Law Firm, by Charles Carreon
I went to a law firm the other day;
They said to come down right away
So I ditched all my classes;
I put on my suit,
And applied some Aqua Velva to
my face to boot.
I borrowed the car
from my dear roommate,
Cause I knew that he wouldn't
want me to be late.
I took the elevator to the thirty third floor
And walked through the huge
oak double-doors.
It was a law firm,
A real big place,
With chrome decor from outer space.
It was a great big place,
With lots of magazines
And a woman with
a face from the fashion scene
brought me a cup of stale caffeine.
While I was chokin it down,
This guy came around;
Well he was tryin' to smile
But it looked like a frown.
He was lookin' around
and sniffin' about
Like maybe somebody
Didn't put the cat out.
It was a law firm
A really big place
With the big time bucks
That the big boys make.
The first guy I talked to
Was an a-sso-ci-ate;
Didn't say too much,
And his favorite line
Was "Excuse me, what?"
Then he took me down the hall
To this real stiff chick
With some real cold hands
And clothes that really fit --
She looked at my shoes
And she looked at my face,
And that second look said
"Boy are you outta place."
She talked about "the firm,"
And she talked about clients;
She looked me in the eye
And said "They're all corporate giants."
Yeah it was a law firm,
A scary place
Like a bad disease
Of the human race
So I said goodbye, ma'am,
I really gotta run,
Cause I'm a bit too young
To give up havin' fun
As I was walkin' out
They met me at the door,
And looked like they might pitch me
Out the thirty-third floor
But they were so polite
And said "We really understand,"
While what they meant was
"Boy are you outta hand."
It was a law firm
Ya know the kinda place --
They'll give you a job and
Think they own your face --
It was a law firm
A dangerous place
A bad disease
Of the human race.