God Loves a Hypocrite, by Charles Carreon
When you look on this world
Filled with sadness and grief
You might think that death
Is your only relief
But if you could just learn
To lie through your teeth
You wouldn't have to eat hamburger,
You'd dine on prime beef
Instead of smokin' shake,
You'd be tokin' fine spleef
Cause God loves a hypocrite
Sure as you're born
And a lie's the best shelter
From blame and scorn
The truth's just plain trouble,
But don't look so forlorn,
Just start spewin' bullshit
You'll find shelter from the storm
Some people are blessed
With a flexible tongue
That they occupy
With spreading cowdung
Whether lobbyists, lawyers,
Judges or thieves,
They make a fine dollar
From social disease
They all stand around
And share pats on the back
So glad to be one
Of such a fine bunch of chaps
Cause God loves a hypocrite
Sure as you're born
And a lie's the best shelter
From blame and scorn
The truth's just plain trouble,
But don't look so forlorn,
Just start spewin' bullshit
You'll find shelter from the storm
Some think that lying
Won't take you that far,
But to get someplace these days
You don't drive a car
You fire up a printing press
And co-opt TV,
Rig polls and elections
Pay folks to deceive --
When the votes are all counted
What a surprise!
The one who wins
Is the one who lies.
Cause God loves a hypocrite
Sure as you're born
And a lie's the best shelter
From blame and scorn
The truth's just plain trouble,
But don't look so forlorn,
Just start spewin' bullshit
You'll find shelter from the storm