Malshandir, Motherfuckers!, by malshandir.us (Jack L. Brown)

Malshandir, Motherfuckers!, by malshandir.us (Jack L. Brown)

Postby admin » Fri Nov 01, 2013 3:50 am

Malshandir, Motherfuckers!, by malshandir.us (Jack L. Brown)

NOTICE: THIS WORK MAY BE PROTECTED BY COPYRIGHT

YOU ARE REQUIRED TO READ THE COPYRIGHT NOTICE AT THIS LINK BEFORE YOU READ THE FOLLOWING WORK, THAT IS AVAILABLE SOLELY FOR PRIVATE STUDY, SCHOLARSHIP OR RESEARCH PURSUANT TO 17 U.S.C. SECTION 107 AND 108. IN THE EVENT THAT THE LIBRARY DETERMINES THAT UNLAWFUL COPYING OF THIS WORK HAS OCCURRED, THE LIBRARY HAS THE RIGHT TO BLOCK THE I.P. ADDRESS AT WHICH THE UNLAWFUL COPYING APPEARED TO HAVE OCCURRED. THANK YOU FOR RESPECTING THE RIGHTS OF COPYRIGHT OWNERS.


Coming soon... Malshandir!
Is it...

•a brutal grindcore band?
•an energy drink manufactured in North Korea?
•the correct medical term for Anal Leakage?
•the name of an elf in Everquest 2?
•a German word meaning The Streisand effect?

Who cares? This is America!

Image
Got a Cease & Desist From Malshandir. Seems Legit.

DISCLAIMER: Malshandir.us is not affiliated with -- nor intended to be confused with -- any other entity using the name Malshandir, whether it be elven characters in Everquest 2, already existing brutal grindcore bands, energy drinks manufactured in North Korea, or overly litigous European douchebags. In other words, even a moron in a hurry could not possibly think this domain is infringing on anyone's trademark.

Image

If, however, you are a moron in a hurry, allow me to be specific: Malshandir.us is not in any way whatsoever affiliated with the fine Malshandir line of butthurt ointments.

Image
Malshandir to soothe the butt-hurt

Image
Malshandir butthurt ointment

Image
Malshandir butthurt ointment

Image
Malshandir butthurt ointment. Now with 30% more Streisand Effect

Rick Horowitz must live in some part of the world where Malshandir's butthurt ointment packaging is different from what we're accustomed to. With all those side effects, it's no wonder Malshandir remains an obscure brand in the ever-competetive world of butthurt ointments. Would you want to rub that on your taint?

Image
Limited Warranty To Consumers. Good Ass-Keeping. Since 1909. Replacement or Refund if Defective

If you have your head up your ass, Malshandir may be right for you. Side effects of Malsandir are common, and include Streisand Effect, excessive ridicule, terminal idiocy, empty wallet syndrome, diarrhea of the courtroom, darkened stool, darkened soul, lycanthropy, trucanthropy, arteriosclerosis, hemorrhoids, diabeetus, virginity, mild discomfort, vampirism, gender impermanence, spontaneous dental hydroplosion, sugar high, loss of privacy, your mom, and perianal rash.

Nor are we affiliated with the Malshandir line of feminine hygeine products.

Image
Malshandir Extra Cleansing Vinegar and Water Feminine Douche. Clean and Refreshing. Complete and ready-to-use. Alcohol Free. Compare to Summer's Eve Douche

I don't know if this guy uses or endorses Malshandir feminine hygeine products. His name is Thomas Freyer and for some reason, his picture came up on a Google image search of the word Malshandir. I assure you he has nothing to do with this site. (NOTE: An alert reader points out that he looks a lot like this dude. Also... they made a sequel to The Killing?)

Image

And while we here at Malshandir.us fully endorse Malshandir brand child restraints, let it be known that this website is not in any way intended to infringe upon any of their copyrights and/or trademarks.

From the folks who brought you the Infant Taser and Cinnamon-flavored Arsenic Pops comes the latest in child restraint: Malshandir! Made from a proprietary combination of kevlar and ceramics, these child restraints are not only nearly unbreakable, they are undetectable at airport security! Finally you can travel in style but still have the gear you need to get the job done!

Image

These top-in-class restraints feature the trademarked Freyer-Effect that you all adored from our live-capture body bags: the more the child struggles, the tighter they become! *

* Warning: Extended loss of circulation can result in permanent damage up to and including the need for amputation. Do not leave children handcuffed with Malshandir unsupervised for more than 48 hours.

I don't know if Malshandir is a brand of air sickness bags or if Malshandir is some foreign word for air sickness, but the thought that this site has anything to with it one way or another makes me want to puke.

Image

Adolf Hitler was rather proud of showing off his Malshandir tattoo. Allow me to go on record as not endorsing Hitler. There may or may not be German entrepreneurs who are inspired by his tattoo, I don't know. We here at Malshandir.us are firmly in the anti-Hitler camp.

Image

When I did a Google image search for Malshandir, for some reason, Google assumed I was looking for images related to Malshanger. Apparently the heirs to the Colman's Mustard fortune live in a place called Malshanger Manor. So while this image is completely irrelevant, I'd like to use this opportunity to say that Colman's Mustard is some good shit.

Image

Bethesda Softworks, makers of the most excellent game Skyrim, are not affiliated with Malshandir.us, but I couldn't resist creating an enchanted blade named Malshandir's Taint. The thing is made of Dragon Bone; that blade will fuck you up!

Image

Our Motto: There's the right way, then there's the Malshandir way!

Image

Contact me: malshandir *at* malshandir *dot* us

© 2013 Malshandir.us
all credit to the original creators of the images. You know who you are.
admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 18049
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2013 5:21 am

Return to Jack L. Brown

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron