An Apology to Survivors of Shambhala Sexual Misconduct
by Fred Coulson
February 7, 2019
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By now we are all aware of the letter that Mipham J. Mukpo (known to some as “Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche”) sent to the Shambhala community shortly before fleeing the country. In it he tried to respond to the findings of sexual misconduct that are documented in the third-party report that was commissioned by Shambhala’s legal counsel.
Mipham’s response is inadequate because it fails to address the survivors of his and his enablers’ abuse, and it falls short of the full apology he needs to make if he is ever to regain credibility in the eyes of his disappointed followers, and the world.
Attorney Carol Merchasin, who assisted with the Buddhist Project Sunshine project that started bringing Mipham’s misdeeds to light, wrote a brilliant analysis of Mipham’s letter, in which she suggested how a proper apology to the assault and sexual misconduct survivors might go:
We are beyond regret that your spiritual teacher and the organization you trusted and relied on abused you. All of us as leaders of this community have betrayed your trust; we have been complicit not only in seeing and allowing this aggressive behavior to continue, but we also inflicted more pain on you by not listening, by seeking to minimize the harm, by denying this happened, by demeaning you, by labeling you as ‘needy,’ ‘troubled,’ or ‘too ambitious.’ We understand that all of these actions were wrong – not only wrong but done in an attempt to protect ourselves and not you. For all of this we stand before you in breathtaking remorse for the harm we have allowed. In addition to making the changes that must be made to the organization, we intend immediately to begin a program of restitution and repair for each and every one of you who has experienced pain due to our action and lack of action.
If you feel that you may have been complicit in the abuse, whether directly or indirectly, whether you were a leader or not, then please join me in affixing your name to this apology. Feel free to use your refuge name, Shambhala name, or a pseudonym if you like. You can leave a brief comment expressing why you think this apology is important, if you feel comfortable doing that.
This is not a petition that will be submitted to any authority. This is merely a public statement of support for the survivors of Mipham’s and Shambhala’s abuse over the years, and a token of gratitude to the brave people who have come forward at great personal risk to expose the abuse.
Sincerely,
Fred Coulson
(Vajradhatu/Shambhala, 1989-2004)
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164 signatures
Fred Coulson says:
February 7, 2019 at 1:07 pm
I regret that my dues and effort over the years helped to enable Shambhala’s ongoing abuse of vulnerable people. And I apologize for the harm I did through my selfishness and lack of empathy.
Norbert Hasenoehrl says:
February 7, 2019 at 2:04 pm
I was part of this abusive system for 20 years. I gave money, time, energy to that organisation and tried to convince others to do the same. I am deeply sorry for that now. I ask foregiveness from anybody who was hurt in Vajradhatu/Shambhala.
Shannon van Staden says:
February 7, 2019 at 2:12 pm
I am deeply touched by your bravery to speak up. I am also very sorry for the harm you have endured and the shunning from your community. Just by being part of the sangha, I feel complicit.
Magnus Lidbom says:
February 7, 2019 at 2:30 pm
Thank you so much for speaking up. I’m terribly sorry for what you have gone through.
I’m a brand new member, but that does not absolve me from responsibility. Each and every one that is voluntarily part of an organization and supports that organization has a responsibility. A responsibility to find out what the organization is about and what the effects of supporting it is. Unless there is a complete replacement of the leadership structure I will be leaving.
Edmund Butler says:
February 7, 2019 at 2:56 pm
For those who were harmed by my carelessness and those I promoted – may you feel loved, at peace and cherish every moment free of this pain.
Brian Sullivan says:
February 7, 2019 at 3:47 pm
To quote further from Attorney Carol Merchasin’s important analysis,
“You cannot heal if you cannot honor the whistleblowers.”
I honor and thank you for shining a powerful light into a darkness that was spun for us to avoid.
Jez Taylor says:
February 7, 2019 at 4:00 pm
Your bravery is an example to us all, I thank you with all my heart and hope you find peace and freedom from the pain you have had to endure.
David Philbedge says:
February 7, 2019 at 4:34 pm
I appreciate your bravery, but I am so ashamed by the lack of bravery of so many that could have helped, in a variety of ways, which has meant that those at the sharp end, have had to bear the whole load themselves
Julia Howell says:
February 7, 2019 at 4:38 pm
I am sorry MM treated you with disrespect. I am sorry those who knew the danger and did not take action to prevent it from happening again. I am sorry that I knew and did not speak up sooner. I am sorry I kept company with enablers and fixers, those who don’t or didn’t believe you. I am sorry there was no place out in the open where you would be safe disclosing and responded to. I will not support Shambhala anymore–you are more valuable and worthy of respect. What do you need to move through the impact? Those affiliated owe it to you to find a way to fulfill that need, myself included.
Drukmo Daschon says:
February 7, 2019 at 4:40 pm
I’m sorry I ever met the universal monarch. I’m sorry I was ever involved. Sorry I said yes. Sorry people died due to the toxic cult of shambhala. Sorry for the pain I caused. Sorry it took me so long to realize how dangerous this is. Not sorry they are going down, though. Not sorry people with intelligence are leaving in droves!
