by Elliot Rodger
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[Transcribed from the video by Tara Carreon]
Hey, Elliot Rodger here. I'm up in the hills in Montecito right now. It's truly a beautiful day.
But, as I've always said: A beautiful environment is the darkest hell if you have to experience it all alone.
And sadly, I have been alone for a very long time.
I've been attending college in Santa Barbara for about 2-1/2 years now. And in those 2-1/2 years I have experienced nothing but loneliness and misery. And my problem is girls.
There are so many beautiful girls here, but none of them give me a chance. And I don't know why. I don't know why you girls are so repulsed by me. It doesn't make sense. I do everything I can to appear attractive to you. I dress nice. I am sophisticated. I am magnificent. I have a nice car -- a BMW -- well, nicer than 90% of the people in my college. Um, you know, I am polite.
I am the ultimate gentleman. And yet you girls never give me a chance. I don't know why.
I put a lot of effort into dressing nice. These sunglasses here, they were $300. Giorgio Armani. I'll put them on.
See? Hold on. Car.
Look at how fabulous I look.
You know, I feel so invisible as I walk through my college because none of the girls there pay attention to me. I see so many beautiful blonde-haired, just so many beautiful blonde-haired girls walking around everywhere in your revealing shorts, your cascading blonde hair, your pretty faces, and I want one of them for a girlfriend. I want to take a girl out on a date and prove to her that I'm worthy. I want to feel that sense of being worthy, to have a girl's love and affection. I'm 22 years old and I've never had a girlfriend.
I'm still a virgin. I've never had the pleasure of having sex with a girl, of sleeping with a girl, kissing a girl. I've never even held a girl's hand. Hell, I don't even have a young girl's phone number in my cell phone. And that's just such an injustice, because I am so magnificent.
I deserve girls much more than all those slobs I see at my college who are somehow able to walk around with their beautiful girls. I mean, even at the college town that I stay in during my semesters: as I walk around in the common areas of town, the areas where all the college parties happen, I see these obnoxious guys walking with beautiful girls.
And that pisses me off because I should be the one with the girls.
I mean, look at me! I'm gorgeous. But you girls don't see it. I don't understand why you're so repulsed by me. Why won't you give me a chance? It's ridiculous.
I mean, the other day I was doing some grocery shopping at Trader Joe's, and I was, of course, all alone, as I always am, which makes me feel so miserable. Anyway, I was doing my shopping and I saw this disgusting looking loser -- well, he's a loser in my opinion -- and he walks in with these two beautiful blonde girls at his side -- I couldn't believe my eyes! I was so insulted by that, because I should be the one with the girls, but you never give me a chance. If you just give me a chance and get to know me, you'll see that I am worthy of you.
Because I am. [Shakes his head back and forth and back and forth] Unbelievable!
I mean, this world is so beautiful, but it's so sad and depressing when I have to experience it all alone. And I have to watch other guys able to walk around and enjoy their lives with beautiful girlfriends at their side. I can only imagine how amazing their sex lives must be. I've never had sex or anything like that. It's such an injustice. I don't know why you girls hate me so much. I've always wished I could ask you this. And this is my way of asking you this. This is the only way I can ask you.