8 Things No Grown-Ass Man Would Ever Talk About, Because He'

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8 Things No Grown-Ass Man Would Ever Talk About, Because He'll Keep His Sex Life And His Exes To Himself
by Bobby Box
May 21, 2015

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Grown-ass man. Every woman who dates men deserves herself such a man. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with what exactly constitutes a grown-ass man, let me, a man, help describe this righteous dude in all his glory. A grown-ass man is undeniably secure and confident with himself. He’s the kind of guy who would never say or do things that men from your past have, because these guys were childish, and did things that stemmed from their own insecurities – and these things hurt you. Essentially, a grown-ass man is a modern take on the gentleman.

You could argue that a synonym for the grown-ass man is “husband material”, but even then, a man can in fact be deemed "grown-ass" even if you don’t intend on marrying him or marriage in general. So this is why we’ve chosen to go with grown-ass man, because there's just no better way to say it. Any questions? Great!

To help further explain (or help identify whether the man you’re seeing is indeed grown-ass), I’ve provided eight things that no grown-ass man would dare talk about to his partner.

1. His manhood

A man who boasts about his penis is either insecure about its true size, or doesn’t have much else going for him besides that. So in both cases, the man who speaks highly of his precious penis, is not a grown-ass man. He’s just the opposite.

2. His sex life

Another thing a grown-ass man won’t do is brag. This is because he doesn’t feel the need to. He’s confident in his sexuality, and your sex life, and that’s all that matters to him. Even when he’s out with his buddies, if he’s asked about his sexual exploits, he’ll either say nothing, or voice something along the lines of having “no complaints.” No other details will be provided out of respect for you.

3. His exes

A man who talks about his exes is a man who’s looking to get a reaction out of his woman. It’s merely another sign of his insecurity. By mentioning his ex, he’s looking to feed his bravado, so the best thing you can do for yourself is let him say what he has to say – and it won’t be much, I assure you. Once he sees that bringing up ghosts from the past gets nothing out of you, he’ll stop mentioning it – it’s intended purpose is no longer being addressed.

4. His money

Like his manhood, a man will mention his money as a means of winning a girl over. Unfortunately, sometimes this works. But most of the time, a woman requires so much more from a man than an impressive bank statement, and the kind of guy who talks about his money at length, probably doesn’t have much else.

5. Your exes

The only reason he wants to talk about your exes is to see how he measures up against them. Did you upgrade when dating him? Downgrade? He wants to know, and if you don’t tell him, he’ll snoop through your social media networks to find an image of you two embraced at a fair or on vacation together. Again, it’s evidence of his insecurity. Either way, he shouldn’t care, because he’s the one your with and want to be with, and that’s all you need to tell him.

6. Your friends

A man who tries to steer his partner away from her friends has some strange kind of agenda where he selfishly wants you all to himself. He’s possessive. Unless your friends are bad influences on you and cause harm, there’s no reason to berates them besides either wanting you to hang out with his friends more, or having you all to himself – which might sound romantic in the beginning (that lovely honeymoon phase), but after you’ve been with the guy for a while, totally isn’t.

7. Your parents

say aboIn-laws or your significant other's parents may not be the most well-received category of person, but a grown-ass man would never speak ill of them. While he might agree with things you say about them after a heated bout, and won’t appear the slightest bit excited when the two of you are invited to dinner at their place, he’d never dare trash-talk the people who made you, you.

8. How much things cost

Have you ever gone out with a guy who’s made it a point to reference how expensive the restaurant he’s brought you to is? This is no grown-ass man. Nor is the guy who keeps the price tag on gifts or the guy who tells everyone how much his car costs. He's using these price tags as a means of talking himself up. Similarly to bragging about his income (stated prior), he's making his belongings his most attractive quality.

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Sexual bragging; is it ever a good idea?
by Michele Gwynn
August 14, 2012

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Is there ever an appropriate moment to brag about sexual conquests? Some men do when “hanging with the fellas”. It might mostly be in jest and it is almost always more fiction than fact, but what about men who brag to women about their sexual conquests? Is there ever an appropriate moment for that? The answer is no: not even if the woman in question is a girlfriend, lover, or wife; and especially not if the woman subjected to this catalogue of conquests is a business associate, stranger, or relative. That pretty much covers all women, yes?

It happens more often than you’d think!

It seems like such a strange thing to do that I had to have a pow-wow with my panel of experts. The answers as to why any man would advertise his personal score-board ranged from low self-esteem to over-inflated ego.

Liz: I've always felt it was a lame attempt at getting a woman's interest...very misguided. No woman is going to say "Wow! You have soooo much experience, have slept with so many women. I want some of that!" No sir. Most women are thinking "Are you kidding? I bet you have a small penis." Ladies, am I right?

Life coach and hypnotherapist, Jami McDonald shared “I may have some haters after making this comment but I have worked with some people (male and female) who do this to help rebuild or build their self confidence -- this is usually most often when they work hard to find ways to bring it up in conversations (appropriate or not).”

These would definitely be the ones on the low-self esteem end of the litmus strip. On the other end, you have the over-inflated egotist who may or may not be “fluffing” his past experiences to make them seem like more than what they are. The term “narcissism” was brought up; that condition in which someone is interested in only topics of discussion about themselves and unapologetic self-promotion. McDonald explained “Narcissism is used to describe egoism, conceit, vanity, simple selfishness in social situations. It can be used to describe indifference or elitism. I suppose in their mind they are boosting their egos, encouraging their own vanity, and irritating others with selfish behaviors. It could definitely fall under narcissist tendencies, but do they really get anything out of exploiting most often fictitious sex stories?”

McDonald elaborated. “In other cases, I have seen adults who were raised in households where any topic of conversation was open to be discussed. This is a great idea; unfortunately, it creates the perception that behavior is okay while interacting socially with others who may not share the same viewpoint. This can impact their own self awareness and self esteem because they become socially unacceptable by their peers.”

Bruce R. pointed out the man’s perspective on braggarts. “I personally don't think anyone brings that topic up, professional setting or not, without the intent of trying to get in someone's pants, at some point, anyway. We are men after all.”

This brings us back to Liz’s point. Men want to get women talking about sex in the hope that they might get that woman interested in sex … with them. Bragging about one’s “number” of conquests seems a great idea in the male mind (for those who don’t recognize the social boundaries). It’s verbal SEO (search engine optimization). If they can utter enough words that correlate to sex, then the female human brain might pick up on those cues and either consciously or subconsciously begin to want and desire sex. In the right circumstance and situation (meaning with the right person) this can work. Unfortunately for these men, in these particular situations where the women being bragged to are not current girlfriends/wives, this actually has the opposite effect. Women are wired to accept sexual conversation in very few settings. Those settings include conversations with current lovers; new boyfriends after three dates, new lovers in the prime of the relationship; BFFs when discussing personal problems, and in safe conversations with friends where the topics are kept light and humorous. In any other setting, women view these sexual conversation as a straight-out attempt to bed them; a type of ill-advised verbal assault or abuse which is inappropriate, even insulting, therefore a complete turn off. If these conversations are brought up in the workplace, whoever initiates it, they are legally considered sexual harassment.

It just isn’t ever a good idea to brag about sexual conquests with the opposite sex. In most situations, it’s just tacky. It screams “I have nothing else to offer you.” In all others, it’s inappropriate and could lead to termination by an employer. Keep those stories for locker-room chat with the boys. That’s one of the only places left where they might be welcome as part of the ritual of male bonding and the tradition of one-upmanship.