Well Did You Evah?: Vignette From Red, Hot & Blue

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WELL DID YOU EVAH? -- VIGNETTE FROM RED, HOT & BLUE
directed by Alex Cox
starring Iggy Pop and Debbie Harry

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Screenplay

RED, HOT & BLUE: A BENEFIT FOR AIDS RESEARCH & RELIEF

[transcribed from the movie by Tara Carreon]

GALA PREMIER FOR "HIGH SOCIETY", Commentary by Michael Fitzmaurice, News of the Day

[Michael Fitzmaurice, News of the Day] They start gathering early for the Hollywood Premier of High Society,
MGM's delightful musical ...
starring Bing Crosby, Grace Kelly, and Frank Sinatra.
With the coming of night, comes a shower of millions of fragrant rose petals ...
heralding the parade of stars.

[High Society]

An excited crowd sees the arrival of Cole Porter,
the great songwriter who outdid himself with his magnificent score for High Society.

***

[Mike] [Singing] I have heard, among this clan, you are called a forgotten man.

[Dexter] Is that what they're saying? Well, did you evah? What a swell party this is.

[Mike] And have you heard, the story of, a boy, a girl, unrequited love?

[Dexter] Sounds like pure soap opera,

[Mike] I may cry,

[Dexter] Tune in tomorrow, what a swell party this is.

***

[Rock n' roll music]

[Debbie Harry] [Singing] I have heard, among this clan, you are called a forgotten man.

[Iggy Pop] Is that what they're saying?
Well, did you evah?

[Both] What a swell party this is.

[Iggy Pop] And have you heard, the story of, a boy, a girl, unrequited love?

[Debbie Harry] It sounds like pure soap opera, I may cry,

[Car crash]

[Both] What a swell party this is.

[Iggy Pop] What frails,

[Debbie Harry] What cocks,

[Iggy Pop] What broads,

[Debbie Harry] What jocks,

[Iggy Pop] What furs! They're beautiful!

[Debbie Harry] Why, I never seen such ...
yuppity

[Alex Cox] [Being yuppity]

[Debbie Harry] Neither did I.

[Iggy Pop] It's all just too ...

[Both] swelligant!

***

[Debbie Harry] This French champagne

[Iggy Pop] domestic,

[Debbie Harry] So good,
for the brain.

[Iggy Pop] That was what I was going to say!

[Debbie Harry] Well, you know, you're a brilliant fellow.

[Iggy Pop] Thank you, I am

[Debbie Harry] Drink up, Jim!

***

[Iggy Pop] So,
have you ever been out to L.A. lately?

[Debbie Harry] No, no, not recently.

[Iggy Pop] Well, I went there.
I had a rent-a-car and all.

[Debbie Harry] Oh, really?

[Iggy Pop] Yeah, I got invited to Pia's house, Pia Zadora's house.

[Debbie Harry] Really?

[Iggy Pop] Yeah!

[Debbie Harry] Was it nice?

[Iggy Pop] Well -- well I didn't go.

[Debbie Harry] Oh!

[Iggy Pop] But it would have been swell, though.

[Debbie Harry] You should have gone!

[Iggy Pop] It would have been elegant!

[Debbie Harry] Elegant!
Oh, wait. Look.
Look who's coming in now! Can you believe it?

[Dinosaur swooping in]

[Iggy Pop] I hear they dismantled Pigfair.

[Debbie Harry] Me, too!

[Iggy Pop] It wasn't elegant enough.

[Debbie Harry] Yeah, probably full of termites.

***

It's grand,

[Both] it's grand,
Wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wonderland.
La la la la
la la la la la la la la la. We sing, so well, like old, Camembert!

***

[Iggy Pop] Have you heard,
the dying star,
she got bit,
in the astro-bar.

[Debbie Harry] Sauced again,
well, did you evah?

[Both] What a swell ...
party this is.
Have you heard,
it's in the stars,
next July we collide with Mars?
Well, did you evah?
What a swell ...
party,
what a swell ...
party,
what a swelligant,

[Dinosaur screeching overhead]

elegant,
party.

[Debbie Harry] Smarty.

[Iggy Pop] Party.

[Debbie Harry] Carl is smarty.
Not this party.

[Iggy Pop] Yeah, that's right!

[Debbie Harry] Well, piss off!

[Iggy Pop] [Laughing] That's Debbie!

[Mars collides with Earth and Explodes]