'You want to know what they're writing, even if it hurts'

Gathered together in one place, for easy access, an agglomeration of writings and images relevant to the Rapeutation phenomenon.

Re: 'You want to know what they're writing, even if it hurts

Postby admin » Thu May 19, 2016 5:08 am

Let's Talk About Zoe Quinn's Ex For Once
by Lindsey Weedston
August 21, 2014

[TRIGGER WARNING: ABUSE, THREATS, HARASSMENT, STALKING]

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UPDATE: The comment section on this post is now CLOSED because I'm still getting whiny asshole comments months later from people who are too committed to hating Zoe Quinn to keep up with the facts, which include that her ex has admitted to wanting 4chan and other horrible troll sites to pick up on this, that he knew there was a high chance Zoe would be harassed, that he's been involved with the "leaders" of #GamerGate and coaching them on how to fuel the fire, that this whole thing is just entertainment for him, has violated his restraining order, has been caught in lies on numerous occasions and sexually harasses women who speak up against him. You can see all of this shit here. It's done. Shut the fuck up about it forever.

I'm getting all kinds of people insisting that Zoe Quinn is horrible, from clear misogynists to women who identify as feminists. All kinds of accusations -- that she used sex to get good reviews, that she was emotionally abusive to her ex, that she fake doxxed herself or invented her harassment. All kinds of people pontificating on how AWFUL she was to cheat, to sleep with a married man (even though she said she didn't know at the time that he was married, but no one's taking the time to mention this), to lie about it, etc.

Is cheating wrong? Yes. It's very hurtful, breaks trust, and depending on the couple and the situation, there can be consent issues involved. No one's denying this. Surely Zoe, whether these assertions are true or not, is not a perfect person.

But her ex is clearly not perfect, either. I'm here to talk about what he did to her in order to counter the chorus of voices painting Zoe as the devil and her ex as the blameless victim.

I don't know everything about the details of their relationship. And I certainly shouldn't, because I don't know either of them personally. I feel weird reading any of the Facebook or other online conversations between the two of them, because that's their private business.

But that shit is now online for everyone to see because Zoe's ex put it there without her consent. Huge fucking images containing long conversations between the two of them during their breakup, all posted in a public website he made to tell the world every detail of their falling out (from his point of view, anyway). Isn't that messed up? Imagine you had what you thought was a private conversation from your then-partner and then they posted all of it online without asking if it was okay.

This is a violation of consent. This is a violation of someone's privacy. Clear as day, right out there for everyone to see it.

Now let's talk about emotional abuse.

This is something that doesn't get talked about much. Most of the time when you bring up emotional abuse, people scoff and roll their eyes. A lot of people don't think that emotional abuse is a real thing, or that's is a lesser form of abuse than physical (untrue, many psychologists consider it to be worse). A lot of feminists will talk about gaslighting, but will get dismissed as making things up or being too sensitive, or called any number of ableist slurs.

Yet now that Zoe's ex has posted intimate details of their private breakup online, everyone's all about the emotional abuse. "Oh look!" they say after reading their private conversation, "Zoe was gaslighting him! She was emotionally abusive! Abuse! Abuse! She's a terrible abuser!"

I can't comment on whether Zoe was being emotionally abusive or not, because again, I do not feel right about reading their private conversations. I did look at some of it, specifically the parts where Zoe admits to cheating, but that felt icky so I stopped.

Now, I'm in the habit of believing people when they say they were abused. But it's a little difficult when what Zoe's ex has done is intensely abusive to the point of being dangerous. And even if you are abused, this does not give you leave to be abusive in return.

Zoe's ex obviously knew that Zoe had already been a target of harassment, death threats, rape threats, doxxing, people calling her at home and at least one guy showing up at her home. He must have understood that her continuing her work, remaining visible online, put her life in danger. Not to mention her mental health. He more than anyone, other than Zoe herself and women like her, should have understood this.

In spite of this knowledge, he decides to create an entire public website not only talking about her sex life (which we all know can derail any woman's career) but spills out a shit ton of fuel for the Zoe-hate fire. This is not just a violation of privacy, this is DANGEROUS. And, predictably, she's experienced a massive resurgence in harassment. This is not something you can deny. I've already engaged with Twitter accounts clearly made for the sole purpose of harassing and/or smearing her, seen a vile pornographic comic of her that's being spread by gamer dudes, and seen comment after comment calling her gross misogynistic slurs.

And I have no doubt at all that she's receiving death threats and rape threats. Again.


Yet despite the public nature of this harassment, the website hasn't come down. That WordPress site created by her ex to detail their entire relationship and post private conversations is still there.

And I'm supposed to feel sorry for this guy? No. He is putting her at risk. He continues to put her at risk. Nothing justifies this. Cheating is wrong, but nothing justifies the endangerment of someone's life or the trauma of these massive, orchestrated harassment campaigns. At the very least, he fueled all of this. He is responsible for it.

Sounds like abuse to me. Does not sound like the behavior of a good person who would be great in a relationship. If you're abusive after the relationship, I am not going to believe you were a saint during.


Zoe, on the other hand, refuses to talk about the details of her private relationship with her ex. She has declared publicly that she will not take the bait because it's no one's business. She took the classy, respectful route. Not that he deserves it.

It pisses me off that the only time people want to talk about emotional abuse is when they want to smear a woman or use it to justify their hatred/harassment of her. Fuck that. You want to take emotional abuse seriously, I'd best hear about her ex's abusive behavior as well. Maybe Quinn can't be held up as a saint, but she's still inspiring to me. I know I wouldn't be able to resist the bait. I would lash back out at a guy who did that to me. Maybe even go into hiding to avoid the harassment. But she stands strong. That's incredible.

