Letter from Allen Ginsberg to WS Merwin
March 10, 1979
Dear Bill and Dana:
As you may know an article appeared in Harpers lately "Spiritual Obedience" discussing Trungpa Naropa Vajrayana and in disguised form using odd initials your disagreement with Trungpa at the 75 Seminary. It drew on the Sanders class report. Following that an article in Boulder Camera appeared using your names, rebuking Trungpa for public drunkeness. Several weeks ago Tom Clark -- who had made a kind of heroic interview with me in Paris Review thirteen years ago -- asked me to sit with him for an interview on the subject -- "the Merwin incident" and the Harpers piece. I was hesitant since I've tried to avoid talking publicly on the whole matter for many reasons including my own paranoia, the delicacy of the subject, divided loyalties, unwillingness to subject either Trungpa or yourself to the vulgarity of my own loudmouth on the situation whereat I wasn't present & was still uncertain as to the details and their significance. However Tom is an old friend and poet, he came with Ed Dorn whom I've known since 1955, and whatever might be done as an interview, I would have felt like a creep not talking to them as poet companions, since we never discussed the matter at intimate length and they were troubled by it and probably by my ambiguous attitude. I said I thought the matter was too delicate to deal with except very gently, should be done with long consideration, and in any case, since the Harpers article used odd initials, we should follow the same format, and also not rush it into print, -- I was leaving for a week in NY & wanted a chance to read and correct transcription. Tom said his magazine was in a Rush, I said this shouldnt be treated so hastily; if he found himself pressured, at least show the text to Anne Waldman. However I basically trusted his judgement & that of Ed Dorn, so we talked for several hours, recording probably 2/3 the conversation.
I later became apprehensive & spooked when I returned from NY, since I learned that the Boulder magazine was going to print my conversation/interview with Tom & Ed Dorn along with a chapter of the Sanders Report, and I couldn't reach Tom Clark to get a copy of the transcript, and it hadn't been shown to Anne. A copy was finally delivered to my door, I reedited it & corrected transcript, & brought it back in a day to the Boulder Magazine office with a note saying that I thought you should be consulted before your name was bandied about so in public, I wasn't sure the magazine, or Sanders, had checked with you as to your wishes before publishing their 'investigation'. Al Santoli had been canvassing the class in vote on publication and I'd asked him to contact you for your own permission or advice before proceeding.
When I finally met Tom at the Boulder Magazine office I found printed copies of the magazine with portions of Sanders report and my own text printed, already in distribution. I was freaked out & yelled at Tom, thinking he'd betrayed my trust & purposely got me in hot water. My main worry was that indiscreet put downs of your poetry, hyperbolic fantasies of Buddhist fascism, low grade gossippy opinions about scenes where I wasn't present, distorted paraphrases of conversations with Trungpa, inaccurate conversational references to Burroughs as murderer & Corso as total dope fiend, on top of mis-transcriptions of phrase would not only reveal my own basic hypocracy but also confuse the public issue (if there was one) with my unedited private & hysteric or irritable conversation with friends; I'd thought I'd have a chance to correct the interview or Clark have the friendly common sense to edit it & clean up my solecisms.
Tom didn't edit it all himself nor transcribe everything I thought significant, so there may be some additional disproportion added to my original inanities & ill-willing frankness. Remarks comparing your poetry to Trungpa's were left in adding insult to injury to your person, & a paragraph of appreciation of your character & sensitive behavior was edited out.
I stopped yelling at Tom when I realized it was a fait-accompli irreversable, & that he thought he was doing it (aside from pressure from the magazine) as the rare bold action of an honest reporter, and that my yelling was only making the situation worse by solidifying my own and Tom's self-righteousness. I also breathed a sigh of relief, that I had hit bottom, and my own hypocracies were unmasked to fellow poets & fellow Buddhists, & that was almost a service rather than a stumbling block.
Please accept my apologies for my objectionable remarks about your writing -- ill considered even for private yatter among friends, some kind of vanity got into me there, which is not my whole mind, an irritable & nasty arrogance in me which I can't disown since I spoke it, except to acknowledge it as bad character on my part and ask your forgiveness.
I'll send under separate cover a copy of the Boulder Magazine, as well as a copy of the interview as I edited it & brought Tom Clark at his office before I knew it had been published, i.e. as I would have had the text, had it been given to me to publish as an edited revised perfected statement of my opinions. I've marked the paragraphs edited out of the published version by Tom & his editor, including the one appreciative of your public relation to Trungpa (and my own School scene.)
