[The Arab] La-li-la-la-Mohammed ...
You're just the cat I wanted to see, man.
I was looking ...
all around for you, Jim.
Do you know what, man? Like, I'm tired,
I'm fed up. I can't take no more.
I can't stand no more of Putney Swope, man. Like, he's got to go, man. 'Cause this cat is a jive cat, you understand? You know what, man?
Like, I have been drubbin' his old lady. Do you dig this? And this cat has never said nuttin' to me, man. I have called him out many-a-times in front of all the people around here who kiss this cat's ass, man.
I don't kiss his ass, 'cause I call it like it is, man. This man caught me with his woman, and still this cat can't get rid of me, because I got the power, you understand?
I got the power, I got the talent, and I got everything that this cat wants. He keeps me around here because I make him look good. Do you understand? And I'm tired of making this cat look good.
[Man in White Suit] Are you ready to die?
[The Arab] Man, I'm ready to die, I'm ready to go anywhere ...
do anything, see anybody ...
walk, talk, smart ...
be anything to do what I got to do, man. Dying means nothing to me, man. You know, I just wanted to get things straight around here, man, because Putney Swope is a giant cat man.
He can't talk; he can't walk ...
he can't sit; man, this cat can't do nothin' right. He was voted in here on a hummer.
A limited hangout is a form of deception, misdirection, or coverup often associated with intelligence agencies involving a release or "mea culpa" type of confession of only part of a set of previously hidden sensitive information, that establishes credibility for the one releasing the information who by the very act of confession appears to be "coming clean" and acting with integrity; but in actuality by withholding key facts is protecting a deeper crime and those who could be exposed if the whole truth came out. In effect, if an array of offenses or misdeeds is suspected, this confession admits to a lesser offense while covering up the greater ones.
A limited hangout typically is a response to lower the pressure felt from inquisitive investigators pursuing clues that threaten to expose everything, and the disclosure is often combined with red herrings or propaganda elements that lead to false trails, distractions, or ideological disinformation; thus allowing covert or criminal elements to continue in their improper activities.
Victor Marchetti wrote: "A 'limited hangout' is spy jargon for a favorite and frequently used gimmick of the clandestine professionals. When their veil of secrecy is shredded and they can no longer rely on a phony cover story to misinform the public, they resort to admitting - sometimes even volunteering - some of the truth while still managing to withhold the key and damaging facts in the case. The public, however, is usually so intrigued by the new information that it never thinks to pursue the matter further."
-- Limited Hangout, by Wikipedia
[Young Exec] Mr. Swope, I'm tired of doing commercials. I want to do something more creative.
[Putney Swope] Pick up your severance pay.
[Young Exec] Why?
[Putney Swope] Did I ask you why when you said you wanted to do something more creative?
[Young Exec] No.
[Mr. Dinkleberry] I feel like an Oreo cookie!
[Exec] You look like a pile of shit!
[Throwing darts at President Abraham Lincoln]
[Secretary] [On Telephone] Are you putting me on?
[Exec] Where you been, Put?
[Putney Swope] Mecca.
[Secretary] The man says he's the president of the United States.
The man says he's President of the United States!
[Putney Swope] Yeah?!
[President of the U.S.] Putney Swope?
[Putney Swope] Yeah.
[President of the U.S.] What do you mean, "Yeah"? Be congenial. I want to extend to you my deepest congratulation. It's very, very, very important to have a boy like you in such a prominent position. It's good for me; it's good for you. And it might keep the summers cool. I like your style, Swope, so I'm going to throw some business your way.
[Putney Swope] I never chase foul balls.
[President of the U.S.] You are lot of laughs. Next time I'm up in Big Town, we'll get together and shoot up or something.
[Putney Swope] What you want, man?
[President of the U.S.] Mr. Six, the man who owns the Borman Six, is a friend of mine. Take care of him. Quick! [Hangs up]
He looks good! He'll come around.
[Mr. Borman Six] Thank you! Excellent, Mimeo!
I like the way you handle yourself on the telephone. You're nobody's fool, except perhaps mine. But I'm glad I chose you for this job. You have justified my faith in you.
However, Mimeo, there is one question: This business about shooting up in the Big Town. After all, a man in your position -- which is a rather strange position --
you have justified my confidence in having chosen such a big man for this assignment. There are, however ...
one or two points I would like to bring up. After all, I'm sure Barnum & Bailey ...
wouldn't mind having you back. So please, I suggest you be a little more careful.
Mrs. Mimeo, you play divinely! Perhaps you would like to play for me, sometime?
Nice wife you have there, Mimeo.
It would be most unfortunate, would it not, if anything should happen to her?
[President of the U.S.] Don't worry, Mr. Six. The Borman Six going to be okay! [Shakes his hand]
[Mr. Borman Six] I hope you're right, Mimeo, for your sake.
But now, we have a moment of joviality: [inaudible], you, Lucy and I sit down, we partake of a bit of gossip.
I got some good shit.
[Mrs. Mimeo] [Laughs]
[Mr. Borman Six] Tell me something, Mimeo, do you have the next Maximillian Schell album? I love rock and roll. Perhaps The Electric Pygmy.
Wolfsie, you're looking lovely as ever, my dear.
[Putney Swope] From now on, if outsiders want to talk to me, they're going to talk in my face.
No more telephones.