Richard Allison says:
February 7, 2019 at 6:38 pm
By the sacrifice you’ve made you’ve acted as a true bodhisattva! I’m very grateful and at the same time extremely sorry for your personal pain, loss and sorrow. May all the world shower you with blessings…
Lise Hull says:
February 7, 2019 at 7:03 pm
I am sorry for your pain and wish you true freedom from your suffering.
Heymama Wolf says:
February 7, 2019 at 7:15 pm
Immense gratitude to all those who have broken the silence of abuse in Tibetan Buddhism!
Good Boundless Rainbow says:
February 7, 2019 at 7:31 pm
Thank you for speaking truth to power and hoping to change the toxic institutional culture. It’s very sad that Shambhala’s response has not lived up to the heart of the teachings themselves.
Carol Merchasin says:
February 7, 2019 at 7:37 pm
With hopes for healing in 2019.
Robert Merchasin says:
February 7, 2019 at 7:39 pm
Alyson Fyffe says:
February 7, 2019 at 7:58 pm
I am deeply grateful to all of the survivors for sharing your stories, even in the face of gaslighting, shaming and threats. I cannot imagine how difficult this has been for you, but in sharing as you have, you have saved many of us from harm. Thank you.
I am also sorry I supported this toxic organization, and that I did not take the time to understand what it was all about before giving it my time and money. I will do what I can to make amends for my part in supporting this culture of harm.
Justin Rezzonico says:
February 7, 2019 at 8:09 pm
I’m sorry people are choosing to protect themselves and the organization instead of the most vulnerable and the truth which is true dharma. I’m sorry Shambhala hasn’t reached out and said, “We hear you, what do you need?”
Kathleen E Moore says:
February 7, 2019 at 9:04 pm
I was part of this organization for several years and I totally jumped in even while witnessing problems from the very beginning. I apologize for the blindness that lead to my not noticing the extent of the harm being perpetrated. I apologize for the narrowness of my understanding resulting in ignoring the systemic nature of harm in this community. I apologize for believing, however briefly in the specialness of a leader, imbuing others -and myself – with less power and agency. I apologize for not asking more questions and for my lack of curiosity. I apologize to all those who were harmed by me. I really should have known better.
I have tremendous appreciation and gratitude for those who have had the courage to reveal their stories of suffering by leaders, teachers and students in this community. I know they have faced derision, dismissal, shunning, gossip, threats and discounting. They have been revictimized. I applaud you and I respect you. I am listening.
Margaret Ervin says:
February 7, 2019 at 10:53 pm
I am sorry that my support of Shambhala was support for a deeply misogynistic organization that consistently and systematically silenced, shunned, and disbelieved you. Though I didn’t know most of you, I did know one who was hurt and manipulated, and I am sorry. I now realize this is not a safe community. It is a community that helps women uncover their power, only to then objectify, mystify, and co-opt that power. It is a bait and switch. I am ashamed to have been part of that degradation. Shambhala is a sacrilege. It is a community that serves up the sacred feminine for the use of men, for the use of so-called teachers. I have stood by and watched the seduction, and I assisted in normalizing it. I congratulated you. I played along and tried to make myself seem part of the scene by doing so. I should have recognized it for what it was. I should have told you it felt creepy. Because it did. I should have been on your side, looking out for you like a sister should, not going along for the ride. I mean, fingers would have been pointing at me if I’d said, “Eek! What the fuck? Are you sure?” But I could have at least left. I’m leaving now. Even if you need to stay, and no matter what you need to do, I love you. I am on your side. May you have happiness and ease, and may you experience peace in the joy of your own perfection.
Kindness Warrior says:
February 8, 2019 at 1:43 am
I am so sorry that a community that was supposed to be a “culture of kindness”, has abused people so horrifically and that the head teacher didn’t even attempt to acknowledge the “rot” until he was caught. I am sorry for all the victims who were driven to suicide, psychiatric issues, PTSD, addiction, despair, and complete isolation. I am so sorry that sangha members continue to pour secondary wounding on top of that. I am sorry for the deep devastation Osel Mukpos conduct has caused to the actual lives of his victims. I am so sorry that many are still too terrified to speak out about being raped. I am not sorry to be leaving the cult of Shambhala. Ki Ki So So…. its time to go!!!!!
Linda Markowitz says:
February 8, 2019 at 5:18 am
I am so sorry that it took a deafening cry to wake us from great ignorance. And I’m sorry that there are still those who cannot hear the whole of that cry. May you dwell in great peace and equanimity and find joy, compassion and loving kindness in all that you meet.
Cheri Tiernan says:
February 8, 2019 at 6:25 am
I am deeply sorry for the abuse, shunning, shaming and personal attacks you’ve endured. I want to thank you for your courage and conviction in bringing these abuses to light. May you have peace and healing.
Jenny says:
February 8, 2019 at 6:45 am
I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through, and sorry for any part of it I might have enabled. You deserved better. I send you love, support, and wishes for healing. Thank you for speaking out, if you could, and for surviving whether you chose to speak out or not. I see you.
