First Thought Best Thought, 108 Poems, by Chogyam Trungpa

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THE DOHA OF CONFIDENCE (SAD SONG OF THE FOUR REMEMBRANCES)



As I look constantly to the Great Eastern Sun,
Remembering the only father guru,
Overwhelming devotion blazes like a bonfire--
I, Chokyi Gyatso, remain alone.

Having been abandoned by my heart friends,
Though my feverish mind feels great longing,
It is joyful that I am sustained by this great confidence
Of the only father guru and the Great Eastern Sun.

Having seen the beauty of a mist covering the mountain,
The pines moving gently in the wind,
The firm power of rock-hard earth,
I am constantly reminded of the splendor and beauty
Of the only father guru and the Great Eastern Sun.

Wild flowers extend everywhere
On mountain meadows filled with the sweet smell of fragrant herbs.
Seeing the gentle deer frolicking from place to place,
I constantly remember the compassion and gentleness
Of the only father guru and the Great Eastern Sun.

Fighting enemies in the chasm of-love and hate,
Having sharpened the weapon's point of joy and sorrow, hope and
fear,
Seeing again and again these cowardly hordes,
I take refuge in the sole confidence
Of the only father guru and the Great Eastern Sun.

Fatherless, always dwelling in foreign lands,
Motherless, not hearing the speech of my own country,
Friendless, tears not quenching my thirst,
Remembering the warriors of the father and mother lineages,
I live alone in the sole blessing
Of the only father guru and the Great Eastern Sun.

25 July 1978

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BON VOYAGE

Bon Voyage.
You go away.
You go away with doves and rhododendrons.
You fade away in the memory that is part of the blue sky.
You will be forgotten with ashes of burning cigarettes,
As if fossils never formed in the prehistoric age.
Happy birthday to you.
You fade away in my life.

27 November 1978

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MEMORIAL IN VERSE

This year of building the kingdom:
Dealing with the four seasons,
Studying how millet grows
And how the birds form their eggs;
Interested in studying how Tampax are made,
And how furniture can be gold-leafed;
Studying the construction of my home,
How the whitewash of the plain wood can be dignified,
How we could develop terry cloth on our floor,
How my dapons can shoot accurately,
How my financiers can rush themselves into neurosis,
How the Board session can arrive at pragmatic decisions.
Oh, I have watched the sky grow old and the trees become younger as the seasons changed.
I have experienced the crisp air of December and January becoming a landmark of my life
As twenty grey hairs grow on my head.
I have witnessed that I have grown older and old,
As I grasp the scepters and handle the rice heaps, performing ceremonies.
I have thought I have also grown younger every day,
Taking showers, looking at myself in the mirror--
Perky and willing, I see myself:
That my lips don't quiver and my jaws are strong,
And my gaze is accurate.
When I think of this year, the most memorable occasion is the explosion of love affair,
Which was no joke;
It is true, I think of that every day
When I take my medicine for my good health, as prescribed by the physicians,
I think of my love affair as I wipe my bottom
Sitting on the toilet:
One appreciates that yellow dye sitting on white paper
As it flushes down the efficient American plumbing system.
One of this year's highlights is also that I failed and accomplished a lot:
The failure is mine,
The accomplishment is to my Regent.
Sometimes I think of the Ganges and Brahmaputra, or the Yellow River;
I could shed many tears.
And I think of the glaciers of Mt. Everest;
I could become solid, steady and stern--
I have developed the face of a frozen glacier.
So my life comes and goes in the same way the swallows sway back and forth in the air:
They may catch flies or they may not.
I have developed jurisdiction and fair constitution,
I have told the truth of the Great Eastern Sun vision from my moldy lips,
I have experienced certainty within uncertainty
Because one realizes the traffic of ants does not have traffic lights
And it is hard to give them speeding tickets.
My journey grows and shrinks.
However, the wicked will tremble and the awakened will rejoice.
I have fought, ambushed, raped, attacked, nursed, abused, cultivated, fed, nourished, hospitalized by world
With its world-ees.
Now I have grown very young and very old.
I appreciate the sun and moon, snow and rain, clouds, and deep blue sky;
I appreciate the ruggedness and the beauty of the universe,
Which is sometimes cruel, developing sharp thorns of the cactus plant,
And sometimes beautiful chrysanthemums of fantastic scent.
Blood or ink: both I take as yellow and purple color.

1 January 1979
Boulder, Colorado

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TO MY SON

Be fearless and consume the ocean.
Take a sword and slay neurosis.
Climb the mountains of dignity and subjugate arrogance.
Look up and down and be decent.
When you learn to cry and laugh at the same time, with a gentle heart,
All my belongings are yours,
Including your father,
Happy birthday.

19 January 1979

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FOR ANNE WALDMAN

When your blood boils,
Relax with the wind;
The wind always blows.
Play with a blade of grass;
The truth will always be told.

7 March 1979

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PUTTING UP WITH THE TRANS-CANADA

The yearning Lake of Louise is imprisoned by her own ice;
The proud ranges of the Rockies are undermined by the bad weather;
An occasional avalanche protests from the glaciers.
But I am impressed that there is no outrage or complaint.
The trees and moss become very polite
And you can hear them talking to each other in hush hush, saying, "Don't interrupt the mountains or the lake."
However, holiday-makers of the winter and the spring couldn't care less
About such diplomacy taking place between the mountains and the trees.
Japanese come a long way from Japan
And the locals intrude their weekends,
Taking advantage of the highway belt that cuts through the mountains,
Roaring with their motorized vehicles.
But the Canadian Rockies and the Canadian lakes are so naive and stupid.
Supposing they heard the boom of prajna--
The Rockies might dissolve into sand dunes.
Let us not take a chance.
But, on the other hand, it is very tempting.