Too much communication.
[Mr. Bald] If you take out the phones, how are we going to conduct business?
[Putney Swope] With your head and your soul.
[Exec ] That's right!
[Mr. Bald] That's unrealistic.
[Putney Swope] If you want reality, I'm going to put you back on the street.
[Mr. O'Dinga] The dude's right. We don't need phones. I can get a message to California quicker than you can make a phone call.
[Mr. Bald] How?
[Mr. O'Dinga] The drum.
[Exec] Say, what?
[Mr. O'Dinga] The drum.
[Putney Swope] What's that?
[Mr. O'Dinga] Vibrations.
[Putney Swope] Out O'Dinga. You're finished.
[The Arab] I heard you fired Mr. O'Dinga!
[Putney Swope] How did you find out?
[The Arab] The drum.
[Gay Guy] Hey, Lopez says this place is crazy.
[The Arab] Who's Lopez?
[Gay Guy] He's in my head.
[Exec] That's right!
[Putney Swope] I've been running this tree hut just like it was run before: straight into the ground.
I've made a few innovations, but not enough. I have the feeling that there's a lot of untapped talent around here.
So beginning right now, I want each and every one of you to conceive, write, produce and execute your own campaign.
If you don't think you can come up with something new, then don't come up with nothin'.
And if you don't feel that you're the creative type, then pitch in and help somebody else with what they're doing.
[Idea Man 1] Creative juices are flowing, my main man. You've liberated my muse!
[Idea Man 2] Picture a foxy chick sitting on a park bench. The camera zooms underneath her dress, and you cut to a train coming out of a tunnel. It's a commercial for the Long Island Railroad. Like it's surreal, man, surreal.
[Putney Swope] Are you for surreal?
[Idea Man 3] I don't have any ideas, but it's good to know that if I ever do, I'll be able to try them out.
[Idea Man 4] I just came up with three names for teenage skin creams: No Blem, Squeeze-No and Face Off.
[Putney Swope] Get rid of him.
[Idea Man 5] Mr. Swope, I think we should do all our commercials in sepia.
And instead of having coffee breaks, we should have watermelon breaks.
[Putney Swope] Get rid of him, too.
[Putney's Bodyguard] Hey, here's a poem I wrote when I was in jail: Life is but a relentless journey to a path of an oncoming screeching car with headlights of boredom, a bumper of social responsibility.
[President of the U.S.] [Kisses his wife]
[Joker] Mr. President, did you hear about the woman who asked her husband to walk out to the garbage can with her? "Are you out of your mind?" replied her husband. "Not at all, replied the wife. I'd like the neighbors to know we got out together once in a while."
[Mrs. Mimeo] [Laughs]
[Joker] Mr. President, did you hear about the fellow who was 9'8" tall, and wore a size 22 shoe? And you know what he did for a living? He stamped out forest fires.
[Mr. Borman Six] Mimeo! What is that?
[President of the U.S.] The game warden wanted me to throw it back, but it put up such a fight that I mounted it.
[Joker] Mr. President. This fellow went down to Florida to do a demonstration, a benefit show.
[Mr. Borman Six] Oh, this funny man. Funny man!
[Joker] And they put up a special platform with a trap door.
[Mr. Borman Six] Mimeo, who is this schmuck you have hired who is babbling in your ear over and over? Mr. President, Mr. President -- what banality!
[Joker] Mr. President, and this fellow's show was so terrible that when the trap door opened, if it wasn't for the fact that he had a rope around his neck ...
[Mr. Borman Six] Oh Lucy, would you like a toke? Or I'm putting it out on your nose.
[Joker] ... he would have broken his legs.
[Mr. Borman Six] Ah, ha!
And he couldn't kick! [Laughing]
[President of the U.S. and Mrs. Mimeo] [Laughing]
[Mr. Borman Six] You're a funny man.
Actually, when I think about it, I knew you're a funny man.
[Joker] Mr. President. Mr. President. Mr. President. Mr. President.
[Mr. Borman Six] Hey, it's cold in here. Throw another Jew on the fire.
[Joker] Mr. President. Mr. President. There were three women in Florida.
Mr. President, there were three women in Florida.
[Mr. Borman Six] Sock it to 'em, baby.
[Joker] Mr. President. Mr. President. Mr. President
[Mr. Borman Six] Oy! [Laughing]
[Faceoff Boy] It started last weekend at the Yale-Howard game ...
When I saw your beaver flash ...
I'll never be the same ...
[Faceoff Girl] You gave me a soul-kiss ...
Boy, it sure was grand ...
You gave me a dry-hump ...
Behind the hot-dog stand ...
[Faceoff Boy] I used to have pimples ...
But I made them disappear ...
[Faceoff Girl] He faced life with Face-Off ...
It made his skin so clear, mmm-hmm.
[Faceoff Boy] A pimple is simple if you treat your pimples right.
[Faceoff Girl] My man uses Face-Off; he's really out-of-sight ...
And so are his pimples.
[Putney Swope] [Throws shoes at the Maid]
I just created a skin cream called "Face Off" ...
and I just came up with a whole new concept for the Long Island Railroad.
[Mrs. Swope] I love you, baby.
[Putney Swope] I love you.
[Mrs. Swope] I love you, baby.
[Putney Swope] I love you.
[Mrs. Swope] I love you, baby.