Amanda Hester says:
February 8, 2019 at 7:32 am
I am so sorry for whatever role I have played, directly or indirectly, in causing anyone to feel and experience harm. I will continue to try, to learn, and to do better.
Kathy Southard says:
February 8, 2019 at 7:44 am
I am sorry for also gaslighting you when you first told me. I am sorry to have contributed to this culture of harm towards women and abuse of power. I am so sorry that I was so indoctrinated that it took time for me to listen to my basic intelligence and wisdom. I hope you always feel included and respected. I hope healing, peace, and kindness replace what you have experienced previously. My you feel vindicated and validated.
Daniel says:
February 8, 2019 at 8:42 am
Thank you for your courage in speaking out and for bringing to light abuse and those aspects which lead to a culture of complicity. As a former member of the kasung for little over a year, I am especially sorry that I didn’t do more to hold space for you, and that I didn’t recognize or dig into the toxic workings of the culture I was being asked to protect. I am sorry that I made a vow to an organization that used its structure to silence whistleblowers, such as yourselves, and that the inner circle of kasung, the kusung, were so derilect in their duty to protect you in your moment of need. There was a serious lapse of relying on innate wisdom, and rather an apparent turn toward fealty. As part of our practice we contemplate and attempt to manifest “Don’t be afraid to be a fool.” It is my opinion we were afraid to appear foolish in front of senior teachers by calling out abuses, and calling out aspects of the culture that we may have observed as toxic. You suffered because of fealty overruling the greater duty of care for the sangha. I am so sorry that my ego, and having it stroked by the opinions of others such as senior teachers, got in the way of your care. Though I never served Mipham Mukpo, I recognize within myself the qualities that could have lead toward fealty toward my trusted spiritual master over duty to the sangha. However those qualities impacted those around me, directly or indirectly, I am sorry to them, and I am sorry to you.
Kate Linsley says:
February 8, 2019 at 10:23 am
Crystal Gandrud says:
February 8, 2019 at 11:27 am
I am sorry that I have been complicit in a culture of abuse. I am sorry that it did not occur to me that it could change. I am sorry that I did not pursue more directly and vigorously the whispers and intimations I caught. I am sorry I could not keep foremost in my mind that those whispers meant people were being hurt. I am sorry that although I was aware that the Sakyong was one of the people we all knew to ‘stay away from’ (as well as many Acharyas and people in the inner circle) that I did not somehow connect that with being WRONG. I am sorry that I assumed the women involved in these exploits somehow ‘wanted’ to. What was I thinking? I am sorry I was basically blind to the reality of clergy sexual abuse. I am sorry that I looked the other way. I am sorry that when I did not look the other way or spoke up that I allowed the immediate negative feedback to hush me. I am sorry that I ‘dealt’ with the victims of power dynamics (even on the most mundane level) instead of going straight to the perpetrator-thereby reinforcing the idea that it was somehow not the problem of the perpetrator. I am sorry that when I was on the receiving end of misogyny that I did not more vigorously stand up to them and insist that they be held accountable. I am sorry for all the ways I cannot currently perceive or imagine in which I have contributed to the culture of abuse in Shambhala. I vow to do much better now and in perpetuity.
Sarah Wilson-Reissmann says:
February 8, 2019 at 12:23 pm
Tsering Rangjung says:
February 8, 2019 at 12:51 pm
I am sorry that I bought into the Shambhala story line, that I fell into the trap of wanting to be cool with outrageous behaviors so I would ‘get it,’ be part of the inner circle, and belong. I’m sorry I was so seduced by SMR and CTR that I didn’t prioritize people who were being harmed by the organization. I am seeing how my own conditioning and traumas led to me believing this was all ok, cool even, crazy wisdom. That the abuse I experienced myself was my karma. I offer my love to all who’ve been harmed, disregarded, discredited, shoved aside. What can I do to help you? What can Shambhala do to help you? I am grateful this is all coming out now so we can work together honestly.
Dr. Annie Price says:
February 8, 2019 at 1:52 pm
I am sorry I supported financially and emotionally a hypocritical predatory organization.
I am sorry I had no idea anything like this was happening around me.
I am sorry I lacked the confidence in my own innate wisdom but instead placed that confidence with someone as foul and disgusting as MM.
I am sorry I didn’t trust my gut feeling when I thought certain situations seemed strange and I didn’t speak up which may have resulted in someone being harmed.
I am sorry that practitioners/teachers perverted “vajrayana secret practices” as an excuse to justify horrible behavior.
I am sorry everyone used Trungpa’s “Crazy Wisdom” to justify mysogyny and sexual exploitation while we justified it as those crazy hippie years.
I am sorry I was so angry and disappointed that I did not attend an Atlanta community meeting that was suppose to open a discussion with John Rockwell regarding the allegations/investigations (and after spending most the time having everyone chant and mediate leaving only 20 minutes for discussion, saying that a simple accusation could damage a man and basically blowing it off )and I wasn’t there to stand up for victims by calling out how gross he was.
I am so so very sorry from the depths of my humanness that you either were not believed or told that MM shouldn’t be questioned. I ache knowing this happened to you.