But her ex is nothing but a soggy weasel as far as I'm concerned.
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Re: 'You want to know what they're writing, even if it hurts

Postby admin » Thu May 19, 2016 5:13 am

Cyberbullying 'worse than face-to-face' abuse, suggests global research
by bbc.co.uk
September 22, 2015

NOTICE: THIS WORK MAY BE PROTECTED BY COPYRIGHT

YOU ARE REQUIRED TO READ THE COPYRIGHT NOTICE AT THIS LINK BEFORE YOU READ THE FOLLOWING WORK, THAT IS AVAILABLE SOLELY FOR PRIVATE STUDY, SCHOLARSHIP OR RESEARCH PURSUANT TO 17 U.S.C. SECTION 107 AND 108. IN THE EVENT THAT THE LIBRARY DETERMINES THAT UNLAWFUL COPYING OF THIS WORK HAS OCCURRED, THE LIBRARY HAS THE RIGHT TO BLOCK THE I.P. ADDRESS AT WHICH THE UNLAWFUL COPYING APPEARED TO HAVE OCCURRED. THANK YOU FOR RESPECTING THE RIGHTS OF COPYRIGHT OWNERS.


Image

One-in-five young people has been cyberbullied, according to a research across 11 countries.

A fifth say they felt suicidal as a result.

The survey also found that more than half of the 5,000 teenagers who took part thought being targeted online was worse than face-to-face bullying.


Vodafone and YouGov carried out the poll in countries including the UK, Spain, New Zealand and Ireland.

What it found among the victims

Forty-one per cent said online abuse left them feeling depressed or helpless.

Image
Izzy Dix on the beach
Image caption Fourteen-year-old Izzy Dix took her own life after being cyberbullied


A quarter had closed down their social media accounts, with almost 40% saying they couldn't tell their parents, because of feeling scared or worry that they might get involved.

Around 40% said they would find it hard to support a friend being been bullied, but seven out of 10 would "be likely to use an emoji to express compassion or support".

Newsbeat recently brought you a series of reports looking at teenage suicide after the death of 14-year-old Izzy Dix.

You got in touch with us through Facebook, Twitter and text message to tell us how and why Izzy's story had affected you.

"I experienced suicidal thoughts as a young person and it was a massive relief to finally speak up," wrote Rachel.

"Online bullying has become so much more embedded," said Charlotte.

If this is sounding familiar to you you can get more on these BBC Advice pages.

The Department for Education is spending £7m on tackling cyber bullying and a spokesman said: "We have strengthened teachers' powers to tackle bullying by giving them the freedom to search for and delete inappropriate images from phones and other electronic devices.

"We have also made clear that teachers can discipline and investigate cases of bullying outside school."
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Re: 'You want to know what they're writing, even if it hurts

Postby admin » Thu May 19, 2016 6:19 am

Rise In Teens Shamed In Cyberbullying Videos: A growing number of young people are becoming victims of shocking videos which accuse them of promiscuity or disloyalty.
by Rebecca Williams
Sky News Reporter
March 25, 2016

NOTICE: THIS WORK MAY BE PROTECTED BY COPYRIGHT

YOU ARE REQUIRED TO READ THE COPYRIGHT NOTICE AT THIS LINK BEFORE YOU READ THE FOLLOWING WORK, THAT IS AVAILABLE SOLELY FOR PRIVATE STUDY, SCHOLARSHIP OR RESEARCH PURSUANT TO 17 U.S.C. SECTION 107 AND 108. IN THE EVENT THAT THE LIBRARY DETERMINES THAT UNLAWFUL COPYING OF THIS WORK HAS OCCURRED, THE LIBRARY HAS THE RIGHT TO BLOCK THE I.P. ADDRESS AT WHICH THE UNLAWFUL COPYING APPEARED TO HAVE OCCURRED. THANK YOU FOR RESPECTING THE RIGHTS OF COPYRIGHT OWNERS.


The NSPCC has condemned videos being uploaded on the internet where youngsters are encouraged to name and shame friends they consider to be promiscuous or disloyal.

Some of the so-called 'baiting out' videos have received hundreds of thousands of views online and some of those producing the content are earning a decent wage.

Cassidy Valentine, 21, who was named in one of the videos, insists they are a form of cyberbullying.

She told Sky News: "I was pretty embarrassed. I was more shocked than anything.

"I was worried about whether I would receive hate and people wouldn't like me."

The videos are being made primarily in London, but also in Telford and Birmingham.

Following complaints, police in the Midlands are now investigating.

Sky News has seen one video filled with expletives and sexual content that was made by children in school uniform, who look no older than 13.

Alan Wardle, from the NSPCC, said: "The children in these videos are teenagers, many of whom are worrying about their own development and their own sexuality ... and for this material to be on the internet, and for people they don't even know to see it, is deeply distressing."


A survey published today by teachers' union NASUWT has found that 50% of teachers know of pupils who have used social media to share material of a sexual nature, and 25% know of students involved in 'sexting' who are just 11 years old.

There are a number of YouTubers making baiting out videos.

AlpayB is one of the main contributors. However, he's now decided to change his content as he no longer considers it appropriate.

Theo Ajiey, 23, is another video maker who encourages people to name disloyal friends.

He told Sky News: "I don't personally think the videos are bullying. They're just banter, a bit of fun.


"For example, in one of the videos, a guy baits out his own mother."

Following criticism some of the video makers have now removed their content.

YouTube has said in cases where graphic content is uploaded, it is careful to apply warnings and age restrictions to safeguard people using the site.
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