[Putney Swope] I love you. Did you take your pill?
[Mrs. Swope] You'll never know.
[Putney's Maid] [Answers phone]
[President of the U.S.] Is Mr. Swope in?
[Putney's Maid] Huh?
[President of the U.S.] This is President Mimeo.
[Putney Swope] [Grabs phone from Maid]
[President of the U.S.] Putney?
[Putney Swope] Yeah?
[President of the U.S.] Guess who? [Laughs]
[Putney Swope] Marcus Garvey.
[President of the U.S.] Nope.
[Putney Swope] President Mimeo.
[President of the U.S.] How did you guess?
[Putney Swope] I used to be an exterminator.
[President of the U.S.] You might be saying, "I used to have an agency" if you don't get moving on the Borman Six.
[Putney Swope] Why you so hung up on the Borman Six?
[President of the U.S.] I'm a stockholder.
[Putney Swope] Let me sleep on it.
[President of the U.S.] Good night, pal.
[Hangs up phone]
[Mrs. Mimeo] [Takes off his hat ...
and they kiss]
[Mrs. Swope] [To Maid] Out!
[Mark Focus] Swope, Mark Focus.
[Pitney Swope] What do you want?
[Mark Focus] Did that for Hertz. That's Colgate. Nabisco.
[Putney Swope] I've seen enough, Mark. You're one of the best photographers in the business.
[Mark Focus] Thank you.
[Putney Swope] Take a walk.
[Mark Focus] Mr. President, Mark Focus.
I did this for Kennedy. I did this for Johnson. I did this for Nixon. And this is the Agnew funeral.
[President of the U.S.] Have you a picture of Raquel Welch?
[Mrs. Mimeo] [Slaps Mimeo's leg]
Would you like to join us?
[President of the U.S.] Did you vote for me?
[Mark Focus] [Makes "yes" sign]
[President of the U.S.] Well, it's okay.
[Mark Focus] [Takes off shirt and gets into bed with President]
[Putney Swope] Come up with an idea for the Borman Six.
[Mrs. Swope] I don't know nothing about automobiles.
[Putney Swope] Give me an idea for the Borman Six!
[Mrs. Swope] Alright. If I ever think of anything, I'll let you know.
[Putney Swope] Did you think of something? The Borman Six, nitwit!
[Mrs. Swope] Listen, Swope! If you want me to come up with ideas, get me a license, take me down to City Hall, and do what's right!
[Putney Swope] Forget it!
[Mrs. Swope] You forget!
[Mr. and Mrs. Swope] [Walking out of City Hall]
[Swope's bodyguard carries Mrs. Swope over the bedroom threshold ...
and puts her on the bed as the maid moves her snacks.]
[Maid] Mr. Swope: congratulations!
[Putney Swope] What about the Borman Six?!
[Mrs. Swope] Oh, alright! What are they going to feature next year?
[Putney Swope] Defects, pollution, velvet safety belts, strobe headlights, fiberglass windshield.
[Mrs. Swope] Okay!
You got to get a young girl with soul.
[Putney Swope] [Rushes out]
[Mrs. Swope] Ohhhhhh!
[Putney Swope] You better get movin' on that freight elevator!
[Exec] Sonny Williams got picked up in the Bronx Holiday Inn with a 13-year-old girl.
[Putney Swope] Well, at least he's not superstitious.
[Exec] Your lawyer, who's his lawyer, wants to be the prosecuting attorney.
[Putney Swope] Get Sonny Williams in here! Now!
[TRUTH AND SOUL, INC.]
[Secretary] Would you like to come over to my house and have some dainties?
[Rufus] I don't exercise.
[Secretary] Don't put me down. I can't sleep because of you.
That's why I've got these valises under my eyes. I'm in love with you Myron X.
[Rufus] My name is Rufus.
[Secretary] I don't care what your name is. You're my man.
[Rufus] I'm not your man!
[Secretary] Yes you are!
[Rufus] I'm not your man, and I never will be!
[Secretary] I don't care what you say to me. You're my biggest fantasy. I dream about you every night.
[Rufus] That's okay, just don't send me the laundry bill.
[Secretary] [Kisses him]
[Exec] Putney says the Borman Six girl has got to have soul.
Putney says the Borman Six girl has got to have soul.
Putney says the Borman Six girl has got to have soul --
got to have soul!
Putney says the Borman Six girl has --
[The Arab] Best shit I ever had.
[White Exec] Excuse me, Mr. Swope. Can I speak to you a minute?
[Putney Swope] Sure.
[White Exec] Mr. Swope, I do exactly the same job as the other executives, but I don't make as much money as they do. I don't think that's right.
[Putney Swope] If I give you a raise, everybody's going to want a raise. And if I give them a raise, they'll still be making more money than you, and we'll be right back to where we started.
[White Exec] I never thought of it that way.
[Putney Swope] And that's why you get less money, 'cause you don't think!
[White Exec] Thank you.
[Exec] She's got to have soul. I believe this. She's got to have soul!
Don't you believe it? She's got to have soul! Putney says she's got to have soul! Right?
See, she's got to have soul! Putney says she's got to have soul! Don't you believe she's got to have soul, this girl? Huh? This girl has got to have soul!
[Putney Swope] Let's go! Let's go!
[Air Conditioner Girl] [Dancing in a filthy alley]
You can't eat an air conditioner.
