Trump Officials Defend Dumbest Group Text, Hypocrisy Runs Wild & Vance Disagrees with Daddy Donald
by Jimmy Kimmel
Jimmy Kimmel Live
Mar 25, 2025 #Kimmel
Team Trump is under scrutiny after a reporter from the Atlantic was added to a group chat discussing a planned military strike in Yemen, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth is busy blaming the reporter, they fired up the fair and balanced right wing news media to cover their tracks, several of the parties who were on the chat got grilled by Democrats this morning during a Senate Intelligence Committee hearing, Trump claims he is perfectly OK with it and not planning to fire anyone, JD Vance apparently did not agree with Trump’s plan, Daddy Donald decided to send JD ‘s wife Usha to Greenland, Marjorie Taylor Greene is hard at work on issues people really care about, and we celebrate Women’s History Month with help from Donald Trump.
Transcript
Thanks for
watching thanks for joining us here in
um Hollywood on
another fascinating day in this country
we call America quick question for the
audience anyone else get a group chat
invite from the National Security
Advisor today just me i know we
shouldn't enjoy the fact that we have a
confederacy of dunes running this
country but I'll be honest I can't help
it i'm enjoying it right now this week
in the race between dumb and evil Dumb's
in the lead dumb has a big lead in case
you haven't heard Michael Waltz Trump's
national security adviser inadvertently
added a reporter from the Atlantic the
editor-in-chief Jeffrey Goldberg to a
group chat on Signal the app the group
chat included the vice president the
defense secretary the secretary of state
the CIA director the national security
adviser the national intelligence
director and a handful of other
high-profile Trump appointees none of
them noticed that they were sharing
every detail of a planned military
strike on Houthi rebels in Yemen with a
civilian reporter who had nothing to do
with it and they are also not supposed
to have conversations like this on
Signal because it can be hacked and just
to add another also to the mix one of
the people on the chain was in Russia at
the time of the test not that they would
ever try to look at those but so you
would think one would think that the
administration would say "Hey oops we
screwed up." And hold the people
accountable that's where you would be
very wrong that's instead they are
denying denying denying they're like "We
weren't talking about blowing up Hoot
these were talking about Hoody and the
Blowfish."
It's It's fascinating to watch it really
is
because they screwed this up in a big
way pete Hegseth the Secretary of
Defense he's dead to rights he texted
very sensitive information to a reporter
so what does he do he blames the
reporter you're talking about
a deceitful and highly discredited
so-called journalist who's made a
profession of pedalling hoaxes time and
time again to include the I don't know
the hoaxes of Russia Russia Russia or
the fine people on both sides hoax or
suckers and losers hoax so this is the
guy that pedals in garbage this is like
and I know Pete can relate to this this
is like getting drunk driving your car
into a lampost and blaming the
lampost details shared on Signal and how
did you learn that a journalist was
privy to the targets the types of
weapons used i've heard I've heard I was
characterized nobody was texting war
plans and that's all I have to say about
that thank you well then let's see what
the guy you accidentally texted war
plans had to say about that i want to
start by getting your reaction to what
we heard from Secretary Het there saying
that nobody was texting war plans given
you were privy to this group Chad is
that how you saw it no that's a lie he
was texting war plans
i don't know why there's any debate
about this i mean we we have the texts
he printed them we've seen them the
White House confirmed the texts were
authentic and many of them are from Pete
Hadsth the same guy who said this about
Hillary Clinton using a private email
server if there was anyone other than
Hillary Clinton they would be in jail
right now correct for what has been done
because the assumption is in the
intelligence community if you are using
unclassified means there is the
potential for and likelihood that
foreign governments are targeting those
accounts and gathering intelligence from
them very well
said case closed you rest your honor oh
man
i bet I bet Hillary is walking around
the woods laughing her ass off today
lock them up lock them up hexath wasn't
the only one with a history of
contradictory thoughts on this subject
mike Waltz the dummy who actually added
the reporter to the chain in the first
place wrote this about his predecessor
in 2023 he wrote "Biden's sitting
national security adviser Jake Sullivan
sent top secret messages to Hillary
Clinton's private account and what did
DOJ do about it not a damn thing and
Secretary of State Little Marco Rubio
who was on the chain had some big
thoughts about it too the exposure of
American sensitive information to
foreign intelligence agencies by
communicating in an insecure manner is
incompetence it is malpractice it's
inexcusable i couldn't agree more i
really That's You nailed it
you
precisely But that was back in 2015
here's what Marco Rubio today had to say
secretary will you comment all the
signal group chats that you were
involved in
yeah sorry I don't have time to chat
right now i I got to scurry off and hide
in a mouse hole oh they must want to
kill Mike Waltz for you idiot in any
other world these people would be fired
or worse for something like this instead
they keep saying "Oh this information
wasn't even classified." As if they
wanted people to know about it and they
fired up the fair and balanced
right-wing news media today to do their
best to cover their tracks did you hear
about the snafu can we call it a snafu a
little bit of an oops maneuver i mean
mistakes happen mistakes happen all the
time jeffrey Goldberg is somebody that
President Trump and his senior adviserss
do not like he is not a credible
reporter he is rotten regardless of what
you think the operation was
overwhelmingly successful if you read
the content of these messages I think