I am sorry the leaders in every Shambhala setting have not lived up to their position and are not real leaders in any sense.
I am sorry Shambhalians are continuing to support him and find excuses for MM’s (or any other perpetrator’s) chronic aggressive criminal behavior.
I am devastatingly sorry your practice and your path to wisdom was clouded/confused or eroded by self serving people with no integrity.
I am sorry the investigation was obviously biased and in no way complete.
I am sorry that the investigator had the irresponsibility to publish hearsay/gossip by claiming one of you was trying to buy a way to the teacher. I am sorry there was ANY question that it could be a victim’s fault in any way.
I’m sorry that the findings were classified as sexual misconduct instead of what it really was- sexual predation and assault.
I am sorry and disappointed but not surprised that MM wrote an “apology” that was not real or heart felt and pointed the finger/blame to us to look at how we create harm.
I am sorry that all the community and victims are being asked to continue to follow this sick sociopath if we want to pursue these beautiful and dignified teachings.
I am so so very sorry. No one in our community should ever be put in a situation of harm. I am so very truly and with all my heart sorry you the victims have had to be the ones to shed light on this alone and have to relive and add new pain. We have all failed you. I love you and respect you and feel heart break and true sadness for what you have had to go through.
Adrienne Papermaster says:
February 8, 2019 at 2:21 pm
I’m sorry for my ignorance and my failure to question everything that felt off. I’m sorry that as a kasung I didn’t protect you. I’m sorry that I staffed and coordinated programs and took on leadership positions at my local center, helping to draw in many new people. I’m sorry that my time, treasure and love of the dharma supported a “mandala” that was rotten at the center. Thank you for your bravery. May you be happy, healthy and free.
Christopher Kilmer says:
February 8, 2019 at 2:51 pm
Boundless Lion says:
February 8, 2019 at 3:04 pm
I am sorry I didn’t see things earlier. I am sorry the gaslighting and shunning and narcissism is still going on. I am sorry for the recent hurts caused by the Sakyongs dumb letter and people’s blindness. I am sorry this organization does not have more courage and common sense. May all the survivors be safe and well.
Erik Blagsvedt says:
February 8, 2019 at 3:22 pm
JC Jaress says:
February 8, 2019 at 3:26 pm
My apologies for the unnecessary suffering caused at the hands of people in position of power. I offer my wish for healing of all parties affected. Also, my sincere regrets for the moments in my life when I have caused unnecessary suffering of others, regardless of scope, magnitude or intention. Much love.
All Pervasive Moon says:
February 8, 2019 at 3:50 pm
I am sorry for the harm done to a number of people through the Shambhala community and via Mipham Mukpo. I am sorry that I helped this organization to continue it’s cover up and silencing via my financial contributions and volunteer time. I am sorry the Sakyong will not make an actual public apology for the harm he has done and the confusion he has caused.
For all who have been in pain due to the way they were mistreated and for those who are now in mourning for the community they thought they had, my love and condolences to you. I hope there can be healing.
Mary Schroeder says:
February 8, 2019 at 3:50 pm
I am so glad that the perspective of “#metoo” has come to Shambhala, where it has been sorely needed. It is sickening to think of how women’s vulnerability and trust has been exploited by sexual predators within this organization. As with other organizations that have dealt with this issue, it is very important to look at those accountable, including SMR and others, to determine whether it is appropriate for them to continue in their current positions. Perhaps this is a time to reimagine Shambhala.
Tom Joyce says:
February 8, 2019 at 3:51 pm
Because I was mostly on the periphery of the Shambhala organization, I had no idea what was going on, other than an occasional “affair”—usually between a young woman and an older male teacher—which I assumed was consensual. I should never have assumed anything! When I first read the Sakyong’s initial admission of having had inappropriate “relationships,” I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I realize now that this was hurtful to those women who had been marginalized, victimized and used by the Sakyong and his power-elite for whatever reason. I am very sorry for any pain my misplaced trust may have caused. All I can say is that I did speak up when I saw things that disturbed me in Shambhala (i.e.: Chögyam Trungpa’s outrageous drunkenness in videos and the preening, sycophantic loyalty of the kasung—of which I was one—for “His Majesty.” I don’t know if Shambhala can—or should—survive as an organization, but I will continue to speak out against this destructive fiction of monarchy and systemic abuse as long as my voice is not silenced. Thanks to all who bravely came forward to speak their truth. Thanks to those who finally listened.
JOF says:
February 8, 2019 at 4:58 pm
Laying a big bouquet of roses at Julia’s feet. And Leslie Hays’.
Elisabeth Hazell says:
February 8, 2019 at 5:13 pm
I am so sorry that I didn’t know what to do when you told me. I am so sorry that this continues to be handled with such inteptitude. I am open to learning more about what I can do and I promise to bear my burden in changing this system, which should not have to fall to the survivors alone. Your bravery is to be commended and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Gerlinda Grimes says:
February 8, 2019 at 5:25 pm
I believe you. I’m sorry I contributed my money and time to an organization that prioritized its abusive leaders over you, over your truth. I’m especially sorry and ashamed that when I coordinated a level just as the news was breaking, I took a participant who had questions to the program director, a long time Vadryana practitioner, rather than offering my own perspective. I didn’t want to “overstep.” I lacked the courage of my own wisdom.