FAN-A-WAY: A new experience in 'lectric fans
-- FAN-A-WAY: A new experience in 'lectric fans
[Putney Swope] Beautiful! Give everybody a 10 buck raise.
[White Young Exec] What about the messengers?
[Mr. Syllables] [Having lost an arm and leg, on crutches] They charge an arm and a leg in there, but it's Worth-it!
[Putney Swope] What's that for?
[Exec] Worth-it Life Insurance.
[Song] Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba,
Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba,
Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba,
Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba
[Indian Sitar Music]
[Intercom] Will the passenger holding Lucky winning ticket no. 586,
please report to the special Lucky Prize Room ...
at the rear of the aircraft. Go Lucky Airlines.
[Male winner comes in and women caress him]
[Maidens] Are we then to thy liking?
Stay! Leave us not thus!
We'll well repay thee ...
'Tis not for gold we play.
'Tis for love we play.
Dost wish to bring us consolation?
Then shalt thou win us!
Leave the boy!
-- No! --
No! He's mine!
Come, fair boy!
Come! Let me blossom for thee!
Fair boy. For thy delight and refreshing
I've taken this loving care!
[Parsifal] How sweet you smell!
Are ye then flowers?
[Maidens] The treasure of the garden --
The master plucks us in spring!
We grow here --
blossoming for thee in delight.
Now be thou kind and loving to us!
An thou love and cherish us not
we fade and die thereby.
Come, sweet boy!
Let me cool thy brow!
Let me stroke thy cheeks!
-- "Interpretation of Richard Wagner's Parsifal," directed by Hans-Jurgen Syberber
[Putney Swope] Who did that?!
[Exec] You did. It was your idea!
[Putney Swope] Not bad! Not bad!
[Exec] We'll have 12 more by sundown.
[Putney Swope] I want these on the air by tomorrow night.
[Rufus-Myron X] Putney ...
in my humble opinion, these commercials are tasteless!
[Exec] Putney, Myron X said you were tasteless.
[Rufus-Myron X] You said we were going to do things with integrity and style! What we're doing is worse than anything our predecessors ever done.
Damn commercials are literal, and they are disgusting!
And by advocating such filth, Putney is confusing obscenity with originality.
[Secretary] Let me unconfuse you, baby!
[The Arab] Everybody who is in this commercial, you're fired! They ain't one of them around. And I know you're a jive cat, 'cause you done made your last mistake you ever gonna make, mister! I've seen that nonsense you're trying to show us here. You trying to dupe everybody in this joint.
Now, what is this? We've done taken the last bit of your nonsense, man! I'm not going to take all of this crap! Everybody knows you're a jive nigger. You done pull all this jive shit. Your mother had a creative idea when she born you, and you had to go and blow that! Now you're going to come and try to show us all this crap! A nigger sittin' up there eating cornflakes!
Man, you ain't had nothing original since you got here. You stole the idea about Borman Six, you got it from your wife. Are you going to tell me that's a lie, when she told me herself?
And that little nephew who gave you that idea for that other thing. And you got rid of him. Ain't nobody around who helped you with anything. Everybody has been shut up, cut up, or been put out.
Can't you see the trash this man is trying to sell us?
Look at you: the highwater pants, you jive nigger. Look at your two-button suit. Now, what kind of suit is that? You're supposed to be a soul brother. Look at these brothers here. Everybody dressed up like pride and dignity. You ain't got none.
Ho ah la la ...
This company runs because I'm here. And I'm going to hate you if you don't get right. And you ain't right.
And I hate you. I hate you, understand? I hate you because you're a jive cat, and you ain't got nothin' inside.
You gotta go! You gotta go, or I gotta go. And I'm not goin'! Now, how do you like that? He ain't got a thing inside of him. He ain't nothin' but a shell.
[Bodyguard] [Grabs the Arab and drags him out]
[The Arab] Hey, man, you gotta let me go! I'm a game. Shit. Get off me!
[Music] BA BA BA!
BA BA BA BA BA!
[Secretary] [Skips to the car ...
and gets in.
the car turns over ...
and she screams]
[Mrs. Swope] Cut!
[Man in White Suit] [Drags Secretary out of car wreck]
[Secretary] [Whimpering and screaming in agony]
[Putney Swope] What do you think?
[Mr. Borman Six] Keep the money, Swope, but don't put it on the air, or I be out of business.
[Putney Swope] What's wrong with it?
[Mr. Borman Six] Too much tailpipe.
[Putney Swope] Listen you. You're lucky I'm pushing this Death Trap. I don't play. It goes on the air tomorrow night.
[Mr. Borman Six] [Thumbs nose at Swope]
[Music] BA BA BA!
BA BA BA BA BA!
[Swope's Bodyguard] What the hell are you doing?
[Messenger] Making a delivery.
[Swope's Bodyguard] Well, make it down the stairs, and come back up the freight elevator.
[Messenger] It's 36 flights.
[Swope's Bodyguard] I don't care what it is.
[Messenger] Why do I have to take the freight elevator? I'm not a package.
[Swope's Bodyguard] Because it's custom!
[Pulls his gun and points it at him] Policy.
[Messenger] [Continues onward]
[Swope's Bodyguard] [Puts gun in his pocket and it falls on the floor]
[He picks it up making sure nobody notices]
[TV Mother] Love you, Walter!
