by Annie Wilkinson
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The idea of betrayal is terrifying. The idea that someone could take the trust that you gave them and break it, makes you never want to trust anyone at all.
Being 19-years-old, I’ve had my fair share of betrayal, and I’ve lost a lot of friends. Betrayal includes boyfriends, friends and sometimes strangers.
Betrayal teaches us things, that couldn’t be otherwise taught. It teaches you to not trust everyone, but it also teaches you how to trust again.
It gives you warning signs, you put pieces together, “Oh, my best friend did this to me” and when a person starts acting like that toward you, you have an idea of what may happen.
I’ve had plenty of boys betray me, cheat on me, etc.
Boys who you date for a long time, that spend the next 6 months telling you that they’ll date you and but instead make you feel stupid while they talk to other girls behind your back.
And yeah, that does suck, but, honestly, the worst betrayal, by far, is by friends. Your best friend, the one person you trusted with everything and for them to take that trust and break it, is more heartbreaking than any boy cheating on you, or telling your secrets.
Friends have a bond, a kind of bond that shouldn’t be broken, even if you stop being friends.
You have all sorts of different kinds of betrayal:
The best friend and the boyfriend, a double wammy, hitting you from both angles, and leaving you feeling completely alone.
You have the “friend” who wants to know all your business but then spreads it.
You have the gossiper, the one who comes to you with everything, and you know that everything you say goes back to whoever they talk too next.
The friend who encourages you to do something while secretly hoping that you fail.
The jealous friend, the one who no matter what you do they have something hateful to say.
The includer, who invites you to everything just so they can exclude you and make you feel left out.
See, each type of friend has a different warning sign.
But the worst is when you don’t see it, and it comes, and you weren’t expecting it because your best friend didn’t use to be like that.
And then all of a sudden you’re not friends anymore. And then this person walks away with all of your secrets and the scariest part of that is that it is up to them whether or not they spread it.
But the upside of betrayal is, you get rid of the toxic people, you can move forward without them.
Sadly, people aren’t looking out for you all of the time, they’re usually looking out for themselves.
BUT: not everyone is like that. You will find your friend group. The amazing thing about college and high school is you slowly narrow down who your real friends are.
One of my favorite vine’s is the one where it shows, freshman, sophomore, junior and senior year. And freshman year you have like 40 different friends and each year it gets smaller until you have one or two friends.
My parents always told me, “You will be lucky to get through life with 2 or 3 really good friends.”
Because like I said, people look out for the good of themselves, not what is good for you.
But, don’t run from trusting people, because closing yourself off from the world is dangerous. Hurt and betrayal and lack of trust helps you grow up. You learn from it.
And from it you get your real friends, the ones that won’t kiss your boyfriend in your living room, and the ones who won’t ask how your day was hoping it was bad, and the ones that won’t put you in toxic situations and leaving you feeling like everything is your fault when its theirs.
Betrayal: it hurts, but it’s worth experiencing to learn the lesson.