Elizabeth Batiuk says:
February 8, 2019 at 5:41 pm
Thank you for speaking up, sharing the difficult truth of your experience, and for shedding light on the harm that has been happening. I am beyond regret for the trauma that you have been through. I honor you for your fearlessness and for being your own true witness. I hope you find the solace, acceptance, connection, and appreciation that reflects the true compassion and wisdom that you are. I promise to believe and serve survivors in the process of healing from the harm of sexual misconduct and from the harm inflicted by those who are complicit in allowing it to continue. May you be happy and free.
Apriel JessupSearcy says:
February 8, 2019 at 6:20 pm
In deepest gratitude for your voices, your courage, your stength! Through your willingness to be the voices and the faces for those who have endured harm within our community. We are indebted to you for coming forward and being the stimulus for change. I am sorry for the pain, mistrust, and trauma you have endured. Know you have my love and support. May you find healing, peace, and sanity through the chaos.
heartbroken in halifax says:
February 8, 2019 at 6:35 pm
How can we help you? To the women who have been harmed: we believe you; we are sorry; we deeply regret any unwitting part we have played – ignorance is not an excuse.
Feeling complicit is another shock to us, along with many.
Many of us ‘still in’ feel betrayed by this teacher and the trust we had in him.
We wish you could have seen so many of us – women and men – speak out forcefully in many community meetings that we had no reason not to believe you.
We demanded to know what was being done to support you, and what changes were being made to make sure this never happened again.
We are deeply sorry for the pain that our teacher has caused you. That we have caused you.
Many of us who have wanted to reach out with our care and support but were reluctant to step into the FB fray, and are grateful for this forum.
We feel heartbroken.
You may strongly disagree with us for not walking away.
Yes, it seems that would be the right and only thing for any person with intelligence and integrity to do.
You may say that if we don’t leave then we are still complicit.
I hope you will hear that there are so many good people struggling at all levels in the community, questioning everything and every one. And working hard for real change.
Shocked, outraged, saddened – please know that there are many of us with our eyes now wide open, committed to assuring ‘never again’ and working to see if something worthwhile can be salvaged .
We need to hold the Sakyong accountable, and report to the authorities immediately anyone else who has harmed others.
We need to honour and respect each other. We need to get back to our Buddhist roots. We need to look deeply into the teachings and salvage what is true and good.
Deconstruction before reconstruction.
And for that cleansing fire, we thank the emotional bravery of all you women, heard and unheard.
Take care.
Please forgive me for not adding my name to this …
Nancy Ann Floy claimant #3 says:
February 8, 2019 at 6:40 pm
I am so terribly sorry for every woman girl man and boy who has been abused at the hand of MM and all of the other members of shambhala. You are not alone and it was not your fault and I believe you. I believe you. I am so terribly sorry for the ways that I have participated in this sick system and for not speaking up years ago. I am so sorry for running away instead of standing my ground and saying THIS IS NOT OK. I am so sorry for your pain for your shame for your self hated for your self injury. I am so sorry that you have lost your faith and your health. I am so sorry that you were ghosted by MM and that I did not reach out to you when you were gone. You survivors are goddess warriors. You are my Sheros and Heros and I bow down in the face of your courage your tenacity and your will to carry on. I love each one of you with all of my heart. Those who have come forward and those who are still in silence. I love you and you are never ever alone. You are a precious child of the Buddha and nothing can ever touch or tarnish your buddhanature. You are brilliant blazing pure crystal shimmering light. Never ever doubt this truth of who you are.
Larry Akey says:
February 8, 2019 at 6:55 pm
I’m sorry that all of the sexual predators in shambhala perverted the sacred trust that all of the students had in the dharma. I applaud those survivors who have already come forward and to those who don’t yet feel safe to come forward I wish you healing. I am so sad for all of this. I am so heart broken for all the survivors who had to go thru it
Jackie Blagsvedt says:
February 8, 2019 at 7:11 pm
To the survivors who have come forward. You are beyond brave. Thank you for being the whistleblowers. I’m sorry that you weren’t met with warmth and caring concern. May you be blessed and surrounded by skillful car providers who can accompany you on your path toward healing. I was sexually abused by my own step-father as a little girl. Don’t blame yourself for not understanding what was happening. It’s not your fault. The Sangha should have protected you. My community that knew my abuser’s history should have protected me and my sisters.
Sangye Choga Martin says:
February 8, 2019 at 7:19 pm
I am a survivor of long term sexual and emotional abuse outside and inside the Shambhala organization. I also held a leadership position during a period when the organization closed ranks around a victim. I was complicit in believing leadership narrative. That they had locally offered support. They characterized her as mentally ill and ensured me nothing had happened. I diverted further correspondence to an email address set up by Shambhala to record her activity for legal purposes. It was a community wide instruction I followed.
I’m embarrassed by my gullibility and ashamed of my ignorance.