I love you more than anything else in the world.
[TV Walter] I'll see you later.
[TV Mother] I love you, Walter.
[TV Walter] I love you too, Mother.
If federal regulators and government scientists failed to grasp the potential risks of thimerosal over the years, no one could claim ignorance after the secret meeting at Simpsonwood. But rather than conduct more studies to test the link to autism and other forms of brain damage, the CDC placed politics over science. The agency turned its database on childhood vaccines -- which had been developed largely at taxpayer expense -- over to a private agency, America's Health Insurance Plans, ensuring that it could not be used for additional research. It also instructed the Institute of Medicine, an advisory organization that is part of the National Academy of Sciences, to produce a study debunking the link between thimerosal and brain disorders. The CDC "wants us to declare, well, that these things are pretty safe," Dr. Marie McCormick, who chaired the IOM's Immunization Safety Review Committee, told her fellow researchers when they first met in January 2001. "We are not ever going to come down that [autism] is a true side effect" of thimerosal exposure. According to transcripts of the meeting, the committee's chief staffer, Kathleen Stratton, predicted that the IOM would conclude that the evidence was "inadequate to accept or reject a causal relation" between thimerosal and autism. That, she added, was the result "Walt wants" -- a reference to Dr. Walter Orenstein, director of the National Immunization Program for the CDC.-- Deadly Immunity, by Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
[Mrs. Swope] You know you're not supposed to serve food without something on your head!
I don't want your hair in my food! I told you 100 times!
Get in the kitchen!
[Maid] [Gibbering ...
and tripping into the kitchen]
The shows that constitute humiliation TV have been classified by programmers and critics alike as reality-based television. But there is nothing real about them, if by real we mean programs designed to show ordinary people in the process of going about day-to-day life. Humiliation TV shows are contrived from start to finish, and what they feature are not winners so much as losers to whom the viewing audience can feel superior. Their closest television roots lie in the shows of Jerry Springer and Howard Stern, where meanness is the norm, and nobody comes away with his dignity intact.
No show better illustrates the elements of humiliation television than the highly popular series The Apprentice. The show won huge ratings by pitting sixteen aspiring businessmen and women in a battle to win a $250,000 job with real estate mogul Donald Trump, whose weekly task was to tell a contestant, “You’re fired.” The “apprentices” were divided into teams and given a project (renting an apartment, making a profit from bicycle cabs) in which they knew in advance that one member from the losing side would be cut. The projects themselves were trivial, closer to a test contrived by a college fraternity than a business school, and that was the point. A serious approach to the business world would have been a distraction for the show as well as for Trump, whose hotel and casino holdings are currently mired in debt. The Apprentice centered not on the success or failure of any project but on the losing team’s having to face Trump across a huge conference table. Would the apprentices turn on each other? Would the hard-working contestant be defeated by the manipulative contestant? This was the drama the audience could not wait to see, and the most successful programs were the ones in which Trump fired someone the viewers had learned to hate, and the loser got into a waiting cab and drove off alone into the New York night.
In New York there are now Trump billboards that feature The Donald looking very stern and saying, “You’re fired,” and when we look at our television guides, we can see the formula that The Apprentice has perfected is everywhere.
-- Television and the Politics of Humiliation, by Nicolaus Mills
[Mrs. Swope] Honey, I'm sorry about this sandwich. That tile man's got the kitchen so stacked high with tiles, Cook can't cook anything. I'd send the damn tiles back, but you know we're having a dinner party on Friday.
[Reporter] How do you like working for Mr. Swope?
[Putney's Maid] You see, it's terribly difficult to run such a big house. But then I really do think it's important this house run well. And I'm not like washing windows here.
I'm sort of secretary in a very old-fashioned way.
[Reporters rush to interview Swope before he escapes in automobile]
[Reporter] Mr. Swope, do you think your approach to advertising will encourage young people to go into advertising?
[Putney Swope] I hope not!
[Reporter] Well, do you conceive your creations under the influence of drugs?
[Reporter] Hey, Swope. What do you think of the Panthers?
[Putney Swope] They look good against the bulldogs, but they need more depth to quarterback.
[Reporter] Last night, between 8 and 10 o'clock, only 14% of the usual amount of people left the house to buy newspapers and ice cream.
[Putney Swope] Uh huh huh!
[Reporter] In essence, your commercials were so good that nobody left the house to buy anything or burn anything. Uh, would you comment on that?
[Putney Swope] I think anything I would say would just be redundant.
[Reporter] Mr. Swope, where have you been all of these years?
[Putney Swope] Laying in the cut.
[Reporter] Mr. Putney, did you sleep with your wife before you married her?
[Putney Swope] Not a wink.
[Reporter] What is your position on the chicken board of life?
[Reporter] Is it true that you refuse to advertise war toys, cigarettes, and alcoholic beverages?
[Putney Swope] You said it.
[Reporter] Where did you get the name "Truth and Soul"?
[Putney Swope] In the streets.
[Reporter] Excuse me, Mr. Swope! Gourmet Magazine says your commercials are tasteless and that you should be censored. Now my question is, in what direction are you heading?
[Putney Swope] I'm going uptown. Can I give anybody a lift?
[Hits his bodyguard ...
who hits the driver]
[Chauffeur] Get out of my short, baby!