you'll come away proud it was a
refreshing look to see that we actually
did have leaders that were getting along
and having a robust conversation i have
no concerns about it at all it's it's
adults having a a discussion what you
did see though I think was top level
officials doing their their job doing it
well well it doesn't come close to Joe
Biden putting all that classified stuff
in his garage does it well this is what
the leftist media is reduced to so now
we're griping about who's on a text
message and who's not i mean come on do
you ever try to start a group text
you're adding people and you
accidentally add the wrong person all of
a sudden your aunt Mary knows all your
runchy plans for the bachelor party well
that kind of happened today with the
Trump administration right
like a bachelor party thing come on now
and Mary will understand she's cool
remember when we caught her smoking weed
we didn't say anything then anyway it
just so happened that the Senate
Intelligence Committee had a hearing
scheduled for today which meant the
Democrats got to grill several of the
individuals who were on the chat it was
like having to take a road trip with
your mom the day after she caught you
masturbating
and while they can you know they can
deny and they can deflect it all they
want even a lot of Republicans agree
publicly for once that this was an
unprecedented breach of security
protocol we haven't seen a leak this
shocking since the one from Rudy
Giuliani but President Trump he's
uh he claims he's perfectly okay with it
he says he's not planning to fire
anybody he says mistakes were made what
happened to this guy he used to fire
people on a daily he fired Meatloaf for
less than this he's firing used to be
his favorite thing it's kind of sad he's
like an old dog who doesn't chase the
ball anymore i I don't know if he's
enjoying this which is possible i mean
he does love Tumult and for once he's
not the one who screwed it up but one of
the most interesting things that came
out of the chat is that JD Vance
apparently did not agree with Trump's
plan to bomb he wrote "I think we are
making a mistake and I'm not sure the
president is aware how inconsistent this
is with his message on Europe right
now." And then Pete Hexath chimed in he
said "VP I understand your concerns i
fully support you raising with pus." In
other words good luck with that
bro so then Vance was like "Um well you
know what if you think we should do it
let's go." And they did and again we
know all this because they accidentally
added a reporter to their text
chain this is good too for whatever
reason Trump decided to send JD Vance's
wife Usha to Greenland to meet with
their realtor i guess I don't know why
but when they asked about it during a
cabinet meeting yesterday it didn't seem
like Trump could quite remember her name
greenland is confused about the second
lady and the national security adviser
visiting this week i thought it would be
a great I have great respect for uh the
wife of our first uh of our great vice
president i think she's doing a she's a
brilliant woman she's a very nice woman
and she loves the concept of Greenland
yeah well you know who doesn't who she
loves the concept of Greenland i've
always said that about her whatever her
name is she loves the concept of
Greenland so that that was yesterday
today we got the news that all of a
sudden another Vance loves the concept
of Greenland too hey guys it's Shady
Vance the vice president and you know
there was so much excitement around
Usha's visit to Greenland this Friday
that I decided that I didn't want her to
have all that fun by herself and so I'm
going to join her
yeah in light of this embarrassing group
chat scandal I have decided to go
thousands of miles away from here too if
you need me do not text me on signal
let me tell you something this would be
so funny if it was happening to another
country meanwhile speaking of other
countries in Florida
they're in Florida they are running out
of orange juice of all things the orange
industry is getting hit hard by diseased
crops in Florida even the trees have
STDs now it's in addition to loss of
crops conservationists are worried
because the trees the orange trees not
only they provide oranges they also
provide shelter for the state's millions
of invasive pythons but there is some
good news for the Sunshine State
marjorie Taylor Green is hard at work on
the number one issue Floridaians care
about most i'm headed down to the
Natural Resources Committee where I will
be presenting my bill to rename the Gulf
the Gulf of America this will cautify
President Trump's executive order to
rename the Gulf the Gulf of America its
rightful name
oh come on how cute is it she's got the
horse that kicked her in the head on her
right there on her shirt it's Marge is
one of many strong women that make this
country great march as you know is
Women's History Month and tonight we
celebrate with the great champion of
equal rights our President Donald J
trump
helen Keller you know her you love her
even though she was deaf dumb and blind
as a rock she couldn't speak she
couldn't see and her golf game was a
disaster couldn't putt to save her own
life but then a fantastic woman took the
time to teach her how to read and write
very well even better than Eric and she
loved water went crazy for it waw wa is
what she called it waw wa poor girl
couldn't say diet coke helen Keller
wrote 12 books but no one knows if they
made any sense probably didn't and then
she campaigned for women voting which I
did very well with women record women
voters all for Trump thanks to Helen
they called her Helen what a word helen
she liked Ike he was not a great beauty
either sometimes blind is good in 1980
Helen got her own postage stamp just
like another American hero who couldn't
talk very good named
Scooby-Doo scooby-doo remember Scooby
scooby loved his snacks he loved them he
loved to lick and sniff i hate dogs but
I love
Scooby-Doo happy Women's History Month
to all the haters and to Helen
thank you Mr president gmo do you know
how many subscribers we have on YouTube
now uh 20 millions that's right yeah
that's why we're wearing these glasses
thanks for being a subscriber if you're
not help us get to 20 million and one
[Music]