Dori says:
February 8, 2019 at 7:31 pm
I regret any harm that was caused through my bystanding or silent witnessing of harms within Shambhala. While I believed that my decades of practice, study, teaching, and leadership were for the benefit of others, I ignored clear evidence that elements within the culture of Shambhala tolerated, perpetrated, and hid the acts of sexual violence that occurred. May survivors find peace and justice, may those complicit in harm tell their truth and be held accountable, and may the leaders who caused harm, including Mipham J. Mukpo, be removed from office and brought to justice.
Robin Ann says:
February 8, 2019 at 7:42 pm
I am so very sorry that on my very limited practice at Karme Chöling I did not call bullshit on the “teachings” about “ruling your world” and the perception of right and wrong, basic moral and ethical principles as somehow delusional. I should have done so, especially as an “outsider” even though, at the time, my gut was telling me that it wasn’t safe to do so. I might possibly have prevented done harm or at least named the crazy non-wisdom out loud.
Michael Stephens says:
February 8, 2019 at 7:45 pm
I greatly appreciate that a venue has been created that we all can express ourselves in this way. It’s very moving to read all these statements. As for me, I am so sorry to have participated for so many years and done so little to make sure Shambhala was a safe and genuinely inclusive environment. In my recent times, I naively thought things were at least OK, but I am very sorry that I did not do more to understand. I did not challenge the things that were going on in various parts of our society, especially in the environment around Mipham Mukpo. It breaks my heart to hear of all the physical and emotional abuse that was happening. Now that I do know, I cannot sit idly by any more. I wish for the survivors to know they are supported, and for real truth can finally come out.
Nelleke Strik says:
February 8, 2019 at 8:41 pm
I am deeply sorry for the harm that many people have suffered in Shambhala and I feel ashamed of the letter from the ‘Sakyong’ this week as well as his previous communications. I admire the courage of those who have spoken up. I support you all and send love and wishes for healing.
Frances Morris says:
February 8, 2019 at 9:08 pm
If I had known of the sickness and depravity of the community I was part of from 1978-2010, I know that I would have spoken up. I do not fear telling the truth. Unfortunately, I had no idea that people were being abused, sexually, emotionally and psychologically. I am now revolted by what has been revealed and wish I had never heard of Vajradhatu or Shambhala. I hope that all the survivors understand that we, the truth seekers, support them each and every one. I pray that there is justice coming to the perpetrators so that they never have a moment’s peace until there is reparation. As for the enablers, may they see how little compassion and bravery they have, and may they realize what hypocrites they really are!!
Damcho Palmo says:
February 8, 2019 at 9:14 pm
I am sorry that for so many years I made excuses to myself for things that I saw and heard about that didn’t seem right.
I am grateful to all of the survivors who have stepped up and spoken out.
And to everyone who didn’t for their own reasons .
Allya Francesca Canepa says:
February 8, 2019 at 9:32 pm
K. Chokyi says:
February 8, 2019 at 9:44 pm
I’m so sorry. I continue to be sorry. I have been open about my own trauma and worked with sexual trauma survivors since my first Courage to Heal workshop in 1988. And still I gave my money, my energy, and my recommendation to others to check out this misguided, abusive power structure. Worst of all, even when things triggered my survivor sense, I said nothing.
I got caught up in the meditation teacher social media moguls – best selling authors with large internet followings who claimed Shambhala heritage/credential and I kept their stars in my eyes while I said nothing.
I saw the way “advanced students” (Level III and up) demeaned new people (“Oh you level ones are so cute. I remember then…”) and then assert their power in sexual and emotional ways over them. It creeped me out. I protected myself. But, I said nothing.
I bought into the whole “Dharma Brat” syndrome – “he was raised as a Buddhist, he knows this stuff” – bought the books, paid for the seminars, and even though I saw the sexual immaturity and opportunistic overtures I called it “sweetly naïve” and “too spiritually focused to realize crude sexual allusions are not appropriate – he just thinks he’s being edgy.” I said nothing.
In fact, even now, I watch Lodro Rinzler, walk away from allegations of sexual misconduct without saying ONE. WORD. of accountability, and start selling his own meditation program – like his actions as a teacher didn’t matter -and still using his Shambhala credentialed “authority” to draw in more women – and I just shrug it off – and I say nothing. Sweeping this precious dharma son of Shambhala under the rug, no one is holding him accountable to his sexual misconduct, not even me. I am sorry I do not stand up. I am sorry I don’t really even know how.
I was world wise enough to steer clear of danger to myself sexually, then let my brothers and sisters walk through that flood without even bothering to yell “The bridge is out. It is not safe.” In my silence, in my ego, in my need to be accepted, I let you all down. I am sorry, and I sit nightly in the hope your healing will be powerful, swift, and soon.
Jessica Martin says:
February 8, 2019 at 9:45 pm
I am sorry to all those harmed, ignored, not believed, or hurt in any way. You did not deserve this. You came to this community with the best of intentions and trusted those around you. You were taken advantage of and we hear you, we see you, and we acknowledge your strength.
I’m sorry I invited people to this organization and encouraged others to participate even if they were feeling uncomfortable.
I’m sorry I didn’t trust myself, my heart, and my gut.