[Car drives off]
[Mrs. Swope] You little bitch! What are you doing out here?
Get your ass in that house immediately! Go on!
Come on! Get in there, you motherfuck!
Get in there!
[White Exec] I believe Mr. Swope asked you to use the freight elevator.
[Messenger] Since when is that your business?
[White Exec] Since right now! And if I catch you using that elevator again, I'm going to tell Mr. Swope.
[THINGS ARE CHANGING]
[Sister Basilica] [Smoking]
Is that Mr. Swope?
[Receptionist] That's him, baby.
[Sister Basilica] Oooh!
[Exec] Putney. Putney. Sonny Williams again. He was a guest on Dating Game, and when he didn't win, he stood up and exposed himself again.
CBS went off the air for 7 hours.
[Putney Swope] Bail him out, and get him in here.
[Sister Basilica] [Fanning cigarette smoke away] Ah, Mr. Swope.
I'm Sister Basilica. And this is Billy Reilly.
[Whispering] Billy's an orphan, and he wants to be your pal. Now, if you want to be Billy's pal ...
all you have to do is fill out the necessary papers, and take him out of the Settlement once a week. Oh, you know, you know, you can take him out to lunch, or take him for a ride.
[Putney Swope] You're taking me for a ride!
[Sister Basilica] Oh, be a pal!
[Putney Swope] Shouldn't you be in school?
[Billy Reilly] Fuck you, and fuck the Establishment, and fuck you people who are trying to make me part of the Unestablished Establishment.
[Putney Swope] Alright. I'll pick you up tomorrow at 11 o'clock. I'll take you to the zoo, then we'll go to the ballgame.
[Billy Reilly] Why don't you just adopt me and get it over with?
[Putney Swope] Don't push me, pal.
[Billy Reilly] Whatever you decide, don't do it out of guilt.
[Putney Swope] [Laughs]
[Exec] [Places coin in her coffee cup]
[Sister Basilica] Oh, bless you!
If this stiff comes through, we have it made.
[The Arab] Brother, you were voted in here on a jive hummer. Now how, when are things going to happen, man? Your whole cart has been peeped. When are things going to start to change? Where is the revolution you were talking about? There ain't nothing happening. There is no revolution the way you're running this joint, man. Now, when is something going to happen? When are you going to do it? When and how? What date? Give me a time, man? Show me how progress is going to be made. There ain't no progress the way this is running now.
Q. In the 2012 campaign, Obama was saying he had saved Detroit. What would your response to that be?
A. Well, I wrote Obama a letter, and I said, "Dear President Obama. God bless you, but you did not save Detroit. You saved General Motors. You saved Chrysler." Detroit, at this point, would stand a better chance if they were an Iraqi or Syrian city in terms of getting some sort of help. And I think Obama -- sadly -- has been, you know, has done many, many good things, but he has also been a HUGE disappointment. And I really feel like, I wish somebody would say to him -- maybe I'll say it, in case he's watching -- "You do read the Hollywood Reporter, Mr. President, don't you? When the history is written of this era, this is how you'll be remembered: 'He was the first Black President'. Okay! Not a bad accomplishment. But that's it! That's it, Mr. Obama. One hundred years from now, 'He was the first Black American that got elected President. And that's it! Eight years of your life, and that is what people are going to remember. Boy, I got a feeling knowing you that you probably wish you'd be remembered for a few other things, a few other things you could have done." So, on that level, he's a big disappointment.
-- "Michael Moore Slams Obama: History Will Only Remember You Were a Black President, Interview with Michael Moore," by The Hollywood Reporter, 9/9/14
[Exec] Putney. This is Sonny Williams.
[Putney Swope] What have you got to say for yourself, Sonny?
[Sonny Williams] [Exposes himself]
[Exec] Don't feel bad.
[Sonny Williams] [Exposes himself again]
[The Arab] Now there's a man who is doing something. That is a revolution, man. Don't you understand? When are you going to start? When are you going to do something?
[Rufus] Putney, the President of the U.S. wants to see you in three hours.
He says he'll meet you half way, so it's all set for Philadelphia.
[Mark Focus] Swope, Mark Focus.
[To Exec] I did this for Hertz. That's Colgate. That's Nabisco. That's IBM. And this for Mr. Swope. That's Rockefeller. That's Rockefeller.
[Exec] What are you going to do for me? Paint ducks?
[White Exec] You made it, Put. It's phenomenal. We've thrown a tremendous hump into the cooling industry.
[Putney Swope] Who told you to open your mouth?
[White Exec] No one. It just happened.
[Putney Swope] Alright. I created Face Off. I conceived the Borman Six. And don't forget the Mousetrap. The rest of you people took old ideas and broken-down concepts, and embellished them with a sense of show business. But that's not enough. When I see things that ain't fresh, I get butterflies in my ulcer.
So from now on, you've got to come up with completely original fantasies. Stop looking at the Tube. Stop reading magazines and newspapers. And don't talk to strangers. And --
[Messenger] Mr. Swope.
[Putney Swope] Get on the freight elevator!
[Messenger] [Pulls out gun and starts shooting]
[Bodyguard] [Looks for missing gun in his pocket]
[Everybody screams and gets under table]
[Man in White Suit] [Opens hand and Messenger puts his gun in it]
[Bodyguard] [Still looking for gun in empty pockets]
[Man in White Suit] [Grabs Messenger and takes him out of the room]
[Putney Swope] Get rid of him!