I also enclose a Xerox of the note I'd brought along with my edited copy to the Magazine, suggesting they consult you before publishing all that gossip. I'm still not sure whether Sanders -- who is privately publishing his book in about 1500 copies -- ever did contact you for advice, i.e. whether or not to do it & in what form and with what discretion.
My main shame is in having discussed your situation in public (re the Seminary conflict) when you've had the delicacy to leave the situation ripen on its own without aggression on your part. Of all people, I certainly owed you equal courtesy, and am humiliated to find my own vanity and meanness in print, a situation somewhat of my own making since I did sit down to talk with Tom Clark & Ed Dorn, & knew that Tom wanted the interview for his magazine. I simply didnt think to have them sign papers requiring my approval of final text, & was self decieved in thinking that Tom understood my feelings, or thought them worthy of respect for that matter. Perhaps he was right; "Drive all blames into One" is the Mahayana slogan.
Well this letter has gone far enough. Through my own ineptness the disrelation between yourself and the local Trungpa Buddhist scene has been exacerbated. Be that as it may both Tom Clark and Ed Sanders are scheduled to visit here & teach in the Poetics school this summer. Rather than allow the emotional or literary situation to fester with gossip or misunderstanding or in communication or absolutist mutual rejection or unwholesome recrimination or snakes mistook for ropes in everybody's mind, I wish you and Dana would re-visit Boulder and teach at the Kerouac School when it is possible for you, if you're willing. Not so much a matter of forgive and forget, or papering over some basic disagreement irreconcilable, as our making a mutual effort to accomodate to each other's understandings or misunderstandings, and be in a place together where we can talk in community -- in this case Naropa Buddhist oriented but free school, not Trungpa Shrine Room or Vajrayana camp. The conflict has been a great difficulty to me -- literally six months of headache illness trying to reconcile my mind -- which oddly enough the Clark interview did, making me realize that dispite my own paranoia I did trust in Trungpa's basic sanity -- dispite the fact that his Crazy Wisdom Lineage is also Mistake or Mishap lineage (i.e. learn from mistakes, alchemize shit to roses) -- And the unreconciled conflict or paranoia has I think slightly unbalanced Tom Clark & Ed Sanders as well as myself -- So that it's occurred to me often (as well as others, Anne Waldman & Billy McKeever who's now executive Officer i.e. manager of administration at Naropa) to ask you to visit here & help break through the fear, hesitation, ideologic gossip & anxiety that smogs the Poetics school. Basically the school is stable & brilliant & the summer coming probably be the ripest; I am here half year this year teaching Blake's prophetic Books line by line (now finished with Lambeth books to 1795 & beginning on Urizen -- a project that will take 2 years to complete with students here); and I'll be teaching 9 months next year, -- since we're accredited, effort's necessary to build infant school bones. So I'm even more committed than before to trying to interrelate meditation & poetics for the long range health & glory & practical usefulness of both in America. I know you have deep grievance, and if my own anxiety is any measure of yours it must be an awful anchor drag. Or perhaps not, I remember you said you never wanted to see Trungpa again, tho you'd learned some thing from him at first. Still the basic humane as well as traditional Bodhisattva attitude is never cut off completely from any sentient being asking help or teaching. So with great respect I'm asking you to help me, and the Kerouac School, and the US Buddhist community of poets & gossips, by visiting here, teaching or reading, talking to poetry students and fellow Buddhists, & help attempt to uncoil the snake & find the rope, if there is one, which I think we can do. I dont think it means anybody -- yourself, Dana or Trungpa -- need compromise any basic principle or betray any Absolute regulation. It means, for myself, letting go of conceptions, & solidifications of thought (as I had to to stop yelling at Tom Clark & let the situation be as it is unjudged & unprejudiced by my own resentment at having been found out, so I thought) -- letting go of Painful Interpretation & trying to approach our whole mutual relationship fresh & new. Otherwise I'm caught, and maybe you maybe not I only know my own experience, in past causes and effects as seen in the past unchanged still somewhat a bummer to outsiders & ourselves.
Please let me hear from you, I hope this letter reaches you soon, let me know your reaction to the Boulder Magazine & if you have words of rebuke to me for my own behavior or speech please frankly lay them on me I am both bewildered and tranquil enough to listen.
As ever
Allen Ginsberg
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Dear Bill & Dana:
Hope you can make it to Boulder some time. The Health Food stores are Blooming here. Send us some new poems. I'll send you my first book Clean Asshole Poems & Smileing Vegetable Songs. We have been chewing tea spoon of Bee Pollen a day, said to be a supper Health Food having all the 22 elements in the Human body.
Fresh apple Juice w/ comfrey Tea To you
Love -- Peter Orlovsky