And I’m sorry we were not there when you needed us.
M Jane Ross says:
February 9, 2019 at 12:43 am
I am so deeply sorry for your pain, for all the hurt and loneliness, the sense of abandonment and loss of faith, the self-doubt and the distrust of others that you have endured. Having been through the hell of abuse of power, I stand beside you, thanking you for holding on for this moment, when bystanders and enablers step forward and accept their complicity and express their genuine remorse and heartfelt wish to make amends. When we who are allies speak up to honor you. May genuine amends be made by those who failed you, and may those amends reach you where you live, in healing and life-affirming ways.
I thank all who came forward with your truth, both the whistleblowers and the report writers, for your courage in speaking truth to corrupt power. You have done this for all of us in the wider Buddhist sangha. You have given us hope that abuse will be called out, that corrupt hierarchies and self-serving leaders will be unmasked, that remorse, care, and amends will flow to those who have been harmed and abandoned. That those who have harmed and those who have enabled harm will fully understand it is their duty to make things right, that they too may find healing from the knowledge that they have betrayed the Buddha’s cardinal Precept of non-harming.
May the heartfelt apologies and healing wishes expressed here be a stepping stone to profound healing. This is my wish for you who have been harmed, by the acts and failures to act of the Buddhist community as a whole, by us all.
Sergio garfagnoli says:
February 9, 2019 at 12:53 am
To confess wrong withaut losing rightness:
Charity I have had sometimes,
I connot make It flow thru.
A Little, likes a rushlight
To leader back to splendour.
(Ezra Paund)
Arnold Leiter says:
February 9, 2019 at 3:16 am
Sorry!
Tsultrim Pamo says:
February 9, 2019 at 5:15 am
Verse of Atonement:
All evil karma ever committed by me since of old
On account of my beginningless greed, anger and ignorance Born of my body, mouth and thought
Now I atone for it all (x 3)
Tommy says:
February 9, 2019 at 5:16 am
I am so sorry. I’m sorry for supporting a system that allowed abuse at the highest levels. I’m sorry for ignoring the risky elements of this spiritual model, telling myself that my local sangha was all that really mattered. (“There’s no corruption or misbehavior here in my sangha, so as long as I stay in my own backyard, I’m not too concerned about what goes on elsewhere…”). It’s a poisonous belief system that leads to allowing, either through ignorance or negligence, unchecked harm to be perpetrated on those who trust leaders that are, sadly, not worthy of such trust.
I am sorry for the victims of SMR and leadership’s behavior and all of the occasions that Basic Goodness and Inherent Dignity were marginalized for the sake of power and pleasure. I am sorry that I unwittingly supported that. I had no idea. And I’m sorry that, now that I do have an idea, that I sit in confusion and anguish myself, uncertain of whether to abandon a broken spiritual model or to try and stay to help rebuild it as one anchored in accountability. I’m sorry that I’m not farther along on my spiritual path so that the answers are not more evident.
I hope those who have been harmed can continue to find the truths of the Three Jewels in a community that values their courage, their dignity, and their right to protect their bodies and minds. I hope all of us can find the courage to speak up about what we feel about callous behavior, dangerous power dynamics, and situations that put the well being of others or ourselves at risk.
I am truly sorry for the survivors of this abusive power and callous behavior. I am sorry for our sangha at large, the Shambhala community, for being pulled into confusion and a divisive dialogue about our future, and I’m sorry this system created a power dynamic that doled out privilege at the cost of peace.
May the truth of our path forward, be it within or without Shambhala as we know it, be illuminated.
"Valkyrie" says:
February 9, 2019 at 5:42 am
Some are still blind. My meditation teacher who has been in Shambhala for 40 years both in the US and UK told me of a spiritual leader giving talks sitting up in bed naked while playing with the children. He was amused recounting it. I felt queasy listening to this. To him it’s just part of it. He laughs recalling drunkenness and womanising of Shambhala leaders yet insists that the Dharma that was transmitted was pure. I think he could contribute to the investigation but is keeping quiet. His loyalty runs deep.
བློ་གྲོས་བྱམས་པ་ says:
February 9, 2019 at 6:43 am
Changsem Gao says:
February 9, 2019 at 6:46 am
Christine Labich says:
February 9, 2019 at 7:19 am
I am most profoundly sorry for the ways that your natural openness, trust, and longing to be of service to the world were abused and taken advantage of. We as a community should have protected you, listened to you, and been clear-eyed and brave enough to call for accountability at all levels. I apologize personally for the ways I continued to support a harmful culture, despite the fact that the ways my own probing and questioning was deflected set off alarm bells.
Even at a distance from what has happened directly to you, this process of trying to distinguish what is happening is extremely painful. I can only imagine it must be a million-fold more painful to stand in the center of it all. I thank you for your courage, practice, and compassion, and may the deep knowledge that you are loved and full of wisdom abide in your heart always.
Sherap Seng ge says:
February 9, 2019 at 8:41 am
I am sorry for my complicity in supporting the organization that harmed you.
I always felt like something wasn’t right, and yet I stayed.