[Exec] What do you want me to do with him?
[Putney Swope] Get him a gig with the president!
[Exec] [Tackles Bodyguard
and takes him from room]
[Putney Swope] [Ties gun to string and then to new bodyguard's coat]
First day on the job, and you get to meet President Mimeo!
[New Bodyguard] Well, I'll take him off!
[Demonstrators attack Putney Swope as he leaves building and gets into car.]
[President of the U.S.] How do you like my demonstrators, Swope?
I put them in front of your building ...
'cause you won't advertise cigarettes, war toys, or alcoholic beverages.
And that's discrimination!
I also hear you flipped over the Borman Six.
Bum trip, Swope. If you keep discriminating against those products, I'm going to keep up the demonstrations.
It's a smart word, Swope. Don't cross me!
[To chauffeur] Let's move out!
[President's Mimeo's Chauffeur] Say please!
[President of the U.S.] I said "Move out!"
[Leaving Swope's old bodyguard holding machine gun on street]
[Putney Swope] Back to welfare, traitor!
[To chauffeur] Okay, move out!
[Chauffeur] Find yourself a short, schmuck!
[Old Bodyguard] [Collapses in despair on the ground]
[Poet] Hin! My word, "Hin!" Maybe Hin [inaudible], or Hin soreal. Hin smells nothing, begins nothing, possible unto Webster. It is my very, very own Hin. Hin in the teeth of the wind, and in the faces of governments and men. Hin. Hin uninvited, Hin unexcited. Hin retiring into his own Hinhood.
I built a wooden Hin, once and fooled no one. I painted Hin in oils, and ran out of canvas. But I shall follow wherever Hin leads, till Hin vanish into darkness.
My word "Hin." Hin soul.
[Putney Swope] Get everybody into the conference room.
[Exec] Got it!
[Maestro] And within the body, the shoulders and between the breasts. The sound that must be produced to procure pleasure is the "Hin."
-- "Juliet of the Spirits," directed by Federico Fellini
[Putney Swope] [To Cigarette Man] Put that out!
[Mr. Lunger] Lunger Cigarettes, Swope. What do you say?
[Mr. War Toys] Daily War Toys. We just came out with a new game called "Cops and Demonstrators."
[Mr. Bourbon] Bullcar Bourbon. You name the price, Swope.
[Mr. Lunger] Lunger Cigarettes, Swope, what do you say?
[Mr. Ethereal Cereal] Ethereal Cereal -- you saved me!
[Kisses Swope's hand; Swope grabs it back]
[Putney Swope] [Hands bag to Cowboy] Fill this up!
[Putney Swope] [To all Execs] I want everybody to drop whatever they're doing, and start thinking up ideas for Bullcar Bourbon ...
Lunger Cigarettes, and a new game called "Cops and Demonstrators."
[Secretary] I thought you said we wasn't going to advertise that kind of stuff.
[Putney Swope] I changed my mind.
[Secretary] I thought only women changed their mind.
[Exec] The Man's copping out.
[Putney Swope] What did you say?
[Exec] I said you're a copout!
[Putney Swope] Get out of here! And don't come back, either. Shit!
[Man in White Suit] You're a punk!
If you wasn't my brother, I'd kill you.
[New Bodyguard] [Draws gun and points it at Man in White Suit]
[Putney Swope] I want these campaigns ready by 5:00 o'clock. Sharp!
[Exec] Are you sure you want to do this?
[Putney Swope] I already done it!
[Secretary] What do you really want to do? Advertise garbage, or do what's right?
[Putney Swope] Both.
[Exits with bodyguard]
[White Young Exec] The man's a genius!
[Putney Swope] Good people! I tested them, but they did not cop.
[New Bodyguard] You mean that whole scene was a put-on?
[Putney Swope] That's right.
[Cowboy] [gives bag of money to Swope] There's $8 million and change here.
[Putney Swope] Figure what's left, and divide it up equally.
Forget the messengers, and forget the Arab.
PUTNEY SWOPE: Black Power Bustout
[Cowboys] [Slap each other's hands] You are the [inaudible] baby; you are the [inaudible].
[Execs come in]
[Exec] Putney, if you want to push cigarettes and booze, it's alright with me.
[Secretary] That's right.
[Gay Guy] Putney, I don't care what you advertise, as long as I get my raise.
[Man in White Suit] Brother, if you want to advertise crap, that's your prerogative. You're my man.
[Secretary] That's right.
[Exec] I'm with you, Put. Whatever the hell you want to do, I'm with you.
[White Young Exec] You're a genius, Putney. Do your thing.
[Putney Swope] [Shakes his head and leaves]
[The Arab] Putney, I hear you're splitting up the money equally. That's cool.
[Putney Swope] How did you find out?
[The Arab] The drum.
[Putney Swope] The drum should have told you you ain't getting a penny.
[The Arab] If I don't get my piece by sundown, your ass is mine!
Get out my bread, brother.
[Cowboy] The Man says you gets nothing, Arab!
[The Arab] What? Man, you better get your story straight. What you talking about? The drum says equal shares for everybody, and everybody means me. Don't you understand, mister? So come out your dream world and get your story straight, man, before I get hot here and have to tell my cousin Siran Saran-Wrap
[Man in White Suit] The Man says you gets nothing, you gets nothing.
