American Fight Songs, by Charles Carreon

[admin]

American Fight Songs
by Charles Carreon

NOTICE: THIS WORK MAY BE PROTECTED BY COPYRIGHT

YOU ARE REQUIRED TO READ THE COPYRIGHT NOTICE AT THIS LINK BEFORE YOU READ THE FOLLOWING WORK, THAT IS AVAILABLE SOLELY FOR PRIVATE STUDY, SCHOLARSHIP OR RESEARCH PURSUANT TO 17 U.S.C. SECTION 107 AND 108. IN THE EVENT THAT THE LIBRARY DETERMINES THAT UNLAWFUL COPYING OF THIS WORK HAS OCCURRED, THE LIBRARY HAS THE RIGHT TO BLOCK THE I.P. ADDRESS AT WHICH THE UNLAWFUL COPYING APPEARED TO HAVE OCCURRED. THANK YOU FOR RESPECTING THE RIGHTS OF COPYRIGHT OWNERS.

War is Hell, by Joshua Carreon

Table of Contents

• A Mexican Fourth of July
• Android
• Baby Boom, Kaboom
• Beware Software
• Burn Your Bridges
• Bush Riders Outta Control
• Buy American
• Can't Change the Channel
• Condoleeza
• Dazbidanya Amerikanski
• Doin' God's Work
• Don't Kill Nobody
• Don't Let It Get You Down
• Don't Mess With My Mom
• Everybody Wants to Be Like Paris Hilton
• Evolution
• Explode on the Border
• Eye for Eye
• Fake News, Self-Censorship and the Three Stupid Monkeys
• Four Stars
• Fuck the NWO
• God Loves a Hypocrite
• Heaven's Perfect
• Hotel Babylonia
• I Ain't Hatin' Satan
• I Became a Luddite
• I Don't Love Lucy
• It's Gonna Get Worse (Before It Gets Better)
• It's Tantra Baby
• Jail Tale
• Let's Go Back To The Days of Dialup
• Lone Madman
• Mother's Day
• Multiple Gunshot Suicides
• Murder Czar
• Planet Earth, 2008
• President Evil
• Psycho Santa
• Suicide Santa
• The Old Ve-to
• They're Looking So Pretty
• Vlad and Me
• Working for the CIA
• You Can't Defeat An Avocado

[admin]

A MEXICAN FOURTH OF JULY, by Charles Carreon




[Charles Carreon's Declaration of Independence: "Take two, they're small! Forever yours, Charles Carreon"]

There once was a man named Columbus
Italian I think that he was
He got lost on the way to the Indies
And laid claim to this country instead

The people who lived here were Mayas
Olmecas, Toltecas and such
We worshipped among the volcanoes
And lived in traditional huts

We lived mainly on beans and tortillas
With tomatoes and chilies for spice
We built pyramids bigger than Walmarts
But the greeters were not very nice.

When Cortez arrived sometime later
He kidnapped the Mexican King
We had heavy clubs and obsidian knives
But against bullets they don't do a thing.

The Padres and Popes screwed us freely
And the Spanish gave way to the French
Benito Juarez strung up Maximillian
Ruling Mexico's never a cinch.

Of course, we once owned California
Arizona, New Mexico, too
We mined gold, silver and turquoise
But not like Americans do.

Then you dammed up the water, you bastards,
The Colorado no longer flows free
To the Golfo de California
You took it for nothing from me.

You make fun of our clothes and our English
Even though Espanol you can't speak
You deride us for tanning so darkly
While you hide from the sun like a freak.

Go on laugh, you pinche Cabrones
Laugh until you piss your pants
We are the ones with cojones
Move aside, so that we can get past.

We won't spit in your milkshake, hermano
In fact let me supersize that
More fries? Absolutely senora,
When compared with a pig, you're not fat.

You watch porn like you're all maricones
Jerking off while your wives waste away
When you forget how to screw altogether
I will call that a wonderful day.

When cute Mexicanas are flirting
Red blooded chamacos must play
It's true we don't do much computing
You don't make Mexicanos that way.

You're going to build walls on the border
With Mexican Labor I hear
The Israelis tried that in their desert
Soon we'll have suicide beaners here.

You are laughing, I see mi amigo,
Your sonrisa is smiling so bright
So have one of these chili poppers
On a Mexican fourth of July.