Stephanie DiLorio says:
February 9, 2019 at 9:54 am
You are brilliant and beautiful, worthy of love and protection. I wish Shambhala had been a safe place. It should have been. I am sorry it wasn’t. I wish that your community and teachers had believed you. I wish they had provided care to you. I believe you. I care about your healing. I am holding you in my heart and practice.
Renate says:
February 9, 2019 at 10:54 am
I’ve been so naïve. I’m so sorry that I prioritized “peace” and tried to come up with a reason, any reason, to explain any “misunderstanding” away. I’m so sorry that it took me so long to recognize what I was doing, that I was brushing away any feelings of unease and thereby brushing away any possibility for hearing you. I should have been there for you, should have been there with you, and instead I spent too much mental energy thinking “maybe he didn’t know what he was doing?”. I spent too long waiting for the moment where Crazy Wisdom behaviours would start to make sense. After all, it was promised to us. Stick around long enough, and you’ll gain the secret understanding of why things aren’t what they seem to those “outsiders”. It’s disgusting when I think back on it now. I’m ashamed that it took me this long to see the ways in which the organization habitually protects itself. I thought for a time I could work to fix it, but I was not strong enough. To all survivors, to all those who refused to be beguiled, I thank you for saving me.
Bob Kucera; Sherab Dorje says:
February 9, 2019 at 11:02 am
Katie Getchell says:
February 9, 2019 at 11:13 am
Thank you so much for your courage in breaking the silence, especially when faced with so much marginalization, minimization and ostracism.
I’m so sorry for your suffering. I’m sorry the very community that was your refuge negated your reality, and I’m sorry for any of the ways I was part of that.
I’m sorry that, for years, I suppressed my raw intuition and understanding of the world, and relied on a theocratic, disembodied, flawed path, and so became incurious & untrusting of the real inner lives and experiences of others.
I deeply regret censoring myself & withholding the genuine expressions of my heart when our “religion” came into conflict with my perceptions & innate knowing. I’m sorry for this obstacle to honest conversation, growth, and healing.
I deeply regret that I kept my mouth closed because I thought it was impolite to disparage anything about “the lineage.”
I deeply regret believing that a spiritual path is Off Limits for critique, and therefore that I added to the layers of obfuscation and confusion.
I deeply regret believing that members of the dharma hierarchy were beyond reproach.
I apologize for the walls this created between us and for the stupid reinforcement of power structure that I bought into.
I’m sorry that I believed that all the secrecy and ritual was inherently special and valuable, magical and beneficial, pure and safe. I’m sorry that I didn’t see that they actually create the ideal conditions for abuse & deception.
I’m sorry for any way that my participation, and my encouragement that others participate, perpetuated this damage that has hurt you. I’m sorry that for so long things didn’t feel right but that I didn’t articulate what I knew.
I apologize for judging my own life through the lens of (insufficient) devotion, surrender, discipline and broken samaya; and therefore projecting this cloud of misunderstanding onto others.
I believe you, and I promise to speak now and to support you.
Elizabeth Sawyer says:
February 9, 2019 at 11:30 am
Gratitude to all who have had the courage to apologize to those who have been harmed. For outing y/ourselves. To those who have been gaslighted, shunned, minimized, labeled as mentally ill, liars, and trouble makers. I have been on both sides. Both harmed and complicit. I am not from Shambala but I was aware that Chögyam Trungpa is literally the father of this abusive behavior. We must look in the mirror as Buddhist practitioners and ask ourselves what we are attracted to and why we will go along with abuse. Why we will stay and perpetuate the abuses in one form or another.
Michelle McPherson says:
February 9, 2019 at 11:30 am
I was horrified when I heard about the abuse you experienced from MM and other teachers and meditation instructors in Shambhala. You should have been safe, honoured, and valued by every member of the community. To know that you were ignored, belittled, shunned, and re-triggered by all the non-apologies and victim blaming in the sangha is heartbreaking. I am so sorry that I didn’t question the “nobody was ever hurt” historical storyline or trust my gut feeling that the concentration of power in the Court was dangerous. I’m sorry I accepted the “hippies will be hippies” excuses for the thread of sexual indecency and abusive behaviour that pervades the community. Please know that I am in awe of your courage and resilience, and that I was grateful to see clearly that it was time for me to leave Shambhala. But I wish that clarity had not come at your expense. Sending so much love and gratitude to you. I hope you are now surrounded by caring, loving people.
Andy Rose says:
February 9, 2019 at 11:47 am
Shulamit says:
February 9, 2019 at 11:48 am
I am deeply sorry that I gave my time, money, service and devotion to an organization and a man who are deeply deluded. I am so sorry for the heartache and pain of those who were exploited and harmed by Osel Mukpo, who I am convinced is a deeply damaged person and a true narcissist. I am sorry that none of the leadership in Shambhala has had the courage to step down and publicly denounce a culture of delusion, misogyny and abuse. It truly sickens me that good people are too invested in the brand of Shambhala to be able to think for themselves and see that what they’re invested in is led by a fraud, and not an enlightened leader who cares for them in any way. I am sorry for the many many more women who were exploited by Osel Mukpo and others who still feel too vulnerable to step forward.