[The Arab] The Man say I get nothing, then I gets nothing.
[To cowboy] You got a light?
[The Arab] Manza! Manza!
[Throws lighted paper into money box, which explodes]
Cast in Order of Appearance
The ordinary translation in modern versions of the Hebrew "'olah". This term does not mean literally "burnt offering," but "what is brought up" or presented to the Deity. The name is a translation of the Septuagint rendering, which is itself based upon the descriptive phrase often attached to "'olah" in the ritual prescriptions: "an offering made by fire unto the Lord" (Lev. i. 9 et seq.). A synonym is, which defines the offering as complete; i.e., when it is placed upon the altar, to distinguish it from the other forms of animal sacrifice (see I Sam. vii. 9; compare Ps. li. 21). The burnt offering was the highest order of sacrifice in the Old Testament ritual. The bloodless offerings were made only in connection with it.
-- Burnt Offering, by Jewish Encyclopedia
Stan Gottlieb ... Nathan (as Stanley Gottlieb)
Allen Garfield... Elias, Jr.
Archie Russell ... Joker
Ramon Gordon ... Bissinger
Bert Lawrence ... Hawker
Joe Madden ... Mr. Syllables (as Joe Engler)
Arnold Johnson ... Putney
David Kirk ... Elias, Sr.
Don George ... Mr. Cards
Buddy Butler... Putney's Bodyguard
Vincent Hamill ... Man in White Suit
Tom Odachi ... Wing Soney
Ching Yeh ... Wing Soney, Jr.
Spunky-Funk Johnson ... Mr. Major
Joe Fields ... Pittsburgh Willie
Norman Schreiber ... Messenger
Robert Staats ... Mr. War Toys (as Bob Staats)
Alan Abel ... Mr. Lucky
Sol Brawerman ... Mr. Dinkleberry
Steven Ben Israel ... Mr. Pit Stop (as Ben Israel)
Mel Brooks ... Mr. Forget It
Luise Heath ... Secretary (as Louise Heath)
Barbara Clarke Chisolm ... Secretary (as Barbara Clarke)
Catherine Lojacono ... Lady Beaver
John Robinson... Wayne
Charles Carlton Buffum ... Director (as Charles Buffum)
Ron Palombo ... Assistant Director
Wendy Apple ... Script Girl (as Wendy Appel)
Antonio Fargas ... The Arab
Geegee Brown ... Secretary
Vance Amaker ... Wall Man
Al Green ... Cowboy #1
Chuck Ender ... Cowboy #2
Anthony Chisholm ... Cowboy #3
Walter Jones ... Jim Keranga
Khaula Bakr ... Mrs. Keranga
Melvia Marshall ... Little Keranga (as Melvia)
Annette Marshall ... Little Keranga (as Annette)
Andrea Marshall... Little Keranga
Laura Greene ... Mrs. Swope
Ed Gordon ... Mr. Victrola Cola
Eric Krupnik ... Mark Focus
George Morgan... Mr. Token
Abdul Hakeim ... Bouncer
Allan Arbus ... Mr. Bad News
Jesse McDonald ... Young Militant
C. Robert Scott ... Militant #1
Leopoldo Mandeville ... Militant #2
Vince Morgan Jr. ... West Indian
Al Browne... Moderate
Marie Claire ... Eugenie Ferliger / Nun
Eileen Peterson ... Narrator
William H. Boesen ... Bert / Mr. Lunger
Carol Farber ... Secretary
Cerves McNeill ... Youngblood
Carolyn Cardwell ... Borman Six Girl
Chuck Green ... Myron X aka Rufus (as Charles Green)
Pepi Hermine... President of the United States
Ruth Hermine... First Lady
Paul Storob ... Secret Service Man
Lawrence Wolf ... Mr. Borman Six (as Larry Wolf)
Jeff Lord ... Mr. Bald
Tom Boya ... Mr. O'Dinga
Major Cole ... Idea Man #1
David Butts ... Idea Man #2
Franklin Scott ... Idea Man #3
Paul Alladice ... Idea Man #4
Exit ... Idea Man #5
Ronnie Dyson ... Face Off Boy (as Ronald Dyson)
Shelley Plimpton ... Face Off Girl
Elzbieta Czyzewska ... Putney's Maid
Paulette Marron ... Air Conditioner Girl
Delilah ... Stewardess #1
Carol Hobbs ... Stewardess #2
Birgitta ... Stewardess #3
Grania ... Interviewer
Marco Heiblim ... Lucky Passenger
Peter Maloney ... Putney's Chauffeur
Larry Greenfield ... Lead Reporter
Lloyd Kagin ... Billy Reilly
Perry Gewirtz ... Sonny Williams
Herbert Kerr ... Bodyguard #2
Hal Schochet ... President Mimeo's Chauffeur
Fred Hirschhorn ... Mr. Bourbon
George T. Marshall ... Mr. Executive (as George Marshall)
Donald Lev ... Poet
Donald Breitman ... Mr. Ethereal Cereal (as Donahl Breitman)
Peter Benson ... Mr. Jingle
Special Thanks to John Simon, The Guggenheim Foundation
It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check which has come back marked "insufficient funds."
-- I Have a Dream, by Martin Luther King, Jr