24 May 1970
Lake Louise, Alberta, Canada

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BUDDHISM IN THE CANADIAN ROCKIES

With the walk of an elephant, the peacock's dance occurred;
With the gait of a jackal, the snake coils;
With the bark of a dog, a fleabite occurred.
Seeing the flower in the sky,
Experiencing blue sky,
We are never intimidated by the world of yes and no.
Tangerines are said to be good to eat,
Kumquats are cute;
However, we drink nectar without salt or sugar.
Go away, children of mud, disperse.
Don't look upon me as your playmate;
I have no desire to have a mud bath.
Roaring lion on the mountains
Parrots talking double language
Rhododendrons blooming too early because the season is unreliable--
The range of Himalayan mountains can dissolve with the Vajrayana
magic;
All the oceans in the universe can dry up hearing the fantastic
Vajrayana proclamation.
Children, children, don't be afraid;
Come along and join us:
As has been said, "Gathering nuts in May."
We will celebrate and cherish our heritage.
Infants that do not need bottles or nappies,
We go along to the archery range
To see the whistling arrows that sometimes hit and sometimes miss
the target.
The impossibility of the possible can be achieved
At the archery ground of the playground.
Thick and grey clouds of rain and storm,
Desolate mountains which roar with avalanches
Solitary hotel stands in the midst of nowhere,
Swarmed with holiday-makers with their multicolored outfits and
seeming limps,
Armed with cameras, uniformed with sunshades,
Complaining, "Where is the Lake Louise?"
Much to their own surprise,
Since they couldn't find delight anywhere, let alone in the Chateau
or the lake.
Canadian Rockies, extraordinary and blunt,
Decorated with snow caps and mist,
Proclaiming their dubious status range after range,
As if there were many weddings, but the couples never ate the cake;
As if there were many birthday celebrations, but the party is never
finished,
Ironic sensationalism of the Canadian Rockies,
Young and blunt, treacherous but keen:
Shaggy reindeer descending along with mountain goats,
Feasting themselves on the garbage of the towns of Field or Banff--
As long as they are protected by the so-called national parksmanship,
they are not hunted,
But at the same time they display subhuman immigrant greasy hair
and tarred hooves.
Sun and moon shone simultaneously in the Canadian Rockies,
But I never saw them cheering up;
In fact, they usually cry along with the mist and clouds,
Wiping their tears with the local dust,
Somebody planted toothpick trees:
They grew and got older, decorated with little thorns and cones,
Inviting the holiday-makers,
Putting up with broken bottles and empty cans,
As if they were Boy Scouts who had lost their breakfast, lunch and
dinner.
How splendid the Canadian Rockies--godless, without worshippers.
One wonders how we found ourselves in these Canadian Rockies,
Practicing meditation according to the example of Milarepa and our
lineage.
We were able to get into the cracks in the skeleton of the CP
administration;
They invited us because they had neither teeth nor veins to spare for
themselves,
Thinking we might provide guts and fat and flesh for them.
How amazing that we could accommodate the Vajrayana world in
the midst of this agitated poverty and business world.
Usually the merchants have no teeth, but they have very sharp
gums;
They have no nails, but a tight grip.
Aren't we too brave? Sometimes I wonder.
Aren't we too cowardly? Sometimes I wonder.
Between the warrior and the coward, we find our path,
As lilies and frogs who never quarreled.
I take pride in the six smiles of the tiger
In this cuckooless world of North American atmosphere.
Spring never comes here, but autumn might be good;
In spite of the summer, we still take pleasure in the overwhelming
winter:
It is a good time to practice.

24 May 1979

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PRAISE TO THE LADY OF THE BIG HEART (FOR LILA RICH)

Immeasurable space with primordial smile
Manifesting delight and beauty:
I appreciate your painful pleasure,
Our mutual humor, mutual passion, mutual goodness,
Together we ride in the windhorse
With your elegant laughter echoing in all directions,
Even in the midst of a nightmare
Your companionship, your genuine look, cause us to share our burdens together.
The great lady of the court, tireless, limitless--
I love your big heart.
I will be with you in life or death,
Along with your husband.
Cheerful birthday!

21 August 1979

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NOT DECEIVING THE EARTH (AND M.S.N.)

In protecting the earth, we found good pine needles and harsh dried
wood along with rocks helpful.
When you begin to examine our earth,
You find tiny mushrooms and small grass blades,
Ornamented by the chatter of ground squirrels.
You find our soil is soft and rocky;
It does not permit artificial soil topping.
Our pine trees are diligent, dedicated and graceful;
In either life or death they will always perform their duty of
pinetreeness,
Equipped with sap and bark.
We find our world of wilderness so refreshing.
Along with summer's drum, we produce occasional thundershowers,
wet and dry messages:
We can't miss the point,
Since this earth is so bending and open to us, along with the rocks,
We are not shy,
We are so proud--
We can make a wound in a pine tree and it bleeds sap, and courts us,
in spite of the setting-sun shadow;
They bend and serve so graciously, whether dead or alive.
We love our pines and rocks;
They are not covered with the superstitious setting-sun chemical manure of this and that.
We are so proud of the sky that we produce on our horizon.
Our stars twinkle and wink as if they know us;
We have no problem of recognition.
Our rocks and pine trees speak for us.
I love this soil--dusty, sandy, good, and free from astroturf:
Good earth, good grass, good pine tree, good Newton
So good.
We love them all.
With them, we could bring about the Great Eastern Sun vision.

27 August 1979
Rocky Mountain Dharma Center

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DRUNKEN ELEPHANT

Drunken elephant--
Catching mirage by net;
In the mirror of my mind I comb my hair
With the brush of samsaric absurdity.

1979