[admin]

ANDROID, by Charles Carreon





Anesthetize him
Lay him on the table
Impress his shoulder
with a stocking label
Give him some saline--
'bout four c-c's
He needs some wheels
to replace those knees
He'll be so thankful--
never have cold feet
Just oil the rollers
and they never squeak
 
He'll be an android, android--
better than a man
An android, android--
part of the plan.
An android, android
well built and well adjusted
An android, android
employees to be trusted.
 
Remove the cranium cap--
Set it in the pan
We'll be replacing it
As quick as we can
Insert a clock in the occipital node
He'll always know just when it's time to go
He'll never waken
too late for work--
He'll wake at seven
and sit up with a jerk.
Connect the stimulator
to the pleasure center
It's cheaper than dope
and works much better--
Now wire up those jaws
in the usual way--
He'll eat through tubes
and he won't have much to say
Just mopping floors and swabbing
toilets every day
He'll be so happy in his android way--
 
He'll be an android, android--
better than a man
An android, android--
part of the plan.
An android, android
well built and well adjusted
An android, android
employees to be trusted.
 
Implant infra-sensors
in the optic nerves
So night or day
he will be there to serve
Graft laser blasters to his index
fingers,
He won't be too attractive,
But we're not building night-club singers.
Just you imagine what his
mother would say,
She'd be so proud to see him here
this way,
Her work improved on--
deficiencies amended,
He's so employable
we ought to be commended!
 
He's an android, android--
better than a man
An android, android--
part of the plan.
An android, android
well built and well adjusted
An android, android
employees to be trusted.

[admin]

BABY BOOM, KABOOM, by Charles Carreon





Well I was born in 1956
Old Kruschev was up to his tricks
He was poundin' with his goddamn shoe
Says he's gonna make a mess of you

Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom

We all lived behind a nuclear fence
With Big Daddy for our President
Old Harry Truman sure gave 'em hell
Set the Japs back for a spell

Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom

When the smoke cleared we had Marshall Plans
Transplanted Nazis and Vietnams
We had a global weapons trade
A solid dollar, we had it made

Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom

We blamed Hitler for the holocaust
Though IBM kept Hitler's books
We founded Israel as East New York
And made it fat on Congressional Pork

Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom

Well we're the last blast of levity
The End of the Century
We watched as Year 2000 blew by

Now it's a My Space reality
The Internet's a Dollar Tree
We do a little crank on the side

But if you ever need a weapon
Then you should do your shoppin'
In good old sleazy D.C.

Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom

We've hated Castro now for fifty years
For taking back what we had stole
Our criminal government talks democracy
Won't never come in from the cold.

Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom

You might think your vote's been stolen
You might think you lack control
There might be pills to cure this feelin'
They might just hollow out your soul.

Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom

So now it's biotechnology
And cosmetic surgery
We're on a permanent, botox high.

We got terrorist bombers
Takin' out our Hummers
And we graph it out statistically

The stock market's up
The interest rate's down
With a little more cash
We'll turn this whole thing around

Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom

Now the planet's getting too damn hot
On account of what we never thought
Keep on burnin' shit night and day
Can't go on forever that way.

Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom

So are you counting your retirement funds?
And in the future will we need more guns?
Is AIDS in Africa a concern of mine?
Is the human genome the new Frankenstein?

Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom

Well we need to save the water
Before it gets much hotter
Or the forests aren't gonna survive
Well we could live underground
Or on the dark side of the moon
Or scan ourselves on microchips
And all become cartoons

Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom
Baby Boom, Kaboom

[admin]

BEWARE SOFTWARE, by Charles Carreon





In Victorian times
Lived a man named Babbage
This song has nothing
to do with cabbage

It's all about software
That binds up your mind
That digital monster
That swallowed mankind

Beware, software
It'll eat you up
Bit by bit,
Byte by byte
Day and night,
Beware, software
For it has no soul
And no goal,
And soon,
Neither will you

Babbage imagined
programmed machines
That performed as directed
To a hundredth degree

Gates said "Make copies,
But I own each one!"
From Pac Man to Pokemon,
A barrel of fun

Beware, software
It'll eat you up
Bit by bit,
Byte by byte
Day and night,
Beware, software
It's not getting tired
Or feeling wired
Which is more than we
Can say for you

Now Frogger seems harmless
Email's a must
You might get a virus
Or hit by a bus

Some Nigerian scammer
Could make you his fool
Or you could bet a prescription
For a much bigger tool

Beware, software
It'll eat you up
Bit by bit,
Byte by byte
Day and night,
Beware, software
As you point and click
Don't forget
To save your work
And exit normally

[admin]

BURN YOUR BRIDGES, by Charles Carreon





My Dad taught me something
When I was young,
He was gifted with a silver tongue
He made me think that everything
Lay within my grasp
'Cause I understood
Why it pays to be good.

