by Matt Inman of The Oatmeal
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[Bob 1] Hey you ugly little NardMango, give me that pudding cup.
[Bob 2] Don't make him ask twice, Billy. You don't want to see him angry. Bob's like a fighter jet when he's angry.
[Bob 1] That's right, you little NardBucket. Hand over the pudding cup or I'll come down on you with the agony and suffering of a thousand Panzer tanks. I am Genghis Khan. I am the sword. I am your horror, your plague, and your death.
[Bob 2] I'm trying to work with you here, Willy. I'm the good guy. Just give him your pudding cup and everyone wins. Especially Bob.
[Willy] Sniff. Well okay ...
[Bob 2] Smart move, little man.
[Willy] You know what Bob?! One day you're going to grow up and you'll see the world differently. You'll find that kindness and compassion are how you get ahead in life. Not violence. Not hate.
[Bob 1] What's that little NardCopter rambling about? He's disturbing my pudding feast.
[Bob 2] I'm pretty sure he just called you Captain Booger Balls. You just gonna sit there and take it, Bob?
[Bob 1] IS THAT SO? You like the taste of mulch, you little nardbagel? Do you?!! HRMFPFACKTHPTTH.
[Bob 2] You shouldn't have hurt his feelings, Willy. This is what happens when you hurt Bob's feelings.
[Bob 1] I said, give me that tasty sandwich, you little DouchePickle.
[Bob 2] Don't make him ask again. You don't want to see him angry. Bob's like a fighter jet when he's angry.