
When I was a little boy On my daddy's knee He told me we were livin' In a democracy
Then I went off to high school And took a civics class They said the three-party system Kicked socialism's ass
Now I'm paying taxes And voting like I should Won't somebody tell me Why it don't do no good
We got a nut in the White House Who thinks he's Jesus Christ He thinks he died already And this is paradise
Well you can call up the Congress But it don't do no good They're totally useless Like a gun made of wood
So I went to the courthouse And the Chief Justice said That the Bill of Rights Was officially dead.
Well I went to the preacher I said this cannot be He said son do not say that It's perilous, you see
He said you see that statue It's got a hidden bug It's not the good Lord watchin' The hawk has killed the dove
I said is nothing sacred? He said not that I know So I took my donation And said I had to go
Next I went to the doctor I said what's going on? Has everyone gone crazy? Don't tell me nothing's wrong
He said I ran all the tests The results are sure Everyone's stone deaf And there is just no cure
So I went to the banker Said what's the price of gold? He said we don't stock that It's under central control
But if you want some credit I'll give it to you cheap And then he smiled like the devil Gave me the terminal creeps
So I went to the girl Who walks the neighborhood streets She said don't bother asking I'm all out of treats
I said you must be kidding At least you could be real She said I'm giving up now There's nothing left to steal
So I went to the airport To get a ticket to fly They said hey no way man He's on the list, all right
They called security quickly They put me in this can And now I'm so glad to see you We need to make a plan
Yeah but don't let 'em hear you Here, just give me your hand When night-time comes we'll make some plans When the guard's asleep we'll make some plans.
LET'S GO BACK TO THE DAYS OF DIALUP, by Charles Carreon
I grew up without the Internet And I ain’t never found a use for it yet Yep, a horse and buggy is good enough For a person who needs to move their stuff
Yeah, let’s go back to the days of dialup We’ll get all the citizens riled up Remembering about the good old days, Good enough for me is the way it should stay.
When I get a look at that Internet porn It makes me wanna blow my horn It’s mighty hard to look the other way When every pretty face just wants to play
So let’s go back to the days of dialup The folks around here are all riled up It wasn’t this way in the good old days So let’s turn back the clock and quit the rat race
Yeah they’re all wrapped up in this fiber net Never seen no good from it yet Too many bills already to pay What’s a poor local fellow to say?
But let’s go back to the days of dialup Me and my friends are all riled up You don’t need nothing we don’t understand And we all agree it was a terrible plan
They say there ain’t no solution, we can’t fix nothin’ Can’t fire nobody or get an answer to a question They must think we’re stupid or just don’t care How much we pay for light and air
So let’s go back to the days of dialup All say “aye” and stand up Don’t have to understand when you know what you’re doin’ And I’m pretty darned sure it’s not myself I’m screwin’
We’re headed back to the days of dialup Better get used to sayin’ “giddy-up,” ’Cause the past was fast, but the future will be slower. You can honk your horn, but we won’t pull over.