He always said
Burn your bridges, my son
Make no preparation for retreat
Don't think about gettin' beat
Just burn your bridges
And you'll see
There's only one road ahead
And it's the one you make
So burn your bridges
Every one.

It's a terrifying leap
That we make each day
Through the gates of hell
At least it seems that way
All the signs are misleading
I can't believe what I'm reading
Somehow gotta make it pay
Anyway

So I burn my bridges
One more time
Set out on the road that is mine
Toward the smoke of bridges burning
My mind will not be turning
Yes I've burned my bridges
One more time.

Some people worry they'll be dead someday
I don't tend to think that way
I've lost everything I ever had
And hasn't really been all that bad
The taste of the good old days
Lingers on

I've never been of the world of men
Probably had 'bout enough of them
I could burn those bridges
And feel fine.
Yes I'll burn some bridges
Anytime.

[admin]

BUSH RIDERS OUTTA CONTROL, by Charles Carreon





A stranger rode straight into town
The fear was in his eyes
He gulped a shot and then once more
And said, “What I’d advise,
Is saddle up and ride as hard and fast
As you can ride –
There’s Bush riders comin’
Bush riders outta control.”

He didn’t have to say it twice,
A mob made for the door,
The bartender yelled out, “Last call!”
And I called out, “One more.”
I had a winning poker hand
And had been about to raise
When my poker game was ended
By the stranger’s maddened phrase –

Yippee-I-O
Yippee-I-Ay
Bush riders comin',
Bush riders outta control.

I might not had a mentioned
That I’m from Tennessee
So I figured that I’d stick around
And see what I could see.
I’d seen some ruffians down south
With snake-eyes in their souls
So I figured I’d get a load of these
Bush riders outta control.

The eastern sky turned dark as pitch
As they moved toward the west
When they hit the edge of town
They didn’t stop for gas,
Just shifted to a lower gear
And yelled as they drove past,
“We’re just the advance column,
so watch out for your ass.”

And soon we saw what they had meant,
It was a dreadful sight.
An eclipse came down o’er the town
And plunged it into night,
And like a wounded animal
A siren shrieked in fright.
Then Cheney’s voice cried, “Open fire!”
And they put out the lights.

The shooting went on all night long
While Rumsfeld danced a jig
Then out came Condoleezza
Riding on a pig.
And Cheney with his shotgun
Shot friends and foes alike
Then the most fearsome among them
Stepped right up to the mike.

He had a folksy manner
And a kind of Texas drawl
He said, “We kicked old Saddam’s ass,
And got ourselves a haul,
So let’s just do some drinkin’
And all let down our hair,
‘Cause tomorrow when the sun comes up
We’ll all be billionaires.”

From where I hid I still could see
The clouds above his head,
As if an older evil
Had took his place instead,
With swastikas and murder camps
And instruments of dread,
It blasted through the megaphones
And straight into my head.

Yippee-I-O
Yippee-I-Ay
There's Bush riders comin',
Bush riders outta control.

Then they raised up a gleaming cross
To honor their own dead.
The Chief swept off his cowboy hat
And placed it on his chest.
He said, “These boys have died for us
And the values we hold best,
Now send their parents letters
And burn ‘em like the rest.”

When they broke camp there wasn’t much
They hadn’t broke or stole.
Just fire, wreckage, ruin
And the smell of burning oil.
‘Cause underneath that Christian hide
there lurks a demon soul,
Who let the devils out of hell
With just two words, “Let’s roll!”

Yippee-I-O
Yippee-I-Ay
Bush riders comin',
Bush riders outta control.
Yeah there's Bush riders comin',
Bush riders outta control!

[admin]

BUY AMERICAN, by Charles Carreon





One more Monday morning in the USA
Twenty thousand people lost their jobs today
We’re payin’ mercenaries
To fight some stupid war
If it isn’t over oil,
Then what the hell’s it for?

There’s a scary sound,
There’s a gathering danger
People talkin’ loud
Voices raised in anger

And if ya turn on the radio,
Whatta they say?
They’re givin’ billionaire bankers bonus pay,
They say ya can’t say no,
It’s the American way,

So BUY AMERICAN
DIE AMERICAN
BUY AMERICAN,
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!

One more Monday night in Afghanistan,
Kids try to do their homework without hands
There’s an enemy around here somewhere,
We gotta draw a line in the sand,
I wonder why they hate us?
We’ve killed all that we can.

There’s a scary sound,
There’s a gathering danger
People talkin’ loud
Voices raised in anger

And if ya turn on the Fox news
What’s Hannity say?
Ta win hearts and minds,
Ya gotta blow ‘em away,
As long as ratings go up,
It’s a perfect war,
So hand me that flag,
I’ll show what it’s for,

Go BUY AMERICAN
DIE AMERICAN
BUY AMERICAN,
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!

Military preparations never cease
Congress meets the generals on bended knee
They offer them our nation
With heartfelt gratitude,
But they couldn’t protect the Pentagon
From a fuckin’ missile, Dude!

The masses getting rude
Our schools are total failures
Our people have no pride
We live in tents and trailers

And in the grocery line
The magazines say
You can lose ten pounds in fifteen ways
Bin Laden seen with Elvis in Paris France
Brad’s kicked out,
Angelina wears the pants,

So BUY AMERICAN
DIE AMERICAN
BUY AMERICAN,
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!

[admin]

CAN'T CHANGE THE CHANNEL, by Charles Carreon





Well ya wake up in the mornin’
And ya got nothin’ to do
There ain’t no job to go to
And there’s nothin’ on the tube

But you can’t change the channel
No matter how you try
Even though ya’ got a hundred
They all repeat the Lie

Ya’ got your blonde wearin’ blue
And a guy talkin’ red
Ya’ got your weather and your sports
The rich and the dead

Ya’ got your stocks goin’ up
And your bonds goin’ down
Ya’ got your stars and the drugs
And your hip-hop clowns

And behind the screen ya’ know
It’s like the Truman Show
Some guy callin’ the shots
But you will never know

Is this war for real?
Are those people really dead?
Do cops really do that?
Let’s TIVO that again…

Well you can’t change the channel
And you can’t get a job
But you can vote with your remote
Part of the digital mob

Now politics is worthless,
It’s all part of the game
If you haven’t got a dollar
Nobody knows your name

Now Coke, Sprite and Pepsi
Are things I understand
They serve Kentucky Chicken
In the promised land

You don’t want to change the channel
After all what would you do?
Without your guy talkin’ red
And your chick wearin’ blue

You’d be a rat without a maze
A cop without a gun
A politician with no bribe
And that would be no fun

Thank God we can’t change the channel
No matter what we do
‘Cause one’s the perfect number
So who would count to two?

Ya’ got your stocks goin’ up
And your bonds goin’ down
Ya’ got your stars and the drugs
And your hip-hop clowns

And behind the screen ya’ know
It’s like the Truman Show
Some guy callin’ the shots
But you will never know.

[admin]

CONDOLEEZZA, by Charles Carreon




Rich Brand Condensed: Tits and Rice, Homestyle Recipe -- Soup (The Enlightened Cannibal Series, by Tara Carreon)

Lately I've been thinking how much I miss my lady
Condoleezza's in the West Wing brightening the daybreak
Living with a lust for power, running through the grass for hours
Rolling in your Hum-vee like an army-child

And when it rains oil dollars down
Washington's a cattle town
And she's far away somewhere with Colin Powell out-of-town
And she screens my corporate schemes
Protects me from those wild dreams when we swelled
Like Corporations fit to burst upon each other

I can see you by the window, planning first strikes in the evening
The fruit juice flowing slowly, slowly, slowly
Down the bronze of your bombshells
Stokin ' up my lust for power, bombing old Baghdad, oh for hours,
Flyin' your Apache like an army-child

Oh if only we could nestle in that hangout back in Saudi
My arms around your shoulders, the Bin Ladens laughin' and jokin'
While the smart bombs and the children are playing in the valley
Oh I miss you Condoleezza like a banker miss his money

Lately I've been thinking how much I miss my lady
Condoleezza's sowing minefields and clearin' out the terror
Living like a lusty flower, bombin' ole Saddam, oh for hours,
Rolling through old Baghdad like an army-child
Rolling in my Hum-vee with